How Do You Really Feel? (A Yu-Gi-Oh! fanfic)

Rated: T

Pairing: Puppyshipping. (Joey x Seto)

Summary: Puppyshippy. Their one-sided relationship takes a nasty turn after Joey decides he won't let Kaiba take advantage of him anymore.

Chapter 1 - Morning Regret (Posted 30 June 2011)

Joey woke up that morning like he did every Saturday morning for the past few months. Depressed. Sure, he was in a warm, soft bed and he was all cuddled up to the love of his life, but it really wasn't all that great. Because he knew it would be ending soon. As soon as the person next to him woke up, he'd tell Joey to get out. And then Joey would leave, feeling angry and sorry for himself, promising himself he'd never let this happen again. And so they wouldn't talk to each other all week and Joey would be convinced that he's finally broken free... that is until Friday night when he'd get a call from his drunken, desperate lover, begging him to come over. He'd go because he'd think maybe this time would be different, that maybe this time he'd hear the words he's been just aching to hear. Those three little words that he'd said so many times, but never heard in return. It was the same every week.

And this time, Joey was more determined than ever to bust out of the shackles that held him here. He knew he had to do something to break the cycle, or else he'd just keep coming back and letting himself be taken advantage of. He'd done his best to be patient with his lover, to wait until he was ready to admit his feelings, but his heart just couldn't take it any more. It seemed like every week, he fell further and further into a darkness that threatened to claim him if he didn't pull himself away soon.

That's why he let go of the body next to him instead of waiting for him to wake. That's why he stood and quietly dressed. He padded around the room and picked up anything they'd knocked over in their haste the previous night and placed it nicely back where it belonged. And he silently opened the bedroom door and tried to creep out before the sleeping one woke, but with his first step, the floor creaked loudly and a rustle came from the bed.

"Joey?" the rough voice sounded confused.

"Yeah." said blond answered as tears threatened to fall from his eyes. He couldn't turn to face the other boy, and he had to fight really hard to keep his voice from shaking. "I was just on my way out. I didn't mean to disturb you."

"You're leaving?" he sounded hurt. Joey's resolve wavered, and he thought about apologizing and asking what he should do, but he couldn't. He didn't want this anymore.

"Yeah. You always tell me to leave anyway. So I figured I'd get a head start."

"You don't have to go..."

"Heh." Joey chuckled darkly. "You say that now. But we both know that as soon as I walk back over there, something will click inside your head and you'll realize you never wanted me here in the first place. And you'll yell at me. And I'll yell back and we'll go back and forth for a few minutes until you tell me you hate me and I run outta here crying."

"I don't hate you."

"How much did you have to drink last night?" Joey asked cautiously. "You must still have a little alcohol in your system to be awake and saying things like that to me. I'm leaving. I'd advise you not to drink anymore, but that'd just be a waste of my time as usual. And I'd ask you not to call me anymore, but that'd be a waste too. So I'm just going to tell you that I won't take your calls. I'm not coming back here anymore. Not for this."

"You don't mean that." the other voice laughed.

"It's different this time. I can't take this anymore. You'll get over it and you'll find someone else to take my place. You won't even notice I'm gone." Joey hung his head and didn't bother listening to anything the other man might have said to him. He just left the room and closed the door behind him.

He walked quickly through the halls, feeling extremely claustrophobic as he imagined them closing in on him, trapping him there forever. But he made it to the door and ran outside, going as far as he could as fast as he could, vowing never to step foot inside the Kaiba mansion ever again.