I walked through the door to the Rec. room, humming softly and shuffling with a few files as I went, trying to remember where Mactavish said he'd be. I passed the green, felt table where the guys and I would usually play poker. A small flash caught my eye and I halted for a moment. "NOW!" Someone shouted. Next thing I knew, Meat had me in a headlock and Ghost was looming over me with a huge bucket of honey. "Surprise!" He grinned (I could only tell because the corners of his eyes wrinkled up), dumping the golden honey all over my head and shoulders.

"RUN!" Meat shrieked with laughter, releasing me and dashing out the door. Ghost followed, not even stopping to explain himself or to spare a moment to gloat.

So there I stood. I was soaked in the viscous liquid and absolutely FURIOUS! But what could I do? I couldn't follow them; someone would see me and deepen the wound in my ego. I also couldn't stand there; someone was bound to come in sometime. I sighed, wiping my eyes and trooping out into the corridor, resolute in my decision. Hey, if that was Ghost's anniversary present to me I sure as hell was going to have a better one for him; Revenge.

I ignored the snickering soldiers around me, merely smiling and winking cheekily when one wolf-whistled. Grizzly set his drink down when he spotted me, calling out, "Hey, honey!" This display of his deepest wit encouraged more chuckles. He grinned, cruelly continuing his escapade. "Why don't you stop for a moment, sweet thing?"

I ignored him, gritting my teeth and reminding myself that violent removal of Ghost's 'area' would put a bit of a damper on our relationship. I trekked the rest of my way to my room and cleaned up, already planning my own boyfriend's demise. I would need Archer, Toad, and Scarecrow on my side. Ghost already had Meat in his clutches. Probably Ozone and Mactavish were siding with him too.

That was okay. Meat had plenty I could use against him, Mactavish obviously has a limit to his genius, and Ozone never was one for pranks. Ghost would be a problem though, I reminded myself as I pulled on a clean tank top. He was a crafty devil, I'd give him that much. That coupled with the fact that he knew a few of my very limited phobias gave him the upper hand.

Some one-year anniversary this was turning out to be.

With the sticky honey finally washed from my hair and having donned a white tank top and khaki shorts (that I admit were a little TOO short) I trooped into the hallway again. I found Toad first, who just HAD to make a comment on my attire. "Ow-OWWWW!" He howled, smirking wildly. "Someone dressed up today. Nice scars, by the way."

"Ha. Ha." I rolled my eyes. "Drop the act, Toad, we all know you have your eye on Worm."

Toad placed a hand over his heart. "You wound me, Gadget, truly you do. Stop it before I break down and cry."

I chuckled and patted his shoulder. "Your secret is safe with me if you side with me in a prank war."

Now I had his full attention, "Go on."

"Ghost and Meat double teamed me this morning. I didn't stand a chance against two of them. I have a plan for revenge, but I need your help."

"My curiosity is peaked, but I still don't see any gain in it for me."

"As I recall, Meat got you pretty good during training last week," I lean against the wall and examine my nails, totally consumed in the war charade. "You looked like a fool in front of everyone…including Worm."

"Drop the Worm jokes and you got a deal." He spit a logy into his palm and held out his hand. "Deal?"

I mimicked the action and shook ecstatically.

"Deal."

Ghost was alone in the hallway leading towards Mactavish's office when I decided to deploy Phase one. Toad fell in behind me, a good distance back to make the solid impression that we weren't going to the same place. "Hey, Ghost, where are you off to?" I asked, deliberately stopping in front of him while Toad continued on, walking at an angle to get behind him. It appeared that he continued on down the hallway, but instead stopped a few feet away. He waited just around the corner, preparing himself for attack.

"Hey, honey," He teased, "You look better than you did before." His eyes trailed up my less-than-normally-clothed body.

"Yeah, well," I stepped closer to him, acting like we were alone. "There are…reasons for that."

"Oh?" He shifted, getting closer too. "And, what would that be?"

Toad, who was probably beyond creeped out by that point, knelt down and prepared his gun, aiming for center mass.

"Well…After the incident earlier, I got to thinking what day it is." I let my lips get dangerously close to his, which are concealed by his mask.

He was clearly thinking the way I wanted him to. "And—" He swallowed, nervous hands suddenly looking for something to do with a clipboard he was carrying. "What…day is…that?" His coyness was slipping. Perfect.

I dropped my voice to a whisper. "Judgment day."

I ducked to the side and Toad unleashed the first volley of water from his huge squirt gun. Ghost, baffled by the sudden onslaught, was trapped between us. I grabbed my own water gun from around the corner and took aim. "Surprise!" I cackled, Toad joining in my laughter. Ghost was completely and utterly soaked with pink and purple dye by the time we finished, ruining his white shirt and jeans.

As we made our getaway he finally found his voice. "This. Means. WAR!"

%$^&&%^#$%#$%#%&^$%&

Toad and I sat down for a shot-a-piece, celebrating a 100% successful attack on Ghost. He was hooting with laughter and filling another glass when he brought it up. "What I don't understand is how you got him so flabbergasted over you in the first place."

I quickly and seamlessly made an excuse. "A woman's charm will work on anyone in this base. I don't usually resort to it," I grinned, downing another shot and savoring the burn. I wasn't really a drinker but it was a special occasion after all. "This was important. I don't just let someone dump honey all over my head and get away with it." After a moment's thought I added, "You would've been equally flabbergasted."

"What about his last words?" Toad asked, reclining in his metal folding chair and ignoring my last bit. "You know there will be a retaliation after that."

"Obviously. The only real question is how long we'll have to wait for it."

"Not long, I'm sure. The day is young after all. He has a good ten hours before lights out." He leans the chair back on two legs. "Meanwhile, let's talk."

I cross my legs and fold my hands in my lap, listening intently. "Go on."

"Well, strategically we could handle Ghost and Meat with just the two of us. BUT," Toad leaned forward meaningfully; "With Ghost on his way to Mactavish's office when we ambushed him there is the possibility of them getting the Captain onto his side. After all, Ghost is Mactavish's right hand man."

"We could handle Ghost, why not Mactavish?"

"Mactavish is in a league of his own when it comes to pranks, Gadget, he'd gotten all of us during the last real war." Toad fiddled with his empty glass, clearly considering filling it again and downing the whole thing. "Prank war that is," He opted to leave it alone though and set the glass aside.

"I hadn't realized the captain did this kind of thing…what are you suggesting?"

"A few…new recruits."

_-=-=-2=45-28458274592345jrijwr$%#$^%#

Toad and I walked quickly, wanting to get to Archer's room before Ghost had a chance to organize any real retaliation.

"How fast do you think they're operating?" Toad asked, keeping his voice low.

We turned the corner at full gait. I glanced over my shoulder, "If they haven't gotten us yet I'd say they're still planning."

"You sure? I mean it only took us about two minutes to organize…then a few more to locate target G-man and—"

"NOW!" In a flash Meat burst out of the door we were walking by, armed with a glue bottle in each hand.

"RUN!" Toad yelps, taking off as fast as he could go. I tear off after him, matching his stride, then sl-ow-ly passing him up.

"GO-GO-GO!" I yell, desperation sinking into my voice. Meat was falling far behind us, but his teammates could've been anywhere!

"Gadget!"

I turned my head to see why Toad was shouting but I crashed into a hard body…

I crumpled to the floor. "Jus' not your lucky day, eh Lass?"

"Oh, no." I whispered, peeking up. Mactavish loomed over me, grinning evilly, with his own two bottles of glue. "You don't have to do this 'Tavish."

He shrugged. "Defending my name is all. It's just a part of the game, lass. Nothing personal."

"Right." I sighed. Then I deftly tried to scrabble away, pulling myself backwards. But Ghost obstructed my path.

"Goin' somewhere?"

Then glue was raining down on me, coating my tank top and shorts and skin and hair. Toad came running, already coated in glue, with Meat close behind him…holding a pillow.

"TOAD!" I shrieked.

He turned just in time to see a massive amount of feathers falling on him. I opened my mouth to curse the three men, but they'd already dumped a pillows-worth of them on me!

"Like the dear captain said, Gadge." Ghost beamed, lifting out a camera from his pocket. "It's just a part of the game."

Meat had caught Toad and wrestled him over to where I was on the floor. Ghost snapped a picture, and they all tore off down the hallway.

Toad and I simply turned to each other, nodded, and continued on to Archer's room.

I knocked, waiting for a reply patiently. When it came it was coupled with a "Holy shit, not again."

"Well hello to you too." I grumbled and pushed by him.

"Toad…WHAT did I tell you about getting me involved in these stupid prank wars?"

"It was HER idea!" Toad pointed at me.

I rolled my eyes. "You two finished?"

They both looked at me, then at each other, then back at me, "Yeah, we're done."

"Good then. I was about to knock your heads together." I snickered at their off-put expressions. "Anyways, down to business." I plopped down on Archer's bunk.

"No, no, no, NO!" He shooed me off angrily. "You're still covered in wet glue!"

I stuck my tongue out. "So now you need revenge on Ghost and Meat for starting this mess."

Archer frowned, working the logic through his head. "Thrusting the world, excuse me, the entire base into another war…" He walked over to his window, leaning over to glare out between the slats in the blinds. "In the last war I was playing it safe for the first week…"

"Week?" I gasped.

"Yeah…week." Toad chimed in. "The whole thing lasted three weeks."

I whistled lowly. Archer didn't move from the window. "I was safe. Those involved left me alone and I stayed out of it."

"What changed?" I asked, immersed in the tales of a war long past.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Worm and Ozone got nailed to a wall, literally, by a couple of guys from another squad. I was out of my room late that night. It was after lights out and the poor souls were nailed by their jean-legs and t-shirts…I couldn't just walk away…"

Toad sighed. "Worm was a mess. He told me about that. He's never been quite the same around Ozone. They don't talk much."

"I can't blame them. When I found them they were scarred for life. I couldn't leave them…" He paused, hesitant to go on. "So I unknowingly joined the war by releasing them. The next day I was jumped. Honey."

I jerked my head up to look at him.

"I didn't see them and I don't know who it was. But I wanted…I needed to get revenge. I walked around in front of the team for two HOURS with honey soaking through my clothes! How could I NOT get involved?"

He began to pace. Wringing his hands and muttering, it almost seemed like Archer was in another world now, with no IDEA we were still in the room.

"It was wrong, I knew it was wrong, and against protocol. But, I couldn't just leave it alone…WHY couldn't I have just LEFT it?"

"Because that isn't who you were Archer." I spoke up. As he turned to look at me I stood and put a hand on his shoulder. "You wouldn't give up your reputation that easily. You fought for your beliefs."

He sighed, still not wanting to believe me. "I did some bad things."

"And it isn't who you are now."

For a moment we all remained silent. Then, Archer slowly lifted his palm and hocked a nice juicy one. Toad and I grinned and did the same, slapping our hands together in the same moment.

"No matter what. We're together on this one." Toad beamed. "…Right?"

"Absolutely right." I grinned cheekily and saluted them.

We parted ways to clean up.

I stepped into the shower stall and tossed my glue-and-feather-covered-clothes over the curtain. The water was warm and I could hardly believe that it was my third shower of the day. I shampooed my hair, humming in satisfaction as I washed the glue and wet feathers off. I let the hot water run over my skin, thinking absent-mindedly about how I would get back at them for this one. With Archer on my side more possibilities came up. His stealth rivaled Ghost's and it would be easy for the two of us to orchestrate a surprise attack on the others.

I shut the water off and reached for my towel. My fingers met the cool tile floor. I felt around for the fluffy material for a few more moments before it dawned on me. They had STOLEN my towel! I poked my head out of the shower curtain. Sure enough, my towel was neatly folded…all the way on the opposite side of the room. My clothes were there as well (bra and underwear on top). The main door to the showers was propped, wide open, for everyone to see.

I groaned. Of course, of COURSE this is when they'd get me. The glue and feathers was just the beginning of an elaborate prank. I pulled back into the confines of the tiled shower. I considered my options. Option number one was to march across the room, in all my glory, snatch up my towel and dry off. Option number two was to sit in the shower until they got bored and gave up. As if.

THEN! I got the genius idea of all genius ideas. The curtain! The shower curtain was a solid white. I reached up and undid all of the rings, pulled the plastic around me, and walked across the washroom with all confidence and pride intact. There were a few disappointed groans from Meat and Ghost, who had a camera with them.

"Sorry boys," I beamed cheekily. "Next time, think about your prank completely." I snatched my clothes and towel, making a point of examining the bra. "Oh, and, SURPRISE!" I grabbed my handy dandy paintball gun from beneath the bench and aimed it at them.

"RUN!" Ghost shouted and took off.

Meat shirt was splattered with bright pink paint before he was out of range.

What a fun anniversary THIS is turning out to be.

I slammed the shower room door shut and grumbled to myself, beyond pissed that my shower-time was so rudely interrupted. I dried off and pulled on my clothes before slowly peeking my head out of the room—still armed with my paintball gun—and made sure the coast was clear. Then I took off, full speed, not wanting to be seen in glue covered, feathered shorts and tiny tank top.

Once safely in my room I slammed and bolted it behind me. I sighed in relief and leaned my head against the door. And then I froze. I could smell cigarette smoke.

"Hello, star-shine."

I whirled around in alarm to find Ghost, sitting on my dresser, feet up on my bed, with a cigarette resting between his lips. His mask is lying on the dresser next to him. Smoke swirled around his face, which is alight with a dangerous kind of excitement, and clouded my vision of him.

"Your hair's still wet." He said lowly, as if it were a comment on the weather.

It took me a moment to retaliate, but my comeback was genius. "Get out of my room."

He scoffed and taps his cigarette into an empty coffee mug I left on my floor this morning. "Is that all you have for me? Even after all the talk earlier about what day it is?"

I fought a warm blush that was creeping across my cheeks. "What's your game, Ghost? I already used the seduction trick earlier."

He sighed, flicked the remains of the cancer stick away, and approached me. "No game."

"You started a new war. There has to be some kind of angle, some kind of motive."

He grinned. "Originally, it was to get us some…alone time. With the guys busy playing they wouldn't be any time to look for us without fear of giving up the war."

"Originally?" I repeated.

Ghost's lips were dangerously close to mine, his hands on the curve of my hips, breath brushing my cheeks. I couldn't help but bite my lip. "Originally. But now, it's your anniversary present. It's better than the one I had for you anyways. You're enjoying yourself more than you have in a while. You're having fun."

I swallowed, trying to ignore that his nose was nearly touching mine and my body was increasingly close to his. "Having fun kicking your ass."

And that was it. He gave me a little kiss, turned on his heel, retrieved his pack of cigarettes, and left.

"This means war." I whispered to myself.

&*^*%$#$%##&^&()()

"He did what?" I shouted.

Toad sat, staring at his feet, a bright blush across his cheeks. "He did the same thing to me…only…he uh…succeeded."

"MACTAVISH GOT A PICTURE OF YOU STRUTTING COMPLETELY—"

"Shhhhh!" Toad pressed his hands against my mouth. "Please, Gadget, he's got the picture…Let's just move on."

"Is it…uh…" Archer was trying reallllyyyyy hard not to laugh. "Demeaning?" He couldn't control himself anymore and doubled over, shaking with his hysteric laughter.

"NO!" Toad yelled back. "It's perfectly fine!"

Archer continued to laugh. "Ar-are you sure? Because—hahah—because you seem like you have—hehe—a problem with people seeing it."

"GUYS!" I spoke up. They both snapped their heads towards me. I reclined on the couch. "This is exactly what they want. Alone…alone we're doomed. We won't make it a day in this war if we have teams bombarding us from all sides. We're all in it now. We have to stay together."

"Let's go talk to Ozone and Worm." Archer suggested, no longer laughing at poor Toad's misfortune. "They owe me their lives after all."

I stood, brushed off the front of my black t-shirt, and marched out the door. Toad and Archer followed close behind. I kept my stride quick, checking behind myself to make sure that they were behind me, several times. I was worried. This was getting serious fast.

It was only a few minutes before we reached the training fields, where Ozone had an assault rifle pressed into his shoulder. "Ozone." I said, my voice strong and resolute.

He sighed, as if he already knew what I had to say, set the gun down and turned to face me. "Yes, ma'am?"

I frowned. "Why the formality, Ozone? Ma'am?"

He ran a gloved hand through his hair. "Look, guys, I know what you're here about. Toad, man, I heard about the picture thing. I'm not interested in what you're selling."

I opened my mouth to argue. Archer laid his hand on my shoulder to silence me. I looked back at him and he nodded. I stepped back and watched. "Look, Ozone, think about the last time."

Ozone froze up.

"We couldn't stay out of it forever. We tried, we tried to stay neutral. But it didn't work, did it?"

Ozone didn't answer.

"You ended up nailed to a wall. I ended up soaked in honey during a training session." I bit my lip, remembering that I forgot to bring that little snippet of information up with Ghost. "We banded together and survived. Neutral ground doesn't exist in this war. Switzerland is gone."

"I'm not neutral." Ozone said quietly.

Toad gasped. "Wh-what do you mean?"

"I'm not neutral. Me and Worm, we teamed up at about 0900…with Ghost and that lot…"

"You…" I whispered. "You didn't really...did you?"

"I'm sorry, Gadget. They got to us first."

"So what?" Archer raves. "What about loyalty? What about bros?"

"I'm sorry mate, I'm no traitor. Not even in a war like this…so uh…" He paused, reaching for something on the table. "Catch."

He tossed a small canister and ran for the hills. We tried to dodge but the little thing hit the ground and POOF! We were all coated in the dust from the smoke grenade. It was a bright yellow that powdered our faces and stuck in my hair and all over our clothes.

I swore, throwing my fist in the air and shouting after Ozone. "You say you aren't a traitor, but look at what you've done!"

Archer grabbed my arm. "It's useless…"

I growled in frustration. "We can't give up." I looked at Archer and Toad's hopeless faces. "We can't give up! It's only day one. We won't go down in history as the team who didn't even last the first 24 hours."

"But we can't let it go on." Toad argued. "Last time there were casualties."

"People DIED?" I was horrified to say the least.

"What?" Toad frowned. "Oh! No, no, but there was this cute little squirrel…"

"Moving on." Archer urged.

"Oh, right," Toad nodded and waved a hand. "Anyways, if we let this go on…things will get ugly."

"We're talking about taking down two of the greatest soldiers in the world along with 3 of the scariest pranksters in the entire 141, maybe even the world." I grumbled. "Of course it will get ugly."

"Permission to organize the next prank." Archer chimed in excitedly.

"Are you sure, dude? We're talking about taking down two of your best friends and…"

"I've got my spotter and my fellow sniper." He grinned. "What more could I ever need?"

We all laughed and spit and high fived. We were bros, the best of bros, and even if we were pitted against our brothers in arms we would stay together.

What have I done? 0.o I've made a mockery of the war scenario and made it into the most intense prank war known to mankind.

Anyways, please review. I wrote this while I was sat up from surgery on my left leg. I'm bored, in pain, and itchy. Please, please, please, pleaseeeee review for me. I will love you forever.

There will be more chapters (possibly) especially since I actually LAUGHED writing this :D

I love you all.

EGR.