A/N: Wow. A double first :') This is my first attempt at a Sherlock fic, and my first attempt at a dialogue-only fic. Do let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock Holmes, or John Watson. They are owned by people who aren't me. Very, very, lucky people.

In which John gets locked out.

"Sherlock? What do you mean I can't come in? What are you doing in there?"

"Nothing."

"Then let me in! I'm not just standing here with the shopping all bloody morning."

"You should have taken your key."

"You said you'd let me in!"

"Oh, yes, I did."

"Well are you going to open this door?"

"Just a question. Do we have any mops?"

"Why would you need a mop?"

"No reason."

"Sherlock, I swear to God, if you don't let me in in a minute I'll…"

"You'll what?"

"Get Mrs Hudson."

"She's not in."

"Then I'll break the door down or something!"

"With milk?"

"I didn't get any milk, there was a bottle left in the fridge."

"Oh. That wasn't milk. That was Zinc Oxide."

"What? I drank that!"

"I wouldn't worry, you should be fine, they put it in sunscreen."

"For God's sake! What exactly are you doing that means I have to shout at you through a door?"

"I'd rather you shouted at me through a door than to my face."

"And that's why you aren't letting me in?"

"I didn't say that."

*silence*

"I've found my key, I'm coming in."

"Don-"

"Sherlock. What the hell have you done to the ceiling?"