After half an hour of nonstop bickering (thanks to Deidara questioning Sakura about her 'freakish' pink hair) and a fist fight between Shisui and Deidara (which was quite odd since Shisui was in the front seat and Deidara was in the back ...furthest away from him), the five of them finally arrived at the Noir.
Deidara stared at the restaurant in admiration.
He had never in his life eaten out for more then 2,598 yen and even then he had one of his admirers pay for him.

"Itachi you remember you're gonna pay right, cause you said so before yea".

"I assure you Deidara I'll be paying".

"You can't back out, cause once we enter yea, there's no going back hnn"

"I know Deidara-"

"I best not be punk'd or nothing cause I'm just going to shoot someone yea".
An obsidian eye began to twitch, why didn't the blonde haired idiot just accept the offer quietly like everyone else?
Why was he so paranoid?

"Cause, like I don't have money to pay for anything in there yea"

"Deidara don't worry man, Itachi said he'll pay and he'll pay", said Shisui reassuringly.
A lone cerulean eye lit up in excitement.

After their discussion the, oh so 'chivalrous' Itachi got out and opened maiden Haruno's door. Who responded by shyly leaving the car; followed by Deidara who had to bite his tongue in order to stop the snide comment itching in his mouth.
He repeated his mantra quietly 'CHEAP IS BEST, FREEBIES ARE BETTER' and gave Itachi the politest smile he could muster up.

"Ita chan, when are you going to open my door, I've been waiting for ages", said Shisui teasingly.

"Shut up yea. How old are you hnn".

"You're such an ass lick", replied Shisui, getting out of the car.

"I'm not as bad as you...'Oh Don't listen to him Sakura, you look quite appealing', yea", mimicked Deidara in a high pitched voice.

"Wow... the real question is how old are you Deidara...We're not in grade school"

"You're obviously not, with all those white hairs hnn"

Shisui instantly clutched at his head "They're not there because I'm ageing, it's because of stress and a lack of vitamins".

"Is that the bull that Anko fed you, yea"

"Be quiet", Shisui's cheeks were covered by a deep flush and he continued to fumble with his dark hair.
Itachi ignored the two and chucked the silver keys to the Valet.

"Shisui was right, you do look quite enticing tonight Haruno san", without hesitation he offered his arm.

Sakura's brain stopped functioning as soon as the compliment left Itachi's perfect lips.
She turned to her sides in disbelief, she saw Shisui nudging Deidara rather roughly in the ribs and Sasori smiling his normal voidless smile.
The next thing she knew her arm was around his and she was being led rather smoothly to the front entrance of the restaurant.

"A table for 5 please" said Shisui cheerfully.

"I'm sorry there might be a short dela-"

"I want the finest table for 5", said Itachi firmly, his obsidian eyes, similar to that of his younger brothers were glaring dangerously at the scrawny host.

"Oh Uch..Uchiha sa...sama , ye..yes, fo..follow me please".

The 5 of them were immediately led to a table with an amazing view; they could sea the beautiful Suna-n moon, light up the sky causing the water beneath it to shimmer like a thousand pieces of broken glass.

"It's so beautiful", sighed Sakura.
Itachi again decided to be incredibly polite by helping her get seated. This time Sakura wasn't fazed. She just raised a pink brow at Shisui, who shrugged.
Sakura sat quietly for the next 10 minutes, pretending to read her menu.
She decided to ignore the closeness between her and Itachi.
She ignored the way his thigh brushed against her own and the way his fingers grazed against hers when they both reached to refill their wine glasses.
She convinced herself that she was thinking to deep into it, his actions meant nothing. The only reason those butterflies in her stomach were tormenting her was because he was extremely good looking and held a strong resemblance to Sasuke –her previous crush.
It was nothing.
Nothing at all.
But why was he suddenly so close?
And why was the room getting insufferably hot?

"So is everyone ready to order", asked Deidara excitedly.
Sakura began to panic, her glossy emerald eyes scanned the menu, shifting backwards and forwards in an attempt to find something that didn't slither in its own slime.

"Haruno san, are you ready", asked Itachi flatly.

"Uhh yea, there's so much to choose from, I'm pretty overwhelmed", she lied.

"I know right, everything looks soo good yea"

"Can we order please", asked Sasori to the closest waiter.
Sakura sighed, she'd just order what Deidara was ordering, he'd surely have something that would be filling. She set the menu down and took a large gulp of wine.

"Of course sir, what can I get you?" asked the waitress.

She turned to face them and they were all greeted with large perky breasts.
Deidara was openly staring; he unconsciously reached out to touch the globes, luckily for him he was snapped out of his reverie before the women could scream rape.
The very busty woman held a strong resemblance to someone Sakura knew, but couldn't identify.
The women had short silvery hair that was tied up, she wore big spectacles that were bright blue, hiding her eyes and the lower half of her face was covered by a black sanitary mask. She wore the common waiter's uniform however the mandatory skirt was replaced by baggy black trousers.

"Umm...well I'll have the Carabineros King prawns as a starter and the thinly sliced brea... breast of duckling as a main", said Sasori trying to avoid staring at the women's chest.

"Well I'll have the Fresh Anchovies stuffed with Swiss chards and ricotta yea, as a starter, I know exactly what fresh anchovies taste like so make sure they're the real deal hnn , and I'll have the Milk fed lamb as a main, but make sure it's not too pink, and what exactly is in the country style salad hnn, if they're any tomatoes or olives just remove them cause I hate them yea, I hate them olives yea, they taste like gone off milk and them tomatoes, don't get me started on them tomato-"

"Deidara are you done yet", asked an exasperated Shisui.
Deidara's eye widened and he nodded happily like a school kid, his blonde hair slightly ruffling with the sudden movement.
After ordering Sakura began to unload her memory bank to find out where she had previously encountered that rather masculine women.

"Wohoo...Earth to Sakura, Sakura hnn".
It wasn't like Sakura couldn't hear Deidara's annoying calls, she was just ignoring them. He was so predictable.

"Did you find that chick hot", he asked his blue eye glittering in excitement.

"No, Deidara for the last time I'm not ga-"

"So you've been lying to us", came Sasori's steely voice. Sakura felt like she was reaching boiling point, just like a volcano about to explode her body began to tremble.

It didn't help that the room was hot and people were breathing her air. The anger was surging through her very core, there were many factors responsible for the forthcoming outburst. Some of these being; sharing a small room with two very dangerous S rank criminals, having a bipolar Uchiha to do deal with, who sometimes seemed to want to destroy her very being and other times showered her with compliments and 'niceness'. The very same Uchiha also made her heart flutter and body react in strange ways. And the last reason to why she was on the verge of a mental breakdown was that Haruno Sakura knew faces, she simply couldn't forget one that easily, and she definitely recognised that women, but she just couldn't remember where and at what circumstances.
Her mind was screaming the same thing over and over again.
'You're a Haruno, now get up of your backside and K.O them Sakura style'

"Yea, what you gonna do about it Sasori", she replied back icily.

"I'm sick and tired of you all thinking you can do whatever the hell you want with me. Let's start with you Shisui, it doesn't take a genius to know not to room your partner with two potentially dangerous criminals. Why the hell would you put me in a room with freakin' Henry the 8th and Malibu Barbie? Next you just assume I'm gay. The gay ones are you, we all know what you and Itachi get up to, why else would you two be so adamant on sharing a room together by yourselves.
You should have used that miniscule brain of yours to realise that... maybe, just maybe I should be rooming with you or Itachi ...or even both, cause we're pretty familiar with each other. I know nothing about the other two, for all you know they could chop me up into little pieces and ship me over to bloody to Kumogakure.
And you Uchiha Itachi, why the hell are you being so nice to me, is this some sort of cover up for your gayness or are you seriously in denial. I understand why though, since Sasuke's out of the closet, and the only remaining head Uchiha is you. The pressure of being the one that has to have kids must be killing you cause you and Shisui can't magically make kids unless you grow some in a tube (dedicated to carmenstein), you have enough money to do me the hell alone, don't be nice to me, unless you're actually being sincere, cause I've had enough of the whole 'I'm and Uchiha and I'm so bloody great' crap.
Lastly lets talk about the S rank criminals, Deidara, I really like you, and thanks to you I'm not as homesick as I would've been. SO THANK YOU, GOD DAMNIT!
BUT...Don't freakin' get on my nerves or I'll beat the shit out of you.
Sasori why the hell are you so freakin' emotionless, even the Uchiha aren't that bad. Listen I'm not scared of you at all, take that stick out of your ass and stop being a sadistic bastard."

The air suddenly got colder; five eyes were staring directly behind her. She felt Itachi's hand on her thigh tighten. She didn't realise that the restaurant had quietened down.

And she didn't realise that people were looking at her.
"What you all lookin' at, mind your own freakin' business", she yelled waving her fist madly.

"Nothing to see, she's just a little bit tipsy, had too much to drink...uhahaha", said Shisui laughing nervously.
The atmosphere got warmer and they could hear the comfortable vibrations of conversations and cutlery against each other.
The waitress was busily clearing up the table beside them and Sakura caught sight of a small grin on her face.
There was something very off with that woman.

"Haruno san, I do understand you're quite upset at this minute but can you please refrain your self from creating another scene", hissed Itachi.
This was it, Haruno Sakura's second near death experience with an Uchiha. Her fingers curled into a fist, she swung her arm backwards to gain momentum and...
WAMM!
Her fist landed square on Uchiha Itachi's face. Her eyes widened in realisation, she saw a small trail of crimson on his face and the deadliest eyes staring back at her. She did the only thing she could do; she turned away and ran for her life.

-Insert anecdote-
His name was Orochimaru , he was a paedophile and Itachi's old partner.
He had tried to kidnap Sasuke when he was younger, by offering him immense power.
Fortunately Itachi and Shisui had found the two leaving Konoha.
He heard Sasuke screaming obscenities at Orochimaru who was dragging the very reluctant young boy.
There was an epic battle and then Orochimaru landed a scratch on Itachi's face.
Itachi's beautiful face.
After that Orochimaru wasn't found again and both Uchiha siblings never talked of that day.

Even after Shisui had kindly given her that information, she ignored it and was now in the process of facing the Uchiha's wrath. She ran blindly, through tables and turned to see if he was following her. She didn't see where she was going and slammed against the silver haired waitress causing the tray of water in her hands to spill all over Sakura's clothes.

The first thing on Sakura's mind should have been how the ice cold water was pinching her skin but it wasn't. All she was thinking about was how oddly shaped the woman's breasts were.
Shisui came racing behind her.

"Don't worry, Sakura, Deidara's convincing Itachi it's PMS, so lets go back and apologise and everything will be ok...I hope"

"Sorry, madam, I didn't mean to spill the water... ..let me help you clean up", came the waitresses high pitched frantic voice.

Sakura noted how large and thin the waitress's hands were. The woman grabbed tissues to dab at Sakura's nude blouse. At first she didn't notice the way those very hands stayed slightly longer on her chest then anywhere else. But at the second round of the tissue attack she even felt the woman cup her breast.
Shisui looked behind him nervously.

"You get cleaned up and I'll stall...I mean talk to Itachi", he turned around and speedily walked away.

"Which way's the bathroom?" asked Sakura softly, her eyes shifting around nervously, trying to avoid looking where the woman's hand was.

"I'll take you there madam", came her high pitched reply.
Sakura knew it; there was something really off about that woman. Not only did she have weird features but her voice was abnormally high pitched with deep undertones.
She eyed the woman again, whilst she was being led to the toilets.
Why was she so drawn to the woman?
Maybe she was gay; she wouldn't be surprised though, with Deidara's constant gay jabs and her own failed relationships.
It just didn't make sense, why would a 5 star restaurant allow that specific waitress to be an exception from the mandatory uniform. At first Sakura convinced herself that the woman was simply a feminist, but after walking to the toilets together her suspicions were confirmed, the woman was strange, and not the good strange either.

Sakura was led to the toilets; she slyly reached into her bag to get her tazer out. But before she could she felt a pair of strong hands grab her wrists, causing her to release her hold on her bag. She was pinned against a peachy wall and that was when she got a good look at the waitress. The blue glasses slid of her face revealing two different eyes and a very masculine face.

"Long time no see pinky", he chuckled.

"YOU! What the hell are you doing?" she cried struggling against him.
The silver haired man adjusted his hold; he pulled both her dainty wrists into his left hand and then pulled out his fake boobs with the right.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME AND WHY THE HELL ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?" She screamed.

"Well you see these boobs are quite uncomfortable so I thought I'd take them out".

"You still haven't answered any of my other questions", she muttered dryly.

"Well I don't think you're in a suitable position to be the one asking questions". His eyes were dancing with mischief.
Sakura's eyes narrowed.

"Who are you?" she growled struggling under his grip.

"Who are you?" he challenged, his vice like grip tightening.

"Hyuuga Hinata", she lied, she bit her lower lip nervously.

"I told you my name, now it's only fair you tell me yours", she continued, glaring hard at his face.

"Well, Hinata san, is it ok if I call you tha-"

"No-"

"Hina hime-"

"Hyuu-"

"Hina Hina chan"

"IT'S HYUUGA SAN TO YOU", she bellowed, head butting him. The sheer force caused his head to roll backwards. Sakura took the opportunity to knee his crotch. His face distorted in pain and he lost his footing causing him to topple onto the shiny marble floor.
Sakura searched her bag for a weapon, but all she found were golden sugar packets that Deidara had forced her to 'take/steal' for him.

"Looking for these?" he growled, waving her tazer in one hand and her handgun in the other.

"And I thought you were a good little girl", he chuckled darkly; all the playfulness had left his voice.
He swiftly got up and walked towards her, silver hair falling onto his face, Sakura took the chance to run into a cubicle, quickly locking the door behind her.
She closed her eyes and attempted to even out her breathing, she just had to think everything through.

"Hyuuga san, please come out, I'm not going to hurt you", he sang, knocking a beat onto the cubicle door.

"Yea right like I'm going to believe that. That's exactly what all the psychopaths say before they kill slash rape the girl", she yelled back.
She heard a heavy sigh.

"Please, I just want to talk. I assure you I won't hurt you", he said almost pleadingly. His fingers were drumming against the door. She could hear some heavy footsteps, pacing up and down and then all noise stopped.

"I surrender. White flag", he mumbled grumpily, he slid her tazer and her gun through the door.
Sakura grinned; the guy was obviously an amateur. She pushed her pink curls back, steadied herself, aimed her gun and kicked the door open.
There standing before her were 4 armed people ; the guy who didn't hold the elevator door, the arguing couple and the silver haired perpetrator, who was calmly sitting on the coral sofa in the corner reading an Icha Icha novel and playing with her bullets and batteries.

"Soo...Pinky are you a fan of icha icha?"

"Why?".

"Just wondering?"
Sakura sighed, her neck was cramped and her wrists were aching from being bound.

"Are we there yet?" she whined, the restraints were making her wrists sore, not to mention leaving red marks.
She was sandwiched between the sleazy senbon wielder and the lanky pervert. Both of whom were as bad as each other.
Genma was a shameless flirt, and obviously didn't take 'no' for an answer and Kakashi was just a retard...a social retard and had a passion...no, scary obsession with Icha Icha.

"Nope", came Kakashi's curt reply.

"So do you have a boyfriend?" asked Genma huskily.

"Umm here's a hint. If I didn't answer you the first 25 times, what makes you think the next 25 will work, hmm?"
Kakashi snorted, Genma gaped like a fish and they could hear deep rumbles and high pitched giggles at the front of the car that Kurenai and Asuma attempted to hide by coughing.

"The girls got a back bone", said Asuma, grinning widely at Genma's rejection.
Genma handsome features twisted into a sadistic smirk.

"Well then I'll just have to change that", he whispered into her ear.

"Sorry I can't think of an insult stupid enough for you"

"Well someone's antisocial".

"I'm not anti social...I just don't like you", Sakura huffed and turned to face Kakashi, who in turn gave her an eye crinkle.

"So pinky-"

"My name's not Pinky". She hissed out.

"Well Hyuuga sa-"

"She's not a Hyuuga, Kakashi", said the ruby eyed driver, she grinned mischievously at Sakura through the car mirror.

"Hyuuga's all have distinct characteristics and personalities, and you definitely aren't cool, calm and collected", Kurenai stated.
Sakura knew she wasn't cool, calm or collected; but having someone else say that to her felt like a slap across the face. Especially since that 'someone' was a suspected criminal.
The insult echoed in her mind alongside a certain term that haunted her ever since she was young.
A term that Sasuke used quite loosely ...
the term 'stupid'.
She was 'not cool', 'not calm' 'not collected'...
Haruno Sakura had an epiphany... and not the good kind either.
She finally realised that she wasn't the brightest spark in the current.
How could she actually believe that the cleverly disguised man would just hand over her weapons?
How could she just follow a 'suspicious' woman somewhere quiet and secrete?
How could she slap Uchiha Itachi across the face?

"We all witnessed your outburst in the restaurant and your brave attack on the Uchiha was quite refreshing", said Asuma his deep laughter could be heard throughout the car.

"Don't kid yourself, you might as well tell us who you are cause you are not Hyuuga Hinata-"

"how the hell can you be so sure".

"Because pinky", Sakura's eye twitched at the nickname.

" Hyuuga Hinata has been following me around for months for having 'connections' with Hatake. I'm pretty sure I know my cop when I see her", Kurenai continued.

"There are plenty of Hinata's in the world", she countered, green eyes glazing over challenging the woman with her 'poker face'.

"But there's only one Hyuuga Hinata in Konoha and you have the standard Konohan handgun. Also the Hyuuga family is a very old, prestigious clan in Konoha and their most distinctive features are their pale eyes and dark hair. And you definitely don't fit any of that criteria".
Sakura sniffed.

"So what is your name?"

"Ten Ten"

"Her names Haruno Sakura", stated Asuma, holding her orange wallet (gift from Naruto) in his thick hand and pinching her drivers license.

"You know going through someone's bag is a federal crime", she yelled.

"Well... I think that's the last thing on my mind right now Haruno san", answered Asuma.
Sakura sighed it was definitely going to be a long night.

-Back at the restaurant-

"Sooo... I wonder what's taking Sakura long", said Shisui nervously.

"She's probably taking a dump hn".

"The food here was nice", stated Sasori.

"Oh yea, it was, wasn't it?"

"Hnn yea, the food was amazing yea".

There was an awkward silence.

"Where is that girl", it was the first time Itachi spoke, his voice was dangerously low and his eyes murderous.

"Itachi man, it's a lady thing, let it go yea".

"Excuse me". Itachi's death glare found its new victim and that victim was a naive, stingy little blonde who didn't know when to keep his mouth shut.

"Shisui made me say it yea, don't hurt me unn", whimpered Deidara.
Shisui glared at Deidara.

"Does she know who I am".

"Probably not, she is a bit...simple", Shisui answered trying to help his new partner.

"No one touches the face and lives", growled Itachi.

You see the truth is Uchiha Itachi had no ill intentions with Sakura, he didn't even find her attractive but Itachi was a good guy. His friend Kisame was hounding him for a girlfriend, cause quite frankly Kisame was ugly- he wasn't blessed with Uchiha-like looks. Sakura seemed a great match for him; she was smart, had a great future ahead of her and she didn't look like a girl who would judge someone based on their looks, especially since she was wearing hideous clothes and knock off shoes.
She seemed perfect for Kisame.
The assumptions she made about him were fine, he was used to it, and he knew people were just jealous of his success. Who wouldn't they be jealous of him?
But then she touched the face...his precious, precious face.
His girlfriend... hell his own mother wasn't allowed to touch his face without his permission.

"So what are you going to do to her un?" asked Deidara sheepishly.
You could hear Itachi's ragged breathing, his hair had fallen over his face.

"Now Itachi what has Mikoto san told you about keeping grudges, they're not good for your health".

"...grrr...".

"There is something evil there", Sasori motioned towards Itachi.

"Now if Itachi starts croaking i'm getting the hell out of here", Deidara whispered back ferociously.

After finally figuring out her name Sakura had remained silent throughout the journey, she refused to tell them anything else. She mentally cursed herself for letting go of her handbag.

"I want a milkshake", said Kurenai.

"Are you guys hungry?" she asked.

"Hell yea, all this kidnapping has made me work up an appetite", said Genma stretching his long arms.

"You did nothing", deadpanned Kakashi.

"Course I did, I dictated all your jobs", stated Genma proudly.
Kurenai rolled her ruby eyes.

"Genma come here, I need to tell you something", said Asuma quietly, his laughing eyes had turned serious.

"I'm serious, I can tell you your future".

"Shut up you bull shitter"

"Your future holds pain and misfortune"
Genma moved closer to the man infront of him, he was curious to why Asuma was suddenly so serious.
Kakashi yawned and stretched his own arms, his large hand was directly behind Genma's head and then WHACK!

"Oww wtf is wrong with you, you know I'm sensitive to pain", he hissed, holding his head.

"Told you I could read the future"

"This is a bloody conspiracy. You're all against me", Genma huffed and turned away, glaring at his window.
Kurenai ignored the three's mini brawl and eyed Sakura through the mirror, her skin had paled and her wrists were bright red, she felt a pang of guilt as she watched Sakura stare painfully at her wrists.
Yes, Kurenai was a criminal, but she was also a woman and a future mother... and this girl was someone's child.

"So Haruno san are you hungry?" she asked softly

"No", Sakura answered weakly. She was really tired; the car journey was causing her head to feel light.

"Kakashi why don't you loosen her wrists, she's not going to go anywhere's she's barricaded between you and Genma", said Kurenai her eyes were full of concern.
Kakashi's strong hands began to undo the restraints.
Sakura was surprised, but was too tired to react to his ministrations.
Her eyes began to close; his little massage was easing the pain. The way his big hands were rubbing gentle circles on her wrists was relaxing.
Genma and Asuma were busily fighting and Kurenai had both eyes on the road, so no one really noticed.
And then he stopped, much to her dismay.

"Wait, I need to pick Pakkun up", he shouted.

"From where", asked Kurenai incredulously? A pregnant woman should not be denied her cravings.

"Aoki's doggy care centre".

"That's like half an hour away".

"And your point is..."

"Hell no, I'm hungry pick him up tomorrow".

"But then who's going to sleep with me"

"Man you're sick", said Genma sniggering, Genma was awarded with another smack across the head by Kakashi.

"How bout we pick him up after we get food".

"So where do you propose we go Kurenai ", asked Asuma smiling brightly.

"Mc Donald's".

AUTHORS NOTE: Sorry for the wait, I kinda gave up, but after cleaning out my laptop I decided to upload some old stuff. I'll upload all the chapters I wrote ... Sorry and Thank you for all the reviews :)

Reviews Appreciated
xxx

P.S sorry for any spelling mistakes, computers made my eyes fuzzy x