The poll results:-
Apollo – 219
Hades - 5
Hermes - 105
Poseidon - 11
Zeus - 107
A Demi-God (a God anyway, see?) - 3
Please, I do not want to be cursed - 3
Ares - 1
Eros – 1
Hephaeustus - 1
None of these guys – 1
The polls are getting spicy! A lot of competition!
And THANK YOU VERY MUCH to the 'Admirers of King Zeus'! A hundred votes to the scoreboard because of you!
And to Rachel, Grace, Emily, Danielle and Brittney from the I Hate Apollo Fan-club for your votes!
All of you will receive a lightning bolt!
By the request of a faithful reader of this column, I am creating a new section, TFC or This is For Charisse. Charisse is a daughter of Poseidon, Immortal wife of Hermes and the Goddess of waves, will and determination. And before all this glory, she was just an average demigod. Any question to her must be preceded by TFC.
AD SECTION:-
1) I Hate Apollo Fan-club!
Anyone can join!
The one who wants to join our awesome club, just write a letter explaining why you want to join our club, maybe even add it in the review?
But, you will make it even if your letter sucks!
P.S. Thalia Grace is a member of our club!
2) Hermes Fan Club
If ANY of you would like to join this awesome club, please send the President, ELIZABETH! Wink wink, nod nod, nudge nudge, I know SUBTLE MUCH? But yeah, so just write me a paragraph a couple sentences, a word, whatever you want to show why you feel YOU should be in the Hermes Fan Club! Plus, if you want to be vice president, tell me how committed you would be, if you would help out for our meetings,
We welcome anyone who joins! And that includes gods!
Pip pip cheerio!
-Elizabeth Grace Lerind, President of the Hermes Fan Club :)
MESSAGES:-
M1 :) Dear Lord Zeus,
I'm very happy as the goddess of chocolate! As for immortality, I couldn't very well refuse! I also have my recipe for Hestia, and I'm sure that Demeter could find a way to convert it into ambrosia! I also have about twenty bars of breakup chocolate that Aphrodite could probably replicate and give to some of the poor girls that are suffering now... The chocolate temporarily takes away all feelings of heartbreak, quite useful. As for Apollo, the fan-girls will love my chocolate cheesecake. Here is the recipe.
Ingredients
1/3 cup butter or margarine, melted
1 1/4 cups graham cracker crumbs
1/4 cup sugar
3 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
1 (14 ounce) can EAGLE BRAND® Sweetened Condensed Milk
2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips, melted
4 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Directions
Preheat oven to 300 degrees F. Combine butter, graham cracker crumbs and sugar; press on bottom of 9-inch spring-form pan.
In large mixing bowl, beat cream cheese until fluffy. Gradually beat in EAGLE BRAND condensed milk until smooth. Add remaining ingredients; mix well. Pour into prepared pan. Bake 65 minutes or until cake center is set. Cool to room temperature. Chill thoroughly. Garnish as desired. Store leftovers covered in refrigerator.
Q1 Dear lord Zeus,
I would like to apply to become the Goddess of Ice Cream
Name: Anastasia
Child of: Poseidon
Amount of ice cream consumed per day: As much as I can eat, which is a LOT.
Why you like ice cream: It comes in so many flavors and there are a lot of things you can put on it.
What will you do if you become God/Goddess of Ice Cream: I will start creating every god/goddess their own personal ice cream flavor! and i will make your enemies have instant brain freeze every time they eat even the tiniest bit of ice cream.
A: Dear Anastasia,
You are the Goddess of Ice Cream!
Pretty name, by the way.
Q2: Lord Zeus,
Well, I have a problem. There is this freaky girl that pretends she is an exact copy of me and she steals my stuff! She is WAY overactive, she eats like a slob (she doesn't eat it, she rubs it on her face). What can I do to get her to leave me alone?
-Pleasehelpme
A: Wow, this is a weird situation.
You know, I think this girl is either trying to make fun of you or she likes you a lot. Firstly, find out which one or get your friends to do it. And react accordingly.
If she's teasing you, face her. Ask her what her problem is, why she's annoying you. Ask her whether she doesn't have a character of her own, to be aping yours.
If she's actually admiring you, you can talk her out of it. Maybe she has a severe inferiority complex, or maybe, she just doesn't know how to get your attention. She maybe be a really good friend for all we know.
Q3: Lord Zeus,
My application for becoming the Goddess of Video Games:-
Name-Maddi
Identity-Second generation demigod granddaughter of Apollo and Ares
Number of video games played a day-AS many as possible
Why do you like video games-They're fun and they let me be lazy while actually doing something
What will you do if you become goddess of video games-I will make video games in each of the gods and goddess honour.
Also,
Lord Apollo and Lord Ares
I have recently found out that I am a second generation and am your granddaughter. Will either of you claim me or do I just go to either the Ares or Apollo cabin. Please I need to get out of the Hermes cabin I am about to snap if they call me shortie one more time and trust me it will not be pretty for a lazy person I have a very...creative imagination. Thanks
P.S. to whoever claims me I will convince my friends to vote for you on the most handsome god thing.
A: Dear Madison,
You're selected to become the Goddess of Video Games. Some more creative imagination and you'll be a very popular Immortal!
Ares chose to adopt you as your parents were war-heroes. He said he has been looking for you for quite some time. You can walk in right now into Ares Cabin. Hey, haven't those guys come to carry off your baggage yet?
Q4: Dear Zeus,
Umm...no..uh...no uh romance. *walks away..*
On another note, how... nice... (sarcasm doesn't write well.) of you to laugh at me. I have read many books about you and I bet I know more about yourself than you do. Just kidding. But...if there WAS a romance (hypothetically speaking) would Poseidon and Athena explode?
-HypotheticallySpeaking (formally, Experimentgonewrong)
A: A Poseidon-Hades combo?
Are you kidding?
Never mind Athena, you're just about to start an Olympian war, miss! Those two are already furious that their daughters keep falling for my sons, now if you start it off with Nico, boom.
And Nico, well, he's not nice, you know. He'll cheat on you at the drop of a hat and without a trace of guilt! And, he's a stalker!
So forget it. Now why don't you see some nice son of Demeter?
Q5: Lord Zeus,
I can't believe you offered immortality to a child of Athena who could make a cheese cake more readily than you did to me. You call yourself Godof Justice, but you're so unfair!
- Plankton Knight
A:Oh, it's you,
You don't talk justice with me. Personally, I think Luke did more work than you will ever do. And Annabeth too. All you did was act like a jerk and you want immortality?
And anyway, you did not ask me, you asked my brother. But then, I would have killed you had you asked.
It is a no-win situation, what a pity. I'm so glad you'll be out of sight in a few decades.
By the way, what are you talking about? You refused immortality! How dare you!
Q6: Heeeeey! Here is my submission form to become goddess of cheer and poms!
Name: Lizzy Arianna Ramdena
Identity: Child of Apollo!
Number of Cheers I Do Per Day: Well, since I am on a competitive team, a school team, AND I coach two teams, probably around seventy five cheers and twenty dance routines!
Why I Like Cheer: I like cheer and poms because it makes you feel all happy in your haute uniform. But, more importantly, you get to be part of a team, and I get to do this every day. You have the ability to express you emotions and feelings by doing a routine, or shouting a cheer!
Can You Make A Cheer And Poms Routine: Of course! I just finished my latest one for my competitive team! And for the dances, just give me a remix of songs, and I will make a dance!
Example: A remix of 2012 by Jay Sean, DJ Got Us Falling In Love Again, California Gurls, and Super Bass!
What Will I Do If I Become Goddess of Cheer and Poms?: Well, I will be the peppiest person ever! I will always wear a cheer uniform, or a pair of souffle shorts and a tank, and I will help people dance to anything! Especially the Party Rock Shuffle dance! And dodging! So, I will just be a happy bubbly person, aka a CHEERLEADER! I will also be a leader at things, like if we do team building exercises, * shudder*, not fun, but its good for people who argue a lot!
YAY FOR CHEER! I will even make you Lord Zeus, your own awesome cheer to show you are the supreme leader!
-Lizzy ;) Cheersforeva!
A: Lizzy,
You're selected! Continue this enthusiasm, and you'll be the Goddess Of Cheer in no time!
Q7: Dear Lord/Uncle Zeus,
First, sorry if I have been bothering you with all of these letters, its just that I am pretty messed up...oh and I saw that John wrote you a letter. He mis-typed something. I am always saying about how um talented you are...well usually Linds and I are just talking and him and a bunch of other people are just standing here. Third, Chase and I broke up. We figured that it might be good for a little break, so its fine. Here is a question... I was wondering if you wanted to be a part of my new show on Hephaestus TV! I interview important gods, cough cough, wink wink, nudge nudge, you, Lady Hera, my father Poseidon, Hades, ANYONE WHO IS A GOD, demigods, mortals who can see through the mist, satyrs, etc. For the first episode, it would be you, Poseidon and Hades! Of course, all of you get interviewed separately, and I will tell you all questions so that way you do not freak out! If you decline, I understand, of you want to reschedule, totally fine. I even managed to get a musical guest, Kate Perry! Yeah, it took a lot of work. And I guess Apollo, Hermes, Aphrodite, and Ares ARE coming to my Halloween masquerade party, if anyone else wants to come, you can tweet it, facebook, etc...
-Elizabeth aka Talk Show Host
A: Yeah sure!
I'm always game, but it better be a separate interview if you want minimum damage. You've insured the studio, haven't you?
So, when is it?
And send in the questions beforehand.
Q8: Dear Zeus;
What is more likely, a kid of Hera (You do cheat on her a lot) or a kid of Artemis (Hey, Athena could give her advice)
-A harpy
A: You know what is more likely?
Hera turning her favor on a mortal boy or Artemis adopting a daughter.
Q9: Hello uncle,
I've a problem. Percabeth. Well, everybody know they're a couple. But only I know both of them are arguing like Hell. Okay, much worse. And they always bring me into their fight. Hey Nico, who is right? Hey Nico, tellAnnabeth she is anegomaniac. Or worse; hey Nico, pretend to have feelingsfor me so that Percy gets jealous.I'm SICK of it! Please tell me a way out.
P.S. I'm not stalking anybody. They just happen to go the same way I'm going.
-Nico de Angelo.
A : Best buddies argue, they pull in someone between them. You're right, it could be very tiring.
I've a way out. But under the condition you try your best not to stalk anybody. Or, let me rephrase, try your best to prove that you're not stalking anybody.
So, when the two come arguing to you, just blow your head off. Yell. Let all you anger come out of you. Tell them how immature they are, instead of solving or sorting the problems between themselves, they come running to you. And finish the tantrum by saying if they are behaving like children, they can break-up the relationship. That'll shock them right out of their senses. They'll argue, but they won't come to you.
QFH:-
Q: Hermes and Artemis would like to ask Hera if it is possible for Hermes and Charisse (Major OC, self-insert, AND Mary-Sue ALERT!) to get a divorce?
A: I hate divorces. They're just so sad. And spoil my mood.
Hermes and Artemis (snort), two Immortals who will NEVER get married for the opposite reasons. No, they are not asking for a divorce, you are, whoever you may be.
And the answer's no.
From Hermes.
Here's what Charisse has to say:-
First of all, there might be a chance for a divorce. A small chance. But, if ever Hermes and I will get a divorce, I'm pretty sure he's not going to end up with Artemis.
Second, it doesn't mean that because I'm his immortal wife, he only belongs to me. Sure I got jealous sometimes, but I can never change the fact that all gods need to have demigods and have affairs with mortals! You can have him too, if you want.
Third, Artemis already swore against men. She hates them. She also swore to be a virgin forever. So, it is not possible for Hermes to end up with Artemis. I'm just stating a fact. So, again, I hope you understand.
Fourth, I just want to ask why do you consider me as a Mary-Sue? Am I too perfect? Just to inform you, I'm not perfect. If only you knew all the things I had gone through and how I looked before I became a goddess.
I only ask one thing from you. Understand. Please try to understand me. Try putting yourself in my place. Also understand that there are some things you may never change.
HR:-
A very special thank you to the I Hate Apollo Fan-club;
Q1: Dear Hermes,
Can I have a autographed shirt of yours? You're way hotter than Apollo.
I vote Hermes as hottest.
- Rocker daughter of Poseidon
A: Sure! To say the truth, I'm very flattered to be called the Hottest, so I give you two shirts of mine! And thanks a lot for the vote! I'm sending a pair of shoes too!
Q2: Dear Hermes,
A daughter of Hecate? YOU DARE MISTAKE ME FOR A MERE DEMIGOD? How dare you! I cannot believe I found you attractive before. You are an insolent fool, and ...
And ...
I think the god of lies can tell that I am lying.
- I think I might have given my identity away. Stupid me.
A: Oh my dear,
You know sometimes, true feelings come rushing out in the spur of the moment, when you try and bottle it up. So don't okay?
Admit it, you have feelings for me. I'm not going to chase you around if you don't want me to. Okay, maybe I'll pull your leg once in a while, but that's all. I'm not Apollo. I understand and I'm not as selfish.
And I'm not a bad boyfriend either *=
DTA:-
Q1: Dear Aphrodite,there's this, um, guy that I really like. What do I do?
-Rocker. daughter Of Poseidon
A: Ah, you've come to the right person.
Firstly, Find out what sort of a guy he is. What sort of girls he likes. His favorite color, his favorite music.
Next, walk into a parlour. You have noticed him and now we must make him notice you! Do your hair, go for a healthy facial and a manicure and pedicure won't hurt too! But make sure you are making yourself look like how he wants you to look.
Now, go talk to him; preferably after much mirror practice. It should be natural, but disinterested. DO NOT get starry-eyed around him or you'll never get him. Do not be too cold either. Drop hints about your tastes being very alike to his.
Now, you must make it seem as though both of you end up meeting all over the place. Make sure he remembers every meeting.
I'm pretty sure he'll ask you out after this stage.
Q2: Dear Lady Aphrodite,
Umm hi. This messed up chick Elizabeth, who says she is "a demigod, and all of you are gods", psycho, recommended this to me, and she is pretty messed up so I thought I might as well try this out as well. And if you are a real goddess, I am apologizing now! Okay, here is my question. I like this guy, but the problem is, we have been friends forever! I don't know if he likes me, but I think he does because he has been dropping subtle hints. Should I make the first move, or wait to see if he does?
Truly Yours,
WhatToDo?
A: My dear skeptic,
You must wait.
But I don't say you should simply wait.
You could wear a cool dress, or change your hair style or do something similar to make a few eyes fall on you. Continue to treat him like a best friend, but look once in a while at other guys too. If he asks, looking pointedly at him and say you're tired of being single.
He'll make a move. It's always better that way.
TITA:-
First of all, thanks a lot to my Fan-club, for more than 200 votes in my name!
I love you, I Love You, I LOVE YOU! Cheer Daffodils to the lot! And a poem especially for you next chapter!
Q1: Dear Lord Apollo,
I made an agreement with the other fans in the club. They rip off the shirt, I rip off everything else. And, no, I'm not the action type, I'm more of the possessive keep-your-hands-off-my-things-unless-you-want-me-to-rip-all-of-your-hair-out-one-by-one type. And, yes, I just did call you a 'thing' (and let me quote what I just said 'keep-your-hands-off-my-THINGS'). I'll stop insulting your haikus if you make one especially for me (and about me- your NUMBER ONE FAN!).
Sincerely,
Insane.
P.S. When you do visit the club, you better not flirt with any of the other fans- I'm possessive, and I will rip out their hair if they do try to sweet talk to you.
P.P.S. When are you coming? I'm getting anxious, gorgeous... *wink wink*
A: Point taken, pretty thing;
I'll be up with a lovely haiku just for you when we meet next. And let the when be a surprise * wink *
Q: Dear Lord Apollo,
I just wanted to say that Elizabeth daughter of Poseidon did not send you that letter, I did. I already told Rachel sorry and you are totally right about the oracle being a great occupation. I do not know if you already figured out that Lizzie did not send it, but I wanted to tell you personally. So, please do not smite her, and if I ever do this again, feel free to kill me...
Sincerely Yours,
Feeling Guilty
A: Aww,
Why am I ever gonna kill a pretty girl like you, huh? Don't do this again baby, okay?
And I want you to join my fan-club.
Q special:Um, Apollo,
I think you're the most irritating, sadistic, sick, selfish excuse for a God I've ever seen. Damn you! I have to see your smug face every night in your oracle dreams and that drives me crazy. Get lost.
-A-seriously-pissed-off-author.
A for Apollo: Oh, baby,
I love this column of yours 'Ask Jove . Com'. I really do. I know Father only gives you the notes and you have to put a lot of effort yourself. And I think you nickname for me is really, really cute! Oh don't pretend, Father doesn't call me Goldilocks, you do. You are in love, with awesome me!
You know what? It is very funny; I did not send any oracle dreams for the past twenty days.
Get lost? And if I leave you, who'll give you cheer daffodils huh? Darling, I love you! for being the first person to vote for me! :-*
Q special: In love? (yelp) With you? Are you bonkers? I did not keep that nickname. I did not get any oracle dreams for twenty days. I'm talking about the ones before it. And I did not vote for you.
- A-now-fuming-and-indignant-at-the-humiliation-author.
A for Apollo: (sings) Someone's in denial. Someone's so in denial.
Okay, if not me, whom did you vote for?
Q special: I voted for Hades, you narcissist. I HATE YOU.
- A-now-take-it-in-your-face-revenger.
A for Apollo: WHAT? WHEN?
Q special: Just now.
- Ha.
A for Apollo: Just now, um, hey . . . . . hey, that means you voted for me before, right?
Q special: NO!
A for Apollo: Yes, baby, yes. I am sooo right.
Q special: DON'T call me baby.
A for Apollo: What about honey, sweetheart, darling . . .
Q special: What about something called my name?
A for Apollo: So it's a date.
Q special: What? No! No way. Get lost.
A for Apollo: Ah, back to square one. My dear, why all this pretending?
Q special: (kicking, screaming, breaking sounds)
A for Apollo: Are you still there, gorgeous?
Q special: *beep* Due to unavoidable technical faults, the customer you are looking for is offline. Please try later. *beep*beep*
A for Apollo: Hey, hey, hey, I am a God! I have the best online connection ever!
Q special: No you don't.
A for Apollo: So you are there. Bet you didn't have the heart to snub me like that.
Q special: ! * beep *