Before we start, I wanted to say that this is a joint effort between myself, and Smilindolfin! We were inspired by a fanfic written by .But Friends Make Secrets who wrote The Symptoms of Insanity! This story is based on our own list of insane things which we have done, or have seen done by friends and family! Please enjoy!

The Caribbean sunlight shone down upon the ocean where a lone ship sailed across the great expanse of water. This was a most unusual ship as ships go. Instead of the usual white cotton sails, it had black ones, tattered, but still serviceable. The ship itself was also painted black, but seeing as the name of the vessel was The Black Pearl, it didn't seem so unusual after all. It was, perhaps, the crew of said ship that made it the most uncommon. They were a mismatched bunch of men, and even the occasional woman.

First, there was the captain, Jack Sparrow, a rum obsessed pirate with dreadlocks, and a deep tan, who also possessed a "broken" compass which he used most often. There was also his first mate, a superstitious man who used to serve in the Royal Navy named Mr. Gibbs; a blacksmith, formerly of Port Royal, come to save his "true love", named Will Turner (commonly nicknamed "The Whelp"); and a man named Mr. Cotton who couldn't talk, so he had a parrot to do it for him. There were also two troublesome fellows named Ragetti and Pintel, each never seen without the other and always up to some sort of mischief. There were two women aboard, which Mr. Gibbs frequently pointed out was terrible bad luck. There was the governor's daughter, Elizabeth Swann, the "true love" of aforementioned Will Turner, and Anna-Maria, an old acquaintance of Jack's. Finally, and perhaps most unusually, there was a former commodore of the royal navy, James Norrington, who was at this very moment engaged in a sparring match with Mr. Turner.

The two men whirled in a dance across the upper deck of The Pearl. They seemed evenly matched in skill, though Norrington had the advantage of height. Unfortunately, Norrington also had the disadvantage of a very old sword. It was the first one he had acquired since joining Sparrow's crew, and he just didn't have the heart to replace it, though he had been told many times to do so. There were cracks along the blade, the hilt was ragged, and the metal bent. The balance was off to everyone but Norrington, as he had gotten used to the dilapidated state of his blade.

"James you really should replace that sword, mate," commented Jack as he watched the two men duel.

"Mind your own business, Sparrow." Norrington spat irritably as he whirled to block an attack from his opponent.

"Ah, there should be a Captain in there somewhere, mate. Besides I'm just tryin' to be friendly-like towards your stuffy former commodorely self," Jack said in a huff before ambling off toward the bow of the ship. Norrington, riled by the captain's jibes, attacked with more force, and was utterly shocked when he struck Turner's blade, his own snapped cleanly in half.

"What-" he said stepping back in shock. "My sword!" James said miserably.

"Told ya…" came Jack's voice as he ambled by once more, poking the former commodore on his way. Norrington spared a scathing glare for the pirate before returning to his dejected inspection of his broken weapon.

Norrington hefted the blade with a determined expression on his face. "Well, come on, Turner! I don't believe we were finished just yet!" he said with as much confidence as he could.

"Uh, shouldn't we wait until you have a new swor-" Will started before Norrington interrupted him.

"I don't' NEED a new sword! This one still works just fine!"

Jack walked over to James and snatched the broken weapon from his hand and waved it in his face. "This ain't even half a sword, mate! You can't fight with half a sword!"

James snatched it back with a withering glance. "I can, and I will. Just watch!" he said arrogantly, determined to prove the pirate wrong. At Norrington's adamant insistence, the two returned to their duel, and within a minute Norrington was disarmed and his sword, upon it's impact with the deck, shattered into even smaller pieces.

Norrington looked crestfallen as he picked up the hilt with a small piece of the blade still attached. "Well, I suppose it would be a serviceable dagger…" he said with a woeful sigh. Will shook his head in disbelief, while jack walked right up to James and poked him again.

You're bloody insane, mate," he said smirking. "I knew you weren't all perfectly commodorial!"

"I assure you, Captain Sparrow, I am perfectly sane. Unlike some people on this ship." Jack pouted for a moment before running below decks and disappearing into his cabin. He returned shortly brandishing a piece of rather filthy parchment that read

"The List of Potentially or Rather Actually Insane Acts of the Maddeningly Lunatic Nature:

Refusing to replace your sword even though it is beyond hope.

"There!" exclaimed the eccentric captain. "It's official! Anything and everything insane should and shall be on this list!" he said as he took a piece of Norrington's broken sword and used it to pin the parchment to the door if his cabin. Norrington put his face in his hands and turned away from Jack, lest he give in to his strong urge to strangle him.