TO THE READER: So this is a story I've been planning out for a while now, and I'm finally starting it! Yes, it's RussiaXFem!Canada. I couldn't make it regular RusCan due to my slight fear of yaoi ^-^ There will be ONE shonen-ai couple, though. ONE.

This story is also rather slow-paced and full of filler, so if you like something that's straight down to the point... you might not want to read this. It's long. Very long. Sixty chapters including the introduction and conclusion chapters, in fact. So yes, there will be many random, pointless chapters. Don't be fooled by the angsty-sounding title, either. It's not as sad as it sounds.

So anyways, enough of my talking. Here comes an introduction to the story~

I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia.

...

Heavy boots stepped upon the cold pavement that led up to the Braginski household. Ivan Braginski was the youngest male who resided in this large mansion at the age of thirteen, and currently was coming home after playing hockey at the local rink. He opened the large extravagant doors and shuffled inside. No one seemed to be home, but General Winter was probably lurking about like a ghost somewhere in the unnecessarily large estate. His uncle was a scary man, but he still held respect for him.

Ivan walked over to the storage room and threw his belongings inside. He did not, however, remove his large beige trench coat or old white scarf. Ivan rarely took these things off. They were both rather baggy on him, but he was still growing rapidly at this age. The coat was something he just bought keeping in mind of this, it was nice and warm… Ivan liked warmth. His scarf, on the other hand, had been his precious possession for many years now. There was a reason it was made big back then, for the Braginski men were famous for their large size. Obviously, the maker of the scarf was aware of that.

As he was wiggling his big black boots from his feet, Ivan heard someone walking slowly down the wide, carpeted stairs of the main entrance. He turned and saw his elderly uncle wearing the usual ragged clothes and ghostly appearance. His shaggy grey beard was tangled and his eyes were empty. The man was a retired general from the Russian army, and his years of experience showed in his appearance. Nowadays he was in charge of the family vodka company, considering there was no one else to do the job. Ivan wasn't exactly close to him, but he was his legal guardian that he had affectionately nicknamed General Winter due to the aspects of winter that reminded him so much of the man.

"Ivan, I need to discuss something important with you." The hoarse, deep voice of his uncle spoke in Russian tongue. Ivan nodded, shutting the door of the storage room quietly and walking over. Together, they made their way upstairs to where the bedrooms and bathrooms were. Ivan looked around and noticed something strange in the bedrooms of his two sisters. Things were being packed up in large boxes that were stacked up on the walls. When they went further down the hall, Ivan saw that his own room was no different. He looked around confused, and then noticed General Winter sitting down on a chair that remained unpacked. Ivan raised an unsure eyebrow and sat on his bed across from the ragged man. All the blankets and sheets were gone, and there was nothing but a large mattress remaining. He looked into his uncle's dull eyes.

"Katyusha is getting married.'' General Winter stated. Ivan's eyes widened. Katyusha was his older sister who has just turned eighteen a few months ago, but she didn't have a boyfriend. His uncle seemed to see his confusion and continued. "It's an arranged marriage, more or less. She's met the man before and they seemed to get along well. His name is Eduard Von Bock, and he's a very important man working for a computer company in Canada. Therefore, Katyusha is going to become the new legal guardians of yourself and Natalia and take on part of the company while the three of you live in Canada. Vodka sells well there, and it will be good for the business. Meanwhile, I'll stay and take care of things in Russia."

"Canada?" Ivan asked, shocked by this sudden news. Canada was far away! He didn't want to leave Russia for some stupid marriage! …Then again, he didn't want to remain here all by himself. If his sisters were there it wouldn't really make a difference where he was, would it? It wasn't like he had anything else important to miss… or anyone. Still, Ivan was afraid of moving to Canada of all places. It was different. Ivan was a young boy who really didn't like change.

''You know how to speak fluent English, do you not? And you're a smart child, Ivan. You will be able to learn the things necessary to adapt. Although Katyusha will take some time to gain her citizenship, it will be easier for you since you're under eighteen. The same goes for Natalia. Still, she's only your gardian and not your parent, so I'll have to pull a few strings. No trouble, though." His uncle's expression did not change as he explained the situation. Ivan nodded nervously, deciding not to question further due to respect and fear of his uncle… and just the fact he had no power over anyone but himself. It couldn't be that bad, could it? As long as he had his sisters, he would be alright.

...

"Ivan, Natalia…I'd like you to meet Eduard and Toris Von Bock." Ivan's sister had a cheerful smile as she showed him the two men sitting seated in front of them. Currently, he and his two sisters were sitting in yet another large house, this time in a relatively small but busy town in Canada. The town of Heta was known for being quite multicultural and friendly… although there was a well-known dangerous side to it, as well. They were already moved in and working out their citizenship, and Katyusha and Eduard would be getting married in the summer. This would be their new home. Ivan didn't think much of it, nor did his little sister Natalia. All the twelve-year-old girl did was cling to Ivan's arm protectively the whole time they had been looking around, and now she sat beside him with a blank expression and her hands folded on her lap neatly.

Eduard was twenty years old. He was skinny and pretty tall, although Ivan was almost the same height as him and would probably be taller in a couple of years. He was a very intellectual-looking person with a pair of square-shaped glasses and short blond hair that was combed nicely. Toris didn't even look related to him, although they were brothers. He was the same age as Ivan but much smaller. His dark brown hair was long and also well-combed, and he had a gentle, timid look to him. In fact, he looked like a twig ready to be broken. Even though they both seemed fragile, Ivan liked the pair. They were going to be his brothers soon, after all. Although… something seemed to be bothering them as they fidgeted with confusion and slight fear. He gave a friendly smile to lighten the paranoid mood the brothers filled the room with as Natalia started the greeting.

"Hello, my name is Natalia." She said politely. Eduard and Toris seemed to relax at her introduction. Maybe they were just shy people? Ivan went on to introduce himself.

"Da, hello, I'm Ivan." He grinned. All of a sudden, Eduard and Toris looked nervous again. He was confused.

"Er… hello, Ivan. My name is Eduard… welcome to the family." The older man sounded polite but unsure of himself.

''Y-Yes… and I'm T-Toris." The other said stammered nervously. "W-We ARE the same age, right?" he asked for reassurance. Ivan tilted his head. Hadn't Toris already been told his age?

"Toris, that's rude!" Eduard scolded in a harsh whisper. Toris flinched.

"Ah! Sorry! Er… I mean… your tall…" he mumbled nervously, laughing a bit. Ivan chuckled.

"Da, I am. I'm still growing though!" he stated happily. Toris flinched, and this caused Ivan's smile to falter. Was the boy that nervous about his height?

"I… hope we can get along…" Ivan said hopefully. Toris simply looked away and nodded nervously.

...

"Do you think we'll make some friends at school, Natalia?" Ivan asked as he walked beside her. She pulled her backpack further up her shoulders and stared ahead blankly.

"Toris said he would introduce me to some of his friends… and I've already met one who I get along with… but I still don't see why we have to start going to a public school when getting home-schooled our whole lives was going perfectly well." She growled in frustration. Ivan shrugged.

"Katyusha is too busy, now…there's no one to teach us. Besides, if Toris goes to that big school then so should we, da? We get to be like normal children and make friends. It's nice that we won't be separated that much since the school goes from kindergarten to grade twelve, too." He smiled. Natalia just pouted and walked on silently. Ivan continued to smile, though.

He had always wanted to make lots of friends, but his whole life he had only been around his small, concealed family. Today he would finally get the chance to socialize. Much like a little boy about to start his first day of kindergarten, Ivan was excited and nervous at the same time. Would he be able to fit in? Would he know enough English to do well in his classes? Even if Ivan was raised to know both English and Russian fluently, he was much more used to speaking his native tongue to his sisters and uncle. Katyusha had only recently asked his sister and himself to start speaking English as much as possible, just as they had been a few minutes ago. Not to mention there were French classes he had to take, as well! This was going to be difficult, but when Ivan had no other choice he just figured he might as well play along.

The one thing that bothered Ivan the most though… were the people living here in Canada going to like him?

...

School had gone well. The teachers were used to having immigrant students, and even though they seemed to give him the same nervous look that Eduard and Toris had given him, they treated Ivan fairly and helped him adjust. The students didn't seem to have a problem with giving him weird or terrified glances, though. Even Toris, who was in his class, still looked nervous. Still, he was learning the system quickly and understanding what was being taught in class. There was a classroom for each grade, and some lessons like French would have a separate classroom with one teacher who taught several different grades. It wasn't that hard to get used to, although the hardest part had yet to come: trying to make friends.

Lunch was an hour long, and students were allowed to wander around the grounds of the school or eat their food during this time. Once that time came for Ivan, he realised Natalia was already waiting at the door. He walked over and expected her to cling to him as she always did, but instead she remained silent and looked over to Toris who approached immediately after Ivan. Next to him was another boy. He was a taller than Toris, but quite a bit shorter than Ivan (just like everyone else at the school). His build showed he had great strength and was probably quite athletic, and his sandy blond hair was cut short and prim with one cowlick at the top side of his head. Bright, enthusiastic blue eyes were under a pair of glasses, and a toothpaste ad grin was plastered on his face.

"Hey Natalia! You remember me, you know… Alfred F. Jones, immigrant from the US of A!" he boomed loudly. His voice was just as enthusiastic as his facial expressions, and his hands tended to move along with his words quickly. Ivan was just a bit ticked off by this boy.

Just keep smiling, Ivan. Just keep smiling.

"Da, Toris introduced us before. I do not suffer from memory loss. Now, this is my brother Vanya, in English that would be Ivan." Natalia pointed to her older brother. Alfred turned his head to see Ivan. His smile became less friendly and more… amused… perhaps that was the right word. His eyes scanned Ivan from top to bottom as he laughed lightly, raising an eyebrow.

"Huge much? I heard Ruskis were tall but you're a freaken giant! You're kinda fat too!" he laughed loudly. People passing by giggled silently to themselves when they heard Alfred's loud voice. Ivan blushed in a combination of embarrassment and fury. He was not a giant, nor was he fat! He was big-boned! Alfred took one of his cheeks and pinched it, wiggling it around a little. "Heh, it's squishy." He giggled.

Be nice, Ivan. Play nice.

He cleared his throat. "I… agree that I am tall…" he mumbled lowly, struggling with his smile that he had pushed back onto his face. Alfred just continued to laugh that obnoxious laugh of his. It almost sounded forced with such volume.

"And your nose! It's so weird-shaped… and it's like the biggest thing on your face!" Alfred pointed out. Ivan's face became redder. He was aware he had a rather large nose, but why did that matter? Alfred continued, "Your hair is so blond, it looks white like an old man! And dude, it's not the middle of winter, why you dressed in that huge ugly coat and scarf? Lemme guess, you're really hairy or something?"

By now, a crowd had gathered. Some seemed afraid that Ivan would lash out, others were laughing at him. Ivan just kept smiling, not wanting to lose his temper. Alfred glared at him smugly.

"Your smile's creepy, too. You look like a pedophile. Better keep this guy away from the little kids, huh guys?" Alfred looked toward the crowd and they all laughed, some nervously, some loudly. Ivan's smile fell at this point as he stared at the other students he had wanted so badly to make friends with. Now he just wanted to run. Ivan looked over to his sister hopefully, but even she was standing next to Toris and looking away. Ivan was afraid, now. He started walking away, knowing it was the only thing he could do. Suddenly, he realised his scarf had been caught by something… more like someone… and unwrapped from his neck as he walked. Ivan gasped and tried to catch it, but it was too late.

Everyone saw the scars that littered his neck and went silent. Even Alfred's face was surprised and slightly regretful as his hand that held Ivan's precious scarf fell to his side. The Russian boy's hands shot to his neck, tears filling his eyes for just a few moments due to embarrassment. Then, they left him as a new emotion rose up. Fury, anger, frustration. It had many names and burned in his chest strongly. Ivan wanted to kill Alfred.

His arm snapped to grab his precious white scarf and wrap it around his neck where it belonged. He rose his hand to then strike Alfred with all his might, and everyone gasped in fear as they saw the murder in the Russian's eyes. Alfred stared ahead with a blank expression. He obviously wasn't afraid, which angered Ivan even more.

"Vanya, don't." a voice cut in. Ivan's fury disappeared at the familiar voice. It was Natalia, she finally spoke up. Ivan was hoping she would stick up for him…

"He's my friend."

But he supposed not. The words held a cruel truth. Natalia was leaving him for Alfred and Toris. Natalia was growing up and moving on, she didn't need her big brother to cling on to anymore. Natalia didn't even seem to love him with the way she spoke and stared.

She continued, "He's my friend I told you about, and I am helping them with something. If you can't get along then we will not be together at school, Vanya." There was a hint of guilt in her voice as she stated the truth that hurt Ivan so badly. He shook his head slowly. No, this made no sense. Alfred wasn't the type of person Natalia would want to be friends with, he just wasn't! Couldn't she see how awful he was? Didn't she understand? He closed his eyes tight and ran. Natalia put her head down in shame but let him go.

Ivan didn't make any friends that day, just a lot of enemies.

...

School was full of sadness and anger, and when Ivan walked home he did it alone while Natalia went with Toris. He needed someone to talk to, he needed Katyusha. She was his kind, gentle big sister who always knew what to say. The Russian boy knew she would help. He entered the house, but there was an eerie silence inside. He never liked big houses when they were empty… Ivan walked around in search for his sister. His feet clicked on the hard floors and echoed with each step.

Finally, Ivan reached Katyusha's room and looked in. What he saw made him freeze before he could even call her name. His dear, innocent sister was laying on the bed right beneath Eduard as he littered her with kisses on her neck. She giggled and began to undo his shirt… he began to take off hers… they didn't even see him standing there in shock and disgust. Finally, Katyusha looked over to his direction and shrieked.

"V-Vanya! You're not supposed to be in here, get out!" she cried, pulling her shirt up to hide her (very noticeable) cleavage. She yelled at him, and this only shocked him further. Ivan couldn't take much more as he walked away quietly. Katyusha had moved on to loving Eduard, and Ivan was once again left out of the picture.

He came to his room, a room that he was still not exactly used to. It was big with a queen-sized bed just like his old one… with nice furniture and all his old belongings… but just it wasn't what he was used to. Nothing was what he was used to. Ivan needed something familiar, so he went into the hallway and saw the phone. Who could he possibly call? Well, there was only one person left: General Winter.

"Vanya, I don't see why you've become so pathetic that you need to call me. We are not close, now solve this by yourself." A gruff voice answered in Russian tongue before he could barely even explain. A click let him know two things: One, General Winter had hung up. Two, he was alone.

Ivan was very afraid of being alone.

...

Months passed, and when nothing around him would change for the better, Ivan changed for the worse. He and Natalia never talked, especially when he discovered that she was dating Alfred. She barely even looked at him. Ivan's actions on his first day of school were never forgotten by anyone, Alfred made sure of that. The teasing was horrible, and hurt him deep inside, but on the outside no one would ever be able to tell. In fact, the way he smiled coldly and threatened people made it look like he deserved to be teased. Maybe he did. After all, he had taken a good habit to pushing Toris around every chance he got and bad-talking Eduard. They had taken his sisters away from him, and he no longer wanted them to be his brothers. Katyusha knew about it, and she tried to stop him but she was far too busy running her half of the family company. Ivan gave up on her and took it as abandonment; after all she was barely home anymore. Eventually, no one was. The house would be empty and Ivan was left to wonder town until dinner. Sometimes people were home by then, usually they weren't. It didn't matter, though. They hated him in Ivan's mind.

The wedding was uneventful, happening during the summer after that horrible school year. Ivan just did what he was asked to do and watched Katyusha marry that idiot Eduard. He didn't like it, but he didn't stop it, for he still loved his sister and she just looked so happy. He played along for that one day, for his heart told him not to argue.

He was cold to everyone, so no one tried to approach him. Life was nothing but a cold, empty tunnel with no end. Ivan gave up on friendship, gave up on love, and gave up on warmth. He became a childish bully, and allowed himself to act like the monster everyone thought he was.

Wow, so that was… a really long introduction XD But it had to be done. Sorry! I've already mentioned how slow-paced this story is. Maddie will be in the next chapter though, that's a promise.

Also, I know it gets confusing when they speak Russian and English, but I didn't want to put the Russian parts in italics because it looked weird. There won't be much Russian speaking in the rest of the story, anyways.

My spell check is awesome and messed up at the same time, by the way. I would be nothing without it, but it does weird things sometimes! My paragraph separation sucks, too. I never know when to start a new one even though we learn about that in early elementary school XD

Thanks for reading, constructive criticism and advice about the writing is always welcome!