A/N: Thank you everyone for all the beautiful reviews, even when I had disappeared for a time. I truly appreciate it. Writing is still my passion and my heart, so I hope to pick up on these projects once more.

Chapter 12 - Threshold

"At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them."

-Shonda Rimes

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An unnerving silence followed the brief exchange between Jack and Mr. Merridew. A greeting of colleagues instead of a father with his son. It wasn't long before the older man's gaze slipped over Ralph. The tension entered his chest and Ralph suddenly had the urge to straighten out any wrinkles in his clothes, brushing the invisible crumbs of his half-eaten scone. Even though there clearly wasn't a mess, the way that Mr. Merridew regarded him made it feel as if he were thoroughly inadequate in his presence.

"And who are you?" his voice was low and straightforward. He clearly didn't waste his words on pleasantries.

"Ralph, sir… Medevane."

Mr. Merridew's expression tightened briefly. "Elizabeth's son?"

He spoke in a clipped manner. Ralph froze for a moment, his throat tightening in the slightest at the response. When he spoke, he could feel a small shaking quality beneath his words. "You knew my mother?"

"I did. For a time. I went to her funeral," he muttered, spoken as if it were a distasteful affair. "She deserved better."

Hearing that, Ralph could only guess at what he was eluding to. His fingers tightened briefly in his lap, nails biting into his palms. But, it also brought back that memory of the strange, tall man that had arrived late, in his slick jacket and smart, brimmed hat. Ralph remembered his words on that rainy day as he stood in the mud while his mother's body was being lowered into the slippery ground.

What a fucking waste.

Jack's eyes wandered between the two of them, ever vigilant in his observation. His mouth was tight, betraying no reaction to whatever was being transferred between Ralph and his father.

"She was a lovely woman. A bit wild for her station; nothing that couldn't be remedied by a firm hand, a well-matched husband." His eyes were fixed on Ralph for a moment, his gaze measuring features, little quirks about his face.

"You take after her. I should have guessed that you were hers." The smallest hint of something touched Mr. Merridew, recalling a ghost exactly how he chose to see her. Something not quite so severe touched his gaze, but it was lost just as quickly as it had appeared. Ralph had a feeling that if his mother had been this man's instead of his father's, that her fire might've been doused. Perhaps not right away, but slowly over many years. A slow death of her spirit. He wondered if that's what happened to Mrs. Merridew.

Mr. Merridew's eyes regained the likeness of stone when he seemed to remember that Jack was in the room and shot him a look. "I was unaware that Jack had any friends. So, I'm assuming it was the very unfortunate aeroplane accident that introduced the two of you. Quite tragic."

The way he spoke of their being stranded on the island, it sounded as if he were commenting on the dreary weather. The fantastic lack of concern was noted, but Ralph was used to that from his own father. Anything regarding their time on the island in the eyes of the adults was only referred to as an accident, and nothing more. Nothing 'unfortunate' was ever discussed in length so as to lessen the discomfort that abounded from such subjects. Ralph also wasn't entirely shocked to learn that Mr. Merridew would have known that Ralph, himself, was one of the survivors.

"I… now attend the same school as Jack," Ralph responded politely, offering up a better explanation for why he was here, and their current association with each other.

"Very good. A sensible choice." Mr. Merridew regarded the two a bit longer before giving a barely perceivable nod, reminiscent of vague dismissal. "I have business to attend. It was a pleasure to meet you, Ralph."

Ralph knew that Mr. Merridew had only voiced his appreciation for something else, a glimpse of a ghost that had likely long stopped visiting his subconscious. But he nodded politely all the same, a touch of a frown over his features as the man left.

Jack's lips remained bloodless with how tightly they remained pressed together, his expression a visage of ice. And he only thawed minutes after the man had taken his leave. He pushed back his half-finished plate of food. His eyes remained on the table, the subtle tapping of his fingers against the wood.

There were no words in Ralph's throat, so he gulped down his tea instead, suddenly wanting to be away from the stark white walls that surrounded them, the perfection in the immaculate decorations, and the chilling way that he began to realize how much the Merridew manor reflected a prison. A pristine prison.

Ralph cleared his throat in the oppressive silence that followed after he'd finished his tea, now starting to become lukewarm the longer they sat.

"You said that you could give me a ride?"

His voice sounded a little odd, strained and quiet. Jack nodded, crumpling his napkin before tossing it on the dining table. Wordlessly, he invited Ralph to follow him with the slight tilt of his head, standing up and not even bothering to push his chair back into its rightful place.

Sucks to house rules. And sucks to being polite.

Ralph followed him, but dutifully pushed in their chairs for the both of them, thinking more about the elderly cook who had prepared the scones and tea for them.

He followed Jack down a few stairs and turned a couple corridors until they reached what he assumed to be the garage, although it looked more like a car shop with the amount of vehicles staged inside.

After Jack flicked on the lights and opened the garage door for more natural light, Ralph could more clearly see the extent of Mr. Merridew's collection. His mouth was slightly agape, astonished at the clear display of wealth. The average family in the whole of Great Britain during this time could hardly afford a full-sized vehicle, let alone several of them. He walked a bit further inside, wandering a bit between some of them, noting the sleek models and the bright colors.

"This is… This is incredible," he whispered, his fingertips daring to graze along the detail work of a royal blue Ford Anglia. Ralph glanced up at Jack, unable to hide how impressed he was.

Jack shrugged, a strain between his shoulder blades, giving Ralph a glance as if he, indeed, found this all very dull.

"An old man needs his hobbies, I suppose. Although, I would say that this is a minor one of his." Jack's words were edged with a soft bitterness, and Ralph could only guess at the truer words between his enigmatic ones.

"None of these are yours, correct?" Ralph raised a brow at that, unsure what exactly Jack had meant previously when he said that he could give him a ride wherever he pleased. God help him if Jack actually had a bleeding vehicle at seventeen, the great bastard that he already was.

"Actually… my little trinket is over here," Jack responded with all the enthusiasm of the dead as he led him to the other side of the large garage, to something substantially smaller than a full-sized vehicle, covered by canvas. He pulled it back to reveal something that Ralph had yet to see in person. Only the sort of beautiful renderings that he'd seen in photos and heard from others. A beautiful, bright red Triumph motorcycle.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me…" Ralph muttered, giving Jack a dubious side-eyed glance. "Do you normally receive gifts of this magnitude? It's little wonder that you're such an entitled arse, Merridew."

Ralph snorted softly with the last statement. Jack laughed, albeit a hint of that same bitterness mixed with the genuine enough sound of amusement.

"Language, language," Jack tutted, mock chastising him as he moved to lean slightly against the plush leather seat, his long fingers trailing along the edge before he comfortably folded his arms over his chest. "And I wouldn't call it a gift, per say. Perhaps a peace offering or hush money would be a more appropriate term for it."

"For what?" Ralph's question came out more quietly than he had intended, his mind already flooding with the possibilities for why Jack would need to be silenced.

"You ask too many questions." Jack scoffed, although that usual fire that he carried around with him was more subdued than usual in that moment.

"What? You're telling me that the great Jack Merridew was successfully bought off?" Ralph couldn't help the slight jeer, hiding the heightened curiosity that Jack's refusal to answer him had brought.

The corners of Jack's lips curled, an almost vicious display as he reached for his keys on the side workbench nearby, tossing them lightly before catching them with a soft metallic jingle.

"What I'm saying is that not every precocious little blond twat may be privy to my secrets." He leaned forward, the back of his free fingers trailing along Ralph's jaw. "No matter how tempting they are."

Ralph scoffed and pushed back Jack's fingers. "You're unbelievable."

Jack's eyes brightened with amusement at that and he straddled his bike, inserting the key and starting up the ignition, feeling it roar to life between his legs. "So, did you want a ride out of here or not? I could leave you with my father all alone in my big house if you'd prefer."

Ralph gave him a look, but he knew that there was no real debate there. He desperately wanted to be out of this place, as much as he tried to hide it. And Jack was offering him an out.

He must've seen the decision already lining his face, because Jack pated the seat behind him and was already reaching for one of the helmets lining the shelves nearby. Ralph took the moment to straddle the seat behind Merridew and took the second helmet when it was offered to him. It took him a few tries to get the straps on properly, never having done anything of the sort before. Jack showed him where to put his feet and once they were all settled, Ralph was decently mortified when Jack immediately started to wrap Ralph's arms around his torso.

When Ralph pulled his arms away, simply by instinct, it earned an exasperated sigh from Jack. "Don't be stupid. It's to save your own useless neck."

Reluctantly acknowledging that Jack was right, Ralph wrapped his arms around him snugly, the warmth of Jack's back crept into his torso as he could feel the slightest tightening and movement of his muscles as he started forward at a slow and steady pace out of the garage and maneuvered onto the main street.

The feeling was incredible, the whip of the wind in his face as they passed, how it swept and grabbed at their clothes. Matched with the satisfying reverberation of the engine against the inside of their thighs, Ralph found that he rather liked how it felt to be riding one of these. It was only when Jack would slow down at a light that he could hear his shouted words. "Where do you want to go?"

Ralph knew that he should direct him back to Sam and Eric's home, since that's where he left his bag of overnight belongings and the two who would probably be the most worried about his whereabouts, he didn't exactly feel like going back. At least for a while. His heart was racing when he responded on impulse, "I don't know. Anywhere."

He could feel Jack's smirk as he raced off down the road once the light turned green.

It took a few moments longer for Ralph to realize that Jack was bringing them into the city, and their speed slowed substantially, abiding to the more strictly held traffic laws. The idea of Jack following any set of rules, no matter how severely implemented was amusing to him.

As they made their way into the heart of the city, Jack found a street-side open space to park and the life faded from the vehicle as he turned the ignition off. Ralph was already freeing the helmet from his head, immediately feeling that his hair was quite the mess, but he didn't care much. Not when Jack's was a pile of unrestrained fire after his was also pulled off. After securing the helmets beneath the back seat, Jack pushed his keys into his coat pocket as he barely waited for Ralph to get situated before they were off down the walkway.

The view of the ocean from the cobblestoned walkway was immediate and Ralph could smell and feel the salt of it sticking to his skin. He remembered this feeling well, only it was a whisper of a memory from the island. Here, it was simply different, but still familiar enough to make his skin crawl. Jack didn't seem to notice at all, but his gaze was trapped briefly over a shop front that was selling sweets.

"Want an ice cream?" Jack asked, no hint of the testy and mocking boy that he'd been for the past several months now at school. Ralph wondered if it was because there was no one around to notice. He blinked.

"Ah… sure," Ralph responded, the end of his reply almost sounding like a question. Jack gave a clipped nod and went into the tiny shop without another word, although Ralph could've sworn that he noticed the smallest hint of red over Jack's cheeks before he'd turned so abruptly.

Ralph decided to wait close to the shop, drawing closer to the stone edge of a railing that overlooked the docking bay leading out to the vast and untamed sea. He leaned forward, feeling more of that dangerously familiar salty, unrestrained air. He took in a few deep breaths, gathering more of it to ward off the uneasiness that it gave him. It came with memories of wild, dripping green, the choking of the smoke embracing him, and the pain in his lungs as he pushed himself to run... run... run.

Moments later, he heard the last half of his name being called out before Jack nearly pummeled into his side with a smirk, jolting Ralph from his vivid recollection, his fingertips pressing hard into the stone edge. "Here, I got you vanilla. It matches how boring and predictable you are," Jack jeered with a wide grin, although he held out the small cone delicately.

Despite the teasing from Jack, Ralph's heart quickened with the gesture and he carefully took the cone from him. "Thank you. No one's ever bought me an ice cream before," he muttered with the odd realization. Ice cream was only steadily becoming popular at this time, so it was considered a true treat. For Ralph, it was an absolute rarity. It wasn't as if he had anyone at home who would take him out for anything so frivolous.

Jack simply looked at him for a moment, an expression that Ralph couldn't quite read, before turning his attention to the sea, taking a bite at the top of his own chocolate flavor. Ralph's elbows perched on the stone edge of the fence as he tried his own, savoring the creamy sweetness.

"You certainly pay me, someone who's terribly boring, an exorbitant amount of attention, by the way," Ralph responded a moment later, a laugh almost touching his voice.

"I like you," Jack muttered matter-of-factly, not skipping a beat, and not sounding at all ashamed for his words. "I've always liked you, you know. It's you that didn't like me."

The almost-laugh died in Ralph with Jack's response, a rare moment of bringing up something from the island, something that was forbidden conversation between most of the survivors.

Ralph paused, his ice cream temporarily forgotten, feeling the cold drips down the side of his fingers. His eyes remained tightly on the sea. "I don't think it's a person's natural instinct to hurt someone that they like."

"You hurt me first," Jack replied, looking straight at Ralph, and noticing that Ralph wasn't looking at him back. "You didn't accept me; you never did. And I beg to differ on your point… I think people hurt the ones they care about all the time. Intentionally or not. I just…" he growled softly, pushing his fingers through his bright red hair as he seemed to be searching for the words. "I just… really want you... A small part of me will always want to be you, a piece of what everyone always finds so admirable. I'll always want that. You're all that's lovely and enviable in this fucked up world. I know I'll never be like that… I want different things, I run after different things. But a part of me will always want to belong. Even if the other part of me doesn't."

Ralph finally brought his eyes over to Jack, searching and listening, even long after he finished his thoughts. The silence stretched and the breeze tickled at their faces. Ralph's heartbeat felt more noticeable as he watched Jack, a foreign and terrifying want gnawing at his insides. He could no longer feel the cold dripping over his fingers, but Jack seemed to notice, for he reached for Ralph's wrist, tugging until his hand was close to his mouth. Ralph saw and felt the warmth of Jack's tongue as it spread delicately over the ice cream drips, his eyes never moving from Ralph's gaze. Ralph made no move to take his hand back, his skin becoming flushed, and his heart pounding even more fiercely against his chest.

Jack seemed to notice this time and he stepped a tad bit closer, lowering Ralph's hand as he leaned in. Ralph felt Jack's hot breath against his lips right as he seemed to remember where they were, and the strange and heavy feeling between them fractured for a brief moment.

"Not here. People can see," Ralph hissed, turning his head slightly to avoid the encroaching kiss, just in case Jack decided to attempt to steal one anyway.

Jack chuckled lowly. "Typical," he muttered. "You care too much about what others think."

"And you don't care at all! That's the problem," Ralph shot back, but his voice was still lowered.

"Here, then," Jack responded, abandoning the rest of his ice cream on the railing as he grabbed Ralph's hand and tugged him harshly along the walkway. Ralph decided to abandon the rest of his ice cream as well, the chocolate now melting together with the vanilla on the cobblestone.

Ralph's suspicions were confirmed when Jack pulled him into one of the more narrow alleyways between two crumbling buildings that had notices placed for upcoming renovations. Jack had gently pushed Ralph against one of the brick walls. There was that same hunger present from the night before, haunting the penetrating blue of his eyes, but there was something milder there as well, something that enticed Ralph more than the fire that typically hounded Jack's impulsive actions.

For the first time, Ralph reached up, his fingers crumpling the front of Jack's shirt as he pulled him in. Ralph's nose slid alongside Jack's as he initiated his first kiss with him. Even though Ralph had started it, Jack immediately took control and deepened it. The contact stoked the warmth in his belly, radiating throughout his entire body. Ralph craved more. He couldn't remember ever quite craving something this intensely, something that an acceptable life couldn't quite offer him, no matter how often he pleased everyone, no matter how well he played by their rules. They couldn't set that cravable fire in him if they harbored none themselves.

A halting moan was trapped in Ralph's throat, his body arching ever so slightly into Jack's, half breaking the kiss as the back of his skull pressed back against the harsh brick. He felt Jack's mouth dragging down to his neck in that moment. It was different from the rough touch that he'd felt in the past from Jack. None of his teeth; only his lips and tongue, as if he were mapping out his skin for the first time, truly exploring instead of attacking his skin in a moment of pure opportunity. This time, Ralph was the one who felt like clawing at Jack, as if digging, desperately for something that he wanted, that he needed.

Rasping breaths, and the occasional sound escaping Ralph's throat seemed to reflect this. Jack's free hand slid down Ralph's body before he started working open the buckle of Ralph's belt. He did it so casually, that Ralph didn't realize that he was fiddling with his clothes until he felt Jack's fingers plunge beneath the fabric of his trousers and pants in one smooth motion.

This was the first time anyone had ever touched him intimately like this. Ralph trembled and he felt hot all over, immediately knowing that he wouldn't last long at all like this. Jack's smart remarks and the trademark smirk were absent for once. Ralph could only detect the slight heaviness in Jack's breathing, and the heat radiating from Jack's cheek as he pressed it against Ralph's, concentrating as his fingers wrapped around Ralph, massaging the skin, his fingers starting to stroke him, freeing him temporarily from his trousers. The outside air was brittle and cold, but Jack's slightly calloused fingers were warm.

Ralph wrapped an arm around Jack, holding him close, his nose sliding from Jack's jaw to his neck as he felt the heat building up tightly inside him. The litany of breathy sounds didn't stop, and he could feel a familiar, hot sensation straining between his legs.

"Jack…" when Ralph spoke, his voice sounded raspy, wanting, and rather foreign.

Jack seemed to renew his efforts, quickening his fingers, making the sensation unbearable. Ralph choked on his unexpected orgasm, his fingers clawed and tightened into Jack's back and shoulder as his entire body quivered, the pleasure burning him. He throbbed in Jack's hand and soon felt the wetness sliding against their skin. Jack's fingers slowed, stroking a few more times before he reached in his pocket for a tissue to clean his hand.

Ralph was trembling as the bliss spread more calmly through his body, temporarily drowning out the more horrified and rational part of his mind that was screaming at him, demanding to know why he'd let Jack touch him, why he kissed him, and why he wanted this.

He didn't think that he could properly answer those questions.

Ralph attempted to catch his breath as the want that had overtaken him had settled and the rational part steadily regained control. He could feel the flare of warmth in his face as he fixed his trousers and belt, not daring to meet Jack's eyes quite yet.

Jack seemed to be fidgeting slightly as well, toying a bit with the tissue before tossing it to the ground, repeatedly straightening out his shirt and his coat, the first time that Ralph had ever seen him like that.

Ralph finally worked up the courage to look up at Jack, his eyes searching and questioning, but not finding words that seemed appropriate for the moment. After a long moment, Jack finally looked back at him, and Ralph recognized the odd uncertainty reflected back. They had crossed a line, and it felt like neither of them weren't entirely sure how to proceed after entering forbidden territory.

Ralph released a long breath, running a hand through his hair as he glanced at the alleyway exit into the street, biting at the inside of his cheek and moving the spit around in his mouth for a moment. "I should be getting back…"

Something flashed in Jack's blue gaze and he reached out to grab at Ralph's arm. It wasn't harsh, but it was firm. "Will I see you again?"

Ralph's brow furrowed slightly. "We go to the same school, you dolt. I'm sure you will."

It wasn't exactly the answer Jack seemed to want, because his fingers tightened a little on Ralph's arm. "You kissed me," he whispered, not exactly an accusation, but simply pointing out the obvious. Drawing attention exactly where he wanted it.

Ralph felt his face bath in a sudden heat and he struggled to maintain eye contact. "I know what I did, Jack. You don't need to remind me."

Jack released an exasperated sound, pressing his free arm against the wall next to Ralph's head, drawing in close. "I think you like it. What—is being the golden bloke in everyone's eyes a bit too boring for you? You secretly like breaking the rules, don't you?"

"Don't push me. If you do, you're not going to like what I have to say to you," Ralph warned, an angry edge to his voice. He pulled his arm from Jack's grasp and shoved him somewhat to force him to take a step back. And Jack did take a step back. Something wild touched Jack's gaze, and he seemed to force something inside himself back. From Ralph's memory, he'd seen that expression before, one that preceded Jack's typical violent explosion. Instead of directing it at Ralph, Jack turned instead to an empty, old bucket with traces of coal, a forceful kick sending it down the abandoned alleyway.

Jack turned his back on Ralph, his fingers knotting in his own red hair for a moment as he kept his gaze on the strip of sea. "You're really fucking aggravating sometimes…" he growled quietly.

"Yeah, well get used to it. You never said that you liked me for being some ruddy pushover," Ralph retorted.

Jack actually laughed at that, now pushing his hands into his pockets instead as he glanced at Ralph over his shoulder.

"Nah, you're not. That's what both aggravates me and keeps me running after you, you know." There was a hint of a smile there, and Ralph couldn't help the corner of his mouth twitch slightly back, dark amusement swelling in his chest. He pushed himself from the wall, warming his hands in his pockets as well as he approached Jack.

"Shall we get going, then? I really do need to get my stuff."

"Where to?" Jack started leading the way back to where he'd parked his Triumph as Ralph caught up alongside him.

"Sam and Eric's place. You know where that's at?"

"Maybe. We'll figure it out," Jack did give Ralph a bit of a look, disapproval lining his sharp features.

"Oh, don't give me that look, you idiot," Ralph huffed, elbowing him slightly for it.

Once they reached the bike, Jack paused as they were securing their helmets, giving Ralph a long look, his lips pursed slightly. "I'll see you again. Don't avoid me, even when we're at school. I know how you are."

Ralph shifted a look at Jack with that remark, his expression not as harsh as it might've been. "Won't your friends give you a hard time for it? None of them care for me, obviously. I'm sure it would look strange if you were suddenly seen hanging about with me."

"I'm not like you. I don't give a rat's arse what they think of me." Jack straddled his bike as he waited for Ralph to do the same, resuming the same positions as before.

"Not even Roger?" Ralph challenged, wrapping his arms snugly about Jack's chest, just as he felt his muscles stiffen in response to the question. That was answer enough, and Ralph smirked softly against the back of Jack's neck.

Ralph shifted as his chin settled against Jack's shoulder, lips close to his ear as he murmured. "Not so different, then."

Jack only responded by turning on the ignition before pulling onto the street. The passing of the city was soon behind them, the heart-pounding blur of the excitement and dread of their brief time together before the drudgery of school and expectations would begin once more.

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