I had the idea for this story last night. I hope no one else has done this before. I don't think so. c: Anyway, I hope you like this first chapter. And yes, there will be Channy in every chapter. There might be just a hint of it, or maybe there'll be a lot. But it'll be there. So enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Sonny with a Chance.

Hey, there. I'm Chad Dylan Cooper. Yes, the one and only CDC. You may have heard of me before. Who hasn't heard of moi? I'm the greatest actor of my generation, the winner of more than eight Tween Choice awards, star of television's most popular tween show, Mackenzie Falls. Not to mention I know everything there is to know about anything. When you're the hottest celebrity, you kind of have to know everything.

What, you think I'm joking? Tsk. I pity you and your undersized brain.

If you want proof of my superior knowledge, then go ahead and give me some random topic to inform you about with my supreme Chadness. It can be about anything, anything at all. Pinatas, water balloons, go carts, I don't care. If I think your topic is worthy of the Chadness of Chad Dylan Cooper, then I will use it on my little... hmm, what could you call it? A blog? Well, it's not really a blog, I guess.

Let's just call it my Chadly Wisdom Center. It's got a nice ring to it, huh?

So go ahead. Give me any topic. I dare you.

Sorry, scratch that. Don't give me any topic related to Sonny Munroe. Who is she, you ask? Oh, just some diva from this stupid rival show of ours. She doesn't matter, it's only me that matters. Besides, Sonny Munroe doesn't fall under the catergory of 'Anything and Everything'. She's under the category of 'Something', a.k.a. Something That Continues to Baffle Me No Matter What I Do.

Just forget about her, ok? She's completely nuts.

Which brings us to my first topic of the day.

Chad Dylan Cooper On Nuts

Nuts. Ew. I hate nuts. I mean, first off, you can barely even open the shells of the stuff, and you have the use some dumb nutcracker to do it for you. You ever seen a nutcracker? Lemme tell you, they're disturbing. I wouldn't want some wooden little man putting his teeth all over my nut. It's just sick.

And besides, nuts aren't good for you. Do you know how many people are allergic to nuts in this world? You could be next to fall to the deadliness of the evil nut.

Hey, don't say I didn't warn you.

Oh, yes, and they're gross. Trust me.

But there's another problem with nuts, too. I have to like them, even though I don't like them.

Confused? I'm sure you are.

A few weeks ago, the Randoms (the idiots from the dumb rival show I mention earlier) were selling cookies for the little weird girl's Blossom Scout thing. Two of the Randoms, weird girl and Sonny (the diva I mentioned) were handing out a few samples in the cafeteria, and as I passed by I suddenly felt like buying some cookies. Not to help them out, of course. Please! Chad Dylan Cooper doesn't help losers. I just rub it in their face about how rich I am.

So I walked over to the table they were at and gave Sonny an irresistably charming smile. "Hey, there. Think you can give the greatest actor of our generation a free cookie?"

Across from her, the weird girl, Zora, scowled at me. "Don't fall for it, Sonny, he's trying to stop us from raising money again." Oh, please. I only did that because the daughter of my boss made me do it. I would've gotten fired otherwise. I can't believe they still aren't over that.

Sonny glanced over at Zora, then smiled brightly at me. There's one thing I know about Sonny Munroe: She's usually always happy. I'm serious, the girl just can't stop smiling. It gets annoying after a while. Though I have to admit, it's kind of cute...

Did I just say cute? I meant to say... odd. Or disturbingly distracting. Something like that. Look, just forget it.

Anyway, she said, "Well, I can give you one sample. But then you'll have to buy a box." She waved one of the said boxes in the air and informed me eagerly, "You won't believe how much money we earned today! And we're going to donate it all to charity - "

I decided to annoy her and made a face. "Charity? Ew. Never mind, I don't want any of your cookies."

My annoyance tactic worked. She frowned. Remember I said she can't stop smiling? I take that back. She occasionally does stop smiling. Around me.

If I can make the exploding ball of sunshine quit being so sunny, that just proves how awesome I really am.

"Look, Cooper, if you don't want cookies, then please leave," she told me bluntly. "There are more customers waiting in line."

I looked behind me. The cafeteria was pretty much empty, and there was no line behind me. Even the little weird girl had made off with the money she'd earned while I was chatting with Miss Perkyface over here. "No, there isn't."

She raised her hands in frustration. "Well, there would be if you'd stop wasting my time!"

"Look, I'll buy a cookie, ok!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

We glared at each other for a minute, then she handed me a cookie. "Eat it!"

"I will!" I retorted back angrily before popping it into my mouth and chewing. "There, you see? I'm eating it - "

That's when when the disgusting flavor reached my tastebuds. There were nuts in the cookie. Nuts. OH, HELL NO.

I spat out the cookie on the floor. "Oh, gross! Ew! That's disgusting!" I grabbed a napkin off of the table and proceeded to wipe my tongue, trying to get rid of the taste. Sonny stared at me. I could tell she was trying hard not to laugh. "Did you like it?" she asked innocently.

I glared at her. "You were trying to poison me, weren't you! You know what, there is no way I'm buying cookies from you!"

She scoffed. "Chad, don't be such a baby. There's no poison in there, just..." She picked up a box of cookies and glanced at it, then finished, "...nuts." She glanced up at me and smiled. "You don't like nuts, Chad?"

I didn't answer her. No need to give her the satisfaction.

I guess she took my answer as a yes, because she nodded sympathetically and went on, "It's ok, I don't like nuts either."

And now you see my problem. If Sonny Munroe didn't like nuts, then I had to like nuts.

What, you don't get it?

I dunno, it's just the way it works. My way of annoying her, I suppose. If she dislikes something, I have to like/love it. If she likes something, I have to dislike/hate it. She likes pizza? I dislike pizza. She dislikes The Terminator? I like the The Terminator.

She likes James Conroy? I HATE James Conroy.

Such is life.

So if she disliked nuts, then... well, you get the picture.

Therefore I said, "Psh! Please, Sonny, of course I like nuts. Real actors like nuts. I mean, I'm nutty about nuts." I smirked.

She raised an eyebrow. "Really, Chad? Really?"

I ignored her. "Besides, why in the world would you think that I don't like nuts?"

She crossed her arms. "Chad, you just spit the cookie out onto the floor and said it was disgusting."

"Well, the cookie dough tasted bad," I countered back smoothly. Man, I was good.

She snorted derisively. "Oh, yeah. Sure. You're so lying, Cooper."

"Am not!"

"Are to!"

"Am not!"

"Fine," she said, putting one hand on her hip and suddenly grinning slyly at me. My first thought when I saw her do that was, Uh oh, this isn't gonna be pretty.

"Prove it," she went on. "Eat a nut."

I scoffed. "I don't have to prove anything to a Random."

She leaned forward across the table. "I dare you."

I hadn't realized how close she'd gotten to my face. Had I been leaning downwards during our conversation/argument? Huh. Weird. Well, anyway. She'd done it now. She'd dared the Chad. Nobody dares the Chad except... well, except the Chad.

"Well, I would, Munroe, but you said I can only have one sample cookie, remember?" I said, grinning as the smile disappeared off her face. "So there's no way to prove that." I shook my head and chuckled. "Well, I'm going, then. Catch ya later." I winked at her, then started to walk away.

"Wait," came her voice from behind me. I sighed and turned. "What now?"

Her expression, which had been frustrated just a second ago, had now turned into that expression she always gets when she has an idea. She stood up on a table (what the heck was up with that?), cupped her hands around her mouth, and said loudly, "Attention, cafeteria people!"

The few people in the cafeteria looked over at the crazy girl standing on a table and stared at her blankly. Well, I couldn't blame them for being weirded out. Seriously, Sonny, you couldn't have just called for their attention on the floor like a normal person?

"Chad Dylan Cooper here says he likes nuts," she explained to the people. "I think he's lying. So we need a nut for him to eat to prove that he's nutty about nuts." She made quotation marks with her hands around the last three words. "Does anyone here have a nut we can borrow?"

Silence.

Her confidence seemed to ebb a bit. Haha. "Anyone at all?"

I smirked when nothing greeted her but silence. "Nice try, Munroe, but - "

"I have a peanut!" some random guy said. I glared at him, attempting to yell at him through mind speak that he should just shove the peanut up his... you know what, I'm not gonna finish that thought. Little kids might be reading this. Not very appropriate. Not that I care or anything.

Sonny smiled triumphantly at me, then turned her smile to the random dude. "Thank you, Jake!" she said, bouncing off the table (literally bouncing) and making her way over to the guy to get the stupid peanut.

I'm sorry, but how did she know his name? He doesn't work on her show. Does she like him? He's not even good looking! I still have to confront her about this.

She pranced back over to me and practically shoved the peanut in my face. "Here. Eat. Now."

"Wow, only one syllable words, Munroe? You're losing brain cells."

She frowned. "Chad..."

"Fine, I'll eat the stupid nut." I grabbed the peanut from her hand and looked at it. I could always just throw it back at her and then tuck and roll out of there. But then I'd seem like a chicken, and she'd come after me doing her stupid bawking thing. Therefore I popped it into my mouth and prepared for the worst.

It tasted... eh. Like, not gross, but still not very appetizing. I managed to swallow it down after a few chews, then smirked at her. "Hah! I won!"

Sonny looked like she didn't believe me. "Open your mouth."

"There's nothing in there. What, do you really think I'd pretend to eat it?" I asked, feigning shock.

"Yes."

I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth reluctantly. She peered at it, then sighed. "Well, Chad, I guess you were right. And I was wrong."

Ah, my favorite thing to hear. Of course I was right. "That wasn't so hard to admit, was it?"

She grimaced. "Whatever. Ok, well, I'm going to go back to selling the cookies. See you around, Chad."

I watched her as she headed back to her cookies, then walked after her and slapped a wad of money on the table. "Here."

She looked at it in surprise. "I thought you didn't want the cookies."

"Oh, I don't," I clarified.

She shook her head. "Chad, I can't take your money."

Oh, silly, stubborn Sonny. She really doesn't understand how Hollywood works.

"Just think of it as my donation to charity," I said, smiling at her.

She tentatively smiled back at me. "Wow. That's actually really nice of you."

"Yeah, I know," I said, popping my collar. "But don't expect it to happen too often. I have an image to protect you know."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Get out of here, Cooper."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Good."

"Fine."

"Fine."

We smiled at each other, and then I headed back to the Mackenzie Falls set.

So there you have it. I beat Sonny Munroe at her little game. And you know what? I didn't even have to eat a nut! Because a peanut isn't actually a nut, it's a legume! Yes, I actually knew that the whole time. No, I did not look it up on Google after that whole showdown...

So ha, Munroe! Ha ha HA!

Ahem.

Well, I hope you've learned a lot of things from my Chadly Wisdom Center today. I'll be back soon with more of my superior knowledge and info. And none of it will have to do with Sonny Munroe. At all. I swear.

Chad Dylan Cooper out. Peace out, suckas!

If anyone would like to suggest a topic for Chad to discuss, then feel free to do so in reviews. He may use it, he may not. It depends. You can't question what Chad Dylan Cooper does, y'know.

Anyway, if I could get at least two or three reviews, I'd really appreciate it. More than that would be awesome, too. :D Thanks!