I obviously own nothing, including the title that was borrowed from the Relient K song "Must Have Done Something Right". My mistakes are my own.
If Anyone Could Make Me a Better Person (you could)
From the first time Neal Caffrey saw Peter Burke, he knew he wanted the agent's respect. Neal was well aware that Peter would never condone the lifestyle he lead but he wanted to give the man a reason to remember him. A reason to feel impressed.
So out came the big guns then – metaphorically of course. Neal's cons were now flashier and more obvious. Not enough to get him caught but enough to allow Peter to keep up. Enough to let Peter know it was him.
Neal tries not to analyze where the feeling comes from. The need to leave an impression on the agent who could easily outsmart him, if not for the lack of experience and old tricks. Neal tells himself that he lets Peter get close intentionally—and it's somewhat true—but often he find Peter is closer on his trail than expected.
The day Peter Burke catches the great Neal Caffrey is exactly what he's been waiting for.
He knew it would happen someday, somewhere, but to know that it's Peter makes it worth it. Peter is worthy of this catch—deserves it even. Neal knows how conceited that makes him but what this does to Peter's career can't be ignored. Or should Neal say their career.
The day Peter Burke finally catches Neal Caffrey is nothing like what he expected.
It's cloudy and cool and Peter feels disappointed that the weather doesn't reflect this monumental event in his life. After endless hours without sleep, millions of coffees and forgotten meals, this is how Caffrey is caught. The moment should be more. It should reflect the impact this has had on his life. The arrest feels so anticlimactic.
Where's the explosions? The chasing and the rush of blood as victory becomes clear?
Peter looks Neal in the eyes after handcuffing him and Jesus. He didn't know a man could be so beautiful.
All the chasing, taunting, and game playing has come down to this. Peter's going to miss it like hell. He thinks that Caffrey must understand. Neal Caffrey's voice pulls Peter from his brooding.
"Hey." The corner of Caffrey's mouth is turned up in a hint of a smile and Peter feels thrown off.
"Hey yourself. You're under arrest."
Neal smiles then, pearly whites shining despite the lack of sun, "I know."
Well then.
When Peter gets home that night, he sits on the couch alone with his thoughts. He knows that Elizabeth would listen but he doesn't want to disturb her. Peter feels like a huge chapter of his life has just ended and he isn't sure where to go from here. Neal Caffrey had been the center of his life.
Peter wishes he wasn't embarrassed by that thought. He wishes that Caffrey had been more of a difficult goal than an obsession. He wishes.
When he finishes wishing he goes to bed, looks at Elizabeth and thinks that the universe must be laughing at him.
Peter is sitting at his desk the next day when mail comes for him.
It's a small card with a picture of a young boy holding a huge fish. Inside it says "Congrats on your big catch. –NC"
The card is so ludicrous that Peter can't help but smile. Caffrey must be insane.
Despite the peculiarity, the card makes Peter feel better. He stands the card up on his desk next to a framed photo of him and El. He glances at the card more that he'd like to admit.
The message makes Peter think Caffrey is losing his touch but the way he constantly thinks of it makes Peter suspect that this was Neal's plan all along. As if he could forget.
When Neal leaves prison to consult for the Bureau it feels like all is right in the world to Peter. It feels like coming home. Neal's got that blinking tracker strapped around his ankle and it's a lifeline to Peter. It's reassurance he didn't know he needed. He knows Neal notices the card on his desk every time they're in his office. Neal hasn't mentioned it yet and Peter feels eternally grateful.
Neal at the Bureau scares Peter though. It shows him that this was about more than just the chase. It was Neal.
Peter's nervous when El and Neal first meet. His concern turns out to be unfounded. Neal looks at Elizabeth with young adoration and the way El looks at Neal shows that she approves of the man who stole so much of her husband's time.
El has him bring Neal home for dinner often and to Peter it feels like he always has. Neal drinking wine next to his wife in their home feels more like home than he would ever admit. He tries not to think
about it.
Sometimes Peter misses the times before he had caught Neal. Sure, everything is organized and neat now, but it's not the same. It will never be the same.
Sure, he sees Neal everyday now and they work on the same side for once, but he misses the chase, the adventure.
Peter thinks that chasing Neal around the world might be the most alive he's ever felt. The cities, the crimes, the close calls, the cons and Caffrey.
It must be poetic justice that after years of striving to catch Neal Caffrey, what he now wants more than anything is the freedom that came with chasing him.
Peter thinks he must be going insane. Mid-life crisis maybe? He needs a vacation.
When Peter finally takes a vacation, it's too no one's surprise that he takes both El and Neal. Sometimes he thinks the two are closer than he is with either individual. This scares him a little.
They three of them are lying on a beach in some island in the middle of nowhere that Neal recommended and it feels a bit like salvation. Like here, Peter finally has room to breathe.
Peter loves the chases and the excitement that comes with cases and arrests but here in isolation with Neal and El… There's nothing better.
Elizabeth and Neal are murmuring to each other in a way that makes him suspicious so he takes the time to study them both.
El is radiant and smiling like always and this climate certainly suits her. Neal is as gorgeous as ever but Peter can't quite get used to seeing him without the tracker on his ankle. After all, what good is it when they're on vacation?
When Neal looks back on his own capture and recruitment by the FBI, he'll remember it as a major point in his life. Maybe not the best thing to ever happen to him, but certainly not the worst. It brought him a career, friends, a family.
Some days, Neal misses the chases, the cons and the thefts but even he admits that it can be fun on the other side of the law. Knowing that future cons have no idea what they're up against. Not a clue.
He's content where he is. With the FBI. With El and Peter. With the blinking tracker around his ankle that often comes off.
It all feels a lot like home.