I was going to update this story after I drafted up a new Citadel Academy chapter. Then I realized Citadel Academy readers haven't been waiting six months.

Agent 003 was walking through the home he shared with his family, looking for his pen. How in the heck was he supposed to record the answers of the next interview without his pen? He knew it wasn't in the office, and besides that room was currently being occupied by the cast of the Rise of Urunos Trilogy. His pen wasn't in the bedroom, the kitchen, the bedroom, the bathroom, the bedroom, the living room, the bedroom—

"Did you check the bedroom?" 1136 asked him as he came back in from checking the front yard.

"Yes!" 003 said angrily.

1136 took offense at the outburst. "Hey, just trying to help, Jerk. What's got you so worked up?"

"Four. Weeks," 003 explained through clenched teeth.

1136 couldn't help it; he chuckled at 003's predicament. "Well if you want to know what I think—"

003 officially lost it. His problem was agonizing, yes, but he could handle it. When [CENSORED] made a crack about it, 003 let it slide because they were technically the same person. But when his sidekick mocked him about something as deathly serious as this?

1136 screamed as 003 grabbed him and pinned him against the wall.

"Don't even go there man!" 003 shouted at the boy. "I've seen ultimate euphoria and the lowest pits of hell! You do not joke about—"

"Ahem."

003 cooled off instantaneously at the sound of the feminine voice. Both he and the still-pinned-against-a-wall 1136 turned their heads to see Agent 002 standing behind them, twirling a pen between her fingers. 003 stared at his wife in disbelief.

"How did you—"

"I found it in the bedroom," she explained with a half-suppressed laugh.

"Told ya," 1136 muttered. "Now can you please put me down?"

003 uncerimoniously dropped 1136 to the floor and accepted the pen form 002. "I…uh…thanks?"

002 nodded and gave him an affectionate peck on the cheek. "Alright, now get in there and finish the interviews, so they can GET OUT OF OUR HOUSE!"

003 cringed. "Got it," he said quickly, and turned to head for the room where the characters where still being held.

That was when the roof groaned, and two demigods fell through the ceiling accompanied by a segment of the ventilation shaft.

"I told you one at a time was all they could handle," Jacob groaned.

"Then you should have let me go first," Alex told him with a glare. Then they both looked up, and realized they'd landed right smack dab in front of 003.

003 shook his head. "Un-be-lievable," he said, as if he were scolding two children. "Trying to escape through the vents? And just look what you did to the roof? Who do you think has to clean this up?"

"Yeah!" 1136 agreed, before something dawned on him. "Wait a second—"

"Ah, the power of transitions," 003 said with a smile as 1136 collapsed from the laborious task of fixing the ceiling. He turned to Jacob and Alex, who were still wondering how time had passed in the blink of an eye. "Alright you two, let's get this thing wrapped up, pronto!"

And so they found themselves in the interview room, 003 sitting behind his desk, Jacob and Alex each in their own chair, and the customary awkward silence that opened all of these things.

And then 003 dug out the mail bag, which was easily twice the size of the drawer it was stored in. He sifted through its contents, humming to himself as he tossed out any items that didn't make sense. He briefly found Allstar-chicken-suit buried amongst the various letters, bills, and junk ads, changed her name to Gravity. What Gravity, and sent her on her way back to the correct side of the fourth wall.

"Um…" Jacob started to ask.

"Found one!" 003 exclaimed, holding up a letter. "You two ready to be interviewed?"

"We can say no?" Alex asked.

"Nope!" 003 laughed. He paused, noting how far apart Alex and Jacob's chairs were. "You know you guys don't have to sit that far apart, right?"

In sync, they exchanged a look, then turned their attention to the gap between their chairs. When the pair didn't immediately do anything about it. 003 pushed his hands together, and the two chairs scooted closer together. Much closer.

"Alright, that's better," 003 said. "Alright, first question…When do you feel most at home? Alex, you first."

Seeing as trying to resist this utter nonsense would be ultimately fruitless, Alex decided to go along with it. She leaned back in her chair, briefly thinking.

"That would be sneaking around the shadows at night. Most days when I'm doing that, it's scouting enemy territory, digging up any information and early warning we can get. But, it brings back memories, back before this war when I could melt in the shadows, lurk around camp and cause all kinds of trouble. I…I miss those days."

Jacob smiled faintly, remembering how many times they'd gotten knee deep in Minotaur shit because of Alex…and how much fun every one of those times were.

"What about you, Jacob?" 003 asked.

"Huh…" he muttered. "It would have to be down by the beach at Camp Half-Blood. I haven't been there in so long but, just being out there watching the waves and enjoying the sun…it makes everything feel alright."

"So you just like to hang around there by yourself?" 003 asked.

"I do know a few spots on that beach that are pretty good for getting some time to yourself," Jacob said. He stole the briefest glance at Alex. "But it's even better when I'm there with friends."

And Alex then had to do her best to hide the light blush that came to her face. Oh yeah, she remembered that one visit to the beach back when the war was still in its infancy. She remembered it in vividly.

003 rolled his eyes, sarcastically thanking [CENSORED] for writing that in. Now the fans would want an explanation. And explanation that would require fluff.

He distracted himself from that horrible thought with the next question. "Okay! If there was never a prophecy, which one of you two would be more likely to end the world?"

"Alex."

"Jacob."

The pair looked at each other in momentary confusion, and then the annoying stereo argument begin.

"Me?"

"Yes you!"

"Stop that!"

003 groaned, and hit his head on the desk. What had he just unleashed? Thankfully though, they soon managed to stop speaking in sync, and the annoying echo was gone.

"Coming from the guy who sank a national landmark," Alex said.

"One!" Jacob reminded her. "One. You on the other hand, seem to have full intention of blowing something up every single time you've gone on a quest. Every time. Invariably."

"Oh I see how it is," Alex retorted. "A gas station gets struck by lightning and suddenly I get no slack. Most of the things I blow up belong to the bad guys, I'm not doing that much harm."

"You shorted out Seattle's power grid," he brought up.

"You wrecked on of the camp's last vans," she shot back.

"Enough!" 003 screamed. They, thankfully, stopped. "Okay…sorry about that…next question…"

"Describe you ideal guy/girl," 003 said, and both of them very quickly got an embarrassed look on their face.

"Uh…" Alex stammered.

"Well…" Jacob began.

003 groaned. "Truth spell."

"He'd have to decent fighter, I don't want to end up having to rescue someone every time a lost Telkhine comes whining," Alex said.

"Kind, beautiful, intelligent," Jacob began describing.

"I may not be into arrogance, but is a little self-confidence too much to ask?" Alex added.

"Witty, not afraid to take charge, good cook," Jacob continued.

"I guess a year or two in either direction isn't that important," Alex went on. "I mean, it's just a num— good cook?"

Jacob stopped, remembering Alex was right next to him. "Well, yeah, it'd be nice."

"Then I hope you consider micro-wave fish sticks good," Alex told him, and in a tone that said he'd better.

"Gotcha," Jacob said solemnly.

The pair continued on for a bit, until again they accidentally ended up echoing each other's words.

"And about…this high," they said, with Jacob holding his hand up to Alex's height, and Alex holding her hand a couple of inches or so higher than Jacob's.

003 opened up the last letter. "Is it ever embarrassing when people try to ship you two together?"

"Embarrassing?" Alex asked. "I wouldn't say that. Annoying, yes. Unprofessional, yes. But not embarrassing."

"Really?" Jacob asked, surprised. "What about that time when Henry—"

"Do not," Alex interrupted him, blushing bright red, "go there. We both agreed that that never happened."

Jacob cleared his throat, remembering now. "Oh! Right…uh…yeah, never been embarrassing. Unless you count going to sleep in one tent, and waking up in a diff—"

"Stop talking about it!" Alex yelled. She was still blushing. "I still can't believe he did that. Or that Roxanne helped."

003 chuckled, and with a satisfied smile stuffed the mail bag back into the too small drawer. "Well, thank you two for your time. Now, I believe it's time to get you back where you belong."

The entire crew was standing together in the office they'd occupied the past day and a half, along with 003 and a much younger man named [CENSORED], who [DESCRIPTION ERASED].

"Alright, now when we send you back, it'll be as if you never left Los Angeles," [CENOSROED] explained. "You'll all arrive the instant before we took you, with no memory of anything that happened while you were here."

"We'll forget everything?" Henry asked.

"That is what I said," [CENSORED] confirmed. "Why?"

Henry turned, grabbed Roxanne by the shoulders, and kissed her hard on the mouth. She stood there, at first in shock, and then enraged. She shoved him away and promptly punched him in the face. She then turned her glare to psychotic minor gods who'd kept them prisoner. "Just send us back already."

[CENSORED] nodded to 003, who snapped his fingers. And just like that, a portal opened up just long enough to suck every last OC into it, and then closed up behind them. With them gone at last, a calm silence entered the room.

"Well that was fun," 003 said after a while, and then someone behind them whistled.

[CENSORED] and 003 both spun around to see 1136 with a crazed look in his eye, holding an enormous Time Bazooka. He let out a maniacal laugh and fired it at the agent/author duo, engulfing them both in a powerful blast.

002 entered the room in a flash, staring at the smoking wreck of a room in horror. "WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?"

1136 held up a hand, signaling for 002 to wait for it.

The smoke slowly started to clear, and where once there had been two people, there was now only one. 003 rubbed his head, trying to alleviate the monster headache as story idea after story idea flooded back into his brain.

002's jaw dropped. She looked to 1136, silently asking if her husband had indeed been restored into one person. 1136 nodded with a smile, patting the Time Bazooka that had fused the fractured individuals.

002 ran up and enveloped the agent in a hug that would have crushed ribs of lesser men. 003 grunted in surprise, but smiled nonetheless as air was squeezed from his lungs.

003: Good to be back.