Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.

"Don't make me drag you," Garcia threatened, pointing at Prentiss with a pink-feathered pen.

JJ rolled her eyes at Prentiss, who was still trying to argue. JJ had long since learned that resisting Penelope Garcia was a waste of time and possibly life-threatening.

"But I already have a swimsuit," whined Prentiss.

"Too bad, you're both coming with me anyway. Now, up you get!" Garcia commanded. Prentiss sighed and wisely trailed Garcia and JJ out of the bullpen.

JJ was going to host a pool party for the BAU team the following afternoon in celebration of summer and her new pool. Unfortunately, Garcia had jumped at the opportunity to drag both women to the mall with her to 'dress them up pretty' and purchase new swimsuits. All of them already had swimsuits, of course, but there was no stopping the insane force that was Garcia.

At the mall, Prentiss decided she would be lucky to escape with her life. Garcia was whirling around the swimsuit section, collecting appallingly vivid and frilly swimsuits for her 'dolls' to try on. JJ sat outside the dressing rooms, calmly paging through a magazine. Prentiss stood awkwardly, holding their overflowing shopping basket. She found herself glaring at JJ, wondering how the woman could be so calm during a time like this. For heaven's sake, Garcia planned to dress them up and expect them to wear these… things at a pool party in front of the rest of the team! Prentiss felt extremely alarmed at the very thought.

"Here you go," Garcia said, dumping another armload of swimsuits into the shopping basket. "Oh! This one is nice, too… and this one… and this one… and ooooh! Look at the sparkles on this one!"

Yes, Prentiss figured, this must be hell.

JJ was slightly amused. "Garcia, you've picked up practically all of them," she said.

"Yes, well, we need a good selection, don't we? Ooh, the color of this one is spec-tac-u-lar!"

Prentiss shuddered.

Ten minutes later, Garcia herded JJ and Prentiss into two dressing rooms. She locked the doors and began to sort through the basket, separating the swimsuits into piles for JJ, Prentiss, and herself.

Alone in her dressing room, Prentiss suddenly felt as though she was in jail. She was about to crawl under the door to escape when a swimsuit flew over the door and draped itself over her head. She gingerly lifted it out of her hair and stared at it with disgust. It was shiny, indigo, and had stripes of silver glitter woven through it. Oh, god…

JJ sat on the bench in her dressing room, patiently reading her magazine. She knew that the best way to handle Garcia was to play along and look relatively happy about it. A light pink swimsuit was thrown over the door. Its hanger clanged against the mirror. JJ sighed and began to try it on.

The hideousness stunned Prentiss. She stood in the same position for a good minute, repulsed yet fascinated by the glittery swimsuit.

From outside the dressing rooms, Garcia clapped and giggled. "You both have to show me what they look like now! Come on out, my pretties!"

Prentiss jumped, startled. A terrible sense of doom filled her as she heard JJ go out to meet Garcia, wearing God-knows-what. A sudden image flew into Prentiss' mind of Garcia looming over her with glittery swimsuits, cackling evilly and blinding Prentiss with sparkles.

"Emily?" called Garcia. "Get out here!"

"Hold on, hold on! I'm not ready yet!" Prentiss changed into her swimsuit as fast as humanly possible, trying not to look at the glitter. When she finally had the damn thing on, she unlocked the door very slowly and quietly, and tentatively opened the door.

Garcia was in the process of choosing another swimsuit for JJ to try on and had not yet noticed her. Could Prentiss escape? The way to the door was clear. But then she remembered what she was wearing. She just couldn't go anywhere wearing this! But then, if she didn't look down at the glittery abomination, she might just be able to get into the women's clothes section…

"There you are!" Garcia pounced. "No, indigo is not your color. You need more sparkles… more frills… maybe some sequins…" She rummaged around in the Prentiss pile and emerged with four or five more swimsuits. Shoving them into Prentiss' hands, Garcia pushed her back into her dressing room and locked the door.

Meanwhile, in the stall next door, JJ tried on another swimsuit. After a few more swimsuits, this would become an automatic action and she would be able to let her mind wander. But this olive color didn't suit her at all! It was rather disgusting, really. She sighed and returned to Garcia for her appraisal.

"Ooh! That one looks really good, JJ. Let's set that one aside, shall we? The next one should have a little more sparkle," Garcia decided.

"Sparkle is your answer to everything, isn't it?" JJ smiled. She lost her grin when she saw the selected swimsuits. "Great," she said, trying to sound at least a little bit excited. She returned to her dressing room, locked the door, and tried on swimsuits on autopilot. Think of Henry, think of Henry…

Prentiss shuddered and resigned herself to an evening in her dressing room/jail cell. She halfheartedly chose the least sparkly swimsuit to try on first. The rest she flung over the high wall into JJ's cell. Grinning at her little rebellion, Prentiss happily slipped into the awful swimsuit.

Garcia waited in a corner of the dressing room, outside of the stalls and far from the exit. This last bit was probably a bad idea, since she had noticed Prentiss eyeing up the escape route.

Garcia had long since chosen her own swimsuit. It was a vividly flowered two-piece from the mix-and-match rack. Those two pieces were definitely not meant for each other, and no designer had ever envisioned them together, but Penelope Garcia had a soft spot for unlikely matches.

The two piles Garcia had separated for JJ and Prentiss were still huge, and Garcia was planning to remain here, torturing them with sparkly creations, until the store closed in three and a half hours. She had set aside the two swimsuits that she knew JJ and Prentiss would choose in the end. They were devoid of sparkles, glitter, and brilliant colors. Garcia had them well-hidden under her own intended purchase.

For the next three and a half hours, Garcia could just sit back and agonize her friends with sparkles. Friday nights are fun.