A/N This is just an idea that popped into my mind as I started to feel homesick today - I grew up moving countries a lot and I think a lot of the culture shock and re-entry issues are things that Annie would be dealing with as she settled into the CIA.
Disclaimer: I wish I owned an Auggie but I don't. All things Covert Affairs belong to the brilliant writers who came up with this show.

Chapter 1

"Are you dressed for a wedding or a funeral?" Annie demanded to know why Auggie was wearing a suit complete with a silk tie and jacket. It wasn't his usual style.

"Heh. A little bit of both, you are standing in front of the new head of the Office of Congressional Affairs." Annie laughed in disbelief and surprise as a wide smile spread across her face.

"That's huge, congratulations!" Auggie's quiet reply faded to the back of her mind as she began to notice how empty his office looked. The head of the OCA was not a covert role. Very much the opposite in fact. It was a public relations position - in front of the media, answering direct questions, gaining public approval for the CIA. Covert operatives were not allowed to be seen with overt operatives outside of Langley walls. It was unsafe and directly violated protocol.

"Wait...your desk isn't cleaned up its cleaned off. You're leaving me?" Annie tried to keep the panic out of her voice as she realized she was about to lose the one person who kept her world stable. He had been her best friend since day one in this place. As unpredictable and spontaneous as life in the CIA was, it still had more continuity than she had ever had in her life. Growing up as a military brat she had never had a country to call home, let alone had anyone in her life long enough to develop deep, lasting friendships. Her sister Danielle was the one person who had been through all of that with her.

Auggie was the first person she had let herself completely trust to be there for her, always. He had promised to always be there for her. Just to be clear, she was an incredibly strong person. She had excellent instincts and a strong ability to read people and connect with them. It came from years of moving countries every time her military father was reassigned - having to adapt to new cultures every year forced you to become a chameleon. She had learned to blend in with her surroundings, how to convince people she belonged, how to change accents and learn new languages on the fly. But she never truly belonged anywhere. She was always an outsider. No matter how quickly she convinced people around her that they were her best friend and knew her deeply, she always held back, keeping a piece of herself hidden. This was the reason she kept herself detached from people. This terrifying sense of loss tearing through her as she processed Auggie's words was a perfect incentive to never to let herself care deeply about people.

"Well you went from thrilled for me to sad for you in 2 seconds." Why was there still a smile in his voice? Couldn't he hear how fast her heart was beating, how hard it was for her to breathe right now? She struggled to compose herself. Taking a deep breath in she quietly asked the question she was most scared to hear the answer for.

"You'll lose your covert status, will I even be able to see you?" Mercifully Auggie couldn't see the terror in her eyes as they froze on his face like a deer in the headlights. She wasn't sure she wanted to stay for his answer. Maybe she could just pretend this wasn't really happening.

"We'll make it work." He sounded so sure. She wanted to believe him. But she had heard that phrase from too many people before. Everyone always promised to stay in touch. They promised that nothing would change. That they would stay close no matter the circumstances. It never happened. Life went on and people put their energy into those directly around them. It was just natural human behavior. She replied to him almost accusingly, it was his fault that things were changing.

"But not like this. Not every day." She heard him sigh.

"Believe it or not this was a very hard decision. And I'll still be keeping an eye on you, so to speak." Hard decision? Deciding to leave her had been a 'hard decision.' Yeah right. He just got offered the biggest promotion of his life, why would he think twice. He was clearly just trying to avoid a scene.

The rest of a conversation was a blur. Her head was spinning, she had to get out of there. Needed to sit down. The tentative sense of stability she had built during the past year at the CIA shattered as she ran out of the room.

"Annie?" She heard Auggie's questioning voice calling after her but she couldn't stop, couldn't turn around, had to get out. She ran up the stairs to the garden, collapsing on the bench struggling to breathe as the memories she usually kept tightly locked up flooded her mind. She hated saying goodbye. She had had too many of them in her life. She remembered the first time she had been torn away from all her friends on base in Darfur. She had been 8 and her father had only been given a month's notice that they were being reassigned to East Timor.

By the time her parents chose to tell her it had been the last day of school and she had to tell all her friends. One day they were there, laughing, playing hopscotch on the concrete in the hot sun – the next day she was being informed that she would never see them again. Her mind flew to her childhood best friend Sara pulling on her arm and sobbing, begging her not to leave. But she had had no choice in the matter. She had never had any choice. The orders were handed down from her father's superior officers and family was considered a mere incidental in military life. If he was going anywhere too dangerous his family would be based at the nearest friendly country and they would see him whenever he had a few days on leave. Her father had not been physically present for most of her life.

That memory of clinging to her best friend as they both sobbed stuck with her through her life though. She remembered the way her father had pulled her other hand telling her they had to hurry to catch their plane, her tears and pleas for more time to say goodbye ignored. She remembered the way the air on the airplane had felt so strange. It was too dry, it made her chest hurt. She was determined to never feel that level of pain again. That had been the day she built her first wall around her heart. It was flimsy and weak, but it was the best she could do at the age of 8.

As she swam through the wave of memories the tears she usually so carefully controlled began to roll down her cheeks, almost unnoticed. Almost, but not quite. Joan, who had expected this sort of reaction when Auggie told Annie about his promotion, had been keeping an eye on Annie all day. She had been on the phone as Annie fled Auggie's office and through her own office window's her sharp eyes took in the stricken look on her face. She had vetted Annie before accepting her into the DPD and knew of her history. Joan also had a messy past – Annie reminded her of herself in so many ways. With a sneaking suspicion of where Annie would go, she had wrapped up her phone call and walked in the direction of the roof garden to find her. Now she walked over and sat on the bench next to her. This was one of the rare times she would let one of her operatives see her softer side.