All she saw was red.

On the walls. On her gloved hands. When she closed her eyes. When she opened them. Lanie Parish could see nothing but red. Blood. Everywhere.

And it was all coming from her best friend.

There was a reason she liked her bodies dead. She had no desire to feel the life flowing out of someone's body into her hands. There was too much uncertainty, too much at risk.

The morgue was easier. She had time. No surprises. Just a still body laid out in front of her that was packed with answers. Their lives were not in her hands. All she had to do was find the answers. It was methodical. That was what she could deal with.

She could nothandle running down a cold hallway, chasing after paramedics. She could not handle rushing her best friend to some unknown OR because she was dying.

Kate Beckett was dying, and all Lanie could see was red, but even that was starting to blur because she could not stop crying, and there was simply nothing about this situation that was acceptable.

All that was left for Lanie to fall back on was what she did exceptionally well: yell. She yelled at Kate, telling her that she better not die. She yelled back at the paramedics because they were yelling at her to stop, leave, and let them do their jobs. But this was her best friend, damn it, and she could not—would not—let her die.

At the thought, though, she broke. The body beneath her hands was still breathing, she could feel a heartbeat, and it was Kate Beckett. Everything was wrong, and she did not know how to handle it anymore.

So she listened, and stopped. She left the life of her best friend in the hands of strangers. And they would fix her.

Or she would kill them.

She felt Rick come up behind her and glanced at him briefly. She was shocked to see the anguish splashed across his face. This was not the Richard Castle that she knew, but as she saw Kate being pushed behind closed doors, this was something that barely registered in her mind.

It was not a feeling anyone should have to know. There was something about having your best friend's blood on your hands and stained on your clothes that was completely indescribable. She wished she could take it all back.

She had cleaned up and changed, unlike Rick. While they both couldn't handle losing her, she could not handle the way Kate's blood burned into her skin. He, on the other hand, couldn't fathom being further from her than necessary.

She studied him from across the room, and was stunned by what she saw. An hour ago, things were completely different. Now, his suit was dirty, stained by both dirt and blood. He was looking down, but she could tell he'd been crying; could see that this was eating away at him. She watched as he tried to wrap his mind around the situation, skipping straight past acceptance, instead whirring with possibilities. He looked up, eyes red and puffy, saw her and failed miserably at smiling. Lanie didn't think she would ever be able to forget the look in his eyes as every emotion he was feeling pierced right through her. Pain. Despair. Heartbreak. Regret. Blame.

The fool would blame himself. Richard Castle did have a bit of a hero complex when it came to Kate Beckett. He was always trying to save someone that didn't want saving, no matter how much she truly needed it.

She walked over to where he was sitting and sat next to him in a hard, blue chair. Resting her head against the wall, she sat back, closed her eyes, and the pair sat in silence.

She didn't know if they weren't talking because they couldn't, or if it was because they didn't know how. Richard Castle and Lanie Parish did not have serious conversations. They had playful banter while trying to forget they were standing over dead bodies. They did not know how to be serious.

Time passed, though she didn't know how much. It could've been slowly or quickly. It didn't really matter. After all, that wasn't what was on their minds. Finally, Lanie felt that the time to break the silence had come.

Eyes still closed, she whispered, "She's my best friend."

Funny. It's the only thing she had been able to say since it happened.

She didn't even know if he had heard her. He remained quiet, unmoving beside her. Eventually, he answered.

"She's mine too."

Her eyes flew open, wide with shock, and she turned her head to look at him. Anyone who had met Rick and Kate knew there was something between them. At first, it was just a game between them, nothing serious. But three years later, the sexual tension she could always feel wafting off of them while together had been joined by this intensity. She was positive that they both felt something.

However, Lanie didn't know how deep these feelings went. And she most certainly did not know that either of the two had admitted it to themselves.

That's why hearing Richard Castle call Kate Beckett his best friend sucked the breath right out of her.

It meant that he loved her. A lot. Writer Boy was a goner. And he knew it too.

"You love her," it was a statement, not a question.

All he could do was swallow hard, nodding twice, slowly.

"Then you need to stop sitting on your ass and do something, Castle. Tell her. Fight for her."

"I can't, Lanie. What would I say? She has the doctor. She's happy. I'm no competition. I tell her, I ruin everything. She will shut down and run, and you know it too. I can't lose what we have."

"If you don't fight, nothing will ever happen. Kate runs from everyone. Not everyone bothers to chase after her. You're running too, Castle. I know she cares about you. She's happier when you're around. Hell, she talk about you more than she does about Josh. He isn't chasing her. You are. She sounds different when she talks about you. Lighter. She needs you. She hasn't been able to admit it. Do not give up. Do not stop running after her."

He looked down and whispered desperately, pleading with her to understand, "Lanie, I'm scared. Terrified. I've been married twice, and have never felt anything like this. The love songs make sense. I don't know what to do."

That earned him a puzzled look, but she continued anyway. "So instead, you sit back and hurt yourself by watching her with another man. By pretending nothing matters as much as it actually does. I always knew you were a fool."

"I take what I can get."

"If that's what you think, you are more than just a fool. And now look. What if you've missed your chance?"

She wanted to hit him. Scream. Three years. He had to be the one. Kate had been broken too many times, and the closest she had come to being repaired was when Castle stepped into their lives. She will never initiate anything. Her fear was much stronger than his, Lanie knew. Castle had to be the one to do something.

Silence falls over them again. She's trying to think of something to say that will convince her to take the risk.

"I told her you know," he said it quietly; as if he hoped she wouldn't hear him.

"Excuse me?"

Rick smiled at that. For a second, he had thought he'd heard the normal Lanie.

"I told her. That I loved her. At the cemetery. I held her in my arms crying and begged her not die. Because I love her."

She could kill him. "And why would you do that?"

Castle could see that she was seething, and the last thing he wanted was Lanie hating him.

"It might've been my last chance, Lanie. I don't even know if she heard me. But I had to tell her at least once."

"Richard Castle, you listen here. That woman is not going to die. And when she wakes up, you will tell her again. The game you two are playing ends now. You will tell her, and she will try and retreat, but you will not let her. You tell her again. You convince her. Chase after her. Assure her you won't leave. And know now, if you do, Ryan and Espo will be the least of your problems."

He started to protest, but she clamped a hand over his mouth. "Shut up. Don't even think about saying no to me. you two are too damn stubborn to act on your feelings, so I'm going to have to do it for you. I am done begging. I am done fixing your problems. Now, you're a writer. Think about what you're going to say to her. I don't want to hear you talk."

Silence arrived again, but a more comfortable one this time. All that was left for them to do now was wait.