A/N: I'm finally back. Writing suddenly seemed so hard but I'm trying to find my way back... x

Darkness.

There would always be darkness; no matter where you look. You'll always find darkness during the night. Even during the summer months, the daylight eventually surrendered and made way for the endless darkness of the night. It only lasted a couple of hours though it may last forever sometimes. There was darkness in everyone's life. Things we did and things we regret. Mistakes we made, lies we told.

All Jane could think of at this moment was the mistakes she had made. The worst one was not listening to her partner who had told her not to enter the building; she didn't accuse him of not having her back in this. She'd been determined to make her way out safely on her own.

As the flames danced furiously around her, all she saw was the darkness in front of her. The spitting of the flames seemed louder with every passing second and she didn't know where she was. Jane couldn't remember where she came from, suddenly everything looked the same and there didn't seem to be a way out. Her heart was racing in her chest, panic was seeping through and she couldn't move. She knew she had to find a way out, it was just a matter of minutes until the building would collapse above her. She looked up to the ceiling but couldn't make out an end; all she saw was thick smoke and darkness. She tried to move forward, trying to be careful but she could hardly breathe. Her lungs were aching from the effort and the need for fresh air and oxygen. She moved forward, the heat burning in her eyes, blurring her vision.

Why was there no one to help? Did they even know she was in here? She felt the sobs coming, her eyes filling with tears; the sweat running down her face. The heat was burning on her face and she could hardly move her fingers any longer.

Where did she come from? Nothing looked familiar any longer but she knew she had to go somewhere, she needed to find a way out. She heard something break and instantly tried to protect her head with her arms while she ducked down, knowing that the fire would grant her no mercy.

Out of habit she took a deep breath, somehow hoping that it'd help to focus but the coughs and the feeling of being choked brought her to her knees and left her almost too weak to get up again. She felt the hot air burning in her nose and her lungs.

Maura, she thought. Was she out there? Did she see her going in? Jane couldn't remember, she didn't even remember the reason she went into the burning hell. All she knew is that it made her furious and desperate now that there didn't seem to be a way out. What was the last thing she said to Maura?

Did I tell her that I love her? She thought and the pain in her chest was even worse by then. Why did I never tell her that I love her. She knew it but Jane never said the words. She wanted time; time to grow and finally be able to tell Maura how she felt and that she loved her with all her heart and now it was too late.

I just found you, she thought. We didn't have enough time, she thought again. There's so much I wanna tell you, so much that you need to know.

The tears streamed down her face, mixing with the sweat and the dirt on her face. We didn't have time, she whispered again and again. There was no one who heard her; there was nothing but the cracking of the never ending fire.

I'm sorry, she whispered to herself. I'm so sorry, Maura.

She closed her eyes, listened to the sound of her blood rushing in her ears. The pounding of her own heart. She was terrified and suddenly it started to sink in. She would die in here, there was no way out and she didn't have any strength left to leave on her own. She had no idea where she was and going in even farther would only make it worse if that was possible. For just a brief second she was alert and looked into the darkness ahead.

Did she hear something? Did she hear someone talking or was it just her own voice that she had heard. She didn't know if she was hallucinating already or if there'd been someone somewhere close. With that tiny spark of hope that suddenly flared up inside of her, she opened her mouth and tried to scream. She tried so hard but there was no sound and no matter how many times she tried, she couldn't scream. There was no sound coming out of her mouth.

And all there was left in the end was darkness.

"Jane?" she heard her saying a little louder each time she said her name. "Jane!" she said and sounded worried.

Jane knew that voice and she heard her, from far away at first. She wanted to move, open her eyes and look at her but she couldn't. She wasn't strong enough to get out of it, no matter how hard she tried.

"Jane," she heard her name again and a cool hand touched her face. "Wake up," Maura whispered.

Maura, Jane thought. She's here. She tried to open her eyes again and slowly she returned to reality. She wasn't dead but what about the fire? She didn't know where she was when she finally opened her eyes but she was breathing and that was all that mattered.

"Maura," she whispered but there was hardly any sound, her throat was dry.

"It's okay, Jane," Maura said quietly and sat down on the edge of the bed next to her. "I'm here, it was just a nightmare," she told Jane and wiped a few hairs out her face, it was covered with a thin layer of sweat. Jane put her hand on Maura's and kept it in place. She stared at the ceiling and her eyes filled with tears, streaming down at each side of her face while she waited for the shock to settle. She'd had nightmares before but it'd never been so real. She didn't remember a time when it took her so long to calm down after waking up. What she didn't have back then was something to lose; it was the one thing that made everything so terrifying. The very reason that her deepest fears took over her body while she was sleeping. It was the fear of losing the person she loved.

"I'll get you something to drink," Maura said and Jane didn't move for a few seconds after Maura left the room. She closed her eyes again, taking a deep breath; one after another. She filled her lungs with fresh and cool air, getting calmer with every time she inhaled. She looked down her own body; she was naked except for a little bit of white fabric that covered her legs. The windows in the bedroom were wide open but there was hardly any breeze. Though it was night time, the air was still too warm to grant you a bit of a change.

Jane turned on her left side and wrapped her arms around Maura's pillow. She inhaled the sweetness of her perfume, the warmth where here body had recently been. She recalled the last few hours in her mind.

She kissed Maura the way she'd never kissed anyone before. She still felt that hint of jealousy and she wanted to make a point. But most of all she wanted Maura. Her hands trembled slightly when she opened the buttons of Maura's shirt one by one; her hands on the bare skin of her hips. For just one second she seemed unsure about the next step but pushed her doubts aside to let herself be led by her heart.

The way Maura had made her feel. She had loved her with every part of her body, she had made her shiver and scream. There had been gentle and passionate moments; seconds of silence without the need of words to be spoken. For a very long time Jane had fought to find someone who would make her feel this way but she had always failed to find someone who had eased the emptiness that had settled with the years. She had felt lots of things but she had always felt that there was something missing; after all these years she had finally managed to fill the emptiness with her love.

She slightly parted her lips, a soft moan escaping her lips. Her hands dug into the sheets; every nerve of her body was on fire. She pulled Maura close, engaging her in a kiss that seemed endless. The need for air was the only thing that forced them to part for a second. Jane didn't want it to end, she wanted to savor every touch before it passed. She felt safe and content, eerily calm and breathless at the same time.

She'd enjoyed every second but now that she laid in bed alone, it made her very sad.

What if? She asked herself.

She knew she shouldn't torture herself with these thoughts but now she felt so emotionally fragile that she couldn't keep it from invading her mind. She was in a sleepy haze, trying to focus. Jane felt slightly dizzy and wondered if she actually got enough sleep the last days. How many crime scenes had she been to? Did she get enough sleep and most important, did she drank plenty of water? Given the circumstances she wasn't in the mood to laugh at herself because these were the kind of things that her mother would ask and she had always hated it.

She didn't turn around when Maura re-entered the room; she walked around the bed and sat down on her side of the bed now with a glass of water in her hand. Jane looked at her and remembered how lucky she was. Maura wasn't wearing any make-up and for once her tin freckles were visible; her hair was nothing but a mess. There were no fancy clothes but a simple sheet wrapped around her. To Jane, she'd never been more beautiful.

"Drink it," Maura said softly and Jane knew that a part of the Medical Examiner wanted to ask her if she had had enough to drink recently but she knew better then to ask. "What happened?" she asked quietly when Jane had emptied the glass and looked at her hands.

The brunette took a deep breath and bit her lip; she didn't know what to say and it seemed too early to talk about it. She shook her head wordlessly; she held out her hand for Maura and leaned into her when she took it. She laid her head on Maura's shoulder who wrapped her arms around Jane. A couple of seconds passed with nothing but the sound of their breathing disturbing the silence.

"I can't," she whispered and closed her eyes; breaking out in sweat.

What the hell is wrong? she asked herself. She still felt a little dizzy when she raised her head from Maura's shoulder. She looked into Maura's eyes and softly caressed her cheek as she watched the sudden confusion turn into adoration. She wanted to tell her so many things but words failed her for a moment until she knew what she really wanted and that there was no need for many words.

"I love you," she whispered without losing Maura out of sight for an instant. "I love you so much," she said again and a smile spread on her lips. It suddenly seemed so easy and she couldn't understand why it had appeared so hard in the first place.

"I love you too," Maura said and raised her head to kiss Jane. She smiled at her and Jane laid back; snuggling up to Maura. She took a deep breath and held Maura's hand in her own, watching them until she drifted off to sleep.

The next time Maura opened her eyes she was blinded by the bright sunlight that flooded the room through the open window. She blinked and kept her eyes closed; the sun was pretty warm already. She didn't move and a smile crossed her lips.

"I love you," she heard Jane's voice and bit her lip. It made her want to scream with joy but she kept it to herself since she didn't want to wake Jane. She was happy in a way she hadn't been in many years and it felt wonderful.

The seconds passed in silence and Maura was torn between giving Jane a few more minutes of sleep and waking her up just to talk to her. She quietly counted to sixty before she turned around and caught a glimpse at the alarm clock. It wasn't even 7am but she couldn't sleep any longer. She fell back into the cushions, knowing that there was no way she'd go back to sleep.

"Why are you awake?" Jane wanted to ask when she felt Maura moving beside her. She couldn't open her eyes; she felt worse then last night and something told her that it wasn't just the nightmare that had flustered her earlier. Her throat was dry and she could hardly swallow because it hurt so much.

"Did I wake you?" Maura asked. She knew the answer and wasn't particularly sorry either. "Sorry."

"Mhm," was all Jane could manage without opening her mouth.

"Good morning," Maura said softly and kissed Jane's forehead, immediately noticing that it was way too hot even with the temperatures outside. "You're hot," Maura said and Jane forced her eyes open, the slightest of smiles on her lips. "No, I mean it," Maura said and sounded a little worried. "You're hot," she repeated and sat upright, gently placing a hand on Jane's forehead.

"You're running a temperature," Maura told Jane and the lack of protest told the doctor that Jane was seriously knocked out for now. She got up to fetch her clothes and thought of telling Jane not to go anywhere though she dropped since she'd hardly go anywhere at all for now. "I'll be right back," she told Jane. "I just need to get something from the car."

She was back in less then three minutes with a glass of water and a clinical thermometer. "You need to drink," Maura said and handed her the glass of water. "Put this under your tongue and keep your mouth closed," she told Jane and handed her the thermometer.

"102.2 °F," Maura read after a while. "Does anything else hurt?"

"Everything," Jane whispered and slightly winced at the pain; Maura had to admit that she looked and sounded awful.

"We need to take you to the doctor," Maura said and got up.

"You are a doctor," Jane whispered and carefully sat upright.

"My patients are all dead," she reminded her girlfriend and smiled at it because this was usually Jane's line. "And I can't prescribe you any medication. I'll get some clothes," she said when she remembered that Jane was still naked beneath the covers. She leaned back and waited with her eyes closed; she didn't remember the last time she'd felt so awful and all she wanted to do was sleep. While Maura picked up the clothes that still lay on the floor she thought that the best thing to do was to take Jane to her place. It seemed easier since she could as well do some work from home if that was necessary though she wouldn't tell Jane about her plans for now. The Jane she knew probably wouldn't want her to make such a fuzz out of it but things changed in such a condition but she didn't want to push it for now but what she knew is that the last thing Jane wanted was having her mother around for now and it was quite likely for Angela to show up unannounced and finding her daughter in such a condition certainly wouldn't make her leave. It probably was the best thing for everyone now.

"You really don't have to do that," Jane said weakly when she laid down on Maura's bed, her heart hammering against her chest. She closed her eyes and couldn't believe that the short walk from the car to Maura's bedroom had exhausted her so much.

"Don't be stupid," Maura said softly and at down next to her. "You have to take the antibiotics three times a day and you should try to have something to eat," Maura said and asked herself if Jane already fell asleep.

"Not hungry," she said quietly.

"You want me to stay with you?" Maura asked and Jane shook her head a little.

"I'll be okay," she said and tried to clear her throat. "I'll be asleep," Jane said and tried to smile.

"I could work from here," Maura suggested.

"Maur," Jane said quietly. "It's okay."

"You call me when you need anything?" Jane nodded.

"Okay," Maura sighed and accepted Jane's wish not to stay home but remained seated on the bed.

"Just a damn cold," Jane said when she noticed that Maura didn't move.

"You're right," Maura said and kissed Jane on the forehead. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

She didn't like the thought of being off to work for a couple of hours with Jane being sick but she was right. There was nothing she could do for now except waiting for the antibiotics to work. She'd be back as soon as possible. She thought of Jane being so weak was weird because she wasn't used to see her like this but by the time she entered the headquarters her mind was forced to switch to the things that happened right in front of her; taking her far away from Jane.