My eyes adored you
Though I never laid a hand on you,
My eyes adored you
Like a million miles away from me you couldn't see
How I adored you:
So close, so close and yet so far

Chapter 1

Beckett waited as Castle opened the door to his loft, her duffle bag slung over one shoulder. Always the gentleman, he allowed her to enter first and closely followed behind before closing the door. She hovered uncertainly, startling slightly when he placed his hands on her shoulders and squeezed them reassuringly, dipping his head to make eye-contact, his warm breath fanning across her face as he spoke.

"Let me take the coat, KB."

Beckett glanced down at the heavy coat he'd leant her on the car ride over. The soft fabric felt as though it would cost more than her monthly rent, and a pang of guilt coursed through her as she saw the traces of ash and blood she'd now left stained on it. With a brief tilt of her head she shrugged her shoulders to help as his hands slid the fabric down her arms, his fingers grasping her lightly.

"Detective Beckett!"

Beckett turned as a blur of red shot across the loft and ploughed into her, and she stumbling slightly backwards from the force, before Castle's large hand pressed against her back and kept her balance steady. She held back her grimace of pain as the redheaded bundle tightened its grip around her waist.

"Hey Lex." The nickname slipped out of its own accord, but Beckett welcomed its sense of familiarity. Her mind was still spinning, unable to properly focus on anything at all.

Alexis pulled away after a few seconds, concerned eyes running over the bruised detective. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, Lex." The disbelieving look on Alexis' face was such a mirror image of her father's Beckett couldn't help but smile. The comforting hand against her back fell away and she mentally berated herself for missing the reassurance the touch provided.

"Kate, sweetheart." Gracious as always, Martha moved from the kitchen to join the small group, pulling Beckett into a gentle hug, the older redhead more mindful of her injuries, before pulling away and running a very critical, motherly eye over her. Uncomfortable with the lingering, concerned looks from two Castle's and Martha, Beckett stepped out of the small circle and grabbed her bag from Bigger Castle's arm.

"Well, my place was blown up and I'm homeless. Again. Castle's letting me crash here until I find somewhere, if that's ok with you guys? I hate to impose-"

Martha 'tsked' in interruption. "Darling, you are more than welcome to stay, you know that."

"Yeah, and it's always more fun ganging up on dad when you're here!" Alexis added, laughing when her dad wrapped an arm around her neck and ruffled her hair.

Taking the bag from Beckett and pushing it into her son's stomach, Martha placed her arm around the detective's shoulder and led her towards the stairs. Beckett shot a wry smile back at Castle. "Feels a lot like déjà vu, huh?"

Rick Castle watched, Alexis pressed against his side, as his mother led Beckett upstairs to one of their guest bedrooms.

He wasn't going to challenge her statement that this was déjà vu. In the end she'd realise it was fate.

Two hours earlier

"Hey! NYPD! Freeze!"

Kate Beckett sprinted after her suspect as he tore off down the empty New York City street. Her demanding voice and threatening gun failed to stop the man and Beckett huffed in annoyance as he rounded a corner and disappeared from her sight. Shoving her gun back into it's holster against her hip, her heels pounding loudly on the wet ground, Beckett continued the chase, a prickling along her neck the only indication she needed to know that Castle was just a few paces behind her.

She rounded another corner at breakneck speed. With the momentum of her body pushing her forward she had no chance to block the metal crowbar as it swung towards her, the air whooshing out of her lungs as it connected with her stomach. The air stolen from her, her legs gave out and she fell to her knees, watching in pain and annoyance as their suspect tossed the crowbar and took off around another corner. Heavy footsteps behind her signalled Castle's arrival and he stopped dead at the sight of her doubled over.

"Beckett?"

Panting, one arm wrapped around her burning stomach, Beckett yanked the walkie talkie from her pants and shoved it up towards Castle. Without needing instruction, he gave Esposito and Ryan their suspect's direction, one eye trained on the detective's hunched over form.

"Beckett, are you ok?" His message to the boys received, Castle pocketed the walkie talkie and crouched down in front of his detective, watching anxiously as she tried to take deep breaths. His hands itched to reach out and touch her face, her shoulders, anywhere.

"Beckett?" His voice held more alarm this time so Beckett took a painful breath and glanced up at him.

"I'm ok."

After a few large gulps of air, the searing in her stomach lessened to a dull throb. Shakily she rose to her feet, silently cursing her pumps for encouraging her wobbly knees to try and buckle.

"Uh...Beckett...you're kinda..." Standing as she did, one hand reaching out to steady her, Castle motioned to her clothes. Glancing down, Beckett bit back her shout of aggravation as she saw her favourite jeans were covered in mud, as were her hands and arms.

"Perfect. Freakin' perfect."

Wiping the mud from her palms onto the ruined denim, Beckett glanced up into the concerned face of her partner.

"C'mon, my place is a few blocks away. I'll change quickly and we'll head back into the precinct."

Nodding, concern clenching in his stomach, Castle followed her back down the street, hovering just a bit closer than he usually would, one hand lightly on the small of her back. She was still a bit shaky and if she fell, he was going to be there to catch her.

"Hey, you're hurt. Does this mean I can drive?"

Beckett let out a small, breathless laugh. "Firstly, I'm not hurt, just out of breath. Secondly, in your dreams, writer boy."

"Firstly, yes you are hurt. Secondly, you're always in my dreams. Thirdly, it's writer man, detective."

They'd finally reached her car and Beckett slipped into the driver's seat before Castle could protest, wary of the mud covering half her body and hoping it didn't stain the seat covers.

"Call Esposito, tell him we'll meet them at the precinct in half an hour."

"Yes ma'am." With a childish salute to match, Castle pulled out his cell.

Rolling her eyes, Beckett bit down hard on her lip, hoping the sting would take away from the ache in her stomach. Thinking of nothing but a warm, hot shower, she pressed her foot on the accelerator and headed towards her apartment.

Dancing from foot to foot, Beckett's shivering fingers made it difficult to get the damn key into her front door and her temper thinned the longer she fumbled. She glanced down at the small puddle of mud slowly forming on the carpeted floor and inwardly cursed their stupid suspect and his fondness for swinging crowbars.

After a few unsuccessful tries she finally managed to put the key in, the clicking of the lock like music to her ears. For the second time that day she propelled her body forward, thinking of nothing but a warm shower. An ominous snap was her only warning that something was wrong and she glanced up as she stepped through the doorway, eyes widening at the broken red wire dangling above her head.

She lunged backwards, but not quickly enough. A thunderous roar, a surge of heat and shards of debris flung her into the air before the hallway wall connected with her body. As she crumpled to the ground, a piercing ringing in her ears, seeing nothing but blurry red flames engulfing her apartment, she wondered hazily what freakin' psychotic person has blown up my apartment this time?

TBC

Hi everyone! I hope you like the first chapter (even though it was a little short)

I'll try to post every couple of days, assuming you're interested? Let me know pleaseee...

Jess