Kate had done her research, like any good mystery writer should. He was a hard, tough, New York City cop. People would say he was the smartest person they had ever met, but he never let emotion slip through his cracks. He came off detached from the world; he would solve murders without a single feeling. And that was why Kate Beckett was going to shadow him. She wanted to crack him down, she wanted to see inside him, and she wanted him to be the inspiration for her next book.

Beckett had seen his picture a few times. He had short hair that fell onto his forehead, blue eyes that screamed with mystery, and a breath taking smile. But seeing a picture of the New York Detective Richard Castle had nothing on seeing him in person.

Rick Castle's eyes seemed like God had dropped down two little pieces of the blue sky and Rick had just so happen to pick them up. They were cold, and filled with edge, but most important; they seem to hold no emotion.

"Hello. My name is Kate Beckett. I will be shadowing you around for 6 months or until I finish my book." Beckett indicated as she stuck out her hand.

"Detective Richard Castle," He instructed, he didn't shake her hand he just gave her a quick nod.

God! She was beautiful, Castle thought. She had hair that just about hit her shoulders; and her eyes could never be considered brown, but nor could they be green. They seem to fit her and her indecisive life. But Castle knew, no matter how much he would ever want her, she was so much better than him.

Beckett dropped her hand down, and shifted her eyes away.

"I'll give you a tour." Castle stated, as he walked into the bullpen. He already was trying to push the idea of loving her out of his head.

"This is my desk, and over there are Esposito and Ryan, they are my partners." Castle pointed to two men who were discussing something that was on the piece of paper one of them was holding. After hearing there names they both looked up. A Spanish looking man nudged the other one, and they started over towards Beckett.

"Well how may I help you? My name is Javi Esposito." The man winked at Kate, and she laughed.

"Cool it Esposito, she's the writer who is going to be shadowing me… us." Castle said through gritted teeth.

Castle had no idea why the sudden urge to claim her as his came over him.

"Ah… I see. This right here is Kevin Ryan." Esposito said as he tipped his head towards the other man.

Ryan just smiled at waved his hand.

"Follow me." Castle said as he walked into what Kate guessed was the interrogation room.

"So cool," Beckett said looking around.

"Just wait until you have a killer sitting in that chair."

Beckett laughed, but Castle just stared at her.

"Well I have to get back to work, I'm sure I can find you a desk or maybe a chair." Castle replied as he walked out of the room.

Beckett looked around some more and than walked out of the room. She spotted Castle sitting at his desk, a chair pulled up next to it; she guessed that that was going to be her spot.

Before Kate could even sit down in the chair, the shrill of Castle's phone rang through the bullpen.

"Castle." He snapped. "Alright… okay thanks." He glanced over to where Beckett was standing. "I've got a murder, stay here and please don't touch anything." He stated grabbing his coat from behind his chair.

"What? You're not going to let me come. Come on this is what I came here to do, shadow you as you solve murders."

Beckett looked at Castle; she was trying to look innocent hoping that he would crack. But even Kate couldn't know how gorgeous she looked to Castle. She was biting her lip, which made him lose focus for the first time in many years.

Castle pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a low sigh.

"Fine. But please don't do anything stupid." Castle said, and Beckett went to go get her coat.

Castle hoped that maybe seeing a dead woman would scare the writer away, but instead it just intrigued her more. She had taken notes on all of the things that Lanie the M.E. had said, she even wrote the time of death.

It was hard being in the car with her too. She smelled like cherries, and she was biting her lip again.

"So now what?" Beckett asked.

"Now?" Castle responded, "Now we bring the family in to tell us about our Vic."

"Ah." Beckett said as she jotted something down in her notebook. "So after that, do we go out to dinner and debrief each other?" Beckett smiled.

Castle wanted to say yes, he wanted to be apart of her world. But that feeling of knowing she was so much better than he was ran through him again.

"No." He stated cold and bitterly.

They pulled into the precinct and headed towards the elevators. There wasn't much room when they had gotten to it. And if Castle had thought being in the car with Beckett was hard, standing shoulder to shoulder to her was hell. He felt electricity flow through his veins and into his heart the whole elevator ride. He had to clench his fists from grabbing her and kissing her.

Once the slightest movement from the elevator doors happened, Castle busted out of there and tried to find something do that didn't involve her.

Beckett sat down in Castle's chair at his desk and started poking around through his papers. She saw information about killers, and the information about victims.

"What the hell do you think your doing?" Castle snapped, causing Kate to jump from the chair.

"I was just looking at the papers. I thought I could get some information." Kate stared wide eyed at him.

"So you assumed you could go through my stuff?" Castle asked with a bitterness that sent chills down Kate's spine.

Even though she was being yelled at by the city's toughest cop, she couldn't stop to think of how handsome he was. Beckett realized though he was waiting for an answer.

"Well… I… you know with the shadowing, I thought I could just… you know, look around." Beckett laughed awkwardly trying to lessen the tension.

"Oh and that too! Why are you even shadowing me? Why out of any person in this whole world would you choose me? You don't even know me." Castle stated his hands clenched at his sides.

"Well don't you think that I am trying?" Beckett commented, "I've known you for what? 3 hours? And you haven't said one thing about your self."

"Don't you think I do that for a reason?" Castle laughed bitterly, "I am trying to keep you out."

Beckett looked at him with soft eyes. "You can try to keep me out, but I still see through you."

"And what's that suppose to mean." Even though Castle was talking low, he still had disdain in his voice.

Beckett matched his voice level, "Well I know you didn't always want to be a cop. And you weren't always so… angry at the world." Beckett began, as Castle sat down. "You lost someone important, someone you love, maybe a parent, or a girlfriend? Who ever it was is irrelevant, but because they died you choose to be a cop."

Castle swallowed, hard. His eyes were no longer intense, but filled with memories.

"You blame yourself for every killer, every murder, and every gun shot fired at a person. Though, you still believe that, maybe, if you solve enough crimes that you will get to have this lost person back." Beckett went on as Castle closed his eyes.

"You don't let anyone in because you're scared of losing them. Even though I've known you for only 3 hours, I can say that you are brilliantly smart. You have a mind that some people would kill to have. But once you finish a murder, you push it away, somewhere locked up were it can't hurt you. But one day that chest box full of dead is going to open up and swallow you whole. But I think you already know that."

Beckett stopped; she saw the pain flowing into Castle. The Detective pinched the bridge of nose like he had earlier. He breathed a few times, and then looked up.

"I had just finished college, no less than 2 months before. It was my birthday; I can still feel the warm July air on my skin. My older brother Randy said he wanted to take me out for a drink. He said it was for now having a free life. The bar was only a few blocks from our house. I told him I would pay, but he insisted that he should. Randy always had to be macho like that." Castle closed his eyes again and steadied his breathing.

"He ran home because he had forgotten his wallet. It would have only taken him 10 minutes or so. But after a half hour had gone by, I was getting worried. He wasn't answering his phone, so I decided to go and find him. Even though it was dark, I can remember that I knew it was Randy right away. He was lying face down on the ground; blood was all over his blue shirt. He had been stabbed, 3 times."

Beckett didn't know what she was doing until her hand was placed on Castle's. He looked up suddenly, like fire had run through his body when she touched him.

"It wasn't your fault." Beckett whispered.

"Yes it was, and it will always be, I don't deserve half of the things I have. I let my brother get killed."

Castle had opened up to a perfect stranger. He never told anyone what happened to him. What had this girl done to him?