A/N: Inspired by my own actions, pathetically enough. I ran into the Spanish classroom my sophomore year of high school and said to one of my best friends, "Heather, please! Brett keeps trying to ask me out and I think he's creepy. If he asks again, can I say that you're my girlfriend?" – Mind you, I knew then that she used to have a crush on me because she's bi, and she was mad at me for a while for pulling the stunt, but it was a pretty good plan despite all that. Want someone off your back? Act as disinterested as possible. Even if that means being gay. Or, if you are gay, pretend to be straight! :'D

But the idea spawned this oneshot, and things turn out a little differently. :3

"Hey, buddy," comes Alex Summers' voice as startling as thunder as he suddenly comes up from behind Sean and drops his arm across the back of the redhead's shoulders. "Can I ask for a favor?"

"Jesus!" Sean exclaims, jumping a bit as he pauses his pacing down the hallway, headed toward the kitchen for a snack. He's been living here for about a year now, it being months and months after all the bad shit that went down in Cuba, and through all that time before right now, Alex has never been so oddly friendly. "What do you want?"

"Oh, nothing much; I just thought that, since we're friends and all and you've saved my ass a few times and I've saved yours, you wouldn't mind helping me out with something pretty minor," Alex shrugs, keeping his arm around Sean. He grins, biting his bottom lip a little, and smacks Sean's chest with his free hand, patting twice. "Come on, don't give me that confused scowl, Banshee. I really need your help with this."

Sean eases Alex's arm from around him. "Okay, sure, I'll help you… depending on what it is. You're kinda fidgety, man. Did you break one of Professor X's expensive vases or statues again? 'Cause I don't want to cover for you and get in trouble," he wants to know as he quirks a brow upward.

Alex laughs. "Uh, no, nothing like that." He stops and faces the redhead, causing the other to stop walking as well. Alex says seriously this time, "Look, will you help me or not?"

Sean makes a face, but finally nods. "Yeah, okay, you've goaded me enough. What d'ya need?"

Alex says in a rush, looking away to study the pattern on the carpet that trails down the center of the hardwood floored hallway, "I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend for, like, two minutes to get this annoying-creepy-stalker-girl off my back." He sucks in air, glancing up. "No big deal, right?"

Sean deadpans, then blushes, then bursts out laughing while holding his gut and bending over slightly. The blond stares at him, a strange, offended expression on his handsome face.

"I'm not kidding, Sean! And it's not funny! She won't leave me the fuck alone no matter how many hints I drop that I don't want to date her because she's weird and obsessed with me, and I figured that, if I introduce you as my boyfriend to her, she'll back right off!" Alex says hotly, his ears burning and his fists clenched at his sides.

"Alex, you have a backwards, twisted mind; prison must have really screwed you up," he says with a shake of his head, standing up straight again. Alex's eyes flicker over how Sean's mop of a hairdo bounces, wavy and strawberry-blond. "Does the Professor know about this?"

Alex snorts, folding his arms over his chest as he glances away for a second. "Of course he does. I can't think without him hearing about it. Actually, he's already told me not to do it, saying that it could blow up in my face or backfire later, but I told him that I'll learn this lesson on my own, thanks," Alex relays with a sort of nodding shrug. He peers over at Sean again and moves his arms to clamp both hands down onto the sonic mutant's shoulders, shaking them a little before he says, "Please, Sean. I won't ask for another stupid thing again if you do this for me. I really don't want this girl to keep buggin' me; it's starting to freak me out."

Sean exhales slowly through his nose in a sigh, but he relents with a small half-nod. "Fine. I'll do it. – But if you get handsy on me and touch my ass or something, dude, then I am not talking to you for a week at least."

The blond grins, lightly slapping Sean's biceps as he releases the other teen, and laughs as he starts to walk away. "Cool. Thanks. Meet me in the garage at noon tomorrow; we're going into town to ditch this clingy bitch once and for all."

XxX

As soon as he sees her, the redhead thinks two things: pretty, and high-maintenance.

She's short, thin, bleach-blonde, green-eyed, and hyper as fuck. She literally has all the qualities of an obsessed fan who hunts down a celebrity and ties them to a bed and does weird stuff to them; or, at least, she acts like the type to keep locks of hair and old chewing gum.

"Alex!" she says brightly, in a bubbly, giggly tone. She only sees him at first, and she jumps into a hug, her arms wrapping around Alex's neck as she leans up, pecks a kiss on his chin, and very clearly presses her breasts into Alex's chest before letting go and talking a couple steps back. "I missed you, sweetie."

Alex rolls his eyes, sending Sean a quick, do-you-see-what-I-mean? glance the other boy's way. Sean nods minutely, and the exchange goes unnoticed by the girl in front of them on the sidewalk.

She finally sees Sean, and with a plastic smile, she looks between Alex and Sean for a moment. "Oh, who's this? Is he a friend of yours? Any friend of dreamy Alex Summers is a friend of his girlfriend's!" She looks to Sean and holds out a hand. "Hi, nice to meet you; I'm Sandra."

The redhead resists a grimace. He forces a small smile of his own instead. The mutant is about to shake her hand and introduce himself when Alex cuts in.

"He's Sean, and I've been meaning to tell you about him for a while now, Sandra," he says quickly, and Sandra drops her hand.

"Oh?" She says, looking puzzled but refusing to completely drop her smile, as tight as it's become. She glances between then, instant jealousy evident on her features as she claps her hands in front of her and leans her weight onto one foot. "And why is that?" She eyes Sean coldly, and he can practically feel the icy burn despite the fact that it's the late spring.

Alex steels himself and states firmly, "We're not dating, Sandra. We met at the grocery store and had coffee once afterward. I never took you out besides that. But you still keep calling me and setting up arrangements that I didn't agree to, and I keep trying to let you down easy, but you're not taking the hint. So I thought that, before you get in too deep, you should know that Sean, here? Yeah, he's my boyfriend. I'm gay, Sandra," Havok explains in a slightly wavering voice near the end. He looks at Banshee for a second, catching the redhead swallowing and emitting a soft, "yeah," under his breath from his pink lips.

Sandra blinks, as if about o cry or scream, and she straightens up and places her hands onto her hips. "I-if that's true, then kiss him. Because someone like you being gay, Alex? That's hard to believe without some proof," she returns with false bravado, her jaw clenching at the end.

Alex raises his eyebrows, shrugs like it's normal, and says, "Of course. 'S not like I don't kiss him all the time anyway."

Sean's face pales significantly and he turns – too fast – to face Alex, a panicked look on his freckled face. "What! I can't do this!" he hisses sharply as Alex brings their faces close together, his hand cupping Sean's chin.

"Don't sweat it, bud. It'll be over in seconds. Just pretend that I'm a chick and kiss me." Alex replies too casually in an equally quiet whisper. He then presses forward before Banshee can get another word in.

Kissing Alex is not what Sean thought it would be.

He thought it would be disgusting. He thought it would feel weird (in that this-is-so-wrong sort of way). He thought Alex would taste gross, like burgers or something. He also thought he wouldn't have to taste Alex at all, because it would be a peck on the lips and nothing more.

But as it stands in these few seconds, Alex presses his lips tenderly to Sean's, and then pries the redhead's mouth open with a smooth movement of his lips and jaw, and slips his tongue into Sean's mouth, passionately playing with Sean's tongue for a few milliseconds. And Sean has to respond to play the part he agreed to, but he also kind of wants to kiss Alex back now that their tongues are touching, and it's weird, because Alex tastes kinda sweet, like Pepsi, the can he was drinking from on the drive over here. And as for how this feels… Sean hates to admit to himself that it all feels pretty warm and good.

When they pull away, parting a bit and looking into each other's eyes questioningly (what the Hell just happened?), they turn to find Sandra missing. They see her figure feet away in the direction she came from, angrily stomping down the street, and then she turns the corner and is gone.

One or two people send confused looks or disgusted glares as they walk by, having caught the boys' kiss.

But Alex and Sean simply start to laugh, Sean shakier and more out of nerves, and Alex heartier and more out of relief.

Alex dusts it off, brushing past Sean to head back to their car, a borrowed one from Professor X. The blond cheers at his success, saying how he's "finally rid of that nuisance!" and is "totally in your debt, Banshee."

Sean feels a ripple of tingles down his body, goosebumps rising along his arms as he shakes the whole scene off and follows Alex back to the car.

Havok is probably going to act like everything is unchanged, honky-dory, and normal.

But it's never going to quite feel that way again for Sean. A kiss like that… faked or not, it's not the sort that's shared between "buddies."