Ye cannot unlock your heart,
The key is gone with them;
The silent organ loudest chants
The master's requiem.

- Dirge, Ralph Waldo Emerson

.

"Where do you want me to start?" Boss Wolf asks, turning over a bun in his paw like a betting chip. He speaks with the collected air of a gambler, of someone who doesn't want to reveal too much, lest it betrays the cards he holds in his hands and those that he doesn't.

"The very beginning. After I…"

"Ah, yes." Boss Wolf's voice turns husky and attritive, and the corner of his mouth twitches. Searching for the words to use, he embroils himself in a silent struggle not to burst out into the accusations simmering in his mind, even though he would be justified in doing so anyways. The fires of that cinnabar night seem to erupt in his eyes as he speaks, a prophet recanting his parable.

"After you struck me down, it wasn't immediate," Boss Wolf says, looking downwards with distant eyes, as though he is recalling something far-off and older than themselves. "It felt numb at first – the bite of metal piercing my flesh – and then the pain started all over. I hit the deck and I tried to get up but failed, bleeding out through my neck and just gaping at the shock of it all, at what you'd done. Then I tried to apply pressure to halt the bleeding, but I was already choking on my blood, suffocating behind you." His gaze lifts to Shen. "I saw you fire the cannon. You killed members of my pack to get to the panda and his gang. My brothers turned to ash before me as I lay dying."

Shen stares at Boss Wolf, willing himself not to look away because that would mean submission. "They took an oath to serve me till death, and that they did," he whispers carelessly. Did he look towards them, though, as they writhed and fell before him? He was caught up in vengeance and hysteria and rage and he was all of those things at once – death seemed so trifling at the time, a watermark stain in his ledger book of necessary sacrifices. There had been so many; what were a few more discarded lackeys?

The wolf's eyes narrows and the beginnings of a snarl brush his lips. He settles for a thin smile, horrible and ugly in all that it doesn't say, all that he won't say. "That we did. That we did.

"Didn't take long after you blasted your way through the harbour like a madman. I couldn't breathe through the smoke all around me and my own thick blood filled my mouth and throat and lungs, and it burned and burned and burned like boiling water inside my chest. The fear and panic made it so much worse because I remember fighting against it and I couldn't stop the mist from coming and swallowing me up; my arms were heavier than metal and I wanted to scream but I didn't have the air for that, and I was sinking deep into nothing, drowning on dry land.

"It was pure torture, all the while."

A tremble prickles over Shen's skin. He had gone for an instant kill shot with his knives when that had happened, but the lighting had been poor and he wasn't thinking straight then to maximise precision and accuracy. Faced with Boss Wolf's refusal to deploy the cannon, Shen had reflexively yanked a blade from his robes and threw it without a second thought in the heat of combat and betrayal. All he wanted to do was to kill the panda, and Boss Wolf was standing in his way. Isn't that what you do with obstructions? You remove them, and yet with that logical progression whirring in his mind he cannot stop his hands from shaking in his lap. He stones his expression to keep the guilt out, and to keep the tears in.

"And…and then what happened?"

"I woke up," he says simply. "Right here in the Tower of Sacred Flame, in the dank and the dark and cold, completely fine and my neck all right. My eye could open again. I could see out of my injured eye." Boss Wolf touches the left side of his face and Shen notices the unbruised organ, glassy, healthy and fully functional as it was before the panda pogrom. "For some reason, I wasn't already dead. The place was so quiet and empty; it felt like something terrible had happened. There didn't seem to be anyone else around so I explored a little bit.

"The darkness wasn't that much of a problem. Night vision and all that, you know, plus I had both eyes to use. Navigating around was also pretty easy; must have been only hours since we left the place and I still knew the layout well. But there was no way out because all the entrances were locked up tighter than a drum, and I must have spent a few hours moving up and down the entire tower looking for an exit. Should have given up by the second time I did it, but making sure never hurts."

He pauses to take a breath, and resignation crosses his face. Pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them, Boss Wolf looks ready to cry. "I thought I was going to die in here," he says, covering his face with his paws. Strangely, Shen finds himself empathising with his former right paw man, having endured the exact same prospect just a few hours previously. The snappy request for the wolf to continue catches in Shen's throat, and he waits for Boss Wolf to collect himself sufficiently to resume his tale.

Wiping his eyes and sniffling, Boss Wolf lets out a crow of mirthless laughter. "To die slowly and painfully not just once, but twice in the same day – I guess that's karma for you.

"There was little I could do besides waiting for something, anything, to happen. On the ground floor, there's a little alcove that I slept in for a couple of hours, even though I was anything but tired and sleeping was a frightful option. I thought that maybe when I woke up I'd be back on your boat with a knife in my neck and bleeding to death once again. Either way, I would end up dead anyway, so eventually I slept.

"Then something woke me," he says. "I smelt copper and injury and it was new blood scenting the air outside, infiltrating into the tower where I was." My blood, Shen thinks, remembering the savage skirmish with Thundering Rhino out in the courtyard. "There wasn't much of it for me to be sure, but enough for me to notice in here. Just as I was about to run over to the doors to double check, they opened, and oh, the light!" Boss Wolf closes his eyes, letting the exuberance of that moment overcome him like it did before. He gives a dreamy smile, lost in boundless, untainted ecstasy. "The light," he repeats. "I'd nearly forgotten what daylight looked like, and there it was before me.

"Instinct told me to run as quickly as I could, and I did. I couldn't have reached the doors faster. Looking out into the open, I saw you walking up the stairs, and I retreated back into the tower."

A strange feeling starts to claw its way up Shen's body, and he feels slightly ill. He thinks it might be anger, or perhaps dread, both of which are distinct possibilities now that Boss Wolf is approaching the details of his inhospitable confrontation. Knowing how part of the tale ends calms him enough not to strike out at the wolf.

"At first, I was happy that I wasn't alone. That there was someone else besides me around and maybe we could work out a solution to this whole thing together.

"But I thought for a while about what you had done, and I was so angry. I was furious. I hated you for turning on me when all I did was protect the ones I loved, when all I did was try to save blood members of my own family. My kin died in your name, died in vain, and you walked over their bodies as though their lives meant nothing. I wanted to make you pay but I didn't know how and you entered the tower so quickly there wasn't room to think.

"The doors closed, and I saw you falter, blindsided and addled by the sudden dark. I followed you for a while, trying to improvise a plan. Not exactly my strongest suit, though, and I didn't notice that I was standing too close to you as we reached the base of the stairs."

Both of them still, fully aware of what comes next in full detail but Boss Wolf must be the one to say it because he's telling this story and Shen is the listener.

"You attacked, tried to land a kick. It was clumsy and so easy to dodge, and I knew then that I outmatched you even though you're a better fighter than me because you couldn't see and I could. Even the best warriors need to have whatever they want to hit in their sight."

His voice is barely a whisper at this point, almost confidential. "I beat you to the ground and stomped on your legs, waiting for the crack of bone under my paws so I knew that I had hurt you. I thought that I had you, and there was no way you could fight back. Guess I was wrong."

"As if I'd just lie there and take it. Killed by someone too cowardly to fight fair? Not I! You sorely underestimated me, wolf," Shen mutters acidly.

Boss Wolf blinks hard in surprise, looking inquisitive. He taps his chin mockingly. "You seriously believe you have the moral authority to lecture me on fighting fair, sir? I'd consider paying heed to you only after you'd gotten rid of all your cannons and boats, and that's not even a promise."

Shen springs to his feet at this perceived effrontery, his eyes flashing a warning. "You dare –"

Boss Wolf copies him perfectly, down to the threatening glare. "Yes, I do dare, Lord Shen, because I'm not the wolf you knew. Not anymore. And unless you aren't interested in hearing what happened to me, you'll let me talk!"

Shen scowls, but closes his beak and folds his arms before plonking back on the floor and turning away mutinously. "Carry on, then," he concedes.

Boss Wolf huffs in frustration and sinks back into a seated position before picking up where he left off. "Your attack was…unexpected, to say the least. Unexpected, but effective. It felt like my head was going to fall off my shoulders and the entire room heaved beneath my feet as though I was really, really seasick. I couldn't see or fight properly in that state, and I was afraid that you'd be armed, so I fled upstairs to recover. Probably a lapse in judgement, though – you'd have used your weapons sooner if you had any. You don't, do you?"

Shen rolls his eyes and shakes his head. "Trust me when I say that if I did, I'd have killed you easily. Again."

"Of course you would have," Boss Wolf replies slyly, his words dripping sarcasm. He continues quickly when he sees Shen attempting to rebut. "Once I hit the ninth floor, I had some time to think about what I'd do once you caught up to me. Fighting where we could see each other would certainly mean my defeat, so I had to stay within the shadows. On the other hand, I saw that the lights had come on around the lower floors and I didn't know if the rest of the lanterns would do the same all the way to the top of the tower. If that happened, a head-on attack would be suicide.

"They didn't, and I was thankful for that. I heard you approaching below me, and I got ready to strike.

"You surprised me again with that lantern – I thought that you were just aimlessly blundering around in the dark without anything to light your way. I panicked for a second because I wasn't sure if you could see enough to defend yourself and just went for it immediately. Then the chase began, and you somehow locked yourself in here." He glances back at the cupboard, rubbing his right arm where he'd tackled the door with.

"I didn't pull it over in time, if that's what you're thinking," Shen says calmly. "No, I had to hold the blasted thing shut and you weren't planning on making it easy, were you, wolf?"

Boss Wolf looks impressed and watches with genuine awe as Shen snags the last bun. "Humph. Didn't think you had that in you, Lord Shen. Always thought that…never mind."

"Yes. Well. Go on; what did you do afterwards? What of the turtle?" He bites off bits of the pastry and laves more tea into his mouth, feeling oddly proud.

"Turtle? Oh, right. Sorry. Forgot for a moment.

"He came to me out of nowhere. Walked up the stairs with a lamp and a staff as if he did it everyday, hauling this huge haversack and asked me to follow him. I just stared at him wondering if I should attack or not, but he just threw the haversack at me and started walking to the ninth floor. Didn't know what I was supposed to think at the time, so I grabbed it and went after him.

"When we reached the kitchen he started taking everything out of the haversack – pots, flour, flint stones, everything a cook would need. He handed me an apron." Boss Wolf smiles, half-abashed, half-amused, at the sight of Shen's eyebrows swooping together in incredulity. "We started making buns; he showed me how and even said it was a pity that he didn't bring anything to stuff them with since plain buns could be pretty unappetising.

"He spoke to me about you while we waited for the buns to finish steaming. That I shouldn't blame you or cling to old vengeances that I wouldn't be able to carry out in life or in death. I told him no."

The granular remains of the last bun fall to the floor like sand sifting through fingers. Shen tests the words on his tongue carefully. "Spoken like a true avenger," he murmurs, clenching his jaw. "Guess I did teach you something useful after all." He shoots Boss Wolf an aloof sideways glance, thinking it will diminish him somehow.

To his surprise, Boss Wolf is entirely unperturbed by this, opting to shake his head uselessly. "You're not listening to me. I told him no. But then we talked some more, and he asked me if I still remembered what you were like before all of this. This madness. And I…I remembered so much of I'd forgotten a long time ago, what I'd lost to this tiresome, endless war. You and me. We used to play ultimate tag together in these hallways," Boss Wolf says, his voice flattening, splintering with every passing syllable.

Disconcertment grips Shen quickly, and he stands up once more even though his shaking knees threaten to buckle under his weight. "Why are you telling me this?" he asks quietly, their ancient, blithesome laughter echoing in his ears along with the dull pounding of his heart.

"All those years we had together – there was nothing I wouldn't do with you, Lord Shen. Oh, I swear you were the absolute best of me." Boss Wolf looks up with eyes that glisten with tears and memory. "We'd chase time itself to the four corners of the world to touch the stars if we could, and we even made a map, remember? To run away and never look back at what we'd leave behind. Every night since that day happened when I gained a king and lost my friend, I always looked at you and thought of that map. Of what we used to be, and what could have been in place of our pointless exile. And I wondered if you ever did the same."

"No! Never!" Shen cries urgently. "What is this? Some…some awful mind trick I'm supposed to listen to? A psych analysis? Don't think you can just get inside my head like that and do whatever it is you're planning on doing!" He snatches up the oil lamp and runs for the door, desperation commandeering his limbs, taking him as far away from Boss Wolf as possible, to a place without him so that he can pretend what was said didn't manage to touch him to his very heart and soul.

.

Up in the kitchen, Shen hides behind one of the counters, feeling his eyes burn. Stale dough has crusted over the tabletops and he can still hear the slow bubble of water in a pot on the charcoal stove behind him. There's a stirring movement on his left and the same nose from before slides over his shoulder. Rotating his head slowly, he sees Boss Wolf propping himself beside Shen, his face drawn into a tired, pleading expression.

He whispers, "Back there, I meant everything I said; I really did. I don't know if you still think of me as a friend, but I think of you as mine. I made a pact at seven that we'd be friends until the day we died, and I intend to honour that pact. Friends forgive each other, and you're always and forever forgiven. Truly, completely forgiven."

Boss Wolf offers Shen his paw, upon which sits a tiny, rusted piece of metal twisted into a key.

A/N: Title is from a chapter of the Japanese manga, Bleach.