Disclaimer: For the last time… All recognizable characters, places, spells, etc, etc, etc belong to JK Rowling and all unrecognizable characters, blah blah blah blah blah, belong to me.

Kerstin-vol: I'm only bilingual… I know my native language and English but Japanese is out. I guess I just learned what little knowledge I have on Niponggo from my anime-obsessed-to-the-point-of-insanity friends (gets hit on the back of the head) Ow! I mean, my anime-loving friends…all their fics on anime practically have more Japanese than English in it! And I sometimes watch shows on a channel where it's English-subtitled and the dialogue is in Japanese, so I can catch some of the more-used words and all the insults ^_^ so that I can hurl them at my older brother and he won't understand a thing that I'm saying too! Too bad I forgot most of the names I used to call him though…

And thanks also to everybody else who reviewed…sorry if I didn't put in your names but I'm really lazy so…-_-

Note: Dimantrien was late due to a number of reasons including exams, asthma, a fever, a little annoying brother, a stupid older brother who greedily hogs the computer to himself even though he knows he has to share, though he is probably so inane that he couldn't process that thought in his pea-sized brain no matter how many times it is explained to his near-retarded mind, laziness, Kingdom Hearts, school stuff…

Chapter 21: Payback and Departure

It was finally Friday. Because of the storm outside, Care of Magical Creatures was cancelled for the day. Even better, it was a double period, so there was plenty of time. Plenty of time to plot pranks.

It wasn't going to be dangerous. Sure, she wanted Maxine to suffer in the worst way possible, but that would certainly get her expelled…besides, she couldn't pull violent stunts like the ones she always envisioned in her head, not even to Snape. Sometimes Lily wanted to curse consciences.  They never let you have any fun.

She sat there in the deserted library (even Madame Pince was MIA), going through pages and pages of spellbooks for the right charms that she would use. If she couldn't resort to blood-splattering murder (that would be going too far), then overwhelming humiliation (at least in Maxine's shallow standards) would do.

Someone tapped her on the shoulder. "Ready to go?" James whispered, holding out a hand.

Lily laughed and took it; James pulled her up off her seat. "You don't have to lower your voice. There's no nosy librarian to tell you off for it," she teased. Somehow three hours had flown out the window that fast. She remembered that they had plans to go to Hogsmeade to "stock up" on joke stuff, but even James didn't know about her plans for Maxine. No one was going to know; no one was going to find out who would do it. She was going to make sure of it.

Carefully and casually, she slid the "research" parchments into her paperback copy of Cafedomancy: The Complete Guide to Divination through Coffee Beans by Zyneder Caffnek.

"What's that, Divination assignment? What topic did Trelawney assign you?" James asked curiously.

Lily smiled nonchalantly. "Revenge Reversals."

***** 

"I think I'm going to drop Ancient Runes next year," Celeste announced as she scooped soup into her bowl during lunch.

"I wish I could just drop Transfiguration," Chase said in reply.

"Is it possible to have only one extra subject in fifth year?" Peter asked hopefully.

"No," Lily automatically answered.

"Oh," Peter said disappointedly. "I was hoping I could just quit Divination…"

"Don't worry Pete, as long as you keep 'interpreting' misfortunate and tragic events in your crystal ball, you're going to be all right in Trelawney's class," James reassured.

Remus was feeling a little ill since the full moon was drawing near. Sirius, as usual, couldn't be seen behind the mountainous pile of food on his enormous plate.

Celeste leaned towards Lily and said in a low voice, "Eamon at 1:00." Sure enough, Maxine was walking (if you could call swaying your hips in an overly exaggerated way on five-inch heels walking) toward them with her ever-present band of mindless followers. She had a slight smirk on her face, as if getting ready for a fight that she was sure she would win.

"Why hello, Tarlise," she drawled, resting her right hand, complete with two-inch nails in blood red polish, on the table. She tilted her head slightly, letting all her long blonde hair fan onto her shoulder.

"To what do I owe the honor of this mealtime interruption?" Chase asked sardonically, setting her fork back on top of its napkin and crossing her arms. Lily and Celeste glared at Maxine.

"I just want you to know, Tarlise, that I've found another guy ten times better than your Black," Maxine spat at her.

Chase pushed her plate forward and stared Maxine defiantly in the eye. The people within hearing proximity fell silent, waiting for her reply. "First of all," she said coolly, "I'm willing to bet that that guy, whoever he is, is probably just one of your clients for the week to satisfy his lusty needs." Maxine's eyes narrowed to slits. Chase's eyes widened in mock surprise and she clapped her hand over her mouth. "Oh, what am I saying? You probably paid him more than your body's worth just so he could be seen lip-locking with you in public. If you're even worth something after selling your body a thousand times, that is," she ended in a cold tone. Any person with a right mind would have run away as fast as she could when Chase took on that tone. But no, Maxine was asking for something worse.

"How—dare—you?!" she screeched, her voice reverberating throughout the Hall. Everyone glanced fearfully at the High Table…but they were in luck, because Dumbledore had called all the staff to an emergency faculty meeting. The only supervisors who were there were the Head Boy and Girl and the prefects, who all looked as curious as the onlookers of the fight.

"Is that the best you could do, Eamon? Because the last time we had a little chat, that was exactly what you had said," Chase taunted, her eyes sparkling both with the cynicism she always sported and the hate she felt towards Maxine. It still hurt, though…when she remembered just how far Sirius could go to hurt her then. It was just the potion, she chanted silently. It was Maxine's fault…

Maxine seemed at a loss of words in her anger. Even though she was known to be the sex symbol of Hogwarts, nobody had ever dared to stand up to her in her face.

"Second," Chase continued tonelessly, as if she hadn't registered the spasm of loathing on Maxine's face. "Sirius is not 'my' Black. He's nobody's Black. Everybody owns his or her own person, Eamon, in case you didn't know. You're the only one around here who clings hopelessly to each guy you meet, even long after they dumped you because they found out that you're a conniving, cheating bitch. Sorry to break it to you, but you're the only one with possessive delusions around here."

Again, Maxine was speechless. "Don't mind her, Maxine," one of her friends advised, giving Chase a serious death glare. "Come on, let's get out of here. We don't need to hang around a bunch of losers."

Celeste stood up. "We're the losers?" she hissed venomously at the girl. Maxine's friends shrank back. She took out her wand and…transfigured all of them into rats. The white mammals scampered away in all directions.

"Hey, that was my image," Peter protested in a whisper so only the marauders could hear. Chase cracked a smile.

"MS. SCHOHARIE!!!" a voice from the Entrance Hall shouted. Barely a second later everybody saw McGonagall stalking towards the Gryffindor table, her face as white as chalk.

Celeste paled slightly, but she stood tall in defiance. "Professor, I can explain—"

"Track them down this very second! All of them!!!"

"Yes, professor, but just let me—"

"Now, Ms. Schoharie!"

Celeste scowled. "Yes, ma'am," she said sullenly. All her friends exchanged surprised looks. Celeste never talked to a teacher that way. Ever.

As Celeste stalked out of the Hall, Professor McGonagall relaxed slightly. She clapped her hands. "Nothing to see here, students. Resume your lunch, there will be thirty more minutes left until the next class starts. I must warn you, if any of you attempt to follow Ms. Schoharie's example again, I will make sure that you are punished accordingly. Transfiguration is not just a mindless game. It is…"

"…the most dangerous of all magic arts. That is why you, as students, should never use it for your own comical reasons! If you take this school seriously, then I suggest you start acting like you do," Sirius mouthed as McGonagall herself uttered the words. He practically had all her speeches memorized after the countless times he had transfigured the Slytherins in the halls.

"…to uphold the dignity of this school! And stop imitating what I am saying, Black."

Sirius clamped his mouth shut. "Why, whatever gave you the idea that I was copying you, Professor? Don't flatter yourself, no one would dream—"

"Enough, Black. I suggest you go now before I get the urge to give you another detention."

"Oh, goody! Are you going to send me to the Forbidden Forest next, Professor M?" Sirius asked eagerly.

"No! Fine, if it means so much to you, I will assign you to wash all of Argus Filch's underwear for a whole week!" Professor McGonagall shouted.

There was a round of  "Eeeewwwwww!'s" and "Yuuuuuuuck!!!'s" all around. Sirius turned green.

"Filch?" he said weakly. "Filch, the caretaker's apprentice? No way in hell! Man, he stinks even if he walks through the corridors! Gods, do you think he'd be shameless enough to allow another person to wash his reeking underpants?! You crazy or something?  I'm never going to do that, never!!!"

His friends, on the other hand, were laughing their heads off. "Oh, this'll be good. The great and wonderful Sirius Black finally gets the ultimate punishment: Washer of Reeking Underwear!" Peter squeaked.

"Hey Sirius, I heard Argus Filch changes his undies only once a month! Think you can take the stench?" Lily teased.

"Perfect! A new ingredient to fortify the latest revision of Reeking Repellant! Come on, Sirius, we're counting on you!" James sniggered.

"Shut up, you…toilet punks!" Sirius yelled. (toilet punk c/o Icie ^_^)

Remus stopped laughing. "What's a toilet punk?"

Sirius' face went blank. "Uhhhh, it means…that… you are all sick when it comes to stuff concerned with the toilet?" he guessed.

"Yeah, that is concerned with the toilet," Chase agreed.

"Underwear isn't concerned with the toilet," Peter pointed out, shaking his head.

"Yeah, it's concerned with…peeing!" James agreed.

Lily whacked him on the head. "Duh, peeing is concerned with the toilet! Which means that if peeing is related to the toilet then underwear most definitely is!"

"Oh yeah, I knew that," James answered defensively.

"You should've listened to Chase instead of Pete, James," Remus remarked.

"Then if the toilet is connected to peeing and peeing is concerned with underwear, then that means that underwear is connected to sex organs!" James went on as if he didn't hear Remus' proclamation.

"You are such a pervert, James Potter!" Lily cried, whacking him upside the head again.

"Are you in kindergarten, James? Everyone knows that underwear is used to…er…protect the private organ," Remus said, uncertain if he should have said that.

"And the private organ is related to sex," James said matter-of-factly.

"Gods, is sex all you ever think about?" Chase exclaimed, throwing up her hands.

James looked offended. "Of course not. That's Remus' department—"

"Why is it me again?" Remus complained.

"Because you're l—" Sirius started.

"SHUT UP!!!" all his friends yelled.

"I was going to say 'lecherous'," Sirius finished, annoyed.

"Sirius Black, I forbid you to talk like that in front of all the students in this Hall!" Professor McGonagall barked.

"Yeah, we knew that," Lily blurted out quickly. Other spectators looked at each other quizzically as to why they reacted like that to Sirius' interrupted answer. "It's just that—er…"

"Lecherous is a word that isn't suitable for all the kiddies watching your little scene right now," Chase supplied sardonically. All the "kiddies" who were watching instantly averted their eyes.

"Parental guidance is advisable," Remus piped up.

"Since when did you guys care if I said a word that was unsuitable for people under 18?" Sirius demanded.

"What? Lecherous is a word unsuitable to us?" Lily asked.

"What does lecherous mean?" inquired Peter.

"Lecherous, adjective. It means having or showing excessive or offensive sexual desire," Chase quoted.

"Thank you, walking dictionary," Peter said.

"You're welcome. Just remember one thing: I am not a geek," Chase replied.

"Ms. Tarlise! Please stop using that word!" Professor McGonagall cried, miffed. It seemed like she was shocked at the topics of conversation that her Gryffindors chose to divulge.

"What word? Geek?" Chase asked her, her face innocent.

"No! S—"

"Oh, don't worry, you don't look like a geek," Sirius reassured her. "Geeks wear glasses and talk funny and read a lot of books." A few (male) students who fit that description glared at him.

"Gee, that makes me feel a whole lot better," Chase responded dryly. "What were you saying, Professor?"

"She said SEX," James informed.

"Will you please go to your next class now?!" Professor McGonagall said almost pleadingly.

"Nuh-uh, we've still got twenty more minutes," Sirius disagreed, tapping his watch.

"I once read somewhere that that was a holy word and had to be treated with respect," Peter said. (lol T.H.E. class ^_^)

"Where'd you read that?" James asked, amazed.

"Probably the Catholic Bible," Sirius said with a grin. "Get real, Pete, everybody in this world already forgot that rule. The new trend for like since the last century is that sex means erotic ecstatic pleasure, the process to satisfy lusty needs, and—"

"BLACK! SHUT UP!" Professor McGonagall yelled.

"Mum said that you shouldn't say it that way!" Peter argued, looking like he would burst into tears any second.

"Why don't you listen to your friends, Black?" Professor McGonagall said exasperatedly.

"It's a dirty word, Pete," Sirius told him.

"It's a holy word!" Peter said.

"Dirty."

"Holy."

"Dirty."

"Holy!"

"Holy."

"Dir—oh, just quit it, Sirius!"

"This says a lot. Sirius is more devoted to dirty language than the normal, respected way of talking in modern society." Chase shook her head.

"But it is true! Ask anyone, try to see if a single one of them will say that it's holy—"

"It IS a holy word!" Peter shouted.

"It's a DIRTY word, Peter, and don't you raise your voice at me—" Sirius started to retort.

"HOLY!"

"Dirty."

"HOLY!"

"D—"

There was an audible gasp from across the Hall. "Oh. My. God. I cannot believe that you guys are just sitting there, arguing about undies and sex," Celeste said. She was holding an army of white mice in her arms.

"Sirius started it," all her friends immediately answered.

"What?! Why me?" Sirius demanded.

James replied. "Remember? When we were teasing you about your detention sentence and you called us toilet punks and you said that it was related to underwear and—" 

"You're saying it all over again," Chase pointed out.

"Students! I believe your lunch break is now over, will you please go to your respective classes now?" Professor McGonagall shouted loudly, glaring at the marauders. The noise started up again as people began to shuffle out the door, glancing back at the marauders amusedly.

"Ms. Schoharie, transfigure them all back before they go to their next class," McGonagall instructed her.

"But Professor, we have Potions next, and Professor Ridgewood's going to give us a detention if we're late—"

"It is your responsibility to tolerate the consequences of playing with transfiguration! Do you not know that—"

"Uh, we'll get going now, wouldn't want to be late either…" Sirius said for his friends, and they started to walk away from McGonagall and the unlucky Celeste.

***** 

A week flew by. It was Saturday, and students, up late because of a non-school day, were entering the Great Hall for brunch. Among them, as usual, were the marauders.

Unusually, Lily was the earliest to get there, earlier even than Chase, who usually woke up at the break of dawn.

"What are you doing here so early?" Chase asked her after she plopped down on her seat, apparently surprised at her early-bird antics.

"Nothing. I couldn't sleep after I woke up an hour ago," Lily lied.

"Ookay," Chase said, an underlying tone of suspicion in her voice. "If you say so."

"I say so," Lily declared. "Where's Celeste?"

"Naturally, in the shower. Probably drowning herself, if that."

"Good. Then we wouldn't need to wait ages to take a bath. I really think we should demand McGonagall to add new showers to the girls' dormitory."

"You've been saying that since the start of the year. Why don't you actually get off your butt and do it?" Chase pointed out.

"If I did, do you think she'll jump up with joy and say, 'Oh, Ms. Evans, that's such a marvelous idea!'?" Lily asked sarcastically.

Chase smirked. "Guess not. You should ask Dumbledore, he's not as much of a penny pincher as McGonagall."

"Probably. Do you think he would do me that favor even if I've been a bad girl all year?"

"The odds are…a million to one," Chase responded.

They continued their chat until James, Remus and Peter joined them, followed by Sirius a half hour later, and finally Celeste.

"Did you just spend five hours in the shower?" Chase asked her incredulously.

Celeste scowled at her and flipped her silky brown hair over her shoulder. "Of course not! It takes time to apply my facial cleanser, moisturizing cream, foundation, blush, eye shadow, mascara, lip gloss—"

"Jeez, your face would probably shrivel up from all the chemicals in those makeup of yours," Lily said.

"Wait a year and we'll see who'll have the more flawless skin," Celeste retorted.

"Flawless is a perfect adjective. You're not supposed to add degrees of comparison to it," Chase interjected.

"Oh, shut up, grammar police officer. Won't you ever stop correcting little things like that for the rest of your life?" Celeste snapped at her.

"To you? No," Chase casually replied. "But I will make special exceptions to all the rest of mankind, except the Slytherins, probably…"

"Are you grouping me with those sli—"

Her retort was broken off by a high-pitched scream coming from the entrance of the Hall. Fact was, that area was particularly crowded because a mob had come in and no one had a clue who had done it, except maybe for one…

Lily cracked a smirk but quickly covered it up by taking a sip of her hot chocolate and saying nonchalantly, "Who screamed?"

"Dunno…there're too much people out there." Celeste stood up and peered the throng.

Even the teachers, who were up at the High Table, were curious. Some stood up and made their way to the crowd assembled at the entrance.

They were going the wrong way, because the source of the scream was walking toward the Gryffindor Table already…

"TARLISE!!!" Maxine hissed as she neared their table. The marauders gaped at her. There was something different about her…

Sirius squinted at her. "Er…Eamon? Did you take a haircut or something?"

"No," Maxine said icily, continuing to glare at Chase and looking like she was trying very, very hard not to scream again.

"Did you have a makeover?" Lily asked, cocking her head to the side.

"NO!"

"I know," Chase spoke up. "She had a mastectomy." (I know u all aren't dumb or anything, but 2 those hu don't know… mastectomy- a surgical operation to remove a breast)

The whole Gryffindor Table turned their heads at her direction and stared at Maxine. Sure enough, where her once-XXXL sized boobs were, was…a flat nothing. Smirks and snickers erupted at their table.

"Gee, what happened to your boobs, Eamon?" someone started.

"Ooooh, Eamon, you never told us you had breast cancer," Katie Higgs laughed.

"What're you gonna use on your clients now that you don't have any knockers?" another Gryffindor piped up. Chuckles were starting to grow louder, and other Houses turned at their table.

Maxine's face was beet red—the familiar mixture of anger and humiliation. "Shut up!" she yelled at them. That only caused them to laugh harder.

"Whoa, look at her face…it's practically maroon…" a wide-eyed first year said in awe.

"Take it easy Eamon, next thing you know, bubbles might appear on your face…"

"Don't take that back, I think bubbles really are popping all over her face…"

"Duh, those are pimples."

"Do pimples erupt on your face because of excessive anger?"

"Nah, but Eamon has an…unusual genetic coding, so…"

Maxine looked at them in horror and put her hands over her face. Every inch of space on it was suddenly covered with pimples.

"Now she looks like a zit that grew a face!"

Maxine screamed again and pointed at Chase. "YOU DID THIS! I SWEAR I'LL KILL YOU! NO—IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING WORSE THAN DEATH! YOU SNEAKY, UNWORTHY BI—"

"Calm down, Eamon, or your pimples will grow larger," Celeste taunted. Maxine gave her a (what else?) death glare, slightly less threatening than the one she threw at Chase.

Of course, it was said that the teachers were also included in the hundreds of people watching this scene. As usual, it was McGonagall who was pushing her way through other students to get to them.

"What is happening here?" she asked in a strangely calm voice, though the fire in her eyes and the extreme white of her nostrils betrayed her real emotion.

"Professor, Tarlise disfigured me and you know that that's against the rules…" Maxine said angrily, pointing at her nonexistent bosom and again clutching her once-flawless face. In the past few minutes her silky blonde hair had also gone limp, as if it were a product of her rage.

"I didn't do anything to her, Professor. I just came here to eat brunch and she barges right in and all hell broke loose," Chase protested.

Professor McGonagall gave her an appraising look, as if weighing the chances as to how she could have been responsible for this. "Are you sure, Ms. Tarlise?"

Sirius snorted through his cereal. "Duh, if it had been her, she wouldn't have admitted it anyway too," he pointed out, only to receive a foot tread from James. "Ouch! James, why'd you do that?!"

James just glared at him and glanced back at McGonagall.

"Oh, is that so, Black? Then, respecting all possibilities, Ms. Tarlise might have been the culprit. Is that what you were implying?" Professor McGonagall challenged him.

Now both Lily and Celeste were glaring at him too. "No, Professor, I wasn't implying that, I was just merely pointing out the fact that not everybody would pull something like this and be stupid enough to admit it in front of the entire school—"

"People like you, for example?" was McGonagall's reply.

"Er, I guess so…" Sirius said sheepishly. "But I do know that Chase would never do something like this. She's not that type of person."

McGonagall was still looking suspicious. "Well then. Ms. Eamon, kindly tell me the reason why you accused Ms. Tarlise in the first place without a second doubt and what you have done to her for her to possibly do something as serious as this to you."

Maxine, down to all her new pimples, turned white. None of the marauders had ever ratted on her Love Potion schemes even after it was all over. Perhaps they weren't the tattletale types, but there were other reasons, like in Lily's case…reasons like having the whole student (and staff) body of Hogwarts to witness the confession of her illegal crime. (AN – Yeah, yeah, I know…all crimes are illegal… :p)

"Well, Professor, i-it's like—like this…" Maxine stuttered.

"Yes? I believe I didn't quite get that, Ms. Eamon," Professor McGonagall prompted, giving her the same crucial look she had thrown at Chase.

"It was Tarlise, Professor! A few weeks ago her boyfriend dumped her and went to me and now she's taking some sort of revenge to make my life miserable—"

"Excuse me, but I never dumped Chase, you stupid bitch! And I never crawled over to you, you lying, cheating sneak—" Sirius interrupted in outrage.

"Black, watch your mouth! Let's hear Ms. Tarlise's side, then."

Chase shrugged. "During the Christmas Ball I allowed Sirius to dance with Maxine and she made him drink a Love Potion so that she could have him under her control," she answered bluntly. Lily smirked as McGonagall (and all the other teachers sans Dumbledore) showed an expression of overwhelming shock and anger.

"WHAT?!" McGonagall finally reacted after a few seconds. Then, seemingly noticing her lack of composure, she went on more calmly, "Do you mean that this girl just broke wizard law for a very petty reason?"

"Well, not exactly. She wasn't the one who made it—or maybe she helped, being a Ravenclaw and all, but most definitely she was the one who coaxed whoever made the potion to create it and she was the one who made Sirius drink it."

Professor McGonagall glowered at Maxine at a level far more lethal than the looks she gave Sirius when he was at his worst—for as a fact Sirius never did break the actual law—and slightly trembled with immeasurable rage. She turned around and said, "Ms. Eamon, I would like you to follow me to the Headmaster's office immediately."

Maxine went paler than white, a non-color previously unknown to man. Before she went, though, she gave Chase a look (worse than glower, glare and frown) so evil that it would have made any other person quail in fear. Chase held her ground.

"You will pay for this, Tarlise," she repeated in a low, deadly tone. "I swear it—"

"On every single zit on the surface of your face," Peter finished. His friends all grinned, including Sirius, who, for the first time that school year, looked proud of him.

"Shut up, pipsqueak," Maxine hissed harshly.

"You're the one who needs to shut up, Eamon. Don't deny it, you broke the law. I guess there's nothing that gets worse than this, is there?" Lily interrupted, staring flaming daggers at Maxine and putting a hand on Peter's shoulder protectively.

Maxine was (there was no other phrase for it) speechless with fury. She opened her mouth, but no words appropriate for a scathing retort spilled from her lips.

"What's the matter, Eamon? Ravenclaws are supposed to be smart, aren't they? You wouldn't want to bring shame to your House, would you? Just look at them, all shreds of forced-friendliness and what little respect they show you must be completely erased from their minds. Maybe you should consider transferring to Slytherin. Though, I doubt that even if they're evil at times, they'd accept you," Chase said. "There's no other place for you, and you know it."

"You'll be lucky to be expelled," Celeste snarled. "Else Azkaban might actually repay a little of the bad karma you really deserve."

Maxine finally snapped out of her flabbergasted state. "Don't be stupid, Schoharie, no fool will send a minor to Azkaban—"

"Or won't they?" Celeste retaliated. "I thought you already considered yourself mature, if you've lived a freewheeling fuck-all-you-can kind of life since you were fourteen," she snapped.

"You arrogant little bas—"

"MS. EAMON! DO YOU THINK THIS IS JUST SOME APRIL FOOL JOKE?!!! GET OVER HERE OR I WILL PERSONALLY MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE EXPELLED!!!"

"Oops, your call," Lily said, giving her a triumphant snicker. "Have fun in Azkaban…that is, if your parents haven't killed you by then."

Unable to answer because of McGonagall, Maxine bowed her pimply face down to the ground in defeat. And that was the exact term to describe her situation: loss. The worst and most humiliating kind ever experienced.

"I'd like to see her flirting with a guy behind bars," James said with a smile. "Now that's what I would call entertainment."

"No guy with a right mind—even a left one—would think of visiting that hussy, not even her dad or something," Remus disagreed.

"Heck, maybe even the dementors wouldn't dare come near her in case she thinks they'll be fair game for her sexual needs," Celeste said.

"I thought her parents already disowned her for seeking prostitution as a job goal in life and raising it to a high art," Lily added.

Chase leaned closer to the table, putting her weight on her folded arms. "The question of the hour is, who here was brilliant enough to think of this plan?" she asked, scanning their faces.

"I would have liked to say that it was me, but I'm not a liar, so…count me out," Sirius answered, looking slightly put out by the fact that he was left out of the master planning.

"You? Not a liar? Bite your tongue," James said with a grin. "Ain't me either."

Chase looked at Celeste expectantly. "No way! After getting the first detention in my life for those stupid lackeys of the school prostitute, I'm not going to do it again." Celeste barely heard Sirius' low response of  "Gutless." She gave him a glare. (Glares seemed high on the list of most-used words today…)

"I thought it was you," Lily lied, faking a surprised look that even Chase couldn't see through. "I mean, I know you're not the take-revenge type, but you've been acting a bit differently at some things this year and I assumed that you were responsible for this one too…"

Chase shook her head. "Nah, I'm not as mean as you, Lil, I grant you that," she reassured her. "And that leaves…"

"Nope," both Remus and Peter said in unison.

"I'd love to, but face it: who would believe that I could pull something like this by myself?" Peter pointed out.

"Good point," Sirius remarked. James elbowed him. "What?" Sirius said, annoyed.

"Pete can too do stuff like that if he wanted to," James countered. "Don't get yourself down just because they say you can't do what they say you're not able to do," he told Peter encouragingly.

"Thanks, James," Peter said gratefully. James was one of the very few who believed that he could do something more if he tried. Sirius, on the other hand, was busy covering faked coughs as a reaction to James' comment.

There was silence for a moment.

"Who did it then, if none of us did?" Celeste finally spoke up.

"One of you did it…" Chase insisted.

"How would you know that?" Peter asked her.

Chase shrugged. "It's a gut feeling. I'll find out a way to know who was the mastermind behind this, but right now I just want to thank whichever one of you who was cool enough to do so."

"Don't worry yourself, Chase, all of your friends are beyond cool," Sirius proclaimed, throwing an arm over her shoulder.

"I wouldn't say so, Black," she answered with a smirk. "But if it makes you feel a whole lot better, something tells me you weren't the one who pulled this trick."

"Just remember that we're all here for you!" Lily said. "I mean, secret or not…that's what friends are for, right?"

"Yeah," Chase agreed. "It definitely is."

*****  

Months passed, and the exams were finally over. Lily got top marks in their Charms exam, as was James at Transfiguration, Sirius at Astronomy and Divination, Remus at DADA, Chase at Ancient Runes and Celeste at Arithmancy. Peter, unbelievably, was the third-highest scorer in their History of Magic test, which brought him more than several slaps on the back and quite a celebration courtesy of his friends (all of them each had their own grades to celebrate too anyway). Fourth years of other Houses must have given them the could shoulder for a week because they had hogged almost all the subjects' top exam score spots. The Gryffindors, on the other hand, always gave them a whoop or a clap on the back for salute when they passed in the halls.

Chase and Sirius did not work it out, which caused Sirius to become moodier than usual. (Sirius: What?! You said you were going to work it out if I left in two seconds! Dimantrien: Keep your hat on, I'm not finished with my narration. Sirius: I'm not wearing a hat. Dimantrien: I know that! I'm not stupid, like you…anyway, shut up or I won't get you back together for good! -_-;) Sometime in the months between the trash-Maxine-to-humiliating-death event and the rest of the school year, the group figured that Sirius was more of the party-guy type who couldn't hold on to a steady relationship for long, and Chase was a girl who was better off with the complete opposite—something that Sirius was apparently indignant about. He constantly lectured them about things like "opposites attract" and "there's a first in everything." Nonetheless, Chase remained in platonic terms with him all year. Remus and James had a slight suspicion that he was sinking into a less-complex level of depression, but they couldn't be sure (Sirius: Me? Depressed? What kind of lunatic stuff are you conjuring with those so-called writing skills of yours? Dimantrien: It's called the "torturing-Sirius-to-the-point-where-he-begs-and-pleads-to-prove-that-he-isn't-as-conceited-as-we-think-he-is" scheme of prose aptitude. Sirius: You made that up. Dimantrien: …).

Overall, Sirius (much to the surprise of their teachers) didn't break his most-pranks-in-a-single-year record. In fact, he didn't even get half as many detentions as he did last year, and he had little energy for them ever since the you-know-what occurrence. (Sirius: Do I have to be that pathetic?! Dimantrien: Yes, you do :p)

Hundreds of students stood waiting at the Hogsmeade Station. The Hogwarts Express finally came and there was a mad scramble for compartments. The marauders always got the same compartment since the time they formed their group, though, because of the fact that anyone who dared to occupy theirs would get more than the usual dose of ultimate pranks all the way back to London, and well the other students knew it. Even the Slytherins, who liked to put up a challenge, knew when and when not to mess with the group. And that was why James, Sirius, Remus, Lily, Chase, Celeste and Peter took their time in entering the train, waiting for all the others to clear the entrance.

Sirius was still sporting a slightly dejected look, which he acquired months ago, as he ascended the steps up the train.

James gave him a light punch on the shoulder. "Cheer up, Padfoot. There's always next year. There are other girls out there."

"Problem is, all the 'other girls out there' must have dated me at least twice," Sirius despondently replied. The two of them slid into their compartment. Their other friends had gotten held up in the throng of impatient students who were still outside.

"Right. You dated all the fifth and sixth years already?" James scoffed. "Chase is cool, and I admit she's a girl who could stand above many, but you've gotta move on. Besides, do you think she'll like you any better if you sulk around looking like a lost puppy or something? Sorry to disappoint, but it won't win you any points in her favor."

Sirius sighed. "I kn—"

The door slid open and the rest of the troop came in.

"No, that'll never work, the Jelly Legs Jinx and Consolidation Curse won't match if you hit it on one person—" Chase was disagreeing with Lily.

"What'll it look like then?" Lily asked with keen interest.

"Er…I don't exactly know… Would you care to be the test dummy to find out?"

"My curiosity won't let me go that far. Let's test it on someone else, say…" Lily looked around at her friends. "Celes?" she suggested.

"No way in hell!" was Celeste's immediate reply.

Lily made a face at her. "Jeez, why don't you sacrifice a little on our experiments? We need to know how things'll turn out so that we can make better jokes—"

"If you're so serious about making other people look like rubbery iron then why don't you try it on yourself?" Celeste retorted.

"I was the guinea pig the last two times, remember? My hair practically stood on end for two weeks just because Chase was trying a combined jinx on your hair but you deflected it with a mirror and it shot at me because nooooo, Celeste Schoharie will go absolutely insane if a single strand of her precious tresses is even slightly out of place…"

"Shut up, I am not that bad," Celeste protested crossly.

"Yes, you are," James piped up.

"You're just defending her because she's your girlfriend," Celeste shot back.

"You're just being defensive because it's true," James answered with a smirk. Celeste scowled at him, took a seat by the window and fell silent.

"So, who are we going to test it with?" Lily resumed their previous topic of discussion.

"What about Snape? He always drops by for a friendly chat every single time we board this train," Sirius suggested sarcastically.

"Great idea! Why don't you list some more cross-curses and we'll try them all on him and his stupid friends?" Lily asked Chase.

"Yes, Your Royal Highness," Chase quipped, digging around in her trunk for a parchment piece and a quill.

"I do suit the role, don't I?" Lily joked, holding her nose high.

"What role? The Queen of the Geeks?" Chase snickered.

Lily punched her shoulder. "Me? A geek?"

"Oh, okay, I take it back, you're not a geek," Chase said, and Lily's face relaxed. "You're a dork."

"Well, you're a thick-faced creep," Lily said haughtily, rolling her eyes.

"Thanks," Chase said sardonically. Same as they always did, the group bantered to pass the time until the trip was halfway over and the witch with the food cart stopped by.

"Anybody want to play Every Flavor Beans?" Peter offered.

"How can you play a jelly bean?" Chase asked him.

Peter raised an eyebrow at her. "It's the title of the game. Anybody who eats the most decent-flavored beans wins."

"That's it?" Sirius reacted.

"Hey, it's fun," Peter said defensively. "You're supposed to be looking for the risk in it."

"Does decent-flavored beans include vegetables?" James inquired, pulling out a green bean from one of his purchases.

"No," Peter replied.

"Okay, then let's play it."

"Who wants to start?" Peter asked, opening an enormous pack of Every Flavor Beans.

All his friends looked uncertainly at him. "Maybe you should," Celeste said.

"Me? Why me?" Peter squeaked.

"Because you suggested the game," snapped Sirius. He had gotten a lot edgier these days.

"Oh…okay," Peter said, looking intimidated by Sirius' new attitude (though he's always like that to Peter anyway ^_^).

Peter plunged his hand in the mass of colorful beans and pulled out a gray one. He turned slightly pale before popping it in his mouth. And spit it out.

"You okay, Pete?" Chase asked, patting his back as he coughed.

"Ugh…it tasted like fish eye…"

"Then I reckon you wouldn't call that decent-flavored, right?" Lily asked. She was supposed to keep track of their points.

"Obviously," James said with a laugh. "Me next."

And so they resumed the "game." James got cabbage, which didn't count; Sirius got grape; Lily ate a bean that she claimed tasted like "cockroach guts" and offered the other half (she didn't it whole) to a practically green Celeste. Chase got a lemon, Remus got apple, and Celeste got salt.

By the end of fifteen minutes, there were more of them who wanted to puke than eating more beans. So far only Chase had gotten all beans that were edible, even if a few of them were nasty-tasting veggies or had the essence of certain animal internal organs that were seldom used on any person's menu. The others weren't as lucky, as they got flavors such as rock, cardboard, rubber, frog intestine, plastic, oil (cooking oil), and coral (how they knew the taste of coral, don't ask me).

Chase led with 24 points, James following with 17, Remus was third with 13, Celeste with 10, Lily with 8, Sirius with 7 and Peter (I'm so mean) with 2. James conjured a barf bag for him.

"Better luck next time, eh, Pete?" James told him, his voice pitying. His only answer was the sound (don't know the word for it) of vomiting.

Remus immediately supplied Peter with another barf bag.

"Do people get a prize if they win?" Chase asked.

"Nah, I think the fact that you don't feel like puking your guts out is prize enough," Sirius asked. He wasn't too far from the way Peter was feeling either.

"Do you want a barf bag too?" Lily asked him.

"No tha—"

His still-sick voice didn't finish the response when Snape came barging in, followed by his usual lackeys, Avery and Nott, and two others, namely Rookwood and Rosier, the two other (male) fourth years of Slytherin.

For the first time in a while, Sirius' mouth curled into his famous cat-that-ate-the-canary grin. "You sure you can handle us with only five, Snape?" he mocked.

Snape glanced around at them and noticed for the first time Celeste and Chase. Actually, he didn't count on them being with the marauders, and Peter either, since he was usually so weak that he'd just be an extra target for them. Snape had always been used to the four-against-three Gryffindor-Slytherin brawl only.

The door magically shut behind the Slytherins (c/o Sirius) and for once after their confident expressions as they entered, the looks were replaced by panicked faces.

Sirius started the fight with a Conflagration Curse which set Rookwood's robes on fire. Rookwood yelped and Snape quickly extinguished it with a Water Reverser.

Chase was digging in her trunk for something and narrowly missed the hex that Rookwood hurled at Sirius in retaliation.

"Chase, what the hell are you looking for? Get up and fight before they curse you to a million—Ow! You'll pay for that, Rosier!" Lily yelped, charging at the offending Slytherin and yelling a dozen incantations at warp speed. Her fair complexion had turned electric blue.

"Diminutivo!" Celeste cried, hitting Avery with the Shrinking Spell. Avery shrank into a six-inch nothing, hiding under the seats to keep from being stepped on.

"Here it is—" Chase said triumphantly, only to be cut off by a wayward punch in the noggin courtesy of Nott. Sirius immediately chased him off with another curse that turned his feet into giant stalks of broccoli.

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked, pulling her up. He smelled the faint scent of her perfume as she righted herself.

"I think so…" Chase replied distractedly, wincing as she rubbed the bruise on her head. "Where's Snape?"

Sirius was starting to wonder if the punch had somehow affected her way of thinking and was about to ask her if she was okay again when Snape hit him with the Leg-Locker Curse.

"Looking for me?" he asked Chase, smirking as Sirius struggled to retrieve his wand, which he dropped after being cursed.

"Yep, here," Chase said, handing him an expensive-looking necklace with a diamond moon pendant.

"What's this?" Snape asked her quizzically.

"Oh yeah, you wouldn't remember. The fact is that it's yours," explained Chase.

"Excuse me, but I do not wear fancy necklaces or any other girlie accessory that would make me look gay, for that matter," Snape told her angrily, thrusting the pendant at her.

"Will you stop acting stupid? It's yours, you gave it to me when you were temporarily out of your mind, and you should be grateful that I have the decency to give it back," Chase said cynically, throwing it back at him.

"I gave it to you? I did no such thing!" Snape disagreed.

Chase sighed and rolled her eyes. "Fine, fine. Then pawn it, or sell it to a jewelry shop or whatever. Or give it to some other girl. Just stop acting like a total idiot over a necklace already." She kicked Nott's broccoli shin as he ran by.

"Whatever," Snape muttered. "If I gave it to you, then why'd you give it back?" he challenged.

Chase shrugged. "So that I won't feel so guilty when I hex you?" she guessed, smirking as Snape did just that. She deflected it with a Shield Charm and with a puff of smoke, Snape's nose and mouth merged into a pelican beak.

"Good for you, I think I see an improvement in your face already," Chase said with a sardonic smile. She raised her wand and cried, "Expelliarmus Hexus!"

All wands in the room (except hers) shot out of their owners' hands and started to hex them.

Celeste screamed. "Chase, you didn't have to include us in the curse!" she shouted at her before dodging a jet of purple sparks from her wand.

"Oops," Chase said. "Guess I'm not that good at Charms…"

"Shut up and make things right!" James hollered at her as he retrieved his glasses, which had broken in half when a curse hit him between his eyes.

"Hang on, I'm trying to remember the reverser…"

"Chase!" all six of her friends shouted. It was a miracle that none of them looked deformed yet; on the other hand, Snape, Nott, Avery, Rookwood and Rosier looked like sci-fi alien movie rejects.

"Repscindus Nullifium," Chase announced at last, pointing the wand in the direction of her friends. Their wands fell safely into their palms and the curses that were interrupted by the counter-curse flew to the Slytherins, who yelped and tried vainly to scamper out of harm's way.

"That's that, then," Lily said with relief, staring intently at the unfortunate curse targets. "Their own wands are a law against them. Maybe we should just drive them out since they just take up more space in here."

"Good idea," James said with a grin, kicking the flailing, screaming, growing (certain body parts), chattering and babbling (Garrulity Jinx) Slytherins.

He slammed the door shut after Avery, electrocuted pink hair, flapping rabbit ears, duck feet and all, exited the compartment. Celeste, at some point of the brawl, felt a little pity for him and reverted him to his normal hulking size, since he couldn't do much harm to them anyway with his deformations.

"You shouldn't have done that," Celeste spoke up. "Remember? The experimental cross-curse test dummies," she reminded.

"Oh yeah!" Lily said, slapping a hand to her forehead. "All the stupid beans I ate must have made my brain malfunction."

"Who says it hasn't malfunctioned before that?" Sirius asked her teasingly, earning only a smarting ear. "Ow! Jeez, Lil, can't you take a joke?" he complained.

"Unfortunately for you, no," Lily answered simply. Outside the window, they could see parents and younger (or older) siblings clustered around the familiar platform, waiting for the students to come out.

"Wonder what Mr. And Mrs. Snape would say when they find poor Severus all mutilated on the Hogwarts Express floor," Remus said, waving his wand to make his heavy trunk float as he left their compartment. He noticed that other students who were rushing past didn't seem to notice the five boys that badly needed counter-curses at the moment. Most of them just ignored the Slytherins and stepped on them (or dragged their burdensome trunks over them) while some just stared peculiarly at them before carefully passing by. Other Slytherins averted their eyes as they passed and people from the other Houses who saw this smirked.

"Ah, don't worry yourself, Rem. By the time Mr. And Mrs. S find out that their son is missing, we'll be back home already," Lily reassured him. They shoved their way through the crowd and, as if in retaliation, the other students pushed back and they toppled outside in a heap.

"Ouch! Get off me, Lil, you weigh a ton!" Peter whined.

"I will once Sirius gets off my back!" Lily snapped. "Gods, Sirius, did all the food you stuffed into you at school stay in that deadweight body of yours? Get off!"

"This sure is a fine way to make our grand entrance to the world of common people," Sirius said with a grin. Lucky for him, he was the last to come out of the train and was therefore at the least-harmful position as any of them: at the top.

"Grand entrance, my butt, just get the hell off me!" Lily yelled. People behind them were starting to buzz impatiently because of the delay.

"Guys, will you all just stop gibbering, we're blocking the exit—" James started to say.

"Will you all just shut up?! You're all on top of me!" Chase's muffled voice said from the depths of the human pile.

One by one, the gang of seven slowly picked themselves up. Last was Chase, whose once-neat hairstyle was askew, her clothes the most rumpled among all of them.

"Another hour of hair styling wasted," Celeste said sadly, watching Chase yank off the gazillion hairpins that Celeste had stuck into her hair to make the style.

"Aw, don't put yourself down, sis. This is all in the pointless life of a hairdresser," Chase deadpanned as she brushed her hair back to normal. "Takes five hours to make it, and one second to break it."

"More words of wisdom from the knower of all things," Celeste grumbled.

"I don't see why you're so cranky. It's my hair. It wasn't yours that got pulled at and messed up," Chase countered, but suddenly a woman with the same light brown shade as Remus' walked toward them.

"Remus, dear, there you are! How are you feeling? Did you drink your medicine, like I told you?" Mrs. Lupin said as she approached. Remus looked sheepish. "You didn't! Why, we'll see what your father says about this, it's very dangerous, you know! Your health is at stake here, young man, and you go on with your routines willy-nilly without considering how much your physical condition could deplete! How many times…"

"Bye," Remus said miserably, waving his hand at them before following his still-lecturing mum to the barrier.

"You can stay at my house on the last week if you want, Rem!" Sirius shouted after him. The faint "OK!" that the werewolf said in reply was drowned by the conversations all around them.

James sighed. "Poor Rem. I bet his summer will be as dull as the last, except for the part when we meet up at your house, Sirius. You should give him an extension before he dies of boredom there."

"Or maybe die of his mum's endless sermons," Lily added. "Seriously, she's worse even than McGonagall…" They walked on, peering over countless heads for their fetchers (Except Lily, as her parents were Muggles and couldn't enter Platform 9 and ¾.).

"There's my mummy! Bye, guys, see you at the last week of vacation!" Peter exclaimed, pushing his trolley towards his mum.

They went by Mr. and Mrs. Black, who were already joined by Cas. She was telling them a detailed schedule of graduation practices over the first two weeks of summer and the graduation program itself at the 14th of July. As soon as she saw Sirius, her discussion switched to the number of pranks he had pulled and a thorough recount of each and every detention he had served and destructed.

"Man, the only thing I'm thankful for before our traditional meeting is the fact that Cas will be out of my face for two whole weeks," Sirius whispered to them before going to his parents. The others stuck around with him as they waited for their parents.

"Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Black," Chase said courteously, as she had never met them before, at least not formally. Mr. Black gave her a scrutinizing look.

Sirius shifted his position uncomfortably. "Er—mum, dad, meet Chase Tarlise. Chase, my parents."

"It's nice to meet you," Mrs. Black said with a warm smile.

Celeste tugged on Chase's sleeve. "Mr. Schoharie's there. I gotta go." Lily, James and Sirius chorused their "bye's."

The twins hugged each other before going on their separate ways. Mr. Schoharie had come to fetch Celeste, and was accompanied by her half-brother Nick, a soon-to-be first year at Hogwarts the next school year. Celeste seldom mentioned him to her friends, since he was extremely annoying and could beat even her in the role of the spoiled brat in the family. He stuck his tongue out at Celeste in greeting, which she returned only with a withering glare.

Lily, James and Chase were standing near the Blacks when Mr. Tarlise showed up.

"Hey Dad," Chase said, giving him a brief hug. Mr. Black eyed her father with a strange expression. It seemed that they had been old rivals at school and they had never gone around to a truce.

Mr. Black was still staring after them as they disappeared out of the barrier.

"She seemed polite enough, dear," Mrs. Black told her husband. Mr. Black nodded. "I guess so…"

"Hey, my old man's here already. Later guys," James told them, giving Lily a quick peck on the cheek before leaving.

Mr. Black raised his eyebrows. "Weren't you two the ones who used to fight all the time?" he asked her.

Lily turned beet red. "Well—uh—"

Sirius grinned smugly. "Yeah dad, but I think they got bitten by the love bug—"

"Oh look at the time, I better go see my parents now or they'll be worried," Lily interrupted loudly, her voice strangely high-pitched. "See you at the end of summer, Sirius!"

"I thought that your dad was going to come late," Sirius said with narrowed eyes.

"No, there was a change of plans."

Sirius grinned again. "Oh, I see. The plans just changed once my dad pointed out that you—"

"Mr. B, did you know that Chase was Sirius' ex-girlfriend?" Lily said swiftly. "Bye all!" And she ran off, turning around just to see Mr. Black shouting "WHAT?!" to Sirius, who was starting to look pretty pale. Lily smirked. Another two months before they would see each other again…sometimes she just felt that going to school really was better than staying at home.

The End

AN – Don't be mad at me because Chase and Sirius didn't get together! There's actually a continuation but it'll have to be part of another story coz some of my friends are saying that this one's getting too long! I'll speed things up if you review and promise that you'll r/r that one too…^_^; I'm especially sorry to NicolaPadfoot coz I know u really think that they make a cute couple…but I'll make it up in the next story… it's gonna be called Complications so…L8er! Review plz!!!