Last chapter, folks! Thanks for reading and reviewing, and I hope you liked it! Don't be afraid to check out my other story, A Most Powerful Magic. Also, keep an eye out for my upcoming Gajeel/Levy story, Black and Blue, and my upcoming Lisanna/Bixlow story, Lost Souls, both of which are a lot less dramatic than their titles suggest. And, of course, another upcoming Fairy Tail story (which might not be out for a while) Repulse. Don't worry, I got big plans for our favorite guild. But until then, sayonara!

SEVEN SECRETS: Secrets of the Master

"Ooooookay, everybody, are you ready?" Mirajane's voice boomed out of the microphone. The entirety of the Fairy Tail guild cheered at a ear-splitting volume, beating their drinks on the table in staggered harmony. Mira grinned across the stage where Master was tied to a chair, looking terrified. "As you know, our dear old Master here decided that he would play a mean joke on us," she continued, shooting the quaking Makarov a wink. She gestured to the pile of note cards and nodded at Natsu. "Well, that's all over! He won't get entertainment from our private lives anymore!"

Natsu roared fire at the cards, which were immediately engulfed in flames. The guild cheered with more vehemency, if that was even possible, at the sight of the inferno. Makarov began struggling within the bonds, his eyes filled with tears. His secrets, his beautiful, blackmail-worthy secrets...!

"We've already given Master a bit of a fright," Mirajane said, transforming into Guran Doma (who looked rather odd in a dress) before their very eyes. "But the fun's not over! Erza and I have decided that Master deserves a taste of his own medicine. What do you think?"

The crowd's palpable wave of shouts nearly knocked Mira over. She blinked and shook her head in bafflement, returning to her normal form. She extracted a single note card from her pocket and grinned down at it, shaking with contained chuckles. Makarov went very, very pale.

"Earlier today I gave Master a Truth Potion I whipped up and asked him what his seven most humiliating, most embarrassing secrets were," she said, on the edge of giggles the entire time she was speaking. "Then I wrote them down. Do you want me to read them to you?"

"Yes!"

"I said, Do you guys want me to read them to you?"

"YEEEEEES!"

"Here we go!" Mirajane smiled, looking down at the card. Makarov cried out and tried to slip through his bonds, but they must have been anti-magic. He couldn't transform.

"No, please, Mira! Don't do it!" he cried, tears streaming down his face.

"Name: Makarov," Mirajane began, paying no heed to the Master's sobs. The guild fell into an eager hush, curious as to what the Master's secrets would be.

"1. I stay my short height because I like seeing up girls' skirts."

There was an outraged cry from all the women of Fairy Tail, whose hands flew to the hems of their dresses. The men either guffawed openly or choked down laughter, depending on the quantity of females in the vicinity. Wakaba even went as far to mumble, "Who doesn't?" and was quickly slapped by Cana.

"2. I was abducted by aliens."

The guild shot Makarov a look that clearly said, "Really, Master, really?"

"It's true!" Makarov said. "I was I swear!"

"3. They took my DNA and made little Makarov-clones - oh, please, Master! Did I give you enough Truth Potion? Are you just messing with us?"

"It's true! And they're - "

"Let me guess; number 4. The clones are going to take over the world."

"Yes! Thank you! Someone believes I'm not a nutcase!"

"Nobody said that," Gajeel muttered, earning a look of disapproval from Levy.

"5. My secret ambition has always been to study interpretive dance."

Vijeeter frowned (more than usual) when the entire guild burst into laughter. "There's nothing wrong with that," he snapped, tossing his head.

"6. I have 29 cats living in my house - oh, Master, that's just unhealthy."

"Does that make him a crazy cat guy?" Natsu whispered to Lucy.

"You're one to talk," she replied, eying Happy.

Mirajane grinned down at the card. "And finally, number 7 is - "

"No! Please, Mira, skip that one! Please!"

" - I was once the lead singer in a hair band. My nick name was" - Mirajane couldn't retain a snort of amusement - "Chrome Lovehandle."

The guild shrieked with laughter as Makarov's face went tomato-red. And to make things worse, Mirajane had obviously come prepared to humiliate him into a heart attack, because she had somehow located a picture of him from the hair band days and had blown it up so everyone could see it. The sight of his younger self in the horrific leather costume was enough to reduce Makarov to tears. What had he been thinking back then?

Mirajane stepped back from the microphone and threw his card into the pile of smoldering ashes beside her. She walked over to Makarov and undid his bindings, looking smug. "So, Master, have you learned your lesson?"

"Yes," Makarov said, hanging his head. "I won't ever trick you guys ever again. You win, Mira. Now, if you would be so kind as to take that picture down..."

"Nope," Mirajane said with a devilish grin. "But I can get you a nice strong drink."

"Yes, that'll do," Makarov sighed, taking one last look at his guffawing fairies. "I think I'm going to need it."

The End!