Part 1: The Accident, The X-Box Battle and the 2011 World Domination Event.

A/N: The ~ sign is used like a link here because some of the symbols don't show up here.

William Kaplan and Theodore Altman are in a relationship.
Katherine Bishop, Wanda Maximoff and 4 others like this.
(3 Comments)
Thomas Shepherd: And none of us saw this coming...
Katherine Bishop: Still. It's adorable, there now professing their love over Facebook.
Elijah Bradley: And you don't think everyone knows by now?

Thomas Shepherd to Katherine Bishop: I think you and ~Elijah Bradley~ should get a room. It's bad enough with ~William Kaplan~ and ~Theodore Altman~ at HQ.
Clint Barton likes this.

Elijah Bradley has blocked Thomas Shepherd.
William Kaplan, Theodore Altman, Katherine Bishop, Cassandra Lang and Vision (Jonas) like this.

Thomas Shepherd to Elijah Bradley: You should pull that stick out of your ass.
William Kaplan, Cassandra Lang and Theodore Altman like this.
(2 Comments)
Katherine Bishop: Hey! You guys are unfair!
Thomas Shepherd: The truth hurts, doesn't it, Kate?

Katherine Bishop: I'm sharpening my sword.
William Kaplan and Elijah Bradley like this.

Thomas Shepherd to Katherine Bishop: You know I'm not afraid of you, plus it's a fact that I have super-speed, which renders your threat useless.

Katherine Bishop to Thomas Shepherd: I don't care.

Cassandra Lang and Vision (Jonas) are in a relationship.
Katherine Bishop, William Kaplan, Theodore Altman, Wanda Maximoff and Thomas Shepherd like this.
(6 Comments)
Pietro Maximoff: I think I'm having deja vu
Clint Barton: No-one cares what you think, Pietro.
William Kaplan: Good for you guys!
Cassandra Lang: Thanks Billy :)
Elijah Bradley: I'm confused. When did this happen? Why didn't anyone tell me? How?
Thomas Shepherd: Because they like each other, duh.

Theodore Altman to Thomas Shepherd: You need a girlfriend. Like a real one.
Elijah Bradley, Cassandra Lang, Katherine Bishop and William Kaplan like this.
(1 Comment)
Thomas Shepherd: Care to volunteer, Kate? I've noticed you and Eli aren't together on facebook yet...

Katherine Bishop is now in a relationship with Elijah Bradley.
William Kaplan and 12 others like this.
(2 Comments)
Thomas Shepherd: Damn.
Cassandra Lang: That won't stop you though...

Katherine Bishop is now friends with Clint Barton.
William Kaplan like this.

Clint Barton: I want to murder ~Pietro Maximoff~.
Peter Parker, Anthony Stark and Hank Pym like this.
(8 Comments)
Anthony Stark: You can borrow my armour if you like :P
Clint Barton: I'll come 'round yours tonight.
Anthony Stark: See you at 7 *winks*
Barbara 'Bobbi' Morse: I knew it. Clint's gay.
Pietro Maximoff: I always knew it, though I have to admit I thought Tony would always go for Steve...
Steve Rogers: What?
Anthony Stark: I always thought that Pietro would go for Wanda.
Wanda Maximoff: Okay, that's creepy.

Pietro Maximoff: I would like to remind ~Peter Parker~, ~Anthony Stark~ and ~Hank Pym~ that I do not have a 'thing' for my sister cause that's considered INCEST! I know where you all live.
(5 Comments)
Thomas Shepherd: That is kinda creepy...it's like people thinking me and Billy hooking up.
William Kaplan: Can I get those addresses?
Thomas Shepherd: You know what? That's even creepier.
Wanda Maximoff: I worry about Tommy and Billy sometimes.
Elijah Bradley: I think we all do.

Wanda Maximoff to Pietro Maximoff: You need time off. Seriously.
Anthony Stark and Clint Barton like this.

Thomas Shepherd: Why the hell do The Avengers suddenly all have facebook? Did I miss something?
12 people like this.

Anthony Stark and Wanda Maximoff are now friends with Steve Rogers.
28 people like this.

William Kaplan: I'm officially freaked out. ~Steve Rogers~ has Facebook? What's next? The Avengers have a princess party where we all go ice-skating?
Thomas Shepherd and 13 others like this.
(3 Comments)
Robert 'Bobby' Drake: That was my idea for the next years end-of-year X-Men Party :P
Scott Summers: No, Bobby. Just no.
Katherine Pryde: That'd be so awesome!

Katherine Bishop had changed her profile picture.
Elijah Bradley and Clint Barton like this.
William Kaplan: You look like you want to kill someone, just try not to get blood on the floor, Kate. I know it gives HQ character, but it seriously makes us look like a group of amateur murderers.
Clint Barton: Sometime, you Young Avengers worry me.
Wanda Maximoff: It's just a natural stage in their development, Clint.
Pietro Maximoff: I agree with Clint. They could easily be Deadpool's next best buddies.
Peter Parker: Oh look! An agreement between the Clint and Pietro!
Steve Rogers: I wondered when this day would come.
Anthony Stark: Don't give your hopes up, Cap.
Johnny Storm: 50 bucks that they don't make it through the week.
Hank Pym: Deal *shakes Johnny's hand*

Erik Lehnsherr is now friends with Victor Von Doom.
Loki, Red Skull, Venom, Norman Osborn, Galactus and Kang the Conquerer like this.

Peter Parker: I think the end of the world is approaching. Anyone agree? Cause I bet I'm not the only one.
Steve Rogers and 22 other like this.
(2 Comments)
Steve Rogers: I just wanted everyone to know that I'm not 'liking' this status because I think it's funny that all out enemies have facebook, I'm just agreeing with Peter
Thomas Shepherd: We gathered that.

Wanda Maximoff and Pietro Maximoff have blocked Erik Lehnsherr.
13 people like this.

Clint Barton, Steve Rogers, and 10 others have blocked Erik Lehnserr and Victor Von Doom.

Thomas Shepherd and 20 others are now friends with Johnny Storm.

Johnny Storm to Victor Von Doom: I reckon you haven't planned enough world domination so now your taking on the virtual world too. That's low, even for you, Victor.
Susan Richards, Reed Richards and 11 others like this.

Steve Rogers and Nicholas Fury are now friends.
(8 Comments)
Peter Parker: Okay guys, we can't deal drugs anymore. All stock has moved from my house to an undisclosed location.
Johnny Storm: Damn.
Susan Richards: Johnny!
Thomas Shepherd: How much?
Wanda Maximoff: ...
Thomas Shepherd: That was a joke.
Wanda Maximoff:...
Thomas Shepherd: *sigh*

Victor Von Doom, Erik Lehnsherr, Red Skull, Loki and 13 others are attending 2011 World Domination Event.
(4 Comments)
Peter Parker: ...
Anthony Stark: Let me guess, all those 13 others are most likely villians?
Theodore Altman: What a brilliant deduction, Tony.
Anthony Stark: Do I sense sarcasm there, Hulkling?

Nicholas Fury to S.H.I.E.L.D Agents: Track down the location of that meeting. Now.
13 people like this.
(1 Comment)
Daisy Johnson: One step ahead of you, Nick.

Steve Rogers: I wonder Avenger's Assemble battle cry works over facebook.
(1 Comment)
Wanda Maximoff: Doubt it.

Carol Danvers: I think Steve Rogers and Anthony Stark need to get their asses over to Avenger's Tower.

Nico Minouro, Chase Stein, Victor Mancha and 4 others are now friends with William Kaplan, Thomas Shepherd and 13 others.

Victor Mancha and Vision (Jonas) have been listed as brothers.
(1 Comment)
Logan: That's makes no sense.

William Kaplan: Thomas Shepherd just had his ass handed to by none other than ~Katherine Bishop~.
Cassandra Lang, Elijah Bradley and 13 other like this.
(4 Comments)
Wanda Maximoff: Is he okay?
Clint Barton: Did he bleed? Any broken bones or fractures?
William Kaplan: ...
Clint Barton: I have a bad feeling about this.

Thomas Shepherd has checked into Lenox Hill Hospital.
(18 Comments)
Katherine Bishop: I swear I didn't mean to hit him that hard! He just layed there, unconscious and I thought that he was joking to mess with me like he always does-
Wanda Maximoff: Pietro, your coming to the hospital with me. NOW.
Pietro Maximoff: I'm already there. So are Billy and Teddy. Your son teleported us.
Clint Barton: Wow, Kate, you go girl! *hides under rock to avoid being hexed by The Scarlet Witch*
Wanda Maximoff: Clinton Francis Barton, do not make me come over to you and rip your head off!
Steve Rogers: Tony, can you give me a lift? I don't want Wanda going crazy again.
Anthony Stark: Where are you? I'll pick you up in the armor.
Steve Rogers: I'm at Bucky's.
Peter Parker: *insert inappropriate joke*
Johnny Storm: *images of inappropriate sexual images between Cap and Bucky appear in mind*
Hank Pym: I really wonder what you guys do in your spare time if all you can think about our sexual fantasies between Steve and Bucky...
Peter Parker: Could be worse, we could be thinking about Tony and Rhodey.
Johnny Storm: Too late.
Anthony Stark: Or we could be thinking about Victor Von Doom and Magneto.
Hank Pym: Seriously? That's worse than Vision and Ultron.
Peter Parker: Vision and Ulton would be considered incest though.
Johnny Storm: Didn't stop Pietro and Wanda.
Susan Storm: JOHNNY! That's it. One more joke about incest and I'l have Reed disable the internet, and then I'd get Ben to smash your laptop beyond repair, got it?

Wanda Maximoff, Steve Rogers, Anthony Stark and 3 others checked in at Lenox Hill Hospital.
(8 Comments)
Cassandra Lang: How is he? Is he okay? How the hell did he update his status?
William Kaplan: I did. He's fine, for now. Still knocked out, but he'll be fine. Kate is being eaten away by her own guilt.
Hank Pym: Well, he couldn't excatly hit her back could he?
Peter Parker: *cough cough*
Theodore Altman: Sometimes, the Avengers are just a group of immature teenagers.
William Kaplan: You mean they act like us? And all the Avengers are immature teenagers, well, except for Cap...
Clint Barton: You obviously haven't seen him at some of the Avenger Parties. Especially the one with imported alcohol from like Wundagore or something.
Anthony Stark: Nice one, Clint. I have that one on video. :P

Katherine Bishop: OMG I feel terrible! I'm going to have to find someway on making it up to ~Thomas Shepherd~ for knocking him out with my bow.
Clint Barton, Peter Parker and Johnny Storm like this.
(11 Coments)
Elijah Bradley: Don't fell bad about yourself, he deserved it. We were all waiting for someone to do it, and you just happened to have the guts to.
Katherine Bishop: ELI! NOT HELPING!
Clint Barton: That bad, huh?
Wade Wilson: The first kill is always the hardest, I remember when I first became a merc and I had this killer gun and I was like 'yes, fear me, bitch' and then I blew his head off. Good times. Hey, does anyone have any soda? I feel like soda, or lemonade, or orange juice- though that isn't a soda, but you could make it one. Cool, orange juice soda. Has anyone checked out my awesome Deadpool #33.1 that came out a couple of weeks ago? Not as many sales as I would like, but it's a .1 issue and there's no point in them in the first place and Children's Crusade is coming out in a couple of days and I guess everyones just dying for that, right Wanda? Geez, we all know you turn out 'fine'
William Kaplan: How the hell did Deadpool get into this conversation?
Nicholas Fury: Wade, this is a secure conversation only reachable by using the Avenger Security Protocol which was made by an A.I.
Wade Wilson: Not secure enough for me, honey. Or sugar, or sweetie, whatever you would like to be called.
Clint Barton: Can I be honey?
Peter Parker: Shotgun sugar!
Nicholas Fury: Well, that leaves me with sweetie then, doesn't it? Sometimes I really hate you, Wade.
Wade Wilson: The feeling is mutal, I assure and everyone should get Fear Itself: Deadpool which is on sale this week :)

Wanda Maximoff to Katherine Bishop. You have to have some serious owing up to do with my son when he awakens from unconsciousness.
(9 Comments)
Anthony Stark: If he is your son, that is.
Pietro Maximoff: Here we go again. Just cause you don't believe in magic, asshole.
Clint Barton: We all know that Zippy and Harry Potter are Wanda's reincarnated sons, okay? The more we try and disagree with it, the more Wanda goes crazy over it. And remember what happened last time. And I'm not sure about you, but I don't want to die again.
Nicholas Fury: Harry Potter?
Peter Parker: As in a 'wizard', Nick. Geez, where have you been the last 8 years?
Nicholas Fury: Making sure you Avengers don't so anything stupid. Which I seem really bad at if you're all on Facebook.
Wade Wilson: I've never killed a wizard before.
Katherine Bishop: You never shut you, do you, Wade?
Wade Wilson:/b Not when I can help it.

Wade Wilson: Anyone want to make some orange juice soda?
Molly Hayes likes this.

William Kaplan: I'm actually surprised at how many people have turned up to see the unconscious body of my brother. He'd be so thrilled, if he was awake that is.
(22 Comments)
Wanda Maximoff: You shouldn't be speaking about your brother like that, Billy. He's still injured, no need to rub it in his face.
William Kaplan: Sorry. But it's the first time in like weeks since the team actually agreed on something without Tommy interupting and screwing it all up.
Wanda Maximoff: That reminds me of someone...
Pietro Maximoff: No need to point the finger, Wanda.
Clint Barton: But she didn't say anything.
Peter Parker: They're twins, the probably have a psychic connection or something.
Wanda Maximoff: Actually, I pointed to him through the window.
Johnny Storm: Wow, that ruins the mystery to it.
Katherine Bishop: Have the doctors told you when he's going to wake up? I hate to admit it, but the team kinda sucks when he isn't here.
Elijah Bradley: Does not! We work fine. We have Billy.
William Kaplan: Yeah, when I'm not being stalked by all the Avengers cause of my 'tendacy to go Wanda-like'
Wanda Maximoff: CLINT! I know that's you! Stop picking on him!
Steve Rogers: You don't have to shout, Wanda. Literally. I'm right down the hall getting a coffee with Tony and I can hear you screaming as you type.
Pietro Maximoff: Same here, and I'm in the carpark. And we all know you're getting more than 'coffee'.
Theodore Altman: Why are you in the carpark for? You don't have to drive anywhere, you can run. That's why Tommy refuses to get a drivers license. Good thing too, I don't trust him behind the wheel.
Pietro Maximoff: I have crappy reception.
Johnny Storm: And that's one thing you never hear an Avenger say.
Wade Wilson: You can talk, Mr. I-the-only-FF-member-to-not-be-an-Avenger.
Johnny Storm: Hey, Pietro? You said you had everyone's address, well would you mind giving me Deadpool's?
Pietro Maximoff: Maybe not. I thought you wanted to be an Avenger cause the main rule is Avenger's don't kill.
Logan: Tell that to Wanda.
William Kaplan: Yeah, Wolverine? Now's not a good time...mum's kinda...glowing.
Wanda Maximoff: I FIXED EVERYTHING! I BROUGHT EVERYONE BACK AND YOU'RE STILL NOT HAPPY!
Hank Pym: Okay Ms. Maximoff, calm down. I can see your red glow from the bathroom.

Jerry Sledge, Daisy Johnson and Yo-yo Rodriguez are now friends with Alexander Aaron- The God of Fear, Son of War, God of X-Box and Secret Badass Spy.
(10 Comments)
Daisy Johnson: Long enough title there, Alex? :|
Alexander Aaron- The God of Fear, Son of War, God of X-Box and Secret Badass Spy: It was longer at first, but there is a letter restriction when creating a profile on Facebook.
Yo-yo Rodriguez: How much longer could it possibly be? I think you've covered pretty much everything.
Alexander Aaron- The God of Fear, Son of War, God of X-Box and Secret Badass Spy: I had Renicarnted God, Cause of Hellfire's Death, etc...
Daisy Johnson: Alex...
Alexander Aaron- The God of Fear, Son of War, God of X-Box and Secret Badass Spy: Oops, sorry.
Jerry Sledge: Well, Alex has discovered Facebook. Nick aint gonna like this...
Alexander Aaron- The God of Fear, Son of War, God of X-Box and Secret Badass Spy: He doesn't have to. Cause if he interupts me from my 'social life' dad promised to deal with it.
Yo-yo Rodriguez: Oh, nice one. Using Ares as a threat so you can stay on facebook.
Alexander Aaron- The God of Fear, Son of War, God of X-Box and Secret Badass Spy: Pretty cool, huh?

Nicholas Fury to Alexander Aaron- The God of Fear, Son of War, God of X-Box and Secret Badass Spy: Your evil.
8 people like this.
(5 Comments)
Clint Barton: Stop being harsh on the kid, Nick. I like him, he's pretty awesome. Anyone who can beat Johnny Storm on COD is worth that title.
Alexander Aaron- The God of Fear, Son of War, God of X-Box and Secret Badass Spy: Finally, someone who's cool!
Johnny Storm: I didn't take any offense or anything, Alex...
Bobby Drake: Hey, I'm pretty *cool* XD
Wade Wilson Worst. Pun. Ever.

Thomas Shepherd: Katherine Bishop. You owe me. Just cause I was unconscious for like 3 hours and got a couple of stitches on my head doesn't mean I've forgotten what you did.
25 people like this.
(9 Comments)
Katherine Bishop: I'M REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY SORRY!
Wanda Maximoff: I think you forgot a 'sorry' there.
Thomas Shepherd: I was actually suprised to see eveyrone crowding around my body in hospital. I mean, Iron Man and Captian America were there.
Pietro Maximoff: Don't mention me or anything.
Thomas Shepherd: Your my uncle. I expect you, mum and Billy to be there. It's pretty standard.
William Kaplan: Glad your better though.
Wade Wilson: Sometimes I wonder why we're on facebook when we're like 1 meter from each other. It's like a waste of electricity. You know that you can have a phobia of electricity? It's called Electrophobia.
Nicholas Fury: I'm not going to comment on that.
Hank Pym: You just did.

Johnny Storm to Alexander Aaron- The God of Fear, Son of War, God of X-Box and Secret Badass Spy: Wanna play Halo tonight? I'm having a battle at Four Freedoms Plaza. Do u want me to pick u up in the Fantsticar?
(23 Comments)
Alexander Aaron- The God of Fear, Son of War, God of X-Box and Secret Badass Spy: Sure. I'm on the Helicarrier.
Thomas Shepherd: Hey, can I come too? I'm sick of mum babying me.
Johnny Storm: Sure. I'm sure you can run to the plaza being Quicksilver II and all.
Pietro Maximoff: That's really offensive. To me that is. I feel like an outdated model or something.
Thomas Shepherd: But you are an outdated model. We all know I'm way hotter and faster than you. Plus I have a cooler costume.
Clint Barton: Hey, can I come too? Bobbi refuses to let me play in the mansion, and when I do manage to get to the X-Box, Tony's hogging the tv watching gay porn with Steve.
Steve Rogers: We do not!
Anthony Stark: ...
Thomas Shepherd: ...Well...I could've lived without knowing that.
Johnny Storm: I'll pick you up, Clint. Avengers Mansion?
Clint Barton: Thanks.
Johnny Storm: So Alex, Tommy and Clint are coming. Anyone else want to play?
Logan: Is there booze?
Johnny Storm: Naturally.
Logan: Add me to the list then. The X-Men get boring.
Scott Summers: That's cause you don't do anything.
Wade Wilson: He's in like 10 titles a month! How can he be not doing anything? Hey, can I come? I promise not to kill anyone. If I can help it. But If you want me to, sure. No complaints from me.
Thomas Shepherd: That's kinda the entire point of the game.
Nicholas Fury: No, I think he means in actual life.
Johnny Storm: Nick! You can come! You kill people, you'll be like hectic at Halo
Nicholas Fury: No thanks, Human Torch. I've got to speak to Ares about Alexander.
Hank Pym: Good luck with that, Nick.
Steve Rogers: You'll need it.
James 'Bucky' Barnes: Seriously. You'll need it.

Alexander Aaron- God of Fear, Son of War, God of X-Box and Secret Badass Spy: I think Nick Fury has a death wish.
30 people like this.

Johnny Storm: Eh, who's the awesomest superhero ever! ME! Why? Cause I'm holding the biggest Halo Battle at The Plaza with some of the awesomest heroes ever! ~Thomas Shepherd~, ~Logan~, ~Alexander Aaron-God of Fear, Son of War, God of X-Box and Secret Badass Spy~, ~Wade Wilson~, ~Clint Barton~ and me, the Human Torch! And if that isn't the best line up, screw yourself!
5 people like this.
(14 Comments)
Thomas Shepherd: Damn right you are!
Wade Wilson: Hell yeah!
Clint Barton: If we're playing teams, bags being with Alex and Tommy!
Alexander Aaron- God of Fear, Son of War, God of X-Box and Secret Badass Spy: Prepare to get your asses kicked!
Wanda Maximoff: I thought it was only 4 players- you have 6 :|
Johnny Storm: We have a special X-Box, it can hold up to 12 controllers. And you think we have the same Halo that all the civilians have? No. I made a deal with Franklin involving time travel. Gotta love him.
Susan Richards: You did what!
Thomas Shepherd: It's a bonus when you have a relative who can alter reality. I make Billy do stuff for me all the time.
William Kaplan: Yeah, and I use you for when I need someone to get to the comic book shop as soon as possible.
Theodore Altman: Which results in you obsessing over a comic during training which pisses of Kate.
William Kaplan:Admit it, Teddy, me geeking out turns you on.
Theodore Altman: Of course it does, but me being turned on results in us making out when we should be thwarting super villians.
Cassandra Lang: Which pisses of Eli.
Vision (Jonas): Exactly.

Wade Wilson, Clint Barton, Thomas Shepherd, Alexander Aaron- God of Fear, Son of War, God of X-Box and Secret Badass Spy, and Logan have checked into Four Freedom's Plaza.
Johnny Storm likes this.