A/N: This story takes place immediately after my story "Realizations." You don't need to read that to understand what is going on here, but it is all basically one, continuous story. This will be a multi-chapter story that will carry us through ROTJ to see why Han was so confused at the end of the movie as to where he stood with Leia.

"Chewie, we're coming up on Sullust," Lando said from Han's pilot's chair. "Why don't you go make sure that those two are awake?"

Chewie roared an affirmative and headed toward Han's cabin. He was immensely grateful to have his cub back. First, because of his lifedebt, of course, but Han had become so much more than that to him over the years. He was his best friend. He didn't know what he'd do if he had lost him.

That, and he was getting tired of having to hang around with Lando all of the time. Not that he was a bad guy, he was just so… Lando.

He reached Han's cabin and leaned his head up near the door to see if he could hear anything. He wasn't really sure exactly what he was listening for, but when it came to Han Solo and a woman, you never could tell. Chewie almost laughed. Han had treated the princess very differently from any other woman who had ever been in his company. He could tell Han loved her long before the stubborn human was able to admit it himself.

Sensing that he wouldn't be intruding on anything, Chewie palmed the door open and found two sound asleep humans. He knew the princess had slept little while Han was missing; Chewie hadn't been able to sleep much himself. To see her there, so peacefully sleeping in Han's arms, it seemed unfair that they so quickly had to return to battle.

But life wasn't fair sometimes. He let out a gentle growl and saw Han's eyes flutter open. The princess remained still, her head resting on Han's arm. Han nodded, understanding that it was probably time to get up and Chewie left them alone in the room.

Han looked down at Leia, still asleep and pinning his arm to the pillow. He saw by the chrono that this latest "nap" had lasted six hours. They'd spent the better part of an entire day within an arm's reach of each other and they'd hardly even had a chance to talk.

Han knew their time was running out. They'd be at Sullust soon, back at war soon. There was no telling what might happen once they got there. He'd barely just been reunited with the woman he loved and there was a good chance they'd be separated fairly quickly once they made it back to the Alliance.

If I have anything to say about it, I'm never leaving her side.

He watched her sleeping, a serene expression on her face that he rarely got to see. He hated to have to wake her up, knowing what she'd been through, all at his expense. But time was going to run out whether he liked it or not, and after six months without a shower, it was probably about time he got cleaned up. And he was going to need that arm that Leia was using as a pillow no matter how badly he just wanted to lie there with her forever.

Slowly, he tried to slide his arm out from under her cheek without disturbing her, but almost immediately her eyes opened and she sleepily looked up at him.

"Sorry," he said. "Chewie just came in. We're almost there, and I figured it's about time I took a shower."

Leia looked just about as unhappy as he did that they'd be forced to leave the sanctuary of the bed. "Do you feel all right? Do you need any – "

She seemed to cut herself off, and he could tell she was a little embarrassed to offer to help him shower. He really, really wanted to take her up on that. But once he sat up, the dizziness he'd been feeling didn't seem to be there and he knew he'd be okay to hold himself upright.

Besides, he didn't want to be in a situation like that with her unless he felt he was fully ready to take advantage of it. Given his current state, who knew which parts of his body wouldn't be working entirely properly just yet.

The thought of making love to Leia had crossed his mind roughly seven hundred times a day from almost the moment he'd met her. Well, maybe not on the Death Star when she'd spent most of her time insulting him, but not long after that. At first it was just like it always might be with any attractive woman he'd come across. Hell, what guy wouldn't want to picture that kind of thing with the latest pretty lady he'd seen? Eventually, those fantasies had evolved. At first it was the usual, messing around in his cabin simply because there was time and it was surely a fun way to pass the time. Later he thought that maybe if he got her into bed, because he had decided she probably hadn't experienced it before, which was likely one of the reasons she was so uptight, she might finally loosen up a little bit and stop yelling at everyone so much – mainly him.

Later still it turned into sort of a possessive thing, like, dear gods don't let any of these grubby, over-eager pilots somehow talk her into bed and ruin the experience for her. If anyone was going to thaw the Ice Princess, it was going to be a real man. And the only real man not old enough to be her father in this crazy crusade was him.

Finally, that had evolved even further to something close to what he felt now. He didn't just want to get her to bed because he was damn sure that if he could finally break down that protective shield she had so carefully, annoyingly built up, underneath it all was a real, sensual woman who he wanted to get to know. No, he wanted to make love to her because he actually loved her. He wanted to make love to her to show her how much he loved her, take away any of the pain she'd gone through, show her how fulfilling life could actually be if she just for once tried to live it. It was naïve to think that he could convey all of that to her just with a romp in the sack, but he knew that with her it would be so much more than that.

He wanted it to be perfect, though. And right now, he couldn't guarantee it. Time was running out. They were headed back to war. One of them or both of them could easily not make it out of this one alive. They had managed so far, but how much longer would either of their luck hold out?

"I think I'll manage," he said. "Why don't you try and get a little more sleep. Not sure how much of that we're gonna get when we get to the rendezvous.

She shut her eyes against the pillow and replied, "I think it'll be a lot harder to sleep without you here next to me, but I'll give it a shot."

He leaned down and kissed her forehead and whispered, "I love you."

He saw her smile and that was all he needed. He didn't think he'd ever get tired of telling her that. He knew that he'd spend the rest of his life thinking it and saying it.

Once he made it into the shower, his skin tingled with the sensation of the water he'd been so long denied all those months. Leaning against the wall for support, he realized he felt weaker than he'd care to admit. Although his under-utilized stomach had been protesting, there was no denying the fact that he needed sustenance – bad.

He had already been informed that his first stop upon docking on Home One would be the medical ward. He had put up a fight and said that he didn't need it because hey, he was Han Solo and that was what was expected of him. But he couldn't very well spend the rest of the war leaning on Leia or Chewie in order to attempt to remain standing upright.

Once out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist and sank down to the floor to try and stop the dizziness running through his head. Head in hands, he thought to himself, Gods, this is irritating. These could be the last hours I get to spend with her and I can't even stand up straight to look her in the eyes.

He realized the water had been shut off for several minutes when Leia knocked at the door. "Han, are you all right in there?"

He took a deep breath and tried to sound convincing. "I'll just be another minute or two."

"Okay, just let me know if you need any help."

Gods, she probably thought he'd passed out. Suddenly he was the guy who couldn't be left alone in a room to shower by himself. This was all starting to get really annoying.

He got himself together and managed to stand up and go back into his cabin, finding a lovely princess sitting on the bed waiting for him. He smiled at her as he leaned up against the doorway, then became very aware of the fact that he was only wearing a towel. But Leia was doing a bad job of trying to hide the fact that she was eying him appreciatively, and suddenly he didn't mind so much.

"You should get dressed. Chewie said we'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Are you sure you want me to get dressed?" He said, suddenly finding the voice of that old, teasing rogue that somehow took longer to thaw after his body had been unfrozen.

"Well, I wouldn't mind, but there are going to be a lot of high-ranking military officials there and we're trying to improve their impression of you, not ruin it forever."

"What, you think I make a bad impression? I'm shocked."

"Yeah, well, you know that you aren't the kind of guy people tend to love right away."

"Nah, that would make things too easy. I prefer to make people think I'm worthless. That way, once they finally get to know me and see how great I am, it makes me seem that much better."

The teasing was fun and he had missed it. But all of this talk about military officials left him wondering. "Sweetheart, how did you get them to let you come after me? They couldn't have wanted to let you go off on some personal mission with so much else going on."

She seemed taken aback by the question, and she looked at her feet as she appeared to contemplate an answer. "It wasn't easy. They didn't like the idea of us running off to find just one person."

"So what did it, then? Was it because I owe some of the Rogues money from those late-night Sabacc games on Hoth?"

Leia looked at him and laughed, and he noted that he wished that she'd do that more often. He loved the sound of that laugh. "Nothing, really. I just told them that I was going to find you, and if they wanted to strip me of my rank or tell me never to come back, then that was their problem. But I wasn't going to lose you. I couldn't."

Gods, that woman was incredible. Her big, brown eyes looked at him longingly, and he wished more than anything that they could spend another two days locked right there in his cabin with her, but the proximity alarm sounded and broke the trance they were in, and Han didn't get a chance to tell her how much he appreciated what she'd done for him. All he had time for was to sit next to her, clasp her hands and lean in for the gentlest of kisses before he pulled back and said in his most sincere tone, "Thank you."

She smiled again. "No, thank you."

"For what?"

"For being alive when I found you. For loving me back."

"Leia, I –"

He was cut off by the sound of an annoyed Wookiee pounding on the door. [Time's up, cub! You two need to get out here!]

Han had so much left to say, but he didn't have the words to say it. Later, there had to be more time.

Leia stood up and walked towards the door. "I'll go tell him you'll be right there. And as much as I hate to say it," she said as her eyes scanned the length of his body and she gave him a little smirk, "you really should put some clothes on."

"Just tell me that someday there'll be more time for us to be alone."

"I promise that if the opportunity arises, we will make the time."

He smiled as he watched her go, then moved to put on some clean clothes.