Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, the character's mentioned, Coke a Cola, Mac Donald's, Time Warner Cable or anything else you might recognize.

Two hours. Two "wonderful" hours. Madeline Williams was in all other words… outraged. Two hours she wasted at this world meeting hosted in New York, for nothing. Throughout the meeting was strangely quiet. Too quite.

"Hmmm, must be a full moon tonight or something."

The Canadian thought. Greece was wide wake, France wasn't grabbing anyone yet; Belarus was not clinging to Russia. Then, all hell broke loose. South Korea decided to claim Lichtenstein's breasts as his own; of course as you've guessed this did not sit too well with Switzerland. Thus came the threats, thus came the rifle, and thus came the gun fire.

South Korea was not harmed; Germany had pulled the gun from Switzerland before he had a clean shot at the Korean's head. Unfortunately, that did not stop the Swiss man from strangling the Korean. Both Germany and Austria pulled Switzerland off of him. After Switzerland was restrained, the meeting was ended due to lack of progress.

As Madeline collected her things, her fellow North American walked up to her.

"Hey Maddie, can I get a ride back to the hotel."

"Sure Alfred, just let me find Kumafuma."

Alfred gave her a confused look, but decided to go along with his sister.

As they were walking to her car, Madeline spotted Kumajiro sitting on the hood of car.

"Kuma, how did you get up here?"

The polar bear looked at her. "Who are you?" The bear asked.

"I'm Canada" Madeline sighed as identified herself to the bear, yet again.

"Wow Maddie you two have been together for a hundred and forty four years, and you still can't remember each other's names. Maddie what are you going to do when you date someone? Hmm."

"What does me dating anyone have anything to do with forgetting Kumakichi's name?" Madeline said blushing.

"Well for one thing, it won't be very nice to the person you're dating" Kumajiro said, with a skeptic look.

"Oh, you just got sassed, by a polar bear." Alfred said after he finished laughing. Madeline stuck her tongue out at her brother and they all climbed to the car.

"Yeah Kumajiro has a point, plus I really wanna freak the person out. OH, you know what I could do." Alfred's mouth coiled into a sadistic smile.

"What Alfred" Madeline was half afraid to find out what her brother had in store for whomever she brought over for the holidays.

"I'll sit the person down, and I'll pull out my shot gun." Madeline opened her mouth to protest but Alfred stopped her. "And I'll take out the one shot gun shell; place it on the coffee table, and keep continuously cocking the empty shot gun as we're talking. The entire time, all that person is going to do is stare at that one bullet on the coffee table. Alfred said triumphantly looking rather pleased he came up with such a brilliant plan. "That and also break out into a sweat." Kumajiro added from the back.

"Wonderful Alfred, just wonderful." Madeline thought while sinking into the driver's seat.

"MADDIE, STOP THE CAR!" Alfred yelled on the top of his lungs.

Being startled by her brother's outburst and obeying him, Madeline hit the brakes; causing the car to swerve, almost hitting the lamp post.

"My life, my life flashed before my eyes". Kumajiro said from in back, and he looked shaken up.

"Alfred, what the hell is wrong with you, we could have hit the lamp post and we could have died". Madeline scolded her brother furiously.

"But Maddie, I wanted you to stop at MacDonald's."

There was a ten second silence in the car. Madeline turned to Alfred and began to yell at her brother while smacking him.

"YOU WANTED ME *smack* TO STOP FOR FREAKING MACDONALD'S *smack*, YOU ÂNE, *smack* YOU COULD HAVE ASKED NORMALLY *smack*, INSTEAD OF SCARING THE CRAP OUT OF ME *smack* AND ALMOST KILLING *smack* THE THREE OF US! *smack*" Madeline huffed after verbally and physically abusing Alfred.

"Jeez, if you get the violent and loud with me, I honestly feel bad for whoever you end up with." Alfred said.

"Shut up Alfred. Go get what you want and be back in 10 minutes, or I'm leaving you."

Alfred quickly unblocked himself, opened the car door and bolted to the entrance.

"Vous douleur dans le cul." Madeline muttered to herself.

Later back in Alfred's hotel room, Alfred was on the phone with Time Warner, due to the lack of internet cooperation on his laptop. Madeline was sitting in one of the chair speaking with Russia.

"So, he almost killed the three of you?" Ivan said with a shocked expression on his face. While glancing over at Alfred as he said "Speak to an Agent".

"Yeah, I yelled and hit him repeatedly, and all for MacDonald's, you believe that." Alfred again repeated himself, "Speak to an Agent".

"Aww" Ivan said with a sad expression and pick up Kumajiro as he was walking by. "Poor Kumajiro" Ivan wailed as he pretended to sob into his fur. "Speak to an Agent" Alfred was beginning to get annoyed

"Oh shut up Ivan, it's not like you were there and- "SPEAK TO AN AGENT" Alfred interrupted her, yelling loudly into the phone. They both turned to see Alfred taping his foot and looking at the wall angrily.

"Why is he yelling to the phone and who is he speaking to?"

"His computer won't connect to the internet, so he's on the phone with Time Warner, to see if maybe that's the problem."

"Hmm, but who is he yelling at" Ivan asked turning to look back at Madeline.

"Oh you know, the automated machine that directs your call, it asked if he wants to speak to an agent, and he does, but for some reason it doesn't register the words."

"Ah, that explains it."

"Yeah, but it gets really annoying especially when you have to repeat yourself over and over- "SPEAK TO AN AGENT" Alfred interrupted again.

"Alfred, if you interrupt me one more time, I swear."

"But it's not my fault Maddie, it's the stupid machine. It doesn't understand freaking English."

"Leave it to you любовь to make a machine for English speaking people; meanwhile the machine itself does not comprehend the English language. Ivan said with a smirk

Alfred went to grab his coke. "Shut up Ivan, you do no- SPEAK TO AN AGENT" And that's the straw that broke the camel's back. As Alfred yelled into the phone again, his arm's flared; sending his Coke towards Kumajiro. On impact the sugary liquid spilled all over the bear, his snow white fur becoming a brown sugar color.

"Alfred, look at what you have done." Madeline said furiously, while picking up the soaked Kumajiro. Ivan had got up and returned with paper towels to somewhat clean up the bear.

"Aww, I'm sorry Maddie, I'm sorry Kumajiro; I didn't mean it.

"It's ok" Kumajiro said. "It was an acciden- "Hello, is this a live person, oh thank god, listen I got this problem with my internet." Alfred interrupted Kumajiro and explained his predicament.

"Ass" Kumajiro muttered under his breath; causing both Northern Countries to chuckle.

"So now I guess Kumajiro needs a-" Ivan stopped what he was saying when he saw Madeline shake her head frantically and motion him not to finish his sentence.

But of course, Ivan did not get the hint. "All I was going to say was that Kumajiro needed a bath."

"Bath" Kumajiro said in fear, squirmed in Madeline's arms and bolted out the door.

"Are you happy now Ivan, now I have to find him." Madeline said, irritated.

"I'm sorry, would you like help finding him."

"No, I got this, but thanks."

And with that, Madeline walked out of the hotel room to search for her polar bear companion, who was in need of a bath.

Translations:

YOU ÂNE: You Ass

Vous douleur dans le cul: You pain in the ass.

любовь: Love