A/N: I own nothing but my original character, thankyoumuch. Lovelies, constructive criticism is appreciated and knowing that people are reading is also a plus. Also need some ideas for a name for not-Alice if anyone has any ideas? Let me know :)

Hatter hid in a vacant room around the corner where Jack stopped to push not-Alice into her own. He heard the woman scream in anger after Jack but he was already heading back the way they came with Charlie on his tail; Charlie looking around desperately for Hatter but not seeing him in time before they were out of sight. Hatter turned around let his head fall against the door as he twirled his hat around a finger in thought. He wondered if he should continue following Charlie until he could get him alone or try to see what this Alice look-alike was up to.

Impulsive and stupid though it may have seemed, he chose the latter and looked out the window quickly before making his way to her door. He needed to know what was going on but he had a few choice questions for her as well. The door was large and metal with a sliding slot, resembling a prison cell from back in Alice's world. He slid the slot open as slowly as he could but it gave out a high-pitched whine that immediately alerted her to his presence. He could see her at the far end of the room trying to unzip her dress and it took no more than a second for her to grab a large glass vase and chuck it his way. Hatter ducked in reflex and bit his lip to keep from yelling out as the glass shattered on the door, bits flying out of the slot.

"Get out of here before I reach through there and rip your throat out, you stupid card!" she cried threateningly and the tone in her voice didn't make him doubt for a second that she would try.

"I'm not a card, I swear! I just wanted to…to…I don't know-" he started desperately.

"Just wanted to what? Perv on me just like everyone else in this damn place?" she screamed.

He tried to hush her at first with a finger to his lips but then stomped his foot at her allegation, glaring steadily through the small opening in the door. "You have a lot of nerve calling me a pervert when you're sitting here dressed as another woman, playing house with the King of Wonderland like a couple of weird fetish freaks."

She stepped slowly towards the door, her face immediately flushing and becoming almost maroon by the time she reached him. "Does it look like I'm having a good time in here? Does it look like I can just walk out of here whenever I damn well please? Does it look like I want to be here?" she screamed again and slammed her fists on the door, causing Hatter to falter and step back. Her powder-blue eyes sparkled out at him in anger and frustration, threatening tears.

"Good point. You're not here because…" he stuttered.

"No! Whatever you're thinking, no! What the hell is wrong with you? Who the hell are you? Where have you been?" she asked, looking at him like he was simple, stupid, or possibly both.

"I haven't been…here. I haven't been in Wonderland for a long while now," he confessed regretfully, "Tell me what's going on here."

She seemed to calm slightly as she let loose her hard stance against the door and crossed her arms. She blatantly ignored his request. "Who are you?" she asked.

He hesitated, not knowing whether or not he should be telling her after what Charlie had so vaguely gleaned to him earlier. He didn't know what was going on and he didn't want any trouble for himself or the crazed knight; but something about the way she was looking at him made him think he needed to. That it was important.

"Hatter," he nodded and smirked to hide his nervousness. Her eyes immediately lit up in recognition of his name and she ran forward, wrapping her fingers outside of the slot. A smile of relief spread across her face and it was like a 180 and she was a completely different woman.

"I was afraid the Duchess had sent you to provoke me enough to slip up. But I've heard of you, Charlie has told me stories. Jack Heart wants your head on a platter, you shouldn't be here," she warned.

"I'm aware," Hatter looked around as if the mention of it had suddenly set him on edge. "Are you hurt?" he asked out of the blue, pointing to her fingernails which were rimmed in blood. She smiled that sarcastic smile he first saw when she first stepped out of the ballroom and pulled her hands away from the door.

"No, it's Jack's blood. He got a little too handsy earlier and I managed to scratch him. That's why I thought the Duchess had sent you…" she stopped suddenly as steps could be heard coming down the corridor toward Hatter. He froze.

"Find me again and I'll tell you everything, Hatter. Don't go back to Charlie; he's in enough trouble as it is for helping me. Go, I'll stall them," she rushed him and stuck her arm through the door. As Hatter took off he could hear her slapping the door and screaming obscenities at the unfortunate soul who had gone near her cell.

He smiled for the first time in what seemed like forever. She was positively the most absurd woman he had ever met.