It's mid-July and the entire state of New York is in the throes of a record breaking heat wave, so of course the AC unit in their apartment is on the fritz. To make matters worse, no one can come out to look at it until Friday and it's only Wednesday.

The thermometer on the dash of the cab he's riding in reads 105 degrees, but between the sticky black vinyl seats and crappy airflow to the back of the cab, it feels more like 120.

The cab pulls up in front of their building and he legit has to peel himself off the seat before he can get out.

"Someone's going to be very happy with that," the cabby smiles, indicating the giant Toys R Us bag Puck grabs from the trunk.

Puck chuckles, "Hope so anyway." He pays the driver, tipping him extra because no one should have to drive around all day in such brutal heat. "Stay cool, man."

He skips the elevator- just the thought of having to stand in a tiny, un-air conditioned box makes him sweat even more- instead opting to climb the stairs all the way up to their eighth floor apartment.

"Babe," Puck calls, dropping the bag and letting the door fall closed behind him. "You up?"

"I'm in the kitchen," Rachel replies, "trying not to melt."

He makes his way through the apartment, peeling off his sweat-soaked shirt and tossing it into the hamper as he walks past the bathroom.

He can't help but smirk when he sees her. She's lying there, stretched out on her stomach in the middle of the tile floor, idly flipping through a book and wearing nothing but a skimpy tank top and a pair of panties. Oh, and, as if that isn't enough, she's totally got a bag of frozen vegetables resting in the curve of her lower back. His chick is legitimately crazy and he loves her for it.

"Hey," he greets, affectionately slapping her left butt cheek and lying down beside her on the floor. "Maybe I won't get the AC fixed after all."

She grins, abandoning her reading and brushing a quick kiss to his lips before nudging him away with her shoulder. "You're all gross and sweaty."

"'Course I'm sweaty, it's hot as fucking balls out there."

"Noah Eli Puckerman, watch your language!" Rachel chides, pushing a finger to his lips. "The baby can hear you."

"Bean can't hear shit, Rach, it's the size of a peanut."

"A lime, actually," she corrects. "And the baby can hear you. The book says."

The book Rachel is referring to is What to Expect When You're Expecting and she has literally been glued to it since the day before the stick turned pink.

Puck pulls the book away from her and flips to the index. "Lemme see that… ah ha! Hearing develops in the 18th week of pregnancy as the fetus' ears begin to stand out from its head," he reads aloud. "See babe, kid doesn't even have ears yet! I'll start watching my language in five weeks."

Rachel narrows her eyes and purses her lips like she always does when she's annoyed with him. He's pretty sure she means to be intimidating, but it's really just sexy as hell. "Fine," she sighs, "but if our child is kicked out of preschool for using profane language during circle time, you'll be sleeping on the couch for a year."

He groans. Rachel doesn't mess around with crap like that, if she says he'll sleep on the couch for a year, she means it. "Can't let that happen, can we?" He drapes his arm around her and slides her close to him.

"No, we really can't."

Puck raises his eyebrow suggestively, dipping his head and nipping at the pulse point on her neck. "I'll be good," he mumbles, lips pressed against her skin, "promise."

She lets out a breathy little moan and, for a minute, Puck thinks he has her-hook, line, and sinker.

"Noah," Rachel whines, "it's much too hot for that."

"Never too hot for sex, Rach."

"It's a medical fact that increased blood volume during pregnancy causes women to feel warmer than they typically would under normal circumstances."

Puck smiles and shakes his head, lifting the bag of frozen vegetables off of her back. "Is that why you're defrosting dinner with your body?"

"Precisely."

"Come on," he says, standing up and offering her his hand, "let's go."

Rachel rolls her eyes. "Noah, I told you, I'm not having-"

He cuts her off. "I know. We're not having sex."

She eyes his extended hand. "I'd prefer to just stay here in the kitchen if it's all the same to you. It's nice and cool and there's still a bag of broccoli in the freezer."

"Fine, suit yourself." He takes a few steps out of the kitchen before turning around and adding, "I bought you something though. Guess I'll just take it back to the store."

Rachel's face breaks into a grin and she scrambles to get up off the floor. "Wait, don't do anything irrational! What is it?"

"Something a hell of a lot more fun that a bag of frozen vegetables." Puck walks through their living room towards the door, picking up the Toys R Us bag and handing it to her. "See for yourself."

She looks inside and furrows her brow. "You bought an inflatable pool?"

"Hell yes I did."

"Noah," she puts the bag down and reaches out to touch his arm, "this is an incredibly sweet and thoughtful gesture, but the baby won't be big enough to use this for at least another three years."

"Shit, babe, I know that. The pool is for us. Today."

Rachel catches her bottom lip in her teeth, trying not to laugh. "It's for children."

"No," he shakes his head, pointing to the warning at the top of the box, "it says so right here. Ages two and up with adult supervision. See?"

"We don't have a backyard."

Puck shrugs, "So? We'll stick it on the roof. There's already a hose up there for the rooftop garden."

She looks like she's actually considering it. "Did you ask the super?"

"Of course, Rach, this is me we're talking about here." She eyes him suspiciously and he quickly folds. "No, I didn't, but I'm sure he won't care."

Damn, she's already got that whole mom thing down pat.

"I don't know…"

"Come on," he pleads, "the AC is broken and you yourself said it's hot as fu-"

"Language…" she interjects, shaking her pointer finger at him.

"Hot as frick. It'll help keep you cool with that whole increased blood volume thing you've got going on."

Rachel's apparently amused by this and she laughs loudly, "Okay, okay!"

He grins, "Yeah?"

"Yes, go set it up and I'll get changed."

Puck loops his arm around her neck and kisses the side of her head. "Did I mention bathing suits are completely optional?"

"Nice try, Puckerman."


He already has the pool inflated and half-way filled up by the time she makes it to the roof.

"Are you sure we're not going to get in trouble for this?"

Puck drops the hose in the pool.

"Pretty sure," he says, squinting against the sun to look at her. She's wearing the navy polka-dot bikini that drives him absolutely wild, and he can't stop himself from staring at her chest. Her breasts are huge, at least for her, and her cleavage is awesome. Pregnancy totally agrees with her.

"What?" She asks, looking down self-consciously.

"What? What do you mean what? My wife is hot as hell."

"Well, it is over 100 degrees today," Rachel teases lightly.

"Smartass," he mutters, picking up the hose and spraying her with it.

"Hey," she squeals loudly before erupting into a fit of giggles. "No fair."

"What?" Puck shrugs innocently, "you said you were hot."

"Yeah, well," Rachel strides over, easily wrestling the hose from his grip and turning it on him, "you're looking a little hot yourself."

"Alright, alright," Puck relents, holding up his hands in defeat. He's pretty sure Rachel would rather drown him than lose in a water fight. "I surrender."

"Yes!" She cheers, pumping her fist into the air. "What do I win?"

"All expense paid trip to the pool with your husband." He steps into the pool and sits down. "Hop in."

Rachel makes a little production of it, dipping just her toe in first to check the temperature like she isn't already soaking wet. "It's a little chilly."

He shakes his head and laughs. "You're nuts."

She drops her jaw in mock indignation, "I'm nuts? You're the 26 year old man sitting in a kiddie pool."

Puck shrugs unapologetically. "Cooled you off, didn't it?"

"Yeah," she agrees, giving up her act and sinking down next to him, "it did."

"So what d'ya think?" he asks, resting his hand on her belly and lightly rubbing her skin with his thumb.

"I think," Rachel pauses, lifting her chin and kissing him, "that you are going to be a fantastically wonderful dad for this baby."

*end*

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