Notes: Written for the anon meme on LJ. An alternate take on the events of episode 16.

::Shatter::

Kotetsu is falling.

Failure.

Time slows to a crawl, the pitted brick of the building sliding past by inches, and Kotetsu can't help but wonder why. His face hurts, but not half as much as his pride.

Useless old man.

The beating of his heart is thick and slow in his ears, wind tugging at hair and clothes like he's falling through molasses. Kotetsu blinks up at a sky that seems both too bright and too dark.

Should have retired while you had the chance.

He hears Barnaby's voice, like he's talking through a tin can and a megaphone all at once. The sharp edge of hope twists in his gut and closes his throat, and Kotetsu turns his head towards the voice, slow, slow. He watches a slice of pink ear, pale skin, and a curl of blond hair a story tall drift past. Hope dies as quickly as it comes, and hurts twice as much.

Alone.

He's been falling for moments, falling for hours, nothing but sky and the relentless parade of every mistake he's ever made, flickering behind his eyes like an old movie.

A failure as a hero.

Kotetsu sees the face of every person he couldn't save; hollow sockets staring in silent accusation, the macabre procession a testament to his weakness. Not fast enough, not strong enough. Never enough. Kotetsu meets his wife's empty eyes and knows that even if she forgives him, he can never forgive himself.

A failure as a father.

Every broken promise, every missed chance piled pitifully high, a teetering monument to his failure to reconcile Kotetsu the father with Kotetsu the hero. Kaede is his everything; what makes him get out of bed day after day. His little girl is his light, his life, and if Kotetsu had to name his greatest regret among thousands, his greatest failure, it would be that he never made sure she knew that.

A failure as a partner.

Bunny was counting on him, and Kotetsu couldn't even be the partner he deserved anymore. If he'd trusted Barnaby with the truth of his declining powers instead of letting fear and shame win the day, he might not even be in this mess. It always comes down to trust between them, and Kotetsu hadn't trusted enough.

You're a fool, old man.

Failure.

Trust.

Fear.

With a strange sort of popping pressure, time suddenly catches up with him, the sky spinning and wind shrieking past his ears.

Kotetsu is falling, but there are no arms to catch him.

I'm sorry.

He slams into unyielding ground with the sickening crunch of a thousand breaking bones. Agony blooms hot and white behind his eyes, and then Kotetsu thinks nothing at all.