A/N: Okay. So here's a new story i thought of. Im hoping it'll be a six-shot, but we will see what happens. If you guys have any ideas that would be most helpful! I hope you guys enjoy this, i really do! Please review and tell me what you think! For now it's rated T for drug usage and swears, but there might be smut at the end. I will defiantly let you know before hand so you don't have to read if you don't want to. You guys let me know! OH! And the italicized parts are James' thoughts. Just wanted to make that clear.
CHAPTER 1
PAST
"Your such a nerd, Logie." thirteen year old James laughed taunting Logan with the nickname he despised.
"S-s-so! Nerds are- are smart!" almost fourteen year old Logan replied pathetically, tears starting to sting his eyes.
"That's what the word nerd means!" James laughed, "Maybe you're not as smart as everyone thinks."
"Well- well you're not as pretty as you think! You're ugly...and fat!" Logan spat at him. James felt his own eyes start to water. He quickly turned away and ran down the street. Logan knew he was extremely self-conscious about his appearance. James hated the way he looked. His face was round and pudgy looking, and he had what people call "a spare tire" in his stomach. James knew that Logan had just said it in the heat of an argument, but it still hurt a lot.
Well, that's how it all started. After that James started working out and dieting. It wasn't just once in a while thing either; it was all the time. As the months went by, he quit losing the weight like he wanted. That led to his chronic depression. He still wasn't even talking to Logan either. It was during this time that James realized two things. One, he was completely and totally in love with Logan. And two, diet pills were amazing.
His friends started to worry about him. Carlos would always ask him what was wrong, Kendall would always give him pep talks about anything and everything, and Logan kept his distance. The more he tried to hide his new found pills from his friends, the harder it seemed to keep his secret. One day James just decided to stop taking the pills, he had started taking them on his own so he could stop taking them on his own right? Wrong. James just couldn't stop. He tried, he really did, but he just didn't succeed. He eventually confined in the school counselor, begging her not to tell anyone. She agreed and helped him quit his addiction. She warned him though, if she ever caught him taking diet pills again she would go straight to Mr. Diamond. That was enough to scare James out of even thinking about taking the pills again. If Mr. Diamond found out James was taking diet pills, Mr. Diamond would quite literally beat James shitless. So he made up with Logan and told his friends the reason he was acting so weird, was because he had realized he was bi. His friends excepted him, not thinking twice about James' new sexuality. James was happy now, and he didn't even think about taking any more pills, that is until he became famous.
PRESENT
He looked over at Logan as they sang Boyfriend. God, he wished he would just grow a pair and ask Logan out already. It's been years since he came out to his friends, but Logan still hasn't shown any interest in him. Why would he though? Logan wasn't gay, or even bi for that matter. James stumbled a little. He needed to stop day dreaming of Logan, and pay attention to the task at hand which was performing a concert in front of lots and lots of people. James' voice cracked when he sang a note too high. Someone close to the stage booed. James was taken aback. Did someone just really boo at him? He looked down at the person. It was a ten-year-old boy. He probably didn't even like Big Time Rush; his parents probably just made him come. James smiled at the boy.
"What are you looking at butthead?" the little boy asked him. James' mouth fell open. What a rude little boy! If he wasn't ten and if James want in the middle of a concert, he would totally give this boy a piece of his mind. "Cant you hear me? No you probably cant with all that fat around your ears!" the little boy laughed. The boys much older sister looked at her brother, looked at James, and joined in laughing.
"I love you Logan!" the sister proceeded to scream after she finished laughing. What made it worse was Logan looked over at the girl and winked at her. Okay, yeah, Logan hadn't seen the whole thing go down, but he had winked at some girl. Not James. The one who loved him. That was it!
"Fuck it." James muttered throwing his microphone on the ground. All eyes were on him as he stormed away.
"James?" Logan called after him. Oh now Logan wanted to pay attention to him? No, fuck him. He didn't need this. James stormed into his dressing room, and locked the door. "James? Open the door!" Logan called beating on the door. James felt hot tears slide down his face. He ran over to his medicine cabinet. He knew there wouldn't be any diet pills in there, but he didn't need to lose wait. No that kid was just being a turd. James knew he wasn't fat…anymore. No he needed something to take this pain away. Tylenol? It'll work. He dumped half the continents of the bottle into his hand. He grabbed a water bottle and started swallowing the many pills. After he had finished, he sat down in his chair and took a few deep breaths. He wiped his eyes. He hadn't even realized he had been crying the whole time. "Jamesy, please open the door." Logan had been reduced to begging. Yeah that's right Logan, beg for me.
"Why should I?" James asked.
"Because I want to know what's wrong. I want to help you." Logan pleaded. James sighed. He couldn't say no to Logan. He got up and opened the door. Logan walked into the room, and James shut and locked the door behind him. He turned to Logan and broke down crying again. Logan wrapped his arms around his best friend in an attempt to comfort him. "Shh. It's okay Jamesy. I'm sure whatever it is, its okay." Logan softly whispered consoling words into James ear. This is what love feels like. Logan comforting you while you cry like a baby. Yeah this is love. James felt his stomach start to churn. Sure James had never loved anyone, but when he was around people he really liked he never felt butterflies like this before. Maybe these were love butterflies? To bad James thought was wrong, and with that he threw up all over Logans shirt.