Disclaimer – ½ Prince and all of the characters—aside from my OC's—belong to Yu Wo

A faint , warm breeze played past me, bringing numerous smells to my nose and sounds to my ears, my heightened animalistic senses picking up things in my surroundings I never would have noticed before. Tiny insects, too tiny to consider having as a snack, scurried about their daily lives all around me, plants swayed back and forth and stretched themselves upwards toward the bright sun, wildlife sneakily wandered past out of sight nearby. All of the new sensory information had been somewhat distracting when I had first been inserted into Second Life, but I had mostly gotten used to my new avatar and was easily blocking out everything except the annoying sight of Dib's sweaty bare back disappearing into his red shirt. The little marks I had made all over his tanned skin were already fading as the game healed him at the usual inhuman rate. He glanced over his shoulder at me and smiled as he did up half of his buttons. I continued to lay on my side in the soft, flattened grass, not bothering to fetch my own clothing, which was tossed off to the side nearby.

It had been nearly a week since our in-game wedding had taken place. Our first night of marriage had certainly been memorable. Looking back, even with as happy as we had both been, we had still been feeling the remaining anger of our fight, and it almost seemed like we had been wrestling and fighting, nearly trying to murder one another. It was the wildest, roughest sex we'd had thus far in our relationship. Bites were taken, blood was drawn, bruises were formed, but neither of us took it personally. Perhaps that opportunity to vent was what we both needed, as afterward we both quickly found our way back to a much more harmonious spot, and the constant fighting finally stopped. Since then, every single night had been filled with sex. Not that I was discontent or bored. On the contrary, I was tempted to push him over again right then and there and go for another round, but I settled for closely watching his reverse stripping.

"Wanna go catch some fish for breakfast?" he asked cheerily, placing his boots and socks into his pouch. Standing up barefoot, he buckled the pouch around his waist and looked down at me as I continued to lounge on the ground. I knew it wasn't actually a question but an announcement that he was hungry, but I considered my options anyway. Take a nice cozy nap in the morning sunshine, or go eat?

My stomach, as empty as Dib's, agreed with the thought of a nice fresh fish.

Letting out a hum, I lazily sat up and grabbed my pants. Once they were on, I put everything else into my pouch and stood, quietly following Dib as he turned from me and headed for the riverbank we had camped near the night before. At my request, we had left our room at the inn behind and had spent the past few days out in the wilderness, alone. The dreamless nights and constant access to wide-open, uninhabited land was far more soothing on my frayed mental state than staying in the city. Out here, it was almost as if we were on our own little planet where no one else existed. There were no strangers for me to feel threatened by, no doors to worry about being locked, no precooked food that may have been drugged, no suffocating walls surrounding me, nothing. Nothing but Dib. He kept me occupied enough that my mind didn't wander much.

Dib came to a halt at the edge of the burbling, calm river, but I stepped right into the cold water and waded out until it reached my stomach, feeling carefully with my feet in order to not slip on any of the countless smooth rocks laying on the riverbed. Closing my eyes, I tucked my wings against my back as tightly as I could, fighting the urge to scratch them when the water got into my feathers and made them feel itchy. The swift sound of Dib's fishing line zipped past me and landed downstream with a tiny plop, far enough away that he wouldn't disturb my own fishing attempts. While he tended his line, I reached out with my mind and searched for our breakfast swimming around under the unsteady surface. Several minutes passed while I let the fish get acclimated to my presence. Dib's frequent mumbled curses as he recast his line over and over were distracting, but I tried my best to ignore him and keep all my attention on the hundreds of minds I could feel in the river. To not alert them of my intentions I didn't make any mental connections, but simply followed their paths through the water, waiting for the opportune moment. Once their swimming patterns settled into a much more natural flow, I focused on the largest fish nearest to me—a bass almost as long as my arm—patiently waited until it got close, then I opened my eyes and darted my left hand downward, stabbing it through the eye with one claw and lifting it out of the water. It flailed from side to side as I took hold of it with my right hand and forced my claw out the other side of its head. After a moment, it stopped moving.

Smiling with satisfaction at my catch, I turned and began to slosh back to the bank. Once I had exited the water and held my prize up, Dib gave me a very disgusted frown, snorted at me, and turned back to his line. "Cheater, using your damn animal radar."

"I don't care how unsportsmanlike you think it is," I said loftily as I strode past him, heading back to our camp to set my fish over our fire. "It's much faster to catch them this way. Let's go eat."

"You can have that cheatie fish all to yourself!" he yelled. "I'm gonna really catch one! And it'll be bigger than the Fish King!"

"Wouldn't the biggest fish be the Fish King?" I asked, pausing to glance at him. In my ongoing efforts to be less argumentative, I didn't add that I thought it was quite stupid to want to catch anything significantly bigger than what I had. No fish of an abnormally large size, and certainly not anything as impressive as a boss monster, would be in a small, unremarkable stream such as this one.

"Shaddap!" His tensed shoulders bounced up and down with the force of his voice. Grumbling under his breath, he reeled in the line and quickly sent it flying back out over the water for another attempt.

Chuckling to myself, I shook my head and continued on my way. Reentering our camp, I stashed my fish in my pouch to keep it fresh and busied myself with building up the fire and preparing tea while I waited for him to prove his manliness or whatever the hell it was he was trying to accomplish. I was vacantly staring out at the scenery and sipping away at my third cup of tea when he finally joined me, carrying not one, but four fish of a similar size to the one I had gotten. The expression on his face challenged me to tease him for not returning with one the size of a house, but instead I complimented him on his work and held out a wooden platter for him to clean them on. His frown softened into a proud smile and he sat down, pulling out a knife to gut his catches. Pulling one of his fish over to myself, I slid one claw down its belly and opened it up, silently listening while he gave a lengthy list of suggestions for how we could spend our day. Rather than adding the fish's innards to the pile Dib was making, I popped them into my mouth and nodded when he mentioned exploring a cave we had found nearby the day before. Dib managed not to look sickened by my eating bloody handfuls of raw fish guts, having gotten used to my more birdish qualities.

Once we had cleaned all four of his fish and had them skewered over the fire, I stared at the flames and frowned slightly, thinking over the huge number of things he had said we could do. There was no way we would be able to fit them all into one or two days. "Do you not want to return to Infinite City soon?" I asked.

"Not really," he answered. "Why? D'you want to?"

I shook my head, relieved. "I just assumed you would be missing your brothers after being without them for so long."

With a light laugh, he carefully turned the fish to cook their other side. "I do live with them, you know."

My eyes widened a little, and I felt my face warm. "Oh, yes. Of course." Embarrassed, I wondered how in the world I had forgotten that he still saw them all the time in real life.

"I get to see the boogers whenever I want during the day…and the Lins, too," he added, "but you I only get to see at night. It's fun to play with everyone and all, but I'd rather be out here with you alone, where no one can interrupt us." A different sort of warmth spread over me and I grinned to myself, going back to staring at the fire while he continued. "Besides, the boogers are gonna be fifteen soon. Nowadays they usually have better things to do than hang out with their lame older brother. Gives me a chance to just focus on you and me. Never did that before when I was dating someone. My brothers were always my top priority. But a couple more years and they'll be adults, and they won't need me."

I gave him a tiny glance when he stopped speaking. He didn't look lonely like I'd suspected, but rather quite cheerful. Not knowing what to say, I kept my mouth closed and let the happiness swirl around. I had assumed that his brothers were always going to be more important to him than I was, and had tried my best to be satisfied with my position. I had never let myself hope that he would put me in first place.

In a want to restrain myself and not interrupt his cooking with a passionate embrace, I pulled my knees up to my chest, draped my arms over them, and settled my head down, observing him as he poked at his fish. He looked so chipper and bright. Hearing Dib tell me straight out that I was most important to him reminded me of Jiū's words from the week before. "He got so angry and depressed that I was scared for a while that he might kill himself."

"Are you happy?" I asked softly, watching carefully for his reaction.

Dib's brow furrowed a little at my question, but he continued to smile as he glanced between me and his breakfast. "'Course I'm happy. I mean, I'm kinda sad they're growing up, but hey, they were gonna grow up eventually."

"That's not what I meant. Jiū told me," I added after a moment, "she was afraid for you…while I was gone. Afraid you would kill yourself." The smile on his face faded into a startled look, and his eyes drifted back to me. I could tell that he wasn't expecting or wanting me to bring this up, but although I didn't want to upset him, I wanted to hear that he was okay now. I wanted every bad thing that went through his head while I'd been gone to be erased and never come back.

With a long, slow breath, he shook his head. "Sometimes I was afraid of that, too," he admitted, surprising me. "It was hard to…to keep on going when what happened the day you left was my fault."

"No, it wasn't," I denied, feeling very confused.

"It was," he firmly said, shaking his head again. "It was my fault. You tried so hard to get me to leave before your father came in, but I was a stubborn ass and…I just didn't want him to think I was scared of him, you know? Didn't want him to think he could intimidate me. So I stayed where I was. And because I didn't leave like you told me, the fucker was mad at you. After I found out no one knew where you were, I spent the whole year imagining you chained up in a tiny room somewhere only he knew about, slowly starving to death where no one could find you, all because I made him angry. And even though that didn't happen, though everything's okay now, I just…After hearing about all the shit you and the boys went through…Even if your father wasn't the one who locked you up, because he was mad at you he had his bodyguards focus on keeping you where he could see you and stuff. So they didn't notice what was going on at your house 'til it was too late. If I had just gone into the kitchen with Gui, then he wouldn't have been mad, he wouldn't have been distracting his bodyguards from paying closer attention to their surroundings…Everything would have happened differently. They could have protected you. There could have been a chance that you wouldn't have been kidnapped."

"It was not your fault," I repeated. "I told you already they would have taken me, no matter what. It had nothing to do with you."

"Maybe," he murmured, turning to look back to the fire. "A lot of people said that already. Hell, even I tried to tell myself that for a while. Didn't really work."

Unfolding myself, I moved closer to him on my knees and sat down as close to him as was physically possible, taking his chin in my hand and forcing him to look at me again. "I never have and never will think of what happened as your fault."

His eyes were watery and a bit red, but he wasn't crying. One side of his mouth twitched. "I thought you did. After our run in with Windy and her dad, you yelled at me for it."

"For refusing to hide with Gui Wen and instead confronting that bastard, not for anything else that happened," I denied, shaking my head in frustration. It hurt, hearing that he thought I blamed him for something so out of everyone's control. And yet, I knew exactly how he felt. I had, in the past, blamed myself for countless uncontrollable things in the same manner as he was now. However, it was very odd to hear him talk like this when he had scolded me on numerous occasions about doing this to myself.

I had been a bad influence on him.

He let out a long breath and smiled again. "Oh, well, that's a relief."

"I would never blame you for something like that."

With a little nod, he looked away. I wasn't sure if I had convinced him, but could think of nothing else comforting to say. "Idiot," I grumbled, then abruptly remembered I was trying to be as civil as possible with him, and attempted to think of some way to treat my name-calling as a joke. Removing his fish from over the fire before they could burn, I huffily ordered, "Eat your breakfast, idiot," pushing the skewer at him. He looked confused as he took it from me. I frowned and shifted myself over, to lean on his side and give him room to eat. "Idiot."

"Stop saying that, you big jerk," he said, frowning back as he took a gigantic bite of fish. I stared hard at him, watching as his extremely stuffed cheeks emptied when he swallowed.

When he went to take a second bite, I put my lips to his ear and whispered, "Idiot," again, causing him to choke, then scooted myself back to where I had been sitting. Pulling my own fish out of my pouch, I delicately sliced off a piece and popped it into my mouth, grinning when Dib struggled to call me an asshole and violently cough at the same time. I was nearly done eating my nice, tasty raw fish by the time he finally stopped suffocating on the fish bits he had inhaled.

Breathing heavily, he glared at me, his whole face red and tears streaming down his cheeks.

Well, that cheered him up.

"Is something the matter?" I asked innocently, lifting one eyebrow as I finished off the last few nibbles of my fish. When he opened his mouth to reply, I announced, "You should really eat your breakfast before it gets cold," and stood up, stepping away from the fire. "I'll start packing up the camp while you finish."

He mumbled something I couldn't make out, coughed again, then grouchily but carefully took another bite of fish.

After washing my hands and face in the river, I hurried back to camp and quickly packed everything up into my pouch, doused our little fire, and put my socks and boots back on. Dib had put his footwear on as well, and stood up, wiping his hands off onto his cloth pants. "Wanna take a walk?" he suggested, all traces of his spectacular coughing fit gone, except a somewhat hoarse voice.

"Alright," I agreed with a faint nod, taking his offered hand.

He got an excited look on his face. "And after that, let's go explore that cave. I marked it on my map. I think it's over…that way, somewhere." He vaguely gestured northward.

Turning in that direction, I pulled him along with me as I started walking. "But I already did so much 'cave exploring' before breakfast," I quietly pointed out.

"You did? Huh? Wha…" He came to a spluttery halt, both in words and in steps, his hand slipping out of mine. I continued onward, giving him a smile over my shoulder as I took in his blushing face. "You pervert!" he yelled in amusement. Lengthening my stride to force him to walk faster, I listened to him stomp and crash over the ground. "Get back here! Don't pretend you're bored with exploring caves! My ass still has a bazillion more mysteries for you to discover!"

Hardly smothering a snort, I laughed hard at his declaration. "Oh, don't worry, even if your ass runs out of mystery, that certainly doesn't mean the enjoyment will go with it. In fact, I assume the level of enjoyment would go up."

He was quiet for a heartbeat, then announced, "Shit. I'm horny."

"Well…" I put a hand on his shoulder and stepped in front of him, putting my face close to his. "Would you rather go exploring in the cave, or go exploring in my cave?"

Dib stared at me for a long moment, then he informed me in a very flat tone, "I think that was the lamest, least sexy seduction I've ever heard."

"I try." Smiling in amusement, I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him push me to the ground.

The following months flowed past with a speed that was both soothingly and aggravatingly slow. Having no idea when I would finally go back to the real world, rather than simply sit and wait for it to happen, I instead decided to build myself somewhat "normal" life, or at least as normal as I could get while still trapped inside Second Life. Dib and I purchased a small house on a patch of farmland near the outskirts of Infinite City, close enough to see my teammates every night but far enough away to not feel crowded by the city's large population, and in it we started living together for the first time. Although it wasn't real, it felt quite nice to have my own house to manage.

Being cut off from the real world was, in a way, a relief, although I did still keep contact with my sons through letters, and everyone kept me updated on the construction's progress of my real new house. But otherwise, all I had to do every day was relax and spend my time in whatever way I pleased, always with Dib there to join me. It had been difficult at first to allow myself to be okay with doing nothing all day every day, feeling like I was very useless wasting my time as I was, but eventually I silenced the echoes of that man's displeasure and came to an acceptance of the fact that I did not have to force myself to be productive in some way every single second of my entire life. So rather than actively seeking out work, I spent my time enjoying life—something I had never let myself do previously. I ate, I slept, I flew for fun, I started practicing art again, I spent time with my family, and for the first time I didn't let a memory tell me how I was supposed to live. The thick, stifling layers of stress that had been falling over Dib and I even since long before I had moved out of the Lin estate at last began to peel away, allowing us to breathe and move freely again.

Dib and I spent countless hours walking and flying across empty and deserted landscapes discussing anything and everything from the past to the present and on into making plans for our future. Often our discussions were about my new body, which was, according to the Second Life scientists, growing according to plan. At some point in the spring, Dib told me in a very giggle-filled voice that I looked like a "nasty, creepy giant alien fetus stuck to the end of a rubber tube," which was frightening and bizarre to imagine, but I refused to see any pictures, not wanting to know just what the hell he had been shown. However scary that had sounded, when summer came he assured me that I had begun to look more human and the scientists were still optimistic with their progress.

While the weather in Second Life stayed constant, the seasons continued to pass in the real world, and with each one time began to drag even more in my anticipation. The frequent Body Updates were certainly relieving, but it was making me more and more anxious to wake up. Dib admitted that he had expected me to be unhappy to leave behind the perfect, simple world of Second Life to go back to the giant mess that was the real world, but I really had no way of explaining why I was so looking forward to waking up. As wonderful as living in the game had been, it just didn't feel complete. There was always the knowledge in the back of my mind that none of it had been real.

But eventually my carefree days as a Second Life NPC pet came to a close.

Halfway through January, almost a year since I had begun to live in the game, the scientists deemed the body complete and ready to be attached to the Second Life servers, to begin "downloading" me into my new brain. Dib and I both had initially assumed that I would then immediately wake up, but instead they spent several weeks putting me through many aggravating sensory tests involving poking and prodding and speaking to me in real life, and having people in-game record my reactions, to make sure my mind and body were connecting properly. I cooperated as well as I could, trying to be patient, although I wanted to yell at them all to just stop and let me wake up. Having the real world dangled around in front of me like that, just out of reach, faintly hearing things going on around me in the real world but not being able to wake up and see what was happening was more frustrating than I could ever say.

Finally, finally, finally, after what felt like a lifetime, a morning in early February came when Dib, looking far more excited than usual, came bounding up to me and bellowed that they were at last preparing to wake me up. We spent a while jumping around and happily screaming at each other, startling all sentient life forms nearby, including the rest of our team when they began to login for their night of game time. I still had to wait for the real world's night to pass, but at last…at last, when the sun had gone down and the moon began to rise in Second Life, I stared at Dib, my hands shaking and my eyes wide, as I waited for something to happen. One of the scientists was standing nearby, silently watching me, ready to wake up and report any problems that might occur.

Although they had no solid details or facts, they had told me that they suspected waking up this time would be much different from how it had been before, simply opening my eyes and getting up to face another day. I hadn't really believed them. After all, I thought skeptically, just how difficult would waking up be?

It turned out to be the most nauseating, disorienting, mind-mangling experience I'd ever gone through.

Dib and the scientist briefly disappeared from sight and everything went black. Fear rose when I tried to open my eyes and pain shot through my head. Second Life abruptly reappeared. Dib anxiously stepped forward and said something. Losing my balance, I stumbled to one side and the game vanished again. Light pressed harshly against my face as I slowly opened my eyes. Smeary blurs of whites and grays swam in front of me, unrecognizable noise assaulted my ears, and something gently touched my forehead. Dib and the scientist were next to me again. I was laying in the grass. People flickered in and out of my sight, both there and not there. I could feel the ground and the bed I was laying on at the same time. Shadows of real people and Dib's avatar were overlaying each other.

I began breathing quicker in panic, trying to curl up on myself and make it all go away. I had no idea what was going on, terrified that I had gotten stuck somewhere in between real life and Second Life. I could hear Dib's worried voice, but it sounded faint and far away. I curled up tighter, feeling extremely dizzy, and tried to block everything out. Hands took hold of my shoulders and firmly but gently made me uncurl. In fright, I tried to fight them off, but I had no strength to do so. Dib's voice was becoming angry, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. My cheek was both warm and cold, pressed to a blanket and dewy grass.

A soft voice I had heard somewhere before assured me that I was okay. Other voices spoke in the background. I carefully cracked open my eyes again. A familiar face I couldn't quite recognize peered down at me as he turned my head in his hands, carefully as if I was made of glass. Something somewhere in my brain abruptly disconnected from Second Life, like a light switch being turned off. I could no longer hear Dib, nor feel the grass I'd been sprawled on. The constant weight of my wings was gone from my back. I was no longer Aeolus. At last, I was simply Zian again.

"Are you awake?" the man asked, a mild smile on his face. I knew him, but I had no idea who he was.

Answering his question didn't even cross my mind. I closed my eyes and tried to shut him out, wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep. The man didn't stop me when I curled up on my side again, comfortable and safe in a little ball. Everything around me quieted into a dull but soothing hum buzzing in my ears, and I quickly fell asleep. Disconnected images passed through my head like wisps of dreams. Walking down long, dark hallways alone, papers clasped in one hand and my eyes downcast. The strong, proud face of my grandfather smiling at me as he carried me in his arms. Flying over a yellow desert with intense heat making everything look distorted. The bun of silky black hair on the back of Jiao's head shining as sunlight made the air green around us in her garden. The front door towering above me as I sat on the cold marble stairs, crying, waiting for someone I couldn't remember to finally come and take me home as promised. A tiny silver and blue fish gracefully swimming past my face deep underwater in a lake. Heng taking a drink of my coffee and grimacing at how bitter it was. Gui Wen grabbing the last of my favorite cookies and running away when I jealously tried to snatch it from him.

Countless bits and pieces of my life floated through my head. I remembered each moment as it came back to me in vivid flashes. Eventually they slowed, and then stopped, and I could feel myself wake up.

Slowly opening my eyes, I let myself take in my surroundings. I was curled up on my right side in a large, soft bed. A thin gray blanket covered me from the waist down, and a transparent mask covered my nose and mouth. Although my vision was still somewhat blurry, I could see there was a huge reclining armchair not far from the bed, and in it was sitting Heng, his feet propped up and his phone resting on his stomach. Exhaling softly, I felt myself smile, absolutely certain he was sitting there simply so he would be the first thing I would see. I thought about speaking to call his attention to me, but I was far too comfy and drowsy to do anything just yet. It felt wonderful to take a moment to simply stare at him. It had been so long since I had seen him. Not that looking at Dib had become dull, but seeing him—really seeing him was like quenching a thirst I hadn't known was there. He was shaved smooth, his shiny black hair was short and looked freshly cut, and rather than the usual hoodie and jeans, he was dressed in a nice pair of black slacks and a blue button-up.

I wasn't sure how he knew I was awake, but his eyes suddenly shot to me, and an enormous grin stretched his mouth. He quickly put his phone in his pocket, then leapt to his feet and hurried over. The astonishingly high speed at which he had done it made me dizzy all over again. Trying and failing to follow him with my eyes, I began to frown as he hurried over here and over there and back again, talking so fast I couldn't understand him. The room began to get blurrier and spin around. Opening my mouth felt like attempting to open a rusty old chest, but I eventually managed it and said "Stop."

Or at least I tried to say it.

All I really did was make a wheezy noise.

Blinking a few times, I took a deep breath and repeated the word as firmly as I could. "S-stop!" It came out slurred and odd-sounding.

Heng was abruptly in front of me again, a very concerned expression on his face. When he spoke, it sounded like his voice had been artificially sped up. "Stop? Stop what? Are you okay? Do you want a drink of water? Do you want me to call the doctor?" He was moving all over the place, patting me on the arm, waving a bottle of water around, gesturing toward the door.

"Stop!" I repeated in a croak, squeezing my eyes shut and pressing my face into the bed. I was going to throw up if he didn't quit flailing around and yelling.

He didn't listen. When I looked at him again, he was leaning closer, and demanded, "What's the matter?!" in a loud, panicky voice. Suddenly he was back on his feet and had a phone in one hand. "What's wrong?! Do you need the doctor?!"

"Just…" I paused and took a moment to breathe. Speaking was suddenly one of the most exhausting things to do. "Just…stop."

"Stop what?!"

"Moving…so…fast," I explained, having a great deal of difficulty forming the words. "You're…making me…diz…dizzy."

Abruptly, all I could see was a pair of round eyes peering at me over the edge of the bed. "Sorry," he whispered.

"Thank you." I took a moment to calm down, letting the room come back into focus as I put all my effort into blinking.

"Are you okay?" he softly, slowly asked.

It took me a moment to form the word "Yes," but I eventually got it out. It sounded strange, and it seemed Heng noticed as well.

He drew his eyebrows together. "I'll be right back, okay?" he said, standing up far more slowly than he had earlier. "I'm going to get the doctor."

I attempted to say "Okay," but all that came out was a sort of groan. I didn't bother to give it a second try, and Heng didn't wait for one. As he disappeared out a nearby door, I steadied my breathing and began once again inspecting my surroundings, curious where I was. It looked nothing like the place at the Second Life headquarters where I had been inserted into the game, nor did it look—or smell—like a hospital. Maybe I was in my new house. It was a nice room, but it didn't really look like something Heng would have decorated. Plus there was no familiar furniture. Not that I had much of that left. After my in-game honeymoon, Wei Bo had given me the promised inventory of my old house, and Gui, Prince, Dib and I had sat down and discussed what to do with it all. Some Dib and I kept, and Gui and Prince took a couple things, but most of it had been sold or donated.

All curiosity toward where I was vanished when I attempted to lift my left hand. I could hardly move it. With extreme alarm, I tried again. It took all my strength and focus to drag my hand up toward my head. Slowly, clumsily, I managed to slip that mask off my mouth, and dropped it on the bed. Confusion and terror filled me as I struggled to get my legs to move. They would hardly respond. None of my body would. What the hell was going on? What was wrong with me? What had happened? Had this body not grown correctly? Was it crippled? Would they have to put me back inside the game and grow another body? I didn't want to go back. I didn't want to be stuck in there anymore.

Shaking and gasping for air, I struggled and struggled to get to the edge of the bed. It felt like it took hours, but I finally got there. Very determined to go find Heng and tell him something was wrong with me, I attempted to lift myself up. My hand slipped out from under me and I let out a hoarse yell as I slid off the bed. On my way down, I got a glimpse of Heng coming in the door, watching me slither into a pile of useless limbs and bed sheets. Unable to move and feeling like a complete idiot for not simply waiting until he got back, I laid there wondering what I was supposed to do next.

Heng started hysterically screaming that I had collapsed, as if something so embarrassingly obvious had to be announced at the top of his lungs, and the floor shook as feet quickly approached me.

"He's alright," a voice calmly assured. "He tried to go for a little walk." Arms wrapped around me and picked me up, gently depositing me back on the mattress. Feeling relieved that I'd been rescued from the floor, I watched as a familiar-looking doctor with short hair and glasses covered me up again with the blankets, moving slowly and carefully. Thinking as hard as I could, I eventually recognized him as the man who had come up with the idea of inserting me into Second Life. It was comforting to have someone nearby who knew so much about what was going on. After he settled me back into the bed, he poured some water into a glass and asked, "Would you like a drink?"

Rather than trying to reply verbally, I gave a faint nod. He did something too fast for me to see and I felt my upper body get lifted up into a sitting position. After giving me a moment to compose myself, he held the glass to my mouth. "Careful," he warned, "go slow. Don't drink too fast."

The water felt deliciously cold and soothing on my dry throat, and I took several sips before leaning back against my pillows again. "Thank you," I murmured. With reassuringly slow movements, the man picked up that mask off the edge of the bed and put it back over my mouth and nose. Breathing was slightly less difficult with it on. After taking a moment to rest, I looked up at him. "What's wrong…with…me? I ca…can't…move. Or talk." Everything I said came out garbled and weird. I prayed he understood and didn't need me to repeat myself.

He carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, his smile never leaving his face. "Nothing is wrong with you. You just have to give your body time to get used to things. It may sound strange, but even though you know how to move and speak, your body has never done it before. It simply needs to learn. I doubt it will take you long, a couple days at most."

I almost burst into tears when relief flooded through me. "I…thought I wa…s broken."

The man shook his head, and a complicated facial expression I couldn't identify briefly flashed across his face. "You're not. Not anymore. Is there anything I can get for you? More blankets or something?"

"No, thank…you."

"Alright. I just want to give you a brief examination, then I'll let you rest." At my nod, he put on some gloves, then slowly took my head in his hands. The examination was very basic and simple, quite different from the ones I'd had growing up. He checked my eyes and ears, listened to me breathe, poked at my legs and feet to make sure I could feel him, and had me move my arms as well as I could. All the while, he asked me questions about how much I could remember about the past few days, and Heng sat in the armchair, leaning forward with his chin on his clasped hands, staring intensely at us as if he didn't want to miss anything.

Once the doctor had finished, he gave my shoulder a light pat and stood. "Everything seems fine so far. Just take things slow and rest up. If you need anything, push the big red button on that and I'll come help." He gestured toward a remote control hanging on the wall, easily within reach of where I was laying.

"Thank you," I said again. "What's…your name? I've…forgotten."

He opened his mouth, hesitated, then smiled again and answered, "Li Shen." Leaving my bedside, he walked toward the door, spent a moment speaking to Heng, then left the room and closed the door behind himself.

Looking much calmer than he had before, Heng came back to the bed and took the doctor's place by my side. "How are you feeling?" he asked, slowly reaching out a hand to touch my cheek.

I thought for a moment, then replied, "Very stiff. Like I'm made…of…a new pair…of shoes."

"New shoes?" A bubbly laugh popped out of him. "Guess that's a good comparison. Shit, you had me scared."

"Sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," he murmured, fully climbing up onto the bed to lay down beside me. "Sorry for being all loud and stuff."

"Mm-hm." I closed my eyes contentedly when he leaned against me.

"Going back to sleep?" he asked, and I felt him rearrange himself to get more comfortable.

"No." I took a deep breath, turning my head to the left a little so I could lean my chin against the top of his head. His hair smelled nice. "Want to…stay aw…awake to…practice talking."

"Ah, okay." There was a short pause, then he curiously announced, "You look different."

"Different?" I asked, a slight feeling of dread coming on. "I don't…look the…same?"

He let out an awkward-sounding hum. "Uhh, I guess. Kinda. Yes? I mean, no. Yes. Yes and no."

I frowned at him as hard as I could, but my facial muscles were as unresponsive as the rest of me. "What?"

He let out a small laugh and sat up a bit straighter, turning to look at me. "You look like you, but you don't look the same," he said, then paused and furrowed his eyebrows as if he had confused himself as well as me. If I was capable of speaking properly I would have yelled at him to stop blabbering and explain, but instead I settled for an annoyed stare. "Here, lemme show you," he offered, pulling out his cellphone. Leaning against me again, he held up the phone in front of us and turned on the camera so we both displayed on the screen.

Seeing myself, I could understand what he meant. I looked like me, but I didn't look the same as I had. I looked ten years younger, and also healthier than I had ever been before, even more so than when I had lived with the Lins. Rather than seeing myself, I felt more like I was seeing a short-haired, brown-eyed version of my original Second Life avatar.

"I've…aged back…wards," I marveled, watching my sleepy face on the screen get more wide-eyed than before. There were no more tired lines under my eyes, no wrinkles between my brows, no strained expression, none of the small, faded scars I had accumulated over the years.

Heng laughed again, letting out a spluttery "Pfft" noise as his arm dropped to the bed. "Yeah, yeah, you did." He giggled for a few moments, then asked, "How's it feel to be younger than your own children?"

"I feel…much…better than…before…I lived…in Se…Second Life. Nothing…hurts," I realized, and I paused for a moment, letting that thought sink in. The relieved tears that had threatened to burst out earlier when the doctor said I wasn't broken suddenly came back and abruptly spilled down my face. "I don't…hurt…now. Dib. They…fixed me." Every day in the real world up until now had been spent in varying degrees of pain and nausea. Now I felt nothing, I felt better, I felt good. Being given such an immensely priceless gift was mind-boggling.

"They fixed me," I repeated, laughing. "Dib. They f-fixed me."

"Yeah." His eyes were getting watery as well and he pressed his mouth to my temple, giving me a kiss. "You're all better now, Al. You're gonna be just fine. Now quit your crying, you big baby, or you'll make me start." His voice was quavering, as if he was crying already. Ignoring his order, I continued to let the tears and laughs gush out, completely consumed by the relief at having the constant misery taken away. After a few seconds, he repeated, "Quit it! Just 'cause you're a newborn doesn't mean I won't make you stop!"

Replying with another wheezy laugh, I wordlessly smiled at him.

He abruptly lifted the mask off my mouth and nose and briefly kissed me, cutting off my mirth. I blankly stared at him after he had put my mask back on, and he gave me a satisfied grin. "Stole your first kiss."

"Pedophile."

Heng's eyes went wide at my name-calling, and he let out a somewhat jarring yell of "You asshole!" A laugh escaped, but he attempted to hide it behind a fake angry look and threateningly huffed, "I'll get you back for that later, just you wait."

"I look…forward…to it," I murmured, closing my eyes as I settled back onto the pillow again. Although Heng had made me stop crying, the strange way I now felt was still completely elating. Taking as deep of a breath as I could, with great contentment I noted where all of my muscle aches used to be. As I exhaled Heng draped an arm over me, and while in the past that would have also hurt a little, I felt nothing, almost as if I was numb all over. It was amazing.

But although I was no longer in pain, the next few days were frustrating all the same. I soon discovered I was in a long-term care center for patients of P City's private hospital. I had a room with an attached bathroom to myself. Though I was told there was an activity center and a cafeteria, I preferred to spend most of my waking hours in physical therapy, and while that in itself was not terrible—I was quite eager to exercise my new body and get used to it as soon as possible—it was very embarrassing to be required to relearn such simplistic movements like how to walk. Still, as annoying as it was to have regressed so far, I took pride in the fact that I had gone into my first session sitting in a wheelchair and had left on foot, albeit leaning on a walker with Heng clutching at my elbow, yelling at me to be careful.

I pushed myself as hard as I could, forced my body to remember every detail of how I had moved and spoke before. It took lots of effort, but eventually I got back to a nearly-normal state. After three days had passed, I felt strong and coherent enough to finally see my sons again.

I laid drowsing in my bed, feeling so very comfy and warm, but not letting myself actually fall asleep. Heng had called me less than an hour before on the new phone he had bought for me to warn me that he was on his way with all three of our sons, and I was doing my best to conserve every bit of energy I had in order to not be overwhelmed by two five-year-olds and a toddler. Although they had sent me hundreds of letters, asking hundreds of times when I would wake up, part of me still felt somewhat worried that they had spent the past year slowly forgetting me, bit by bit, their new life with the Lins replacing me. Heng had said they were very excited to see me, so I tried to not think about it.

Cracking open my eyes, I turned my head toward the door when shouts rang out in the hall outside my room. This was a very quiet place, though I was not the only patient staying here, so hearing raised voices was startling. Startling, but not frightening.

I recognized the voices.

And the stampeding feet.

After a few short seconds, my door burst open and the screams became far louder. With deafening greetings of "DADDY!" they ran from the doorway and launched themselves onto my bed. Before I could do anything, I was abruptly smothered by two little squirmy bodies piled onto my chest. They continued to yell and flail around, but I grabbed them both and hugged them as tightly as I could to myself, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. I had missed them terribly over the past year, and the relief of seeing them again almost made me cry, but I held it back.

Kissing them both, I smiled happily and laughed as they both pulled back from me. I took in their new, unfamiliar appearances. They had been so tiny and pale before. Now they were plump and quite a bit taller. Not to mention their thick black hair sticking out in every direction. I had seen plenty of pictures, of course, but seeing them in person was quite different.

Three—that is, Shi glared up at me, his eyes tearing up, and wailed, "What took you so long?!"

Chuckling, I put a hand on his head and fruitlessly attempted to flatten his wild hair. "I told you both many times that I didn't know how long it would take. If I could have sped it up I would have, but that was not possible."

"Are you back now?" Hu asked nervously, both hands clamped onto the front of my shirt. "You're not gonna leave again?"

I slowly shook my head. "I won't leave again."

"Promise?"

"Yes." I paused a moment, then added, "Excluding trips to the toilet and such."

He gave me a tiny frown and mumbled, "Well, yeah."

Taking a deep breath, I looked at them both again and gave a faint laugh. "You're both so big."

"Mommy measured us last month!" Shi announced importantly. "We're both one hundred and twelve centimeters big!"

"Tall," Hu corrected.

"Same thing!"

Hu looked at me as if I was supposed to correct him too. I raised one eyebrow. "They are, sort of."

With a disappointed huff, he looked away. Shi, meanwhile, stood up on the bed and crossed his arms. "You still know who's who, right?!"

I gave him a confused stare. "Of course I know."

"Oh, yeah?" he challenged. "Who am I?"

"Three. Sorry, Shi. Your new names will take some getting used to."

Shi looked immensely surprised for some reason. "You really can tell us apart!"

"Why in the world would I not be able to?"

"B-but," he sputtered, "everyone else has trouble with it. How could you tell? We even wore the same clothes today!"

"I know because you're you, and not him," I explained, pointing at Hu.

Shi's frown deepened. "What's that mean?"

"You're completely different people, no matter how identical you may look."

"Even Mommy kept mixing us up," Hu informed, then let out a giggle. "But sometimes we did it on purpose."

I sat silently for a moment, wondering if "Mommy" was Jiao or Chen. They had called both of them Mommy at different points in their letters. I frowned a little when I wondered if it was going to be confusing in the future, having two mothers and two fathers. Even I was getting confused, yet I perfectly understood what was what.

"We don't do it a lot," Hu added, looking worried at my frown.

I quickly fixed my face into a smile. "It sounds like fun, actually. My brother and I probably would have done the same thing, if we'd had the opportunity."

He brightened up again hearing that I wasn't going to scold him for playing tricks on people. He began telling me about one time they had Jiao's parents all confused about who was who, but his story was interrupted by the sound of crying coming from the hallway outside my open door.

Shi mumbled, "Aw man," and suddenly looked very grumpy, leaning against me.

I looked at him for a moment, but he said nothing else, so I looked back to the door as the crying got louder. Eventually, Heng came walking in the door, a large diaper bag slung over one shoulder and our wailing, red-faced baby in his arms. "Finally caught up!" he loudly told me over all the noise Gao was making.

"What's wrong?" I demanded, sitting up straighter in concern.

"Nothing," he assured, shaking his head. "He thought it was a race to get to your room and got mad when Shi and Hu ran ahead of us and wouldn't stop. He got a little too excited and kinda…well, walked face-first into the elevator door. Then he tripped. Then he lost a shoe and wouldn't let me put it back on. It's been an adventure getting from the car to here."

"We told him we weren't gonna wait," Shi grumpily said to Heng.

"I know, but he's still a baby, give him a break," Heng replied. "He just wanted to run too."

"He's too little to run too!"

Heng sighed, but I ignored their argument. Feeling horrified, I took in the appearance of my baby. Never mind that his forehead was a tiny bit red from clobbering himself on a door, or that he was crying so hard. That didn't matter. Children got bumps and bruises and cried all the time. But there was a far, far worse problem; he was wearing the most hideous clothing I'd ever seen. Bright purple pants, a yellow hooded jacket, one blue sock, one white sock, and a single green plaid sneaker. Hooked on one of Heng's fingers was another shoe, a red slip-on.

"Who dressed him?" I asked in bewilderment. "A blind circus clown with no fashion sense and a hatred for children?!"

Heng looked like he was torn between frustration and amusement as he struggled to set down the diaper bag and keep hold of the very wiggly Gao. "For your information, you jerk, he dressed himself."

"Don't let him do that ever again."

"He likes to do it himself." Heng held Gao out to me, bouncing him up and down gently. "And look how cute he is!"

My baby was adorable. His clothing, on the other hand, looked like a rainbow vomited all over him.

Gao's crying slowed slightly as he finally looked at me, his red, scrunched-up face flickering with recognition. All thought of what he was wearing left my mind when he hiccuped, pointed at me, and announced very clearly, "Papa, there he is. I found him."

"Yep!" Heng affirmed, returning to hugging Gao to himself and giving the baby a kiss on the side of his head. "There's Daddy!"

"He was taking a nap," Gao added, still sobbing.

"Al, close your mouth," Heng ordered, his lips turned downward in a very fake frown.

I obeyed, not having realized my mouth was hanging open. "You didn't tell me…None of you told me he could speak already!" I angrily said, feeling cheated. The last time I had seen my baby, he was still a wrinkly, impossibly tiny bundle laying in my arms, unable to do anything but eat, sleep, and poop. Now…speaking full sentences, and able to walk…I hadn't heard my son's first words. I hadn't seen his first steps. The little brat was already picking out his own clothing and dressing himself. What the hell? He was hardly over a year old. He didn't even have much hair yet. How was this possible?

"Surprise!" Heng cheered, sitting on the edge of the bed and plopping Gao on my lap.

I sucked in a breath as Gao stared wide-eyed up at me, his tiny fists wiping tears off his chubby red cheeks. I tried to think of something to say. My mind was drawing a blank. It had always been easy to talk to him when he was just a smelly little lump, and I could say whatever in the world I wanted, no matter how nonsensical or pointless. He hadn't been able to talk back. Now he could. Best to start with the basics.

"Hello, Gao."

"Hi, Daddy," he replied.

My heart melted into a puddle of disgustingly happy goop upon hearing his greeting.

"You know who I am?" I asked softly.

"Yeah." He gave a tiny nod with his tiny head. "You gave me the yummy food, and picked me up, and gave me a bath, and I was so mad. But then you were gone. Where did you go?"

My extreme surprise at hearing him speak so impossibly well at such an early age began to sink into alarm. Lifting my gaze to Heng, I stared at him in confusion, wondering if I could manage to ask him questions in a calm manner when I felt like exploding at him for not telling me about something so strange and abnormal. I had never interacted with children, other than the boys and Shuang, but even I knew that every child Gao's age was nothing like this.

"We've had more doctors than I can count examine him," Heng quietly told me, flashing a quick half-smile. "No one knows what's going on. They don't want to give him brain scans or anything while he's still so young, so all they can say from just observation and talking to him is that he's more intelligent than their IQ tests can measure. We figured you'd be freaked out if we told you something was different about him, so we decided to wait and let you see it for yourself. The doctors all said he's perfectly healthy, just really…crazy smart."

"But…but why?" I asked. "How? It's not possible…This…How could he remember me? Someone must have told him."

"We showed him pictures of you, yeah," Heng affirmed, "but no one told him about stuff you did. I don't know how, but he remembers."

I went back to staring at Gao, utter bewilderment swirling around and around in my head. I simply couldn't understand how anyone could be capable of such things. I had never heard of anyone forming long-term memories when they weren't even a month old. What the hell was going on?

Gao abruptly started crying again, his fists going up to his chin. "What's wro-o-o-ong?!" he wailed, looking up at me in fright.

"Al, quit glaring at him," Heng scolded, reaching over the baby to bonk me on the head.

I forced my face to relax into a smile. "Nothing's wrong," I soothed, carefully reaching out to pick up Gao. "You're…you're so smart, I was very surprised."

"You're mad!" Gao shook with a sob.

"No, I'm not mad at all," I denied, gently hugging him to my chest. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to look angry. I'm not mad."

"Really?" he squeaked, his face hidden behind both of his itty bitty hands.

"He's not mad," Hu chimed in, leaning on my right shoulder.

"That's his thinky face," Shi added. Was my "thinky face" really so scary that it made babies cry? I would have to fix that…

"It used to confuse me all the time, too," Heng sighed in a nostalgic tone.

"I don't mean to do it," I grumbled, comfortingly rubbing Gao's back.

"I know," all three of them said at the same time. The boys giggled, and started telling stories about all the times I had accidentally looked angry, which were followed by Heng's stories of many similar experiences. Gao quickly quieted and watched all three of the goofballs reenact various moments in amusing, exaggerated ways. Soon enough they had the baby laughing too. I smiled and looked from person to person, feeling a contented happiness settle over me. This was what I wanted. It was what I had always wanted. To be surrounded with people I loved, and who loved me back. To build myself a family that wasn't filled with hatred and unhappiness. To have people worth living for. I had no idea what the hell I had done to deserve it, but here it was.

Movement at my open door caught my eye. I looked up to see the doctor watching us. Before I could even open my mouth to ask him what he needed, he gave me a faint smile and turned away, leaving just as silently as he'd come. I stared at the empty doorway for a moment, a tiny annoying prickle at the back of my mind. The feeling of having forgotten something. Brushing it away, I turned back to the others.

I had many visitors in the following days. Heng's brothers, all of the Lins, my uncle and aunt, Gui Wen and several of his teammates, a few of Heng's closest friends, and, very unexpectedly, a man I could only vaguely remember from the R and D department at the office, who claimed I had "rescued" him from his manager at some point, though I wasn't sure just what it was I had done. None of my old so-called friends came to see me, which was relieving and expected. Every day I continued on with my physical therapy, and quickly returned to a normal state. The doctors spent one more week observing me, making absolutely sure nothing had gone wrong, then they gave the okay for me to leave.

Having neatly packed up my few personal belongings into a small bag, I stared at my unfamiliar face in the rectangular mirror attached to the wall in the bath. I had shaved off all signs of a beard and mustache, and brushed my hair as tidily as I could manage without the help of styling products. Heng had brought me one of my favorite suits, a blue and gray three piece. It no longer fit. I was taller than I had been, and weighed more. But although it was slightly uncomfortable, I didn't mind. It was quite symbolic. I was no longer the person who used to fit perfectly in this suit, the little clockwork man my father had crafted and dominated. The clockwork had broken. That man was gone. Dead. Erased. There was no sign of him staring back at me in the mirror, and that filled me with pride.

I glanced away from myself when I saw Heng step into the room behind me. "You ready?"

"Yes." Looking at myself one last time, I turned away from the mirror and walked toward the door. Taking Heng's offered hand, I exhaled slowly as we stepped into the sunny bedroom. Picking up my bag, I smiled at Heng. "Let's go home."