A/N: Well then, new story. This one came from a TON of begging from my younger sister CanDoAnythingNow. Yes we are siblings. I think we have mentioned this. So this is a manual fic (Gasp!), but it is based on HetaOni. You don't need to watch HetaOni to understand though, there are going to be EXTENSIVE liberties taken. Various manuals from many different writers are going to be used to get the aspects of the characters. We appreciate all of you manual writers, you are such a help!
No copyright infringement is intended, this is under the Fair Use Clause.
"It was a dark and stormy night."
"That's stupid! EVERYONE starts stories like that!"
"Fine then, it was a sweltering mid afternoon where you could cook an egg on the side walk."
"You are taking too many liberties with the story."
"Sooorry! Geez. Let me continue!" The blonde said, getting annoyed with the additional commentary coming from the couch. "As I was saying, it was a—"
"Yeah, yeah, I get it! A random opening that has no plot importance whatsoever!" The brunette interrupted again.
"Can't I write a story without interruptions!" The blonde yelled, throwing down the pencil on the notepad she had been writing on.
"Don't talk then." The brunette said, putting in her earbuds and staring at the ceiling. She then starting singing. "Ne ne papa—"
"Stop singing Marukaite Chikyuu!" the blonde yelled again, getting on the computer and opening up DeviantArt.
"You are mean Kota-onii kun." The brunette said.
"Oi!" The blonde yelled back, obviously getting angry. Just then a pop up decided that now would be a great advertising moment. "Grrrrr…"
"Don't kill the computer." The brunette said walking over. "Hey! It's Hetalia! Don't kill it!"
The two clicked on the pop up, with the control panel up for a quick abort. The Antivirus was silent, meaning no viruses were attacking. Instead, even though the pop up was one of those neon crazy You-must-be-half-blind pop up, was a simple quiz without a majority of the embellishes seen on many online quizzes appeared.
Question #1 What is your housing situation?
A: Own a home
B: Rent a home
C: Are at a public computer
"We has a house!" the blonde murmured.
Question #2 Do you live with anyone?
A: NO
B: Yes; Family
C: Yes; Married/Engaged
D: Yes; Roommate(s)
"I wonder why 'A' is in all caps..." the brunette wondered as the other clicked 'B'.
Question #3 What is your estimated annual income?
A: Unemployed
B: 25,000
C: 25,000-50,000
D: 50,000-75,000
E: 75,000-100,000
F: 100,000 +
E: MILLIONAIRE! (Now be honest)
"There's no button to click for 'E'..." The two said at the same time.
"Jinx! you owe me a soda Brooke!" The blonde called
"Go get it your self Kota." Brooke replied
Question #4 Is your house large enough to accommodate more people?
A: Yes
B: No
C: I don't have a house
D: I rent
"And the million dollar answer is... 'A'; well no DUH!" Brooke exclaimed as 'Kota' clicked the letter.
Question #5 Do you have any major, inabilitating fears?
A: Yes
B: No
"We're brave; we don't have any fears!" Brooke giggled.
Question #6 What kind of Neighborhood do you live in?
A: ...What neighbors? (Very Rural)
B: Quiet Suburban
C: City
D: Big City
E: Underwater! (Now answer honestly)
"There's no button for 'E'..." The two repeated.
"Jinx! You owe me a soda Dakota!" Brooke exclaimed.
"We are tied smarty." Dakota replied.
Question # 7 What is the age bracket of everyone in the house? (Mark as many as necessary)
A: 0-5
B: 6-10
C: 11-15
D: 16-20
E: 21-30
F: 31 +
"Look, there are up to five buttons for each bracket!" Dakota said, marking one "D" and one "E".
"No duh, they want EVERYONE in the household." Brooke replied.
Question # 8 Please give a name for everyone that lives with you including yourself on the first line.
Dakota Roth
Brooke Roth
"Whoop-de-do, now they know our names." Dakota muttered.
"Well, can't we put fake ones?" Brooke replied. Dakota tried clicking the lines; they were locked.
"Can't change it," Dakota stated. "Shoulda thought of that earlier."
Question # 9 What Pets live with you? Mark the boxes and give a name.
Dog:
Cat:
Fish:
Small Rodent:
Reptile (legged):
Reptile (no legs):
Bird:
Other (specify):
None
"Aww, why can't we have even a fish?" Brooke asked her older sister. Dakota glared.
"NO."
Question # 10 What are the genders of your household?
Female
Female
"It'd kinda be weird to have a guy named either Brooke or Dakota." Dakota said, grinning a bit.
"Well no duh." Brooke replied.
Please enter a valid shipping address (please no P.O. Boxes or other of the sort)
[Submit]
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won Hetalia Axis Powers and/or World Series Units! The Units will be:
◘ Canada/Matthew Williams
◘ Romano/South Italy/ Lovino Vargas
◘ England/Arthur Kirkland
◘ Italian Republic/North Italy/Feliciano Vargas
◘ French Republic/Francis Bonnefoy
◘ Peoples Republic of China/Yao Wang
◘ Prussia/Order of the Teutonic Knights/Kingdom of Prussia/Gilbert Beilschmidt
◘ Russian Federation/Ivan Braginski
◘ Federal Republic of Germany/Ludwig
◘ United States of America/Alfred F. Jones
◘ Japan/Kiku Honda
We sincerely hope you enjoy your units (which shall arrive in the aforementioned order) and we hope that you enjoy your day!
Thank you!
[Okay!] [Cancel]
"Gak! The Neon came back!" Dakota fumbled and clicked on one of the buttons.
"You clicked on the Okay button!" Brooke exclaimed.
"Oops. We would have enough room for a bunch more people, right?" Dakota said sheepishly.
"Using couches, yes." Brooke said. "I just hope France isn't in there."
"You are worried about France? I worried if we get Russia first or something!" Dakota retorted. Brooke stared at her.
"Russia can be bargained with-you know, with sunflowers or vodka. If we give France wine, he gets drunk and more perverted. If we give him roses, he'll think we like him or some random crap like that!" Brooke argued, waving her arms around.
"True, true. Heck, I hope we don't get Korea." Dakota finally decided.
"Korea would be too hard to deal with." Brooke agreed.
"Or their little versions would be troublesome." Dakota continued with a shrug.
"Shikamaru." Brooke said and started giggling.
~Time Skip (2 weeks)~
Ding~dong
"Huh? What'd you order this time, Brooke?" Dakota called out into the house. She was laying on a couch, reading a magazine.
"Wha? Nothing, sis!" Brooke called from the kitchen, where she was making her breakfast. Late breakfast of course, but it was still breakfast if it was breakfast foods-right?
"I'll get it then." Dakota walked over the the door and unlocked the dead bolt.
"Package for Dakota Roth." The delivery man said, looking at the papers on his clipboard.
"That's me." Dakota replied. He nodded.
"Can you sign here? The next one will come sometime in a month." the delivery man said as she handed back the clipboard with the now signed papers. "Here's the manual."
"Uh...thanks?" Dakota replied uncertainly. The man gave a slight sympathetic smile. He then proceeded to wheel a large crate into the entryway. He gave a little wave as he left, closing the door. I looked at the title of the manual.
Matthew Williams: User Guide and Manual
"Um..." Dakota said.
"Stop it, you are being weird again!" Brooke replied, walking over with a piece of buttered toast. Dakota showed her the packet. "Oh cheese niz."
"Well, it isn't France!" Dakota managed cheerfully. "It's just good ol' Canada."
"Old Canada? Dude, Canada became fully independent in the '80s! It should be Li'l Canada." Brooke argued. Dakota sighed.
"It's an idiom." Dakota shook her head sadly. "But it is also sad how you know this."
"Education is not a bad thing!"
"You learned it from the Internet. Not school," Dakota shook her head. "Anyway, since we are not boys or heterosexual things like Justin Beiber, let's read the manual."
"I'm sorry!" a faint voice called out. Both girls jumped in surprise.
"What the Eff...censor!" Dakota shouted.
"Gyah?" Brooke yelped. She grabbed the manual from her sister. "Uhh, speed skimming, speed skimming... oh! You accidentally made him wake up. It was the Justina Beaver reference."
"Really?" Dakota asked, looking over her sister's shoulder. "Huh, I guess I did. He is more of an American mistake though, did you see the video of him 'playing' Trumpet? It was horrible!"
"Yeah, but back to the problem at hand-hey, Canada, I'm guessing that you can hear us in there. Are you able to breathe?"
"...yes." Canada's reply was really faint.
"Dude, you HAVE to speak up." Dakota said.
"Right... I'll get a crowbar." Brooke said, abandoning her now-cold toast a few feet from the door.
"It's in the garage!" Dakota yelled after her sister. "And don't leave random food randomly on the floor!"
"Yeah, yeah." Brooke waved off her sister's commentary. "It's on a plate!"
Faint laughter could be heard from the crate. Brooke marched back over there.
"Canada's laughing at us." Dakota said flatly.
"... sorry..."
"Aw, he sounds so cute." Dakota squeed slightly.
"Yeah, but I'm not opening that crate now. He laughed at me!" Brooke said, fuming
"I laugh at you though and you still help me." Dakota said.
"But you're my older sister! You're supposed to laugh at me!" Brooke replied, beginning to pull a puppy-dog face.
"Well than I'm getting the crowbar." Dakota said. "'Cause I'm NICE to people in boxes!"
"Hang on. Canada, for method number four-ice hockey-it says that you're able to break out on your own." Brooke said, thinking.
"Of course Canada is an avid hockey fan, who wouldn't be up here in the north? Especially when the Northern American countries decide to wipe the ice rink with the European athletes." Dakota said with a shrug.
"Right and I love street hockey. Watching a sport is boring-get active instead. Anyway, could you please open the box?"
"You honestly need to get on the ice more." Dakota said.
"I'm sorry for not being coordinated on thin pieces of metal on solidified water!" Brooke fumed at Dakota.
"Even I learned after a bit of determination, you cling to the wall the whole time!" Dakota replied. "And frankly I'm not specialist."
"Right... determination... yeah, I don't have that. I do know how to fall spectacularly, however!" Brooke replied. "'Sides, street hockey's more intense-if you fall, ow!"
"I know, I play it with you. Ice has nothing on concrete and gravel. I like the winter version as well, when we play on the little ice that formed on the street." Dakota said, backing up slowly.
"... can you please stand back?" Canada asked. "I don't want to hit you, eh..."
The two stood back as the side got kicked open. Brooke winced as a piece of wood sliced her arm.
"Brooke!" Dakota said in alarm.
"I'll be fine-tis but a scratch!" Brooke said, holding a hand over the cut.
"I would love to continue quoting Monty Python, but that is not a joke!" Dakota said. "I'll help you bandage it."
"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!" Canada started chanting.
"Nah, it's okay; I get more banged up in two seconds of street hockey than this. Sis, it stopped bleeding-look!" She waved her arm in her sister's face.
"You are going to open it back up if you keep doing that, genius!" Dakota fumbled to restrain her sister's flailing arm. "Eh, just go put a band-aid on it, i's not as bad as I thought."
"You are so loving." Brooke said as she walked over to the bathroom band-aid box. "You must be glad all my shots are up to date."
"No they aren't. There is a new required shot for college." Dakota said.
"NOOOOO!" Brooke yelled dramatically. "How will I survive?"
"By not acting like a Drama Princess." Dakota replied sharply.
Canada laughed slightly at the exchange. "You sound like my brother and me eh..."
The two girls looked at each other and shrugged.
"I guess sibling relations are pretty similar." Dakota said. "Now if you excuse me, I'm going to finish reading the manual so I don't keep accidentally doing things I didn't mean to."
Canada and Brooke laughed at Dakota.
"Wait, I don't think we told you our names. I'm Brooke, that's Dakota." Brooke explained to Canada.
"Yo." Dakota said, giving a peace sign with one hand. "And yes, my name is the same as two of the Northern Midwest States. It's annoying when people keep reminding me about that."
"Crap! I'm going to be late to work!" Brooke said after glancing at the clock on the wall.
"Go, I'll stay here with Canada." Dakota said. Brooke scrambled, pulling on her flats and grabbing her name badge.
"I'm going to get off work around 4, see you later!" Brooke waved and grabbed her car keys.
"...right." Dakota said as the engine started up and Brooke pulled out of the driveway (in a car). "So Canada, we need to get you a room."
"Oui." He replied and picked up his belongings. Dakota led him up to a room.
"Here you go! And after you put away your stuff, we need to write up a resume for you. We are going to need more income if we get destructive Units or a lot of them." she said.
"True, eh..." Canada said with a slight smile. Dakota hurried back downstairs to start drafting a resume for the northern country. "How did she not forget about me?"
"Who are you?" the polar bear asked.
"I'm Canada! Your owner!" Canada said. Kumajirou, since the manual had clearly stated this was the bear's name, yawned and fell asleep in Canada's arms. He walked back downstairs to see Dakota typing away at a computer. Canada coughed slightly.
"Oh! Hi Canada. I was working on a resume for you. How do you spell your name? I know Matthew has a ton of different spellings." Dakota said.
"The normal American way would be fine." Canada said.
"You are so agreeable." she said and typed in his name. "I'm having you be from the school Brooke went to, I think there was at least four Matthews there. You played hockey with the school and with an outside group, which changes members really frequently and the coach can't even remember everyone's names. And this will be your first job."
"I got it." he replied softly.
"Look it over please." Dakota said, handing him a copy. "And I hope you have a nice outfit."
"Eh..." Canada said, rubbing the back of his head. Dakota face-palmed.
"Let's see what we have." she said and dragged Canada back up to his room.
The end result was using a button-down shirt Dakota's cousin had left and never asked for it to be returned, Canada's military pants and boots, and the winter jacket.
"How old are you and your sister?" Canada asked as Dakota grabbed her jacket and boots.
"Hm? Oh, I'm 21 and Brooke's 18. Legal to live on our own." Dakota said grabbing the printed 'resume' and car keys. "Kumajirou, can you stay at home? We'll bring you salmon if you are good."
"Okay." the bear said and climbed up on the couch to take a nap. Dakota set out some of the cooked fish that they hadn't touched from the night before.
~Time skip about a week later~
BANG BANG BANG
Brooke opened the door and blinked at Matthew. "Wha?" She asked extremely sleepily.
"Get up; you're going to be late." Matthew scolded. Brooke looked at a clock.
"HOSH-I'm going to be late!" Brooke yelled and closed the door in Matthew's face. He walked back downstairs to the kitchen to finish up the pancakes. A few minutes later Brooke thumped down the stairs, brushing her hair. She slipped on her shoes, grabbed her car key and a pancake before rushing out the door.
"Hey! I'm going to the same place!" Matthew rushed out in pursuit with his name tag and a plate with some pancakes.
Out on the street Dakota waved from her car to Brooke and Matthew as they passed going opposite directions. She was just returning from dropping off a couple articles to the newspaper and magazine and the meetings with the two. She had just gone back inside when the door bell rang.
A/N: Who will be next? Will Dakota accidentally wake them up like she did to Canada? Find out next time!Okay then, enough silliness. Here's a bit of the info sheet we ended up using:Name: Dakota Roth
Age: 21 [has AA, taking break before 2 more years to Bachelors]
Hair: Dirty blonde (Switzerland cut)
Eyes: brown
Height: 5' 7"
Clothing style: jeans, guy shirts, boots, camo hat, brown leather jacket (if wearing jacket)
Job: Writer for local newspaper and magazineName: Brooke Roth
Age: 18 [high school grad, taking year off]
Hair: Short, dark brown (boy cut, so shorter than D's)
Eyes: brown, nearly black
Height: 5' 7"
Clothing style: dark colors, skinny jeans, dark shirt, black & white flats, black jacket (even more infrequent wear than D's)
Job: Works at King of Prussia Macy'sCountries introduced actual dates of independence/other-ness:Canada (fully independent from England in 1982! NOT KIDDING!)Read and Review please.