A/N: This story has been edited to remove any Sexual scenes.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight

Chapter 1

"Divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you."

-Margaret Atwood

I got out of the scalding hot shower, but I wasn't relaxed and I didn't feel any better. My knee's were still wobbling and my hands were still shaking, I feared that if I even thought of eating any food, it would just come back up and I didn't need to add spewing everywhere onto my list of problems.

It was very surreal, but not in a dreamlike way, more like in a

I-need-to-wake-the-fuck-up kinda way. Up until last Friday morning, my life had been perfect. I was a successful realtor, I had a beautiful home, wonderful family, gorgeous and devoted husband...or so I had thought.

Going to my closet, I made sure I had everything packed away in my suitcases before I slipped into the skimpiest piece of black lingerie I owned; one which Edward had never seen me in before. I applied my lipstick, eye shadow. Then I dried my hair and straightened it, I even sprayed on the perfume that I knew he loved.

Then I sat there, with a glass of red wine, wondering how the fuck he could have done this to me.

After only five years of marriage, he'd already strayed.

The evidence was not only sitting in my purse in a big brown folder, but that it was his own sister who had tipped me off about the whole thing.

"Bella, I'm home," Edward called as he came through the door. I could hear the clanking of keys as he set them down on the counter. He was so fucking lucky he didn't call me tonight to tell me he was 'working late again' or I probably would have castrated him just to make sure he wouldn't be with anyone else ever again.

"Bella?" he asked when I didn't reply. I could hear his footsteps going into the living room before he went into the kitchen and spotted me waiting for him.

He looked at me for a moment, his eyes going dark with lust and his mouth hanging open, before it grew into an impossibly bright smile.

"What do we have here?" Edward questioned in a sultry voice, as I stood there, dolled up like one of his whores.

I didn't say anything and he began undoing his tie before he walked slowly over to me.

His hands grabbed my hips before he began his attack on my neck, trailing kisses up to the corner of my mouth and back down again. He inhaled my scent then groaned at what he thought was to come. Oh, was he in for a shock...

I played my part well, tangling my fingers in his hair and letting him grind against me, pretending to moan in delight at his every touch.

"Bella, I love you," he whispered haggardly into my neck as he rid himself of his suit jacket before coming back to me and kissing my deeply. It turned my stomach. "You're so beautiful."

I could tell he was getting really into it now and just as he began to undo the strings on my tiny corset, with his lips still not breaking contact for my neck, I put my plan into action.

"Ahhh... do you like this?" I moaned, my voice oozing sex while he nodded frantically, his breathing coming heavier and licking his bottom lip as I promised myself that I wouldn't cry when I finished this.

"You have no idea," he panted through a smile. But it didn't fill me with want as it always had. Instead it made my skin crawl, knowing he'd touched others but then came back to me every night. I hated him for betraying and hurting me.

He would pay for fucking with me though; I'd make sure of it.

"Tell me how much you want me!" I ordered and his eyes grew impossibly darker as he still fumbled with the knot that I knew he would never get out. I'd made sure to tie it three times, extra tight, so he would never again have the pleasure of seeing me naked.

"I want you so fucking bad."

"Tell me!" I asserted and he bit down on my neck.

"I need you like I need air to breath. I need you like a dying person needs medicine, Bella."

Show time...

I gulped. "Tell me then Edward, was she worth it?"

He was as still as a fucking statue. He knew he'd been caught.

Tears welled in my eyes though I shook them off. I knew it was bad of me to do this, but I just really wanted to watch him suffer after the eight months he had been unfaithful to me; fucking some bitch in swanky hotels.

Then after three days of misery and blaming myself, I realized something; screw Edward, it's all his fault. I didn't fuck my secretary.

"What?" he asked, his voice shaky and his breathing heavy, but not in the lustful way it had previously been like. No, this was sheer terror.

He still hadn't moved his head up from my neck to look me in the eye and I knew he wouldn't until he was one hundred percent positive he had been caught, because, that was obviously how little I meant to him.

"I asked you if she was worth it, y'know the whore or should I say whores because you had more than one of them when you were working late, didn't you, darling?" I questioned in a strong voice, not letting any weakness show or give him any indication of how much he'd hurt me.

I deserved better than him.

Edward slowly moved his head up after a moment and I seen his face was pale white, like he had seen a ghost or something. Or like I had looked when Alice called me at work and told me we needed to speak urgently, only to find out that my beloved husband was having sex with some bitch in the most expensive hotel in town.

I tilted my head to the side and tried to look indifferent. He looked about ready to fall to the floor and weep like a girl. Good...I thought...that's what I wanted.

Rose had told me this was a good way to give him the ultimate 'fuck you' and essentially make him pay and make me feel better, but now...I... I sort of regretted it.

It didn't make me feel better knowing I was supposed to be taking pleasure in watching his life crumble. Because although he'd made choices that had both hurt and humiliated me, this was still Edward.

This was the boy I used to share baths with as a child.

This was the boy I used to make mud pies with when I didn't want to play Barbies with Alice.

This was the boy I hadn't realised I loved until college.

This was the man I married.

And now, this was the man I was going to divorce.

"It was nothing Bella, they were nothing, I don't even know why I did it," he rushed out as his hands shook wildly and he ran a hand through his defiant hair, like he always did when he was troubled or nervous.

I really shouldn't have done things this way. I could have made this painless and easy for both of us. Like ripping off a band-aid.

"No, NO! Bella, please listen, I love you and we can fix this," he cried as I began to walk away, heading to the bedroom to collect my things and go back to Phoenix to live with my Mom and her husband Phil, until I got things sorted out.

When he saw my bags already packed, his hands flew into his hair and more tears streamed his face. "Oh no, no Bella, no, don't leave me. I'll tell you anything you want to know and I will never betray you again. I'm so sorry, don't leave me, Bella?"

He grabbed my arm, preventing me from leaving and I was already inches away from breaking down, so I spun around and hit him straight across the face. It felt really good and I was sorry I hadn't done it earlier.

"Your words mean shit to me now!" I screamed, he shook his head, still trying to fight me on this and recover from the slap I'd given him. How could he think there was still a future for us, after everything he had done? Even though he knew that he would eventually get caught.

"Talk to me," he begged through sobs as his hands shook with even more velocity. "I d-don't want you to g-go. I'll do anything, just talk to me! Ask me something!"

I don't know why I felt pity for him. He'd cheated on me with god knows how many woman for an entire eight months. Eight months that I had tried to be supportive of him because he was getting a big work load lately and, even though I missed him at night, I was so thankful to have such a wonderful and generous husband.

So you could imagine my surprise when I found out that he had indeed been doing something, but it wasn't work related. It was more like 5'9 with strawberry blonde hair.

"Fine, how many were there?" I spat and he fell to the floor, putting his head in-between his legs while I watched his body shake as he cried.

"Two...I-Irina and Tanya."

I knew there had been more than one already, but it still didn't make it hurt any less. It was like a punch in the gut to hear the truth coming from him. I hated him for this and if he thought there was anyway he was getting me to stay, he was sooo fucking wrong.

The moment he kissed them, he lost me.

"Do you love them? One of them or both of them?" I don't know why I asked, maybe just to torture myself some more.

"NO!" Edward shouted, his head flying up so he could look at me "I only ever loved you," he tried to promise me. But all I could think the moment those words left his mouth was, was he serious with this shit?

I blew a fuse, I could feel my face heating up in fury.

"THEN WHY DID YOU FUCKING DO IT?" I screamed at the top of my voice and hit a vase that had been sitting on top of a table in the hall to vent my anger and to make sure I didn't murder him. I wasn't going to do time for Edward or let him get out of telling his family what he had done. "I gave you everything for five years, Edward! Five years! Then Alice finds you and some bitch going into a hotel together and I tell your sister 'oh no, Edward wouldn't do that to me, he loves me,' and I sat at home by myself while you worked nights. What fucking lawyer works nights!" I admit that I had had a small part in this, I had been so naïve and stupid not to see what was right in front of me.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry. Please, please don't leave me, Bella. I need you, I am nothing without you, please don't go!"

Although I would never tell anyone, his hysterical crying on the floor almost made me stay, just because I hated seeing him hurt.

But then I remembered what he did and I knew that I would never look at him the same way again. I would never see him as the man that I fell in love with in college anymore, I would see him as the guy who fucking ruined me and the life we had built together all at the age of twenty four.

"Edward, I loved you so much-"

"Don't you say it, please, don't. I won't make it without you. Let me fix this," he begged as more tears cascaded down from his puffy eyes.

But as I had told him before, his words meant shit to me.

"...but I am done. I want a divorce and for your sake Edward, I hope she was worth it. You have just lost everything."

And so have I...

-O~O~O-

As I lay in the bed of my old room in phoenix, I couldn't stop my mind from running over every detail of today.

Edward and I were finished. There would be no us growing old together, no having kids, no nothing. My future with him was gone.

I remembered the day that all this started...

"Isabella Cullen speaking," I answered when my phone rang and Alice took my ear off. I was clumsy to begin with, so when she scared the shit out of me by screaming into my ear, I dropped the phone. Then I had to scramble under my desk at work to find it, both smacking my head and ripping my tights simultaneously.

"Great..." I murmured to myself as I got off the floor and picked up the phone again, realizing that Alice still hadn't stopped talking. I doubted she even realised I'd let the phone fall.

"Alice...Alice, calm down, okay, speak slowly and tell me what's going on." I told her calmly and she took a breath before telling a wife the one thing that could destroy both her heart and her life.

"Edward's cheating on you. I'm so sorry!" she cried and I think I went into a state of shock.

Edward was cheating on me?

My Edward, the one who worked his ass off for us to live in our expensive house we could have never paid for had he not taken the extra hours this year.

The one who made love to me almost every night and kissed me gently before telling me how much he loved me?

The Edward I had known my entire life and the one who had sworn to love and protect me through sickness and health in front of everyone we knew and loved.

"Alice, I think you've got it wrong. Edward loves me he would never..." I started but she cut me off.

"Bella, I just saw him walk into a hotel with some bitch. I have a photo of them on my cell. He's kissing her...how could he do this?" she screamed and I realised she was going hysterical.

Shouldn't that have been my job if Edward was cheating on me? I still didn't believe that Edward would though; he just wasn't that kind of guy. It was probably the whole pregnancy thing Alice had going on. She could barley remember what the remote was called these days. I liked to refer to what she was going through as 'pregnancy amnesia'. Maybe she was just being all crazy and hormonal because of the baby.

"Al, where are you? I'll come get you and you can show me." I humored her, and hoped she would stop being stupid soon. I didn't like her accusing Edward of something as serious as this. I was only letting it slide because she was pregnant and my best friend. Had she been anyone else, I would have tore her a new one.

"I'm in Port Angele's at the River-View hotel." she told me through sobs and snuffles, before I hung up. I told my boss, Carmen, that there was a family emergency and that I had to leave early. I then drove to Port Angele's to kick Alice's butt for making me miss a day's work.

I knew Edward would never cheat on me and if he did, I would be more pissed he was taking some woman to the River-View hotel; it was so fucking expensive. We never even went to dinner there because of how much it cost and we were well-off people.

But I knew better than to believe Alice. I trusted Edward completely and I knew he would never be unfaithful to me.

It took me fifteen minutes to get to Alice, who was bawling in her car, and jumped out as soon as she saw me to engulf me into a tight hug. My best friend was only 5'1 and for a pixie, she had a lot of strength in her, so I had to wait until she was done saying how sorry she was and that she was going to kill Edward for this, before she released me.

"Show me the picture." I sighed, getting bored with this really fast. She was starting to piss me off.

She flipped open her phone and handed it to me.

I nearly got sick.

She was right, it was Edward in the picture and the woman who had him pressed against the wall of the hotel and who had her tongue down his throat, was definitely not me.

I began to hyperventilate and I was pretty sure I was going to black out.

Alice made me sit with my back pressed against the car as she and I did her birthing breathing thingy. Just trying to find a way to calm me, but the tears came and I had a fucking melt down.

This was not happening... Edward loved me, he would never...would he?

"... Rosalie please hurry, she's freaking out. I should've said it when she was at home..." I registered through my pain as Alice cried down the phone to who I now knew was Rosalie. But I think I blacked out because one minute Alice was on the phone, the next Rose was helping me into her car.

"Bella, look at me, fuck him, okay? He doesn't even deserve you. Alice I'm sorry, but your brother is a fucking prick," Rose shouted as she eyed me in her mirror from the front seat, while Alice rubbed soothing circles on my back.

"We'll be fine," Alice chanted over and over again, trying to ease my suffering as my world blew up in a giant clusterfuck of emotions.

I didn't snap out of it until two hours later in Rose's and her boyfriend, Royce's, house. We were all sitting on the couch, Rose playing with my hair as my head rested on her lap and Alice letting me rest my legs on hers.

"I'm going to hire a private investigator," I blurted and they looked at me like I had a second head. "If Edward's cheating on me and bringing them to fancy hotels then...it has to show up somewhere, right?"

"I'm sure it will, Bella," Rose agreed before adding, "Do you want to stay here, Bella? You don't have to go home to him, you're welcome to stay here for as long as you need."

"No. Thank you, though," I told her, holding back a sob that was threatening to break through. "I'm going to go home and go to bed. When he comes home, I'll ask him where he was and if he lie's, then I'll know for sure."

I gave them hugs and they promised me they would always be here for me and Alice promised me that we would always be sisters, no matter what happens between Edward and I.

When I got home, I put on some sweats and a sweater, then just sat in my dark living room, waiting for Edward to come home and give me some fucking answers.

At 7:35 the phone rang and I knew who it was, but refused to pick up and hear the words that I knew were all just lie's now.

Like I said, I knew who it was, didn't mean I wasn't praying I was wrong.

"Hey, you've reached Edward and Bella, please leave your name and number after the beep and we'll get back to you."...beep... "Bella baby, it's Edward, I'm...um... swamped at work here, it's going to be an overnighter, I'm afraid. I'll see you tomorrow." I noted there was no "I love you" or an "I'm sorry" and that's because he probably didn't and he probably wasn't.

That was it. I knew now at least.

Edward was cheating on me, but with who?

Picking up my phone and unscrunching the paper in my clenched hand, I dialed the number and wiped away my tears angrily.

"Hello, is this J. Jenks ? My name is Isabella...Swan...um, I'm inquiring about your services."

-O~O~O-

"Mrs Swan, I'm afraid I have good news and bad news," Jenks told me as we sat in the corner of a Starbucks, three days after our first conversation. "Your husband has been sending emails for around eight months to an unknown number of women. He's paid for Hotel bills on a regular basis using his company's card and you say his working hours were six am till seven pm. Well his company file says...six am to six pm," he finished before handing me a large brown folder.

"We also have proof...pictures of him and a blonde together. You're actually a lucky woman, Mrs Swan, you'll get a lot out of that one." We shook hands and Jenks left.

His words made me feel sick. I didn't want anything of Edward's. Not his money, not his car, not even my engagement ring. I wanted zilch from him.

I took a breath then and opened the file, effectively ending my marriage.

I decided to look at the photo's first, one of him with his hand on the small of the girls back, though he didn't look as happy as I'd expected him to. Shouldn't a man breaking the rules with a woman, who looked like a supermodel, be over the moon?

The second one was od them walking into a hotel together.

Then it hit me; I knew that slutty bitch.

"You're fucking your secretary," I whispered to myself and closed my eyes, wishing the tears away until I could get to Rosalie's.

Jenks had said an unknown amount of woman though, had that meant there weremore? Shutting the folder and dumping it in my purse, I pushed the thoughts away and drove straight to Rose's, intent on staying there until I figured out what to do next...

-O~O~O-

I hated this room in Phoenix and I think my mom knew that Edward and I were over when I began ripping all the pictures of him off the walls, that were still there since our school days, like some shit 90's teen movie.

Thinking about the past was only making this harder. I hated Edward for doing this to me and it just was not worth the heartbreak of going back to him.

But the worst thing of it all...the reason why I was crying wasn't just because Edward had betrayed me or because I lost my house and my great life.

No, the fucked up thing was that beyond the hate, anger...and pure fucking sadness, was that I would always love Edward Cullen.

There would always be a part of me that would forever be entirely his; that yearned for his touch.

Hey,

As you can tell, this is a new story and will contain a lot of drama.

If this doesn't catch on, I don't think I'll continue, so leave a review if you liked it.

Thanks for reading anyway,

~Casey