Here is awsomenaruto's two-shot...the first part. I hope you like this. I put wayyy too much blood and guts into this to have people not like it. So please enjoy this Parental!RoyxEd ficcy!

Started Writing: June 7th, 2011

Started Typing: June 22nd, 2011

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What If Your Commander Was Your Dad?

Part One Of Two

For awsomenaruto

By Chibi Allen Walker The Awsome

One day, a nice warm July day, some bad things happened. At least, they were bad for the FullMetal Alchemist, Edward Elric.

It all began when Ed returned to Eastern Command from a successful mission. But the thing was, he had almost been killed, because a land mine had exploded seconds after he stepped on it, then he almost drank some dangerous poison, and finally, he had almost been defeated in a battle by an alchemist of higher power. Ed knew Roy was going to be so mad.

As he flashed the sliver watch to the guards who kept watch at the Command enterance, he could imagine the long, extremly boring lecture he was going to get. He started sweating buckets by the time he got towards where Mustang's team worked, and was glad Alphonse wasen't there, but back at Resembool with Winry.

To prolong the time Roy would have to wait, he ran the other direction to the men's restroom, but was stopped by a comment.

"Hey, aren't you too short to use the urinal?"

He flashed around, and grabbed the officer by the collor of his uniform and punched his face swiftly.

"THAT SHOULD TEACH YOU NOT TO MESS WITH ME!" he yelled into the man's face, and walked off, letting the dazed mand slide down the hallway wall.

Once in the bathroom, he hid in one of the stalls, trying to think of a proper excuse to his injuries. But after ten minutes, nothing came to mind which left him frustrated.

Suddenly, the stall door opened. The lock had been picked by a cirtain Colonel. He wore a expression that seemed uninviting to Ed, and he gulped.

"Uhh...It's a good thing you didn't come in thirty seconds ago..."

Ed smiled nervously with eyes showing fake puzzlement. Obviously, Mustang didn't buy it. He abruptly grabbed Edward by the shirt, and began to drag him to his office. And Ed began to struggle with him.

During the battle, Edward's head slipped into his shirt, and he managed to get all of his top half out, and he fled to the mess hall.

"FULLMETAL! YOU GET BACK HERE!" Roy yelled, going after him.

Ed opened the heavy doors of the mess hall just as Mustang was catching up to him, and the young alchemist leaped onto a table, disturbing plenty of the lunches. He continued jumping tables. being chased by Mustang, until he slipped on a plate of bacon. He flew into the air, spun a sideways three hundred sixty degrees, and landed into Roy's strong arms, still alive.

The blond alchemist's eyes' widened when he realized what had happened, and tried to wriggle himself out of Roy's arms, only to get the hold tightened.

"Come on, to my office, FullMetal." Roy said bluntly, beginning to carry Ed to his office.

Ed moaned in displeasure as they got to the dreaded hallway, and even grumbled as they went into the area where Roy's team worked. He swore he heard Havoc snicker...Ohhh! He'd get his revenge!

When they actually got inside the private part of the office, where Roy signed his papers, Ed was put in one of the hard chairs in front of the desk. And Roy had locked the door so Ed couldn't escape. This had to be bad. And he was still shirtless!

Roy walked over to his desk, and pulled out some fancy-looking papers. And pushed them in Ed's face. Ed saw that the top read: ADOPTION PAPERS. He gagged, and shut his eyes hard.

"I know, FullMetal, I feel that way about this as well, but it has to be done," Roy sighed. "I've given you plenty of chances to go unparented through life in the military. But you've been fooling around far too long. So now I have to go to these measures."

"You don't have to! Who forced you?" Ed snapped.

"You did, FullMetal. And also Hawkeye a little bit."

I'm not signing it! No matter if you try to put me in court for disobaying orders!"

"Oh, you don't have to. You've already done just that. So did Alphonse, but he won't be invovled. He just signed his consent on me taking care of you only."

"What? When?" Ed asked, a look of shock painting his face.

"You signed it shortly after you joined the military, thinking it was merely a piece of useless paperwork. Now all that it needs is my signature. And then you will be officially my only son."

"As if you haven't already knocked up enough single women already!"

"FullMetal," Roy growled, eye twitching. "Don't even go there."

Edward huffed and turned away as Roy went over to his desk, and quickly signed the paper. The Colonel then put it into his own fax machine, sending it to Amestrian Children's Welfare Agency. A few moments later, a letter of approval was sent. Edward Elric was no more. He was now Edward Elric Mustang, son of The Flame Alchemist.

When Ed turned around and found it out, he yelled in shock, and dug his face into the plastic of the chair, letting it muffle the yell.

Roy just stood there and let it pass, then he told Ed that he was taking early leave, so he could get him ready to live in the Mustang residence. Ed just groaned, and followed Roy out to his nice black truck. The teen was told to ride in the back, and Ed didn't object as he sqeezed through the front to get there.

"Okay, Ed. Where should we go first to get your stuff? Or are you going to reticent and let me choose?" Roy asked, starting the car up.

"SUPAHMART." Ed mumbled. (A/N: It's supposed to be in caps.)

"Hold on, could you repeat that?"

"I said freaking SUPAHMART!"

"Okay, no need to yell, but don't mumble to me."

As Roy drove to SUPAHMART, Ed gritted his teeth. This was not going to be any fun.

(Part 2 of Part 1)

After the trip to SUPAHMART, and also after Ed's room was set up, he was in is room awaiting Roy to finish making dinner. But...He was extremly bored. And if the FullMetal Alchemist is bored, you're looking at troble.

He looked around the room, and saw something that he could mess with. It was a box filled with alchemy texts that Roy had provided for him. He got off the bed, and took all the books out of the chest. Then he drew a transmutation circle around it, and pressed his hands onto it, activating the transmutation, and he watched it turn into a small bookself that would still fit all the books. But sadly, he was caught by Roy just as he finished the transmutation.

"Edward? What did you just do?" Roy asked, standing at the door, wearing a very embrassing apron.

"Uh, nice apron you got there Colonel." Ed replied, trying to avoid another situation.

"Don't do that 'Uh' crap again! What did you just do?"

"Fine!" Edward said, throwing his arms up in defeat. "All I did was some alchemic remodeling on the bookchest! Okay? No damage was done to it, anyways..."

"You know the rules I just told you thirty minutes ago, don't you?" Roy waited for a response, but recived nothing but a blank look. "See? I'm glad I adopted you, now I can actually get some rules into you, and you can follow them! And, for your punishment for remodeling a perfectly good chest, you'll have to go to bed thirty minutes early."

"What! What time do I even go to bed normally?" Edward wailed, starting to throw a tantrum.

Ignoring Ed's wailing, Roy answered flatly. "You usually go to bed at 9:00 pm. Or at 21:00 hours if you want it in Military time."

"But Royyyyyy!" Ed cried, banging and kicking the floor, just like any other four year old would. (A/N: Man, I think I overdid this part. :( )

"No. You're going to bed at 8:30 weather you want to or not. But if you don't stop throwing such a childish tantrum, I'll move it to 8:00."

But Edward continued, and eventually, Mustang grabbed the 14-year old by the arms, and dragged him out into the hallway. But when Mustang let go, Ed ran off.

"NOT AGAIN, EDWARD!" Roy yelled, going in the direction Ed had ran.

Ed had taken cover in the dining room, under the dinner table, which was covered by a lovely tablecloth so noone could see him. He shouldn't of let his mind take control of his actions like that! It made him seem so childish! He froze when he heard angry footsteps coming in the rom, and Roy mumbling that Ed could hide for all he cared, because he'd have to come out eventually.

Yeah, right! Edward thought. I can hide forever if I have to!

But it was a good four hours before it sounded like Mustang had even gone to bed. So once he made sure he heard nothing, he lifted the tablecloth so he could crawl out, which he did. Not a single light was on, and it was even new moon, so it was uberdark. And the thing was, Edward was quite scared of the dark. In fact, he really wanted to get in the bed already and fall asleep, but could he cope in his own room, alone? He was gonna find out.

The futher in the hallway he got, the more he thought there were monsters. He shivered uncomfortably, and opened the door to his bedroom, to find it empty of persons. He turned on a small lamp next to his bed and let his eyes adjust to the light before getting into his drawers, only to find footie pjs. What kind of bastard does he think he is? But sadly, they all fit him.

So he sucked it up and pulled out a bright yellow one, and put it on in record time. He felt so babyish in it! He sighed quietly and climbed into his large, four-poster bed, turning off the light, leaving him in the pitch-dark of nighttime. But unfortunately, he couldn't sleep! Aw, I hate this stupid darkness phobia! Ed thought as he got off his bed. There was only one thing he could think of at this point. He just hoped he wouldn't get in troble!

He left the room, and headed only the next door down, and was in Roy's room. He tip-toed slowly towards the king-sized bed that had Roy in its covers. When he got there, he climbed on it, and up beside him, hoping not to wake him up.

"So you finally left your hiding spot?"

Ed jumped, and went under the blankets, not wanting to get caught.

"I guess so, then. You can come out of under those blankets. You'll serve your punishment tomarrow night. Now why are you in here?"

"Uh...You promise not to laugh, kay?" Ed said sheepishly.

Ed saw Roy nod slowly, turning to face him.

"Well...I'm scared of the dark, and monsters in the dark. Please don't laugh!"

"I understand, Ed. Go ahead and make yourself comfortable, but remember, you'll have to different punishments. One for the chest, and the other for running off, okay?"

"Kay then, Roy. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, kiddo."

(To be continued in Part 2!)

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Wow! That took too long! Sorry for the wait! The next part shall be out soon! Still planning it. And Roselynn Saphira, if you're reading this...Your one-shot is almost done. It will be out sometime withen the next two weeks, garenteed. It will be called 'Edward's Water Woes' And is a side-story for 'Number Thirteen' taking place between chapters 1 and 2. See ya soon!

~Chibi-chan :D:D