The Haunted Ice Skating Rink

By RobertDogwood

FF VIII characters and locations are owned by SquareSoft.

Rated R for nudity

"Okay, ok - I know you've been asking me to tell ya about the haunted ice skating rink. But you gotta remember - this is just between you and me - okay? This can't go any further. Why, if this got out to that Balamb newspaper or that Shumi Village rag - I'd be in big trouble."

Well, like I already told you, after Squall filled in that unlucky swimming pool, Headmaster Cid decided to put in a ice skating rink on top of it. Why? I don't have the slightest idea - but I was never any good at trying to think like Cid. In fact, it makes my head hurt when I try.

Yep - you got it! As soon as they started building it, they began to experience serious problems with it. One day the temperature would become so cold, despite what the furnace would indicate, that no one could stand to be in there and work on it. Another day it would become so hot that all the ice would melt!

Well, after a few months they finally got it finished - and it looked great, by the way. It looked just like a real ice skating rink. It was completely enclosed with walls and a ceiling. It had a huge skating area with a waist high wooden wall built all the way around it. It had dressing rooms for men and women and even had piped in organ music. I don't know for sure where Headmaster Cid laid his hands on that. I have a sneaking suspicion though that Laguna found it for Cid in Esthar somewhere.

Of course if you had any sense, you could see this thing coming from a mile away. The ice skating rink began to experience the same kind of difficulties that the swimming pool had. Like I already mentioned - one day it would be so cold that no one could stand to be out on the ice and the next day it would be so hot all the ice would melt and there would be nothing but water left.

But even outside of those problems, there was constantly other things going wrong; the electricity became completely unpredictable - one never knew what to expect. The entire skating rink could become plunged into darkness at any time, which could become deucedly inconvenient when coupled with all the ice melting because of the refrigeration shutting down.

Sometimes the showers only gave cold water suddenly or only hot - whichever the case might be. Other times the lockers would jam shut and people would have to return to the main part of the Garden dressed in their skating outsits, which was often worth a laugh or two - depending on who it was and what kind of ourfit they were wearing. And sometimes, worse of all - the doors to the locker rooms and to the outside of the rink would mysteriously lock themselves.

But it was on a Friday evening a couple of months ago that all hell finally broke loose. Selphie and I decided to go down after dinner and do some ice skating. It was really a rather romantic place or could be - depending on who was there and so forth. If you could get the lights dimmed and then some romantic music on low and not many people there, a young woman could become putty in your hands, if you had the right moves.

But just my luck - when we get down to the skating rink, I observed that there were already way too many people present for any romance to take place that night.

"Who was there? Well, let's see - of course, Rinny was there. Quistis was there too. Oh yeah, Zell and that Library girl were there, along with Ai and Kasumi - you remember Ai and Kasumi? Haha! That's right - that was them. Oh, you won't believe it when I tell you what happened to them - it's even better this time if that's possible. Oh yeah - how can I forget? Mishima was there, Kristen - that new girl from out west was there, along with Nida also."

Well, I think that was everybody who was there that evening - but you can surely see that there were far too many people present for me to attempt to put any kind of romantic moves on Selphie.

Anyway, the evening got off to a roaring start a few minutes later. You remember when I initially told you about the swimming pool? And those two young women SeeDs, Ai and Kasumi? Well, surprisingly - at least to me, - those events that happened to them during that evening of horror at the swimming pool solidified their friendship and they have been thick as thieves ever since. Why, they're even closer than those two young women SeeDs, who just got promoted to instructors. You know 'em, I just can't think of their names right now. Oh yeah, you're right - Kristine and Nicole. They're even closer than Kristine and Nicole.

But there's something else you need to understand. They might have considered each other to be their best friend, but they were still in direct competition at all times. Now, do you remember what I told you about them? Ai is the knockout blonde lady - about five foot, six, long blonde hair and built! Hyne! Real big - well, you know - and a narrow little waist and beautiful hips. And she was wearing a very stylish blue and white skating outfit with an extremely short skirt, which showed off her long beautiful legs to good advantage. Plus she made sure she did a lot of spins and turns throwing that short skirt up near her waist and showing off that she was only wearing a thong beneath the outfit, rather than one of those skating shorts, which are part of the skirt. Hyne! I hate those things. I'd rather they didn't wear anything at all than one of those things. Haha! I'm sorry - I didn't mean it like that. I just meant - oh, never mind. It isn't important.

Anyway, that's what Ai was wearing and people saw fit later, after the fact, to proclaim that Ai's outfit was claiming most of the attention and that Kasumi was burning with jealousy. I was there and I don't remember it that way at all - but maybe I'm mistaken. I'm not right all the time, you know. At least that's what Selphie tells me.

Anyway, Kasumi is the short, but perfectly proportioned, black-haired beauty and she was wearing the same sort of outfit, but red in color. Kasumi usually dressed in red. Well, anyway somehow when Kasumi came skating by Ai, the young blonde woman's skirt and panties just disappeared into thin air!

Great Hyne! All hell broke out then of course. Ai standing there totally nude below the waist except for her ice skates. And I'll tell you something else - not only is Ai a beautiful young woman, she's a natural blonde!

Now I know that a lotta people said that Kasumi somehow ripped Ai's skirt and panties off, but it's not true. I was there - I should know. I saw the whole thing - half of her outfit just sorta disappeared into thin air, although I will tell you this. I observed some kind of disembodied figure hoving around Ai, just before Kasumi skated by.

Anyway, Ai herself absolved Kasumi of any guilt. And I think she would know best what happened - don't you?

Anyway, I'm sorry, but it was kind of funny. In the confusion, Ai had fallen onto the rink. Naturally enough she kept attempting to regain her feet, but in her near hysteria concerning her half naked condition, she continued to fall back down on the ice. This finally happened enough times that some nasty looking bruises began to form on her beautiful posterior. I offered to rub some rubbing alcohol on her to help with the bruises and the pain associated with such, but she admanantly turned me down. Some people! You can't even be nice to them!

Kasumi finally took pity on her best friend and she glided over to help her up. You know - the way those people who can really skate well can just glide over somewhere with both of their skates in a straight line? Well, that's what Kasumi did - but at the last second, something went wrong and her toe pick got caught early and instead of just snapping to a complete stop, Kasumi went flying through the air over Ai and eventually landed right on top of her knocking all of the air out of her fabulous body. But that isn't the wild thing - the really bizarre thing was when Kasumi was flying parallel over Ai, her entire outfit just disappeared into thin air, underwear and all including her ice skates. I know - I was standing right there and I saw everything disappear, but again - there seemed to be some sort of disembodied being present, but I couldn't tell you what.

Anyway, this turned out to be kinda embarrassing to the two young women, as Kasumi was lying completely nude on top of the half naked Ai and I actually think I saw a little bit of action there for a minute, but Selphie told me it was just wishful thinking on my part. I quickly knelt down and helped Kasumi up off Ai. And, by the way, there is absolutely no truth to the rumor that I had my hands all over Kasumi. I wouldn't do that - I have a little class, you know. Now maybe, I did slip a couple of times when I was helping her up, but those were accidents and nobody can prove they weren't.

And anyway Selphie was right there and you think she wouldn't have been hitting me a good one, if I had been doing that to Kasumi? Well, yeah that is true - Selphie did whack me a couple of good ones, but those were all misunderstandings.

So when we finally got Kasumi off Ai, I saw that the rest of Ai's outfit had now disappeared too. Since I was frightened that Ai wasn't breathing, I thought maybe I should offer some CPR; you know where you stimulate a person's heart and lungs and then you give mouth to mouth. I was all set up too - you know, I had my ear resting on her breast - I mean chest - to hear if her heart was beating. What? You're not supposed to do that? Are you certain?

Well, it was a simple mistake on my part. The next thing I made a mistake with was completely understandable too. I thought I was supposed to give her a heart massage - well, it was a natural mistake. And you must know where the heart would lie? That's all I was doing when Selphie just laid into me unfairly. I was trying to massage her heart to get it started. How was I to know it was already going?

After that, Selphie made me give my long cattleman's coat to Ai and my cowboy shirt to Kasumi. Hyne! That griped my behind. I mean, it isn't that I wanted to look at them naked all evening. What kind of a pervert do you think I am? Wait - don't answer that. I don't want to know. Anyway, I didn't want to give my coat and shirt up, because of how cold it was in there. As a matter of fact, it got cooler and cooler in there as the evening wore on and my goose bumps began getting goose bumps, if you know what I mean.

Well, things calmed down a little after that, although when Ai and Kasumi attempted to enter the locker rooms, they discovered the doors to be locked - naturally. Really - all of this was really beginning to be old hat to me, although that disembodied being was a new twist and it did worry me a little.

A few minutes later when Mishima - yes, she was there - ok, ok, calm down right now! Yes, she was wearing her usual outfit - the extremely, short black skirt with the suspenders and white mid-riff blouse. Anyway, like I was saying, a few minutes later Mishima was mock fighting with Kristen. You remember Kristen from the time we were attacked by the cloth-eating moths? She's the new SeeD from somewhere out west, who's built like a brick - ah, never mind. You know what I mean.

Anyway Kristen fights with a sword in the Kendo tradition - which is cool, because we've never had anybody, who could fight in the Kendo school - and she is good - let me tell you. Well, she and Mishima were mock fighting on ice skates - if you can imagine such a thing.

It was quite a challenge. I will give them that. But I think it turned out to be too difficult - even for physical geniuses, such as themselves, because after only a few minutes they both tumbled backwards on to the ice.

Well, before they could get up off the ice, something weird started happening again. That disembodied form began flying around them and where ever it flew the ice would thaw and then immediately refreeze capturing in it anything that was resting on it. I guess you see where this is headed - yep, that's right.

Mishima and Kristen were sitting on the ice, but when they went to rise to their feet, they were completely stuck fast. Well, Mishima started yelling to beat the band, but Kristen stayed real cool - sorry about the pun - and began to remove the special armor she had been wearing. But what was really bizarre was that no matter how much armor Kristen removed, the next piece was stuck just as badly onto the ice - which of course is impossible.

Finally Mishima just bit the bullet so to speak and she used every bit of her strength to stand up and wrest herself from the control of the now almost living ice. When she did finally manage to regain her feet, she lost every bit of her outfit that was touching the ice and the first layer of skin too - yow! That must have smarted a little. Well anyway, she still had clothes on, but not for long. The entire back of her clothing was now gone. How long do you suppose the front part stayed on - particularly that little bit she usually wears?

That's right - Ha! ha! About five seconds! With no back, her blouse, skirt, and panties just seem to fall away and great Hyne! She is one incredibly built.....person, I believe the correct thing to say is. Well, naturally enough, the same thing basically happened with Kristen too. Even though she originally had all that armor on, she had to take it all off, because it was keeping her stuck to the ice. Piece by piece of armor, such as, - the uwagi and the hakama - had to be removed by her, until all she was wearing was some kind of white cotton pull over blouse and pants with a drawstring.

I have to say this for her. Instead of tugging and fighting and losing all her clothes anyway, she just casually slid her draw string pants and underwear down and off. Hyne! I loved that! Then she pulled her blouse over her head exposing those huge breasts - I mean - she made Mishima look like she was still buying clothes out of the kid's department.

So you know what happened next? I had to give my trousers to Kristen, who was several inches taller than Mishima leaving me shivering im my red bikini briefs and my cowboy boots. Mishima? Oh, yeah. I gave her my cowboy hat. What? Don't be stupid! How would my hat fit there? She wore it on her head. That's right - Ha! ha! I think Mishima had an affinity for a cowboy outfit, but I never saw her wear one.

So the women led by Rinny prevailed upon Zell that he should give up some of his apparel for the poor, starving underdressed SeeD women present. I have to hand it to Zell. He just went ahead and gave up the fight early on. He knew there was no way around it.

Zell ended up wearing just his jock strap while Kristen got Zell's shirt, which she put to good advantage and Mishima got his shorts and then she just held her hands over - you know. What? Her eyes?! What kind of heavy medication are you on? No, as a matter of fact it appeared that she kinda enjoyed seeing Zell in his jock strap. I don't know what that's all about, but I do know that they were sent on some kinda mission together a while back.

The Library girl didn't know - pardon my Galbadian - whether to shit or go blind. I mean, she would purposely look away from Zell for awhile and then I guess she couldn't stand it and she would have to stare at him for awhile until he looked up at her and then she would look away again. Anyway, it was hysterical.

Things calmed down a little for awhile, although it kept getting colder and colder. And then here we go again! Quistis was skating near the other end of the rink, when suddenly the ice shattered for no reason that I could see, although thinking back I swear I remember seeing one of those disembodied freaks flying around Quistis.

She went straight down into the icy water and let me tell you - it was quite the show. You know how it is when ice shatters. How you can't get too near it or it will continue to break away throwing anyone in its path into the icy water?

Naturally Rinny took charge immediately and she whipped off that long blue vest thing she wears - yes, she even wears it ice skating. I wouldn't be surprised if she wore it in the shower. I'm sure she wears it to bed - ahem, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go there. Anyway, she plops down on the ice and throws that vest out towards Quistis, who didn't waste any time grabbing on to it. There's not a doubt in my mind that Rin saved Quistis' life that night - if it weren't for her, by the time anyone else had thought what to do, Quistis would have sunk beneath the ice.

As it was, everybody had to throw themselves down to the ice, as quickly as possible, one behind the other and hang on to form a human chain to pull Quistis out. As soon as the beautiful instructor was yanked out of the icy cold water, it was obvious that she had gone into shock and could die, if someone didn't do something. She appeared ash-white as her normally beautiful complexion was drained completely. Her respiration was quite rapid and Quistis appeared to be suffering from hypothermia.

Imagine my surprise and shock when Rinoa quickly removed every stitch of the blonde instructor's skating outfit and told us all to rub her body as quickly as possible. Now that was a duty I could get into, yes sir! And whatever Quistis says I was rubbing when she regained her consciousness is a lie - I was only rubbing the inside of her thigh. I mean, how is she to be so certain? She was unconscious - right?

Of course Quistis was somewhat embarrassed when she came around to discover everyone rubbing on her nude body, but I will say this for her - she immediately realized that people had saved her life and she thanked everyone graciously.

I guess you know what happened next - that's right - Rin made Nida give up his pants and shirt for Quistis. And he had to stand around in these huge ridiculous red and white boxers with little hearts on them, but at that he was more covered than me or Zell.

Unlike the evening of the swimming pool debacle, no one came down to rescue us. It was my later understanding that Squall was gone from the Garden overnight and I guess no one else particularly missed any of us until the next day.

The next thing was that the temperature began to arise in leaps and bounds. I didn't understand at the time and later the F.H. technicians agreed that there was no mehcnical reason for it to have become so hot that the entire ice skating rink melted. And the temperature kept on climbing!

Then four of these disembodied figures came out and were floating through everyone rather menacingly and acting rather intimidating. They had begun to resemble thin Norgs, but I don't know - it could have just been a coincidence. The temperature was soaring now. It was above 80 degrees centigrade and it was becoming pretty scary. I mean this could get life threatening. People were intensely perspiring and a person could get their electrolyte balance all out of wack easily.

Finally everyone present began to resemble a ripe tomato and at that point Rinny took charge. She told everyone in no uncertain terms that modesty was certainly fine in its place, but it had no place in a life or death situation and she, for one, was not going to die down there waiting until somebody came along to rescue them.

Rin started the ball rolling by quickly disrobing herself of all the attire she was wearing and, by Hyne, she stood so beautiful that night - not only by her physical attributes, although they are certainly immense - but also by her courage and intestinal fortitude in not giving in to that terrible situation.

So pretty soon everybody had stripped down and gotten into the water that was all that remained of the ice skating rink. Mishima of course stripped down first; it seeming that displaying her body in its natural state is her primary wont. But fairly soon after that, everybody had removed their clothing.

So then on top of everything else, the electricity suddenly went out - which in one way turned out be pretty good because nobody could see those freaks floating around them anymore. And, of course, in another way it was pretty good too, but I just couldn't seem to catch up to anybody and get my hands on 'em.

Wait! I didn't mean like that! I meant in order to comfort them - really. Well, it was a long night for me, but I heard some sounds that indicated that some people had a fairly good time, but I don't wish to get into that.

We were finally rescued early in the morning. Quistis had a breakfast appointment with Xu and when she couldn't locate her and couldn't find anyone who had seen her from the night before, she began to backtrack until the trail followed down to the ice skating rink.

Of course, Xu couldn't bust in there on her own and by the time the smoke had cleared, there was a ton of SeeDs and upper-classmen plus Headmaster Cid to witness our wet, bedraggled, totally nude, ignominious exit from all that was left of the ice skating rink.

Well, it was all over but the shouting, except I noticed that Xu just couldn't seem to keep her eyes off Zell. I think she was really attracted to me. I could tell by the way she was acting toward me, but she didn't make her move then because she didn't want to irritate Selphie.

Of course Headmaster Cid was completely nonplussed and didn't know how to respond, but I heard that by a day or two later, he had decided that he wanted to build a basketball court next. You just never know what's gonna happen around here!

The End

Thanks to Kristen Gupton-Williams for her usual expert medical information.