Remus really should have been more excited to go back to Hogwarts for his 6th year. He had friends there. Friends who had found out about his furry little problem, he wasn't sure how to feel about it being called that, and were still his friends. Beyond that, they took a great risk and became unregistered animagi just to make full moons easier for him. It was really more than he felt he deserved or could have ever hoped for.

And yet, as he made his way through King's Cross Station, he did not feel excited. Anxiety twisted in his stomach.

He went through the barrier and heard Peter excitedly calling over to him, he looked over and saw the blond haired boy standing next to his other friends, who were laughing at Peter's excitement.

The sandy-haired boy went over to them, genuinely smiling to see them.

"Moony, great to see you!" James said, pulling Remus into a warm hug that the boy returned with a laugh. Quickly enough,

"Pete was starting to worry you wouldn't make it," Sirius added with a smirk, patting the boy's shoulder

Peter objected to this, "Only a little!"

James released Remus, turning to the smaller boy, "That's not how I remember it!"

Sirius took his turn hugging the newcomer, who stiffened into it and returned it awkwardly. This was why he was not looking forward to school this year.

Over the past few years he'd been wondering as his friends started noticing girls why he never had any interest in them the way they did. Towards the end of last year, he gradually realized that he was actually starting to notice Sirius that way. While he didn't necessarily feel this was why he hadn't noticed any girls, he didn't know any girls and only started noticing Sirius after 5 years of close friendship. He also wasn't at all bothered by the thought of liking a boy.

The thought of liking his best friend was quite another story. He sincerely doubted that his feelings would be returned, and any affection Sirius showed him had become very awkward. It was rather infuriating that things that were perfectly natural for friends to do felt like they hinted at something more when you had a crush on someone. No matter how many times Remus rationally told himself that it didn't mean anything to Sirius, he got butterflies every time.

Letting go much more quickly, Sirius looked his friend over, "Are you all right there? You didn't hurt yourself over the summer, right?"

"Yeah, I'm great," Remus said cheerfully, getting a timid hug from Peter that he happily returned. He ignored the look that passed over Sirius's face, thanks to the help of the delightful distraction of the train rolling in.

"Let's grab a good spot, yeah?" James said, watching the train eagerly, a broad smile on his face.

They did, and spent the ride joking, James and Sirius fondly scheming what they'd get up to now that they could freely use magic again, Remus throwing in his objections in out of a feeling of obligation rather than really being opposed to it. He was supposed to be the level headed one who kept the others out of getting into too much trouble.

Although this wasn't much of an achievement, considering how rare it was for James and Peter to have somewhere else to go at the same time on the train ride, he also spent it avoiding being alone with Sirius. He also spent it wishing he could believe that Sirius didn't notice anything and wouldn't start asking questions. Lying had never been something Remus had any skill in, especially not to his friends.

Now, he did not care if they found out that he liked boys. Well, a boy. He wasn't sure what his preferences were yet, beyond Sirius. But he didn't want to think of the awkwardness getting even worse if Sirius found out that Remus liked him. His brain had spent the summer tormenting him with worst-case scenarios of this ruining his friendship with all three of them and leaving him alone again.

Maybe he did think too much.

There was no real chance for Sirius or Remus to be alone together that entire night, to the werewolf's delight. He didn't want to have to spend too much time coming up with excuses to dodge him. It was only for a little bit, really, until he got back into the swing of things and would be able to just relax and be glad to have his friends, all of them, around.

If he kept telling himself something, that would make it true, right?

That night, after soft (and not so soft) snores started coming from James's and Peter's respective beds, Remus heard Sirius roll out of his and pad across the floor to his. Remus tried to feign sleep as he heard the boy softly whisper his name. He hoped that would be it, but he felt a hand on his arm shaking him roughly.

"Okay- okay, I'm awake!" he hissed, keeping his voice down and sitting up. "What is it?"

"Did I do something wrong?"

"What?"

"The way you've been to me all day- are you mad at me or something?" Sirius asked, genuine concern in his voice.

"No, of course not," Remus said truthfully.

The raven haired boy smiled for a moment before tilting his head to the side, "Then… what's up? If you aren't mad at me why've you been acting so weird?"

"I didn't think I was acting any different to you than I was to James or Pete," Remus said, scratching his head, "I'm really sorry if I have been."

Sirius looked him over for a moment, and Remus managed to get out a smile. He hoped that his friend would assume he was just tired and wouldn't notice that he wasn't being entirely honest. Well, that he was outright lying.

"Don't worry about it, yeh?" Sirius said, "I'll let you get back to sleep. G'night."

"Night," he echoed back, lying down and staring at the ceiling.