Author's Note: I own nothing! Random Skilene oneshot. Probably not that good, but whatev. Enjoy!

*Speachless*

During a meeting at Central Park Zoo the conversation had somehow shifted to Skipper gloating about how nothing can make him speachless.

"Absolutly nothing that any of you all can do can make me speachless. I have something to say for anything anyone dishes out at me. Comprende?" Skipper paced back and forth with a smug smirk on his face. He loved to boast about himself. Not as much as Ringtail did but close enough.

"Skipper there has to be certain situations in which you a rendered without anything to say." Mason pointed out.

"Sorry simien but no. In fact since all of you all seem to believe that you can make me speachless I'll let each of you try. Rules are each can only try once and everyone must at least attempt tp try before midnight tonight. Any questions? Yes Private?"

"Um..can we work in groups sir?"

"All right fine you can work in groups if you wish, but each person can only try once. No joining a group and then trying solo. Kapish." When everyone gave a nodd in agreement. Marlene smirked ,already knowing what she'd do in order to make him speachless. She also smirked feeling confident that her plan would be the only one to work.

After the meeting ended she headed back to her habitat. Other zoo habitants were already swarming around Kowalski, Private, and Rico, obviously thinking that a member of his team could help them out. She did not want to be caught up in that mess. She was able to break through the crowd, bumping into Leonard the Koala in the process. The poor, rude koala immediatly ran away from Marlene with his tail between his legs, hiding behind Joey, who was giving him a questioning look.

"Coward," Marlene muttered onder her breath. She heard some people call her name as well but ignored them, heading directly to her home.

Once there she waited until Alice brought her her food. After breakfast she simply watched the clouds since it was Sunday the zoo was closed. She'ld look up every now and then to see some of the residents already attempting to make Skipper speachless. It was extremely intertaining. It was Phil and Mason who were making a statue of Skipper out...crap! Gross. Marlene could see that Kowalski and Private were currently throwing up. Rico looked...well...how Rico looks-crazy. Skipper's eye twitched but other then that she see that he replied smoothly. The chimps left, heads bowed in defeat.

'Um...wow!' Marlene thought to herself. That left her speachless...and disgusted.

Next was the lemurs doing...God knows what! Skipper replied cooly, though shee couldn't hear him she knew that whatever he said was probably clever and funny. She laughed when she saw Julien start an arguement with Skipper. Maurice had already ran away, dragging Mort with him. Finally after what seemed like thirty-minutes Julien stomped away, most likey making up some kind og escuse about how kings shouldn't wast their time argueing with comoners. The look on Julien's face was priceless, if she had a camera she would've taken a picture of it.

Next up was Bada and Bing she didn't bother to pay attention to what they were doing. Most likely telling knock-knock joke and then forgetting the punchline. She fell asleep.

Hours later she awakened by someone shaking her. It was Private.

"Hrmm...what is it Private?" she looked outside to see that it was dark out, "hmmm...night already..." she mumbled something inaudible.

"Um...Marlene...Skippa` sent me to get you...you're the only one that hasn't tried." Private looked embarresed.

"Sooo...nobody succeeded yet?" she asked feeling sorry for what ever Skipper might have spilled on Private durring his run.

Private shook his head, "Nope...Skippa`'s record stands." he smirked. Marlene thought that it was cute how he was proud of his comander's record. She almost felt sorry...almost.

Marlene smirked, "Well now...I that its time he was toppled off of his thrown." she giggled. "Go ahead and tell Skipper that my plan consists of two parts. I'll be over in a few minutes. Kay!"

Private nodded and left. Marlene went over to the mirror in her room and pulled out some cloth from behind it: Part one.

{Five minutes later}

Marlene came out of her cave home, fully dressed, and marched straight for the zoovineer shop. In her hands was a small lead pipe. It wasn't part of her plan, but she figured that it might come in handy. As she got closer to the zoovineer shop, Marlene saw that everyone was waiting for her. They were apparently curious as to what 'cute and naive' Marlene had come up with.

She called out from outside, "I'm here! Skipper you in there!"

"Yeah come on in and get it over with!" he sounded so smug. She couldn't wait to wipe that smug smirk off his face.

She walked and everyone went dead silent. The guys all gawked at her. The girls gave her strange looks. Skipper's eyes went as large as saucers and then he smirked.

She wasn't surprized when Julien wolfed a whistle. She had dressed up in a spagetti-strap dark-blood-red sundress with a lapis-lazuli hanging from a pendent around her neck. She was also wear a wig that matched her fur color. The hair on the wig reached down to base of her tail and on her head rested a shiny onyx colored tiara. Holding the pipe she looked like a warrior goddess from ancient-times.

"Well-well-well. I certainly didn't expect this. Sorry but that outfit has done the trick My record still stands, Dollface. You look lovely by the way." He winked and she rolled her eyes.

"Sorry to disappoint you but this is only faze one of my two faze plan."

That seemed to perk his interest. He walked up to her, getting right in her face. "Oh really. Then what is part two then. You gonna wack me with that." He poined to the metal in her paws.

"No. I'm gonna do this." With that she jumped him and planted a kiss on his beak. No body expected that. His entire body went limp. In the corner of her eyes she saw Kowalski sheild Private's eyes. Maurice did the same for Mort. After five minutes she broke off the kiss.

"Well Skippy. What did you think of that?" She recieved no responce, though, because the moment she finished asking him that, he fainted. "Sorry Skippy. Looks like your record's broken."

She had started to walk out when someone jumped infront of her.

"Okay, now you shall be trying to make me, the king, speachless Pretty Lady." Maurice had tried top hold Julien back, but to no avail.

"Oh really?" Marlene leaned in towards Julien as though to kiss him. Instead she tightened her grip on the pipe and swung. The pipe made direct contact with Julien, right where the sun don't shine. He buckled down, speachless.

She looked at the other guys holding up the lead pipe incase she needed it. "Anybody else want me to make them speachless?"

The guys quickly shook their heads no. Some blushing because they had almost done what Julien had done. Now all the gus looked both attracted to her and afraid of her

She smirked at their reaction. "That's what I thought!" and with that she strutted off into the moonlight.

R&R! Boy am I weird aren't I. Be honest! Or the swamp monters will hunt you down and steal you candy. Reveiw! Poette out!