Chapter 5 - Into the water (3045)

Charles reached over and placed his hand on Erik's jaw line as they kissed. He felt Erik's fingers grasped the hair in his neck and he shuddered. He wished he could kiss him forever. Not care about the world, the government or his disability. Why couldn't it all be just Erik; Erik with his beautiful mind and soul.

He felt Erik fumble with his buttons, and how he pushed a hand inside his jacked. He pulled back and cleared his throat, averting his eyes again.

'C-Charles?' Erik stammered.

'Erik – I'm not sure if I –

'It's alright,' Erik whispered as he noticed his discomfort.

'But - you need to know that I don't know – that I don't know what I can and can't…'

Erik nodded and Charles detected a hint of disappointment in his eyes.

'I'm –I'm sorry,' Charles apologized and Erik's eyes flashed back to his.

'Don't be,' he said and shook his head.

Charles' lip curled ever so slightly in a smile. Erik mirrored him and dropped his gaze. For a moment, they just sat there, not looking at each other, but their hands were still where they had left them before they had ended the kiss. Charles leaned forwards and kissed Erik's head before resting his cheek against the man's head. But Erik looked up and spoke with a sly grin on his face.

'I believe there is a swimming pool downstairs?'

'Yes, but –

'Come,' he said as he got up, picked up the helmet and walked over to the door, holding it open for him. Charles didn't move.

'Come,' he repeated and walked around the wheelchair and took the handles and began to push. Charles couldn't do anything about it, so he let Erik roll him out of the study. They crossed the hallway and Charles pointed at the lift he had installed a few weeks earlier. Erik pulled the gate open, rolled Charles inside and pulled the gates shut before pushing a button. The lift took them downstairs.

'You know very well I can't swim, Erik,' Charles spoke as he was pushed out of the lift and through the hallway. They passed the doors of Hank's lap and Charles prayed the young mutant wouldn't hear them.

'I'm not letting you go in on your own,' Erik chuckled as he pushed Charles through the doors and into the swimming pool area.

Charles looked at the blue, shimmering water of the pool which he had only swam in a few times. His mother had it built so she could keep herself in good form. But it had never meant to be for fun. Charles had had it refilled since their arrival here for anyone who wanted to swim a few laps. He knew Sean and Alex used it occasionally, so he hoped they would skip today.

Erik stopped the wheelchair and put it on the brakes. He walked over to the edge of the pool, crouched down and felt the water.

'Now,' he said as he stood up to full length again and turned to Charles. 'Take your clothes off.'

'I -,' Charles stammered. 'I – are you serious?' he asked as he raised his eyebrows.

'Yes,' Erik said and he took the helmet from Charles' hands, took his cloak off and laid them both down on the ground, far away from the water.

Charles looked troubled as he slid his jacket down his shoulder, leaning forwards to pull his arms out of the sleeves. His tie came off next and together with his jacket, dropped them down on the floor with Erik's clothes before bending forwards to untie his shoelaces. He realised he would come to a point where he couldn't undress further on his own but he tried to postpone that moment for as long possible.

Erik had unbuttoned his scarlet robes and also placed them down on the floor He noticed Charles fumble with his shoes and he crouched down and helped him out of his shoes. Charles held his breath as his socks came off and how Erik gently placed his feet back on the feet rest. But he never pulled his hand back from Charles' foot and he had to force himself to start breathing again as Erik looked up at him. He felt something stir in his lower stomach.

Erik removed his hand again and got up again, unbuckling his belt. Charles swallowed and looked away, now fumbling with the buttons of his shirt and the buckle on his belt. He knew this wasn't going to be like last time but he couldn't help but feel discomfort all over again.

Erik pulled his legs out of his trousers and tossed them on the pile of clothes. Charles pulled his shirt up over his head and when his head reappeared, he found Erik by the side of his wheelchair, reaching out for his trousers.

'Erik,' he said and grabbed the man's hands, who had wanted to open his trousers. 'I – I'm really not—'

'I've seen you before, Charles,' Erik whispered. 'Don't be embarrassed.'

'I wasn't like this last time.'

'I don't care,' Erik replied and forced his hands loose and started to undo Charles' trousers. Even though he didn't feel Erik's hands, the idea made him feel lightheaded and his stomach tumble.

'Come,' Erik said quietly as he grabbed the sides of his trousers and with effort, managed to pull them down Charles' bottom. Charles couldn't feel more embarrassed about anything else in the whole world.

He pulled Charles' legs out of the trousers before tossing them down with the rest of the clothes.

Charles felt odd to sit in his chair with only his underwear on. He watched how Erik picked up the clothes and brought them as far away from the water as possible, avoiding the chlorine that could stain them.

He returned to Charles, who knew what would come next.

Erik spread his arms, palms facing up and asked: 'May I?'

Charles sighed and shrugged.

Erik leaned in and hooked one arm under Charles' armpit and one in the hollow of his knees. He couldn't even feel his touch. Erik lifted him off slowly, his face only showing effort for a second as he stood back up. Charles quickly hooked his arm around Erik's neck, afraid of falling down.

Erik approached the side of the water, where the stone steps descended into the pool. He carefully started to walk down the stairs. Down he went and the water first reached Charles' feet. But he didn't feel anything. The deeper Erik went, the higher the water came and it soon reached Charles's waist. The water was cold so he gasped slightly. But the further they went in and the longer they were in, the warmer it became. But panic soon washed over him like the water did.

'Erik, I'll drown,' he said as his grip around other mutant's neck tightened. 'I'll drown.'

'I'll stay in the shallow part,' Erik said. 'I won't let you drown.'

But Charles still didn't feel at ease in the water, especially when Erik lowered his legs and Charles quickly flung his other arm around his neck.

' I'll stay close to the side,' Erik continued, and moved over to the edge of the pool. Charles reached out for the side at once, trying to find support that was more solid than Erik.

'Calm down, Charles,' Erik cooed. 'You don't need legs to be able to keep your head above the water,' he added and he wrapped an arm around Charles' back, the other on the small of his backbefore he let him fall back on him gently. Charles moved with his arms, sending water everywhere. The back of his head soon rested against Erik's shoulder, his face next to his. He felt Erik's hand on the small of his back, supporting him. It was until Erik spoke that Charles understood what he was trying to do:

'You can float, Charles,' he spoke softly in his ear.

And he relaxed as he let himself float in the water, his head supported by Erik to make sure he wouldn't go under. He took deep breaths, the air in his lungs causing him to float better. He sighed and closed his eyes.

'How's that?' Erik asked with the same soft voice.

'Fantastic,' Charles breathed. Floating like this he could even forgot he didn't have his legs anymore. He could float even though he couldn't swim.

'I thought it would be,' Erik muttered against his wet hair and Charles slowly opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling.

After a while, Erik spoke.

'Charles?'

'Hmh?'

'What would have become of us if I hadn't –'

Charles turned, forcing Erik to hook his arm under his armpit, to prevent him from sinking.

'Are you regretting –'

'No,' Erik spoke firmly and the bit of hope that had started to fill Charles' heart disappeared again. 'I – I'd just like to know –'

Charles' eyes raced over his friends' face and wondered what he expected him to say. Erik had no idea what would have happened if –

'I – I don't know, Erik,' he admitted. 'I – I really want this school to happen. I suppose I would have - asked you to stay.'

Erik averted his eyes and nodded.

'Would you have stayed?' Charles asked with raised eyebrows and Erik looked back into his eyes. After a short moment, Erik nodded.

'We promised not to part,' Erik reminded him again.

Charles felt a lump appear in his throat and was now the one to look away from Erik's face.

'Things are different, Erik,' he said. 'I – I cannot be the man I was before –'

'I'm not expecting you to.'

'That's not what I mean,' Charles shook his head and looked up at the other mutant. 'I'm – I'm disabled. There are many things I can't do anymore, my friend.'

'I know.'

'I - ,' Charles looked away again, unable to face Erik as he spoke the following words: 'What good am I to you? It – it won't be like –'

'Like that night in the library?'

'Yes – I mean - no.'

'Or when we were in your bedroom?'

'Ye - No,' he repeated and shook his head, lowering his gaze in shame. 'We can't be like that again, Erik. I'm – I'm sorry but I'm no good.'

'You are to me Charles,' Erik brought his hand to Charles' chin and turned it so he was facing him again. 'There are other ways –'

'I –'

And he felt Erik's lips touch his again – gently, but with more tenderness than before. The other mutant wrapped his other arm around Charles' waist, bringing him closer and guiding his useless legs around his own waist. Their flesh had touched been touching all the time since Erik had lifted him out of the chair and into the water, but now that their touches had turned into intimacy, Charles could feel himself shiver as he felt Erik's warm flesh touch his chest.

He wrapped one arm around Erik's neck, and the other around the man's waist and broke off the kiss before resting his cheek against Erik's collarbone. He had missed his friend so much that the moment seemed unreal. Never had he thought he would get to touch Erik's flesh again and to kiss his warm mouth. He wished the day at the beach had never happened. He wished he wasn't disabled. He wanted to use his legs; walk the ground and love Erik like he deserved to be loved. As far as he knew, he was the only one who knew about Erik's past. But Erik deserved more than him.

'What are you thinking about?' Erik suddenly asked.

'Nothing,' Charles sniffed as his nose was stinging suddenly as more and more he realised he would never be a good lover to his friend. 'I – nothing,' he said as he lifted his head up again.

Erik sighed deeply and pressed his cheek against Charles' temple, exhaling as he spoke: 'How I now wished I had your mutation.' Charles could feel his breath in his ear and shivered slightly. 'But since I haven't –,'the other mutant continued. 'You'll just have to tell me what's wrong.'

But it took Charles a few seconds before he managed to speak again.

'I – I fell in love with you because I hoped I could mend you, Erik.'

Erik pulled back and looked down at him. Charles wasn't sure if he was touched or insulted for his jaws were clenched.

'I don't need fixing, Charles,' he spoke his voice clear as if he wanted Charles to know never to try to fix him. 'I don't want to change who I am, Charles.'

'I know – I know,' Charles said, holding up his hand to let Erik know he had to calm down. 'What I meant was – I had –I had hoped I could fill the void in your soul.'

And Erik looked down at him, his expression changing as his eyebrows rose and his mouth opened slightly. Charles placed his hand in the other mutant's neck to make sure he would look at him as he spoke:

'You are beautiful, Erik,' and he ran his thumb past the other mutant's jaw. 'You are exquisite. Even though you have made the wrong decisions I will always admire and love you Erik.'

Erik smiled slightly but Charles hadn't finished yet:

'But you are hurt – and you'll always be. That day with the satellite – I saw that and from that moment I wanted to help you.'

He paused and shook his head.

'But I can't – not – not in this state.'

'That's not true, Charles,' Erik breathed as he pulled Charles closer, their faces almost touching as his spoke: 'You are everything to me.'

Charles looked up, baffled by the other man's words. A heavy lump filled his throat and as he wanted to swallow, he found himself gasping slightly at Erik's words for he had never thought to hear such confessions from Erik. It was the last thing he had expected Erik to say to him.

And Erik kissed him and Charles had never felt so warm and lightheaded. It seemed the kiss lasted for hours, but only after a minute, Erik pulled back abruptly and seemed to look at something over Charles' head.

'W-What?' Charles asked as he examined Erik's face, turning his head to look at the door. And then he heard it too: footsteps. In the hallway

'They shouldn't see us,' Erik said and looked back down at Charles and for a moment, he thought he could see panic fill the other mutant's eyes.

'Go – now!' Charles said for he too didn't want anyone to know what was happening here. He knew it would seem odd if he would to be found in the swimming pool on his own, but he feared the others would be a lot more hostile towards Erik.

Erik shook his head slightly but Charles drew his hands away from him and took hold of the side of the pool.

'Go – I'll be fine!' and he pushed Erik slightly towards the stairs of the pool.

And Erik gave a nod and made his way over to the side of the pool as well, pulling himself out of the water. He sat crouched and turned to take Charles' face between his hands and kissed him.

'I'll be back,' he promised and ran his finger over Charles' lips.

'You better be,' Charles said longingly. Erik smiled and let go of his face and stood up, rushing over to grab a towel. Charles placed his fingers on his temple and tried to concentrate as he watched Erik gather his robes and helmet. He was about to leave through the emergency exit when he looked around one more time before he closed the door behind in – just when the other doors opened. Charles dropped his hands at once and immediately turned to the doors, seeing the massive figure of Hank look at him – baffled.

'P-Professor?' his heavy voice echoed through the hall

'Hank,' Charles said with his usual voice. 'I – I was just taking a swim.'

'How – did you get in?'

Charles realised he couldn't say either Sean or Alex had helped him in for Hank could ask them if that was true.

'I want my dignity to stay intact, Hank,' Charles said, as if he tried to say he had got in himself in a most embarrassing way.

'Right—,' was all what Hank said. 'I'll – leave you then-,'

'Actually, Hank – could you help me out?' Charles asked as he nodded towards his chair. 'I realise now that getting out will be a lot more difficult than getting in.'

Hank gave a nod and picked up a towel from one of the shelves and draped it over the wheelchair before he went over to the side of the pool where Charles was. He crouched down and hooked his arms underneath Charles' armpits and pulled him up so he was sitting on the edge of the pool. He then hooked an arm underneath Charles' legs in the same way Erik had carried him in, and lifted him off the floor. He sat him down in his chair and wrapped the towel around his shoulders.

'Thank you Hank,' Charles said as if it was one of the normal things in life. But on the inside, he was cringing with discomfort.

Hank handed him another towel and Charles dried his hair as he spoke: 'I would appreciate it if you wouldn't tell anyone about my adventure down here.'

'Of course,' Hank said as he picked up Charles' clothes and walked over to the back of the wheelchair and started to push him out in the hall.

Hank brought him back to his bedroom, where he helped him dress. They didn't talk until Hank was about to leave. He had placed his hand on the doorknob but turned to look at the professor.

'He was here, wasn't he? Mr. Lensherr?'

Charles looked up at the young mutant and pondered for a moment what to say. He then nodded and averted his gaze. 'Yes – he was here.' He said.

He brought his fingertips together and looked down at his lap.

'Magneto was here.'

-End-

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