Title: The Continuing Day by Day

Author: Spike Speigel

Rating: PG-13

Classification: Castle/Beckett

Disclaimer: My first Castle fanfic. As usual, these characters don't belong to me. I'm just taking them for a joyride. Many thanks to foreverhopefuloflove for the second set of eyes, and recommending a more believable timeline.

Spoilers: Everything's fair game up to and including Knockout.

Summary: How far will Castle go to protect Beckett?

Author's Note: Part 1 of 14.

Day 1:

The world continues to move around him, the smell of antiseptic and blood wafting in the air. People are yelling, coughing, screaming in pain around him, but all he hears is a dull roar as he focuses on his hands. He focuses on the darkened crimson that, only minutes ago, was a damp red.

It's her blood. He still has her blood on his hands. And he can't find the urge to wash it off. Because it's the only part of her he still has. He's thinking the worst, because the writer in him always thinks the worst. She's dying on the other side of those plastic double doors with the two oval windows. The blood is seeping out of her, and there's nothing the doctors can do to save her. She's going to die…

He shakes his head, pushing the thought away as quickly as he can, his eyes still focused on his blood-drenched palms. He can still feel her in his hands as he tried to stop the blood. His mind goes back to his last words to her.

I love you, Kate.

He closes his palms, his hands balled up into fists. He shuts his eyes, pain radiating from his chest, as though he himself has been shot. He can feel his breathing quicken, his fingers digging into his blood-stained palms. He can feel the world slipping away from his, his breathing becoming more and more ragged. He takes one last, quick breath before exhaling sharply, his eyelids flying open.

At this moment, Richard Castle can feel the pain subsiding, but still lingering like a nagging reminder. The world comes back into focus as he begins to focus on the sounds surrounding him. And in that moment, he hears a voice calling out to him.

"Castle?" He looks up, his hands falling to his sides, to see the last person he wants to see at this very moment. "You still with us?"

Castle nods slowly, answering the doctor's question. "Yeah, I'm here."

"Good. Because for a second there, I thought you were hyperventilating."

"No." He finds himself lying, but he's not entirely sure why he does it. "Just waiting for news." He finally asks the question he doesn't want to know the answer to. Because he's afraid that the answer will change his life utterly and completely. "Is she…?"

Josh smiles a small smile as he answers Castle's implied question. "She's not out of the woods yet. But we managed to stop the bleeding. We transfused her with four pints of blood, and now we wait."

"And her heart?"

"If the bullet had been an inch higher, there's no doubt in my mind that Kate would be dead right now." Castle looks on, the confusion evident in his face. "The bullet missed her heart by less than an inch."

"Oh." Castle looks down again, his eyes focusing on his hands once more.

"You saved her life."

Castle doesn't look up. Instead, he spreads his fingers, still marveling at the amount of blood caked on his hands. "What?"

"If you hadn't stayed with her and applied pressure to her wound, she most likely would have bled out in the cemetery."

So much blood. Her blood. "Oh."

"Are you sure you're okay, Castle?" He can hear the concern in Josh's voice. "We have an on-call psychiatrist if you need someone to talk to."

Castle closes his hands once more, pushing against the bench with the heels of his palms, before standing in front of Josh. "You keep her safe. No matter what." He starts to walk away from Josh, the urgency in his stride evident.

"Wait! Where are you going?"

He doesn't turn back as he pushes the emergency bay doors open. "I have no idea."

He stands in front of the door for what feels like hours until he finally makes the decision to knock on the door. He swings the knocker twice, stepping back almost immediately. He looks down at his hands, trying to recollect when he washed his hands. Everything between the hospital and now seems like one big jumble in his mind.

The door opening stirs him from his thoughts, Castle looking up from his hands, and almost ashamedly putting his hands in his pockets as he does so.

"Mr. Castle?"

"Hello, Evelyn." For some reason, he wants to look away from her, as though he's the reason the woman in front of him no longer has her husband, but he steels himself.

"What…what are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to make sure you and the girls were okay. After the shooting, I lost track of…" Castle sighs softly. "Everything."

Evelyn Montgomery can hear the sadness in Castle's voice, so she manages a smile before talking. "We're fine, Mr. Castle."

"Call me Rick."

"Okay. Rick." Both share a gentle laugh before she continues. "Esposito and Ryan escorted us back home after the..." She chooses her words carefully. "Incident."

Castle nods. "Are they still here?"

"They just left to pick up dinner for the girls and myself." She shakes her head slightly as she continues. "They wouldn't let me cook them dinner."

Castle grins at the thought of his two friends acting as a food delivery service. "I'm sure they weren't commenting on your cooking. They probably just wanted you to spend time with Rebecca and Mary."

Evelyn gives Castle a bewildered look. "You know my daughters' names?"

Castle responds frankly. "Roy and I would often talk about being fathers with daughters."

Evelyn smiles at Castle, finally realizing that they've been having a conversation by her front door. "I'm sorry. Please, come in." Evelyn steps backwards, waving Castle inside with her hand. Castle nods, entering the home of Roy Montgomery for the first time in his life. "Let's go into the living room."

"Okay." Castle follows Evelyn, his eyes falling on the family pictures adorning the living room. "Where are the girls?"

"They're upstairs. After the cemetery, they wanted to be alone."

Castle nods, thinking that he hasn't talked to Alexis or his mother since the cemetery. He'd have to remedy that situation as quickly as possible. "I get that." Both sit on opposite ends of the couch in the living room, Castle's gaze falling on the old recliner in the corner. "Let me guess. Roy's?"

Evelyn manages a small laugh. "I pleaded with him to get rid of that old thing. But you know what he'd tell me?" Castle shakes his head, anxious for the answer. "He'd tell me, 'Evy, it's taken me years to get that chair to the point that it's mine. I'm an old man. I don't have time to break in another chair.'"

Castle can hear the sorrow in her voice as she reminisces about her former husband. "I'm sorry." Evelyn turns from the recliner to Castle, a furrowed brow greeting him. "I didn't mean to…"

She waves him off, knowing that she's not the only one grieving at the moment. "It's okay, Rick. Really." She reaches over to Castle, squeezing his arm, before continuing. "How's your girlfriend?"

This time it's Castle's turn to be confused. "What?"

"Kate. I thought you'd be at the hospital still. Is she okay?"

Castle finds himself stumbling for words. "She's not…we're not…um…"

It's at this point that Evelyn Montgomery finally understands Castle's predicament. "Oh, I'm sorry. I just thought…"

Castle waves his hand apologetically. "It's okay. She has a boyfriend."

Evelyn eyes Castle for a moment before getting up from the couch. She walks into the adjacent room, leaving Castle alone in the living room, as she calls out to him. "It's just, the way Roy would go on about you two. Every night, it was practically Beckett and Castle this and Beckett and Castle that." He can hear Evelyn's gentle laugh as she continues. "You two meant a lot to him. I hope you know that."

Castle responds earnestly. "And he means a lot to us, as well."

Evelyn returns to the living room, holding a large manila envelope in her hand as she rejoins Castle on the couch. "I'm sure he did." She extends her hand with the manila envelope, motioning to Castle with her eyes. "Roy…left this for you. He wanted me to mail it to you, but after everything that's happened, it must have slipped my mind."

Castle takes the envelope from Evelyn, giving it a quick once over, before responding. "Do you know what it is?"

She shakes her head. "I'm sorry. But the way Roy was carrying on, it seemed important." The knock on the door garners both of their attention, Evelyn getting up from the couch once more to answer it, leaving Castle once more with the thick, manila envelope in his hands.

"Hey, Castle." Castle looks up from the envelope to see Ryan and Esposito walking into the living room, bags of what looks like take-out Chinese in their arms. Esposito speaks once more. "I didn't expect to see you here."

Castle puts the envelope down on the coffee table, getting up from the couch to greet his friends. "There wasn't much I could do at the hospital, so I decided to come by and see if Evelyn and the kids were okay."

Ryan nods as all four individuals walk into the kitchen. Ryan and Esposito place the bags on the island in the middle of the kitchen, offering Evelyn a hand to unpack the contents, while Ryan turns to Castle. "So, how is she?"

Castle slides his hands into his pockets, leaning against the door jamb connecting the living room and kitchen. "She's out of surgery. Josh says it's up to her now."

Evelyn places the last of the containers on the counter, noting that the conversation has just taken a dramatic turn. "You guys set the plates, okay? I'll go see if Mary and Rebecca are ready to eat." The three men nod at Evelyn, Esposito responding.

"Yes, ma'am." And with that, Evelyn leaves the kitchen, making her way upstairs to her daughters' rooms. Esposito walks over to the cabinet behind him, pulling out some plates while he talks. "So, you staying for dinner, bro? We got enough here to feed a small country."

Castle shakes his head. "Thanks, but I should probably get home. Spend some time with Alexis and my mother."

Ryan responds. "Okay. So, you going back to the hospital later? Maybe we can give you a ride."

"No. Not right now." In that moment, Castle remembers the envelope. "Hey, did Montgomery leave you guys an envelope as well?" Both men give him a quizzical look as Ryan pulls out silverware from a drawer.

"No, what envelope?" Castle holds his hand up to Ryan, indicating for him to hold on for a second. Castle disappears into the living room, returning to the kitchen momentarily with the manila envelope. "Oh, that envelope." Castle nods, placing the envelope on the counter next to the plates of mushu pork and fried rice. "Did you open it?"

Castle shakes his head once more, his hand near the end of the envelope. "No, not yet."

"Well, open it up." Castle turns to Esposito, noting the anxiousness in his face.

Castle hesitates for a moment, turning his attention to Ryan. Ryan shrugs his shoulders as though opening the envelope couldn't hurt. However, seeing as how Montgomery has only addressed the envelope to himself, Castle decides against Esposito's request.

"Later. I really should be getting home."

Esposito turns his attention back to the plates, making sure each is filled with enough food. "Okay. You need one of us to drop you off?"

Castle shakes his head politely. "That's okay. I'll call for a cab." Both partners nod their heads, Ryan moving to the refrigerator and Esposito moving to another set of cabinets. As Ryan opens the fridge, Castle begins to speak once more. "There is something you guys can do for me though."

Ryan responds, his head still in the fridge, unable to find what he's looking for. "Anything."

"Can you guys stop by the hospital and see if the protective detail is still assigned to Kate's room?"

Esposito places five glasses on the counter, looking over his shoulder to his partner, who triumphantly holds up a bottle of milk as he shuts the refrigerator door behind him. "Yeah, bro. We were going to do that anyway. Once the officers come over to relieve us here."

Castle nods at his friends, turning to walk away. But he stops for a moment, not looking back as he speaks. "Tell Evelyn I said goodbye. And, if Kate's up, could one of you…"

Ryan completes his thought. "We'll call you."

Holding the manila folder under his arm, Castle begins walking to the front door. "Thanks." Ryan and Esposito watch as their friend disappears into the living room. Then the sound of the door opening and closing. Ryan looks to Esposito, concern on his face.

"Do you think he's okay?"

Esposito responds truthfully. "How'd you feel if it was Jenny that just got shot?"

Ryan nods, both men returning to their chore of preparing dinner, both knowing the answer to Esposito's question.

Continued