Ok, ok. I swear I'll get back to my more serious story after this. I just needed to get this Spamano fixation out of my system. So, it currently doesn't hav much of a plot, but the last story I said didn't have a plot developed a very scary one. This will be the humor I write when I either have writer's block, or I need a break from a particularly glum story. If you guys want I'll be happy to come up with some kind of side story for other pairings. So, without further ado, enjoy!

Romano was brought out of his sleep by a tickling on his earlobe. He brought up a hand to brush it away. The sensation retreated, and he settled in to continue his nap. Just as he slipped back into dreamland, the tickling returned. He identified it as a finger running over his ear, down the back of his neck, and back up again. If it was who he thought it was, that man was going to have hell to pay. Once again, Romano brushed the finger away, with a small groan of discomfort, trying to communicate to his assailant his irritation without having to do more than brush the annoyance away. There was a small laugh, and he felt hot breath against his skin as the finger continued its path.

Three… Two… One…

"You tomato eating bastardo! What the hell are you doing? I was fucking trying to sleep!" Romano leapt to his feet and began to pound the life out of the smiling idiot who had just disturbed his siesta.

Spain grinned and bore the brunt of Romano's attack with good humor. "Aw, Lovi~! You're so cute when you're angry!" Antonio gushed, his smile widening.

Lovino slapped the idiotic Spaniard. "What the hell? Don't tell me you fucking woke me up from a great dream to say that!" he half-screamed. "And I am not cute!"

Antonio only laughed and pulled the small Italian into a tight embrace. "Of course not, querido! You were just sleeping so long that you were going to miss dinner, so I thought I'd wake you so we can begin cooking," he replied.

The Italian's face turned red as a tomato at the contact. "It's Feliciano's turn to cook dinner, and what the hell do you mean we can begin cooking?" Lovino shouted, mostly to cover the slight tremor that developed in his voice. Since when did this bastard make him so nervous?

The Spaniard placed his hands on Lovino's shoulder and pushed him away so the two were face-to-face. Lovino's breath caught at the close distance. Two inches, and he could just kiss—kill the bastard! How dare he make Lovino this flustered! Before either could speak, the younger nation slapped Antonio hard across the face again, and jumped to the other side of the couch (on which he'd fallen asleep earlier that day). Antonio only laughed at the sight of his small love panting wildly, looking very much like a cornered animal, a flush painting his face.

"Wh-what is it, bastard?" Lovino made sure to maintain the distance between them, afraid of the painful pounding of his heart.

Antonio smiled that idiotic smile of his. "Oh nothing, just thinking how cute you were, all hot and bothered like that~!" He paused to watch the Italian burn with embarrassment at the statement; then cut him off before he could think up a comeback. "Anyway, poor Feli is sick. Probably from something he ate." Lovino knew they shouldn't have accepted Alfred's offer for lunch. He had no idea how the American had managed to convince his picky eater of a brother to eat at that horrid fast-food joint. Lovino himself was feeling a little under the weather from the horribly greasy burger he ate.

"So? You can fucking make dinner by yourself then! I'm going back to sleep!" With that, Lovino curled back up on the cushions to continue with his nap. Then he realized what was off about the situation. He shot up again. "What the hell are you doing in my house?"

"Well, I heard Alfred treated the Italian brothers to lunch today, so I assumed you'd be a little sick and decided to come take care of mi little querido~!" he explained.

Lovino shot Antonio a fierce glare. "You better not tell me you told Alfred to treat us to lunch just so we could be sick, as part of some huge master plan of yours." A sheepish smile adorned Spain's features as he said this. Mierda! "You bastard!"

They around the living room as Lovino attempted to murder the conniving Antonio, and the latter attempted to avoid his impending death. Finally, Romano ran out of energy. He collapsed on the couch to regain his breath. "You… Bastard… I'll… Kill you…" Lovino panted.

"I knew mi tomate was strong enough to resist Alfred's food~!"

"Bastardo! You tried to poison me!" Lovino paused to breathe. "And I'm not a fucking tomato, idiot!"

Antonio wagged his finger. "Ah, I didn't try to poison you, querido! I only wanted to make you dinner!"

"You poisoned my brother!" That statement seemed to give Lovino a burst of energy, and he launched himself at Antonio. The two nations tumbled to the ground, Lovino on the top, trying to strangle the life out of Spain.

"Vee~. Fratello, what's going on?" The commotion had awoken Feliciano, who came into the living room, worried his brother was being murdered.

Lovino looked up from trying to kill Spain. His younger brother definitely looked sick. Feliciano's face was a faint shade of green, and he had to lean against the wall for support.

"Ah, big brother Spain~!" Feliciano tried to run over and tackle the older nation, but stumbled. He decided it was safer to remain by the wall, where he could remain in an upright position. Suddenly, he noticed Lovino on top of Antonio. "Eh? Fratello, what are you doing to big brother Spain?"

Antonio waved, as if nothing was wrong. "Hola, Feli~! Me and Lovino are just spending some quality time together!" he said.

Feliciano tilted his head, curious. "Vee~, are you two having sex?" he asked. Lovino felt a wave of heat crash over his body as he realized the suggestive position the two nations were in.

"As a matter of fact we were—ouch!" Antonio had to cut off short to nurse a large bump on his head from Lovino's fist.

"We were not fucking having sex, you perverted bastard!"

"Then why are you on top of me, Lovi~?" Antonio question teasingly.

Lovino wrapped his hands around the offending nation's throat and began to throttle him. "You know very well why I'm fucking on top of you, so don't twist the situation around or I'll fucking kill you, you fucking asshole!" he yelled.

"Ehh! Fratello, you're going to kill big brother Spain!"

"That's the fucking point!"

"Fratello!"

A few minutes later, Antonio was freed from Lovino's lethal grip, and Feliciano was sent promptly to bed with the promise of pasta for dinner. Spain and Romano were in the kitchen, with the former watching Lovino's trembling fingers attempt to tie the apron strings securely around his waist. Antonio moved to stand behind the small nation and took control of the situation, grabbing the strings.

"There you are, Lovi~! All tied!" Antonio said cheerfully.

Romano blushed. "Gratzi… Bastardo," he added under his breath. Antonio chose to ignore the insult, taking it instead as a term of endearment (in which case, his dear Lovino spewed words of love from his precious lips quite often), and he moved to the counter.

"I'll cut the tomatoes, and you prepare the water for the pasta," Antonio said.

Lovino rolled his eyes. "It's not like that's very much work, idiot," he muttered under his breath, but did as he was told. Seconds later, the pot of water was set on the stove to boil, and the Italian busied himself with other preparations necessary for a good dish of pasta.

They worked in surprising silence for the next few minutes. Even more shockingly, it was Lovino who first broke the comfortable silence that settled between them. "I'm surprised that the potato eating bastard didn't hear about Fratello being sick, and isn't over here being stupid and lovey-dovey toward him," Lovino commented.

Antonio put down the knife. "Oh, that'll probably cheer Feli up! I'll call Ludwig right now~!"

As he reached for the phone, a small knife sunk into the wall right next to his outstretched hand. Antonio looked nervously at Lovino, who was glaring daggers at the Spaniard (including the one he'd just thrown).

"Don't you fucking dare!" Lovino snarled. "I don't want that idiot anywhere near my fratello! Knowing him, he'd just make it worse!"

Before Lovino knew what happened, he was enveloped in another of Antonio's bear hugs. His breath caught at the suddenness of it all. "Oh, Lovi~! You're so cute when you're being so protective of Feli~!" he gushed.

Lovino forced himself to breathe. "I—idiot. Of course I did, he's my brother," he said; voice a lot softer than it had been that afternoon.

He felt Antonio stiffen slightly, unusually still, even for a hug. "Lovino?" he said tentatively, his voice a more serious tone.

"Wh—what?" Lovino felt a sense of foreboding at the other nation's strange behavior.

"I love you, querido."

Lovino exhaled in relief. "Idiot. That's all?"

"Say you love me, too."

Romano felt the heat pool in his gut, spreading through his entire body. Although technically the two nations were lovers, Lovino denied the notion at every mention. Both parties knew the deep feelings they had for each other, despite Lovino's insistence to the contrary, since the days when Romano, separated from his brother in Spain's household, worked as a maid to the light-hearted idiot.

"You know I do, already!"

Antonio's arms tightened fractionally. "Say it, por favor."

"I…" Lovino cleared his throat. "I love you, too… Toni," he added, for emphasis.

"Aw, Lovi, you said my nickname~! Que linda~!" Antonio suddenly had the tiny nation in a bone-crushing hug.

"Damn it, bastard! Let go of me!" he gasped. Lovino struggled against Antonio's grip. "We've got pasta to make! Let go!" He was no match for the thrilled nation, who was busy placing kisses on every inch of available skin. Lovino punched Antonio in the head, and finally succeeded in being released from the prison that was Antonio's arms. He quickly scuttled to the other side of the kitchen, glaring at trying to look intimidating.

"And for the last time, I am not cute!"

I know, sounds pretty generic right now. As I was writing this, though, I came up with a little conflict next chapter, so hopefully that'll make it a little more unique! Until next time, ciao!