'Cause I got the real love

The kind that you need

THREE HUNDRED

Shinji's hand flew out at the very instant the alarm activated, and he took a long, low, humming breath, as if gathering his strength. He looked at the clock. He had to be precise. He had to be perfect. It was six o'clock in the morning. If he could do this, if he could pull it off, it would all be worth it. He knew it. He whispered it like a benediction, just barely louder than if he'd moved his lips without sound. He had to give form to the words, dangerous as they might be if anyone heard.

"I don't care," he breathed, "if this works, and I wake up tomorrow and it's today again and I fail over and over again forever, if I'm in hell, then I accept it, but if I make her happy, let he keep it. Please. Let her have a happy tomorrow, even if I don't see it. I don't know how this happened, or why, and I don't care anymore. Please, don't make her go through this with me."

He blinked the tears away and got up. He had work to do. The first order of business was slipping on his sweat pants, sliding into flip flops, and heading out the door. He thrust his hands into his pockets and made his way to the Laundromat. He spotted Hyuga and smiled inwardly to himself, and glanced at the clock on the bank across the street. He knew where they all were now.

"Hi, mister Hyuga," Shinji said amiably as he passed the technician carrying a bundle of laundry into the Laundromat.

Shinji ducked inside, wiping his brow to make it seem like he was avoiding the head. It was blessedly cool inside.

"What are you doing up so early, Shinji?" Hyuga asked, stuffing assorted bras and other lacy undergarments into a washer. "Aren't you kids off today?"

"I couldn't sleep," he shrugged. "I'm going for a walk. What's that stuff?"

"It's Misato's laundry," Hyuga said sheepishly, pushing the last of it in. "I'll drop it off later. She's going to a wedding tonight."

"With you?"

Hyuga sputtered. "What? No, she's going with Mister Kaji, why would…"

Shinji shrugged. "I just thought, you know, if you're washing her underwear…"

"Nah…" Hyuga said wistfully. "It's not like that. I'm just being nice."

"Oh," Shinji said. "I guess I should get going. Hey, isn't that Miss Ibuki?"

"Oh," Hyuga said, "Hey! Maya! Hi!"

Smirking to himself, Shinji strode out of the Laundromat unnoticed, and headed towards the Geofront entrance down the street. The security guard gave him a nod and a wave.

"Hi," he said, waving back. The man looked up at him, a bit confused, before turning back to his paper.

"Hey kid," he called as Shinji slowly descended the escalator, five minutes ahead of schedule. "What's a seven letter word for the cycle of death and rebirth?"

"Samsara," Shinji called back.

The stroll through Dogma to Doctor Akagi's office was leisurely, and Shinji felt fairly relaxed as he strode confidently into her office. He waited for her to notice her, and smiled.

"Hello, Shinji. What can I do for you?"

"Nothing. I was just out for a walk. I saw your light on and I thought you could use a cup of coffee."

He set a steaming twenty ounce cup of coffee on her desk in an open space and she eyed it hungrily for a moment, then dumped out and replaced the cold sludge in her cup, refilled it, took a sip. She sat back, delighted.

"This is delicious. Cream and two sugars?"

"Yes," he smiled. "Oh, by the way, you need to increase the cycles by two point five percent and reconfigured the matrix, that'll solve the instability and bring the model into alignment."

She stared at him for a moment, then looked at her computer screen, then back to him. Without speaking, she typed in the commands, and watched the complicated geometric patterns on her screen align and turn green.

"I've been working on that for three days," she said. "I never thought I'd figure that out. How did you…"

"You would have, in a few hours, I'm sure," he shrugged. "Say, if you went and got some sleep, couldn't you make the wedding tonight?"

"How did you know I was invited?"

"Oh, Misato is upset you're not going. She said she misses the old times."

Ritsuko looked at him for a minute. "Really?"

He nodded, checked the clock on her computer screen, and took his leave. "Enjoy your coffee."

"Uh, thanks," she said absently, taking another sip.

Humming to himself, Shinji walked into the locker room, disrobed, and padded barefoot into the showers. Once he'd taken a five minute hot shower he changed into the school uniform he kept here, counted his plugsuits for some reason, and walked back towards the Geofront entrance, where he caught the train out to the memorial.

His father was right on time.

"It's been three years since the last time we came here together," he said on cue, not looking at Shinji but at the grave before him.

"Yes," Shinji said, "I ran away. I was frightened. I felt abandoned, and you were the only thing I had left. I was terrified that I no longer had any meaning. Even when you called me here, when I began piloting Eva, was craving your attention. When I stand here, even though she's not under there, I understand that she wouldn't want that. I know what I have to do now. I am going to save Asuka. I am going to make her happy. Even if it's with someone else, even if it's for only one day, I am going to do that for her. I know you're standing there listening to me. I'm not asking for your help. If you want to give it, I'll take it, because my pride isn't as important as helping her. If you don't want to give it, then we don't need to play games anymore. If you will not help me, then the hell with you."

Silence fell between them for a while. Shinji counted the seconds in his head. Any moment now he would turn and leave and Shinji really didn't care. He believed it. He really did. The old man could just leave for all it mattered to him.

"Shinji,"

"Don't tell me to grow up, old man."

"Did I ever tell you how I met your mother?"

"No,"

"Another time, perhaps. I do not know if I understand you, or if you understand me, but from what you have said, perhaps in time we could. That time is not today."

"I understand, Father."

"Your relationship with Pilot Soryu is irrelevant to the larger concerns of your purpose here. I would advise you to focus yourself on-"

"With all due respect, sir, I would advise you that I'm going to save her and if you don't like it you can go to hell."

"I see," his father said, and turned. He stopped just before he was out of earshot.

"Perhaps I underestimated you after all."

Shinji shrugged and began walking. He had a train to catch.

He tapped his foot on the train in time to music only he could hear, bobbing his head along with it until the chime told him it was time to exit the train. He jogged out into the city and slowed, finally, taking a moment to breathe out and glance up at the overcast sky. He was starting to miss the sight of the sun, really and truly miss it. How long had it been? A year? The same day, again and again, and…

Eggs.

"Why, they just came in," the old man said as Shinji made his way to the back of the story. "By the way, do you…"

"Samsara," Shinji smiled, leaving the money on the counter.

"Thank you…?" the man said to the air as Shinji jogged back out into the street.

He skidded to a halt as Asuka made her way out of the apartment building towards the arcade. When he was sure he wouldn't see her, he headed up to the apartment, put the eggs in the refrigerator. Then, he grabbed Pen Pen's flipper and yanked him out.

"Look bird, I don't like you,"

"Wark!"

"…and you don't like me, but I need your help. The angry red one, we're going to make her happy, got it? Happy."

"Wark."

He handed the bird a beer and shoved him back into the refrigerator, then paced a quick circuit around the living room. Kensuke and Toji would wake up in five minutes and ten minutes, respectively. He had to make sure this was timed. When the clock hit the right minute, he started on his way towards Rei's apartment.

He found her, as he expected, sitting on her bed in her uniform reading a book.

"Hi, Rei," he said as he walked into the apartment.

"Pilot Ikari,"

"Shinji," he corrected. "What are you doing today?"

"I am studying," she said, holding up the book.

"We're off from school. Why don't you relax?"

"I do not understand."

"Have you ever had a donut?"

"No."

"Want to try one?"

"No."

"Come on, they're really good."

"I am studying."

He sighed. "Rei, I promise, if you come with me for half an hour, I won't bug you anymore. There's a donut shop two blocks from here. Besides, I saved you from, like, three Angels. You owe me one."

"Very well," she said, rising to follow him.

About ten minutes later, they found themselves standing in front of the counter, the donut man warily eyeing the strange albino looking over his wares. Shinji smiled broadly at him and slapped some money down on the counter.

"I'd like white frosting and sprinkles, please, and a twenty ounce mocha latte."

"And for you, miss?"

Rei stared at the board for a moment longer. "I will have what he is having."

"Have a pink one," Shinji said absently, taking his donut.

"Very well. I shall have a pink one." Rei said flatly. The donut man shrugged and handed her the donut, then prepared their coffees. Shinji led her to a table.

"Are we required to engage in conversation?" Rei said as they sat down. "People usually converse in these circumstances."

"if you want to," Shinji shrugged. "You have to do what's best for you."

"What is best for me," Rei said, raising her donut to her lips.

Here it comes. She took a small, demure bite, chewed thoroughly, then took a sip of coffee, wincing slightly at the heat. She considered them for a moment.

"This… is good."

"I thought you'd like it," he said as he took another sip of coffee. "Have you ever had bagel?"

"No," said Rei, taking another bite. "I have not."

"Maybe next weekend. I'd offer to take you for dinner, but I'm hoping Asuka will be free later."

Something odd happened, something that Shinji did not expect. Rei looked surprised.

"I do not understand. She does not appear to enjoy your company."

"I know. I think she acts the way she does around me because she's comfortable with me, actually."

"Why would you want to expose yourself to her rude behavior?"

"I don't. I want her to smile and be happy."

"Why?"

Shinji didn't quite know how to answer that, even after all this time. He took a sip of coffee and looked out the window. "Because if I have a perfect day and she doesn't, there's no point."

"I see," Rei said, taking the last bite of her donut. "May I go?"

"If you want to."

Rei sat for a moment. "I am unsure of what I wish to do."

"You could go shopping," Shinji shrugged. "Don't you get tired of wearing that every day?"

She looked down at her uniform. "I have never considered it before. I will ask the Commander for an allowance."

"You know, we get paid."

"We do?"

Shinji suppressed a laugh. "Yeah. I've got to run. I'll see you at school tomorrow, Rei."

Carrying his coffee with him, he saluted the donut man by raising it and stepped out into the heat, already feeling the sweat prickling on his skin. He downed the last of the coffee, almost regretting a hot drink on a hot day, but by now he just didn't care anymore. He looked up at the sun, now having just passed directly overhead. Only a few hours to go.

He started walking towards Toji's house. He knew he wouldn't make it, and so wasn't the least bit surprised when he ran into them halfway into town.

"Where are you guys headed?"

"Shinji?" Toji said. "We don't usually see you on weekends. We're on our way to the arcade, man, want to tag along?"

"Nah," Shinji said, hands stuffed in his pocket. "Hey, how about we go play basketball instead?"

Toji considered it for a moment. "Let's go grab my ball."

Kensuke snickered.

"Shut up, Kensuke," Toji snapped.

Shinji breathed a deep sigh of relief as the trio made their way onto the court. Toji seemed a little surprised at the depth of Shinji's game. Kensuke sat on the edge of the court fiddling with his laptop. Shinji almost let himself run too long, he was enjoying the game so thoroughly. He was winded, panting, and had to lean against the fence for a few minutes.

"I've got to run," he said. "I had a great time, guys,"

"See ya," Toji waved.

A broad smile on his face, Shinji jogged back to the apartment. It was almost dark now. He'd almost forgotten. He started to feel the butterflies in his stomach at last. It was an odd sensation. The plan was simple.

The plan was there was no plan.

He luxuriated in a long shower, knowing he had a good hour. After he toweled off he dressed in a clean pair of sweats and a t-shirt- anything but that damned school uniform. He pulled his cello out into the living room, sat down, and started to play. He hummed the words to himself and started working out the melody. He couldn't do the bass line, so the song was almost unrecognizeable. After what felt like an eternity, he realized that Asuka was staring at him.

"What was that?" she said as he came to a literal screeching halt.

"Lady Gaga."

"Excuse me?"

Shinji shrugged. "I'm experimenting."

The phone rang.

"I"ll be that's Misato."

Asuka stared at him while she listened to the handset. She slowly put it down and turned to him.
"That was weird."

"Well," he said, "who else would call. How was your day?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Fine, I guess. Hikari tried to set me up with some dork she knows. I ditched him in the amusement park."

"Oh, that's too bad," Shinji said, tuning one of his strings. "you could use a nice night out."

"What's that supposed to mean," she said, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

He met her gaze. "We're under a lot of stress. You especially. With all your time spent training, you deserve as much happiness as you can find."

She stared at him blankly for a moment. "What the hell has gotten into you?"

"I'm having a good day."

He slid his instrument into the case, put up the bow, and put his hands on his hips. "Oh well. I'm bored. Are you bored?"

"Yeah," she said absently.

"What should we do?"

"We? Who says we should do anything?"

Shinji shrank a little. "If you want to do something on your own, I understand. I'm sure you've had a long day. I'm going to steal Misato's car."

With that, he plucked the keys from the rack and started out the door. A hand caught his wrist, a warm, soft hand. He smiled and didn't care if she saw it.

"Okay, what the hell?"

"I'm stealing Misato's car. I'm going to drive it illegally."

"What? Have you lost your mind?"

"No," Shinji said with an earnestness that surprised even himself, "I think I found it."

"Okay, Yoda, you go ahead and commit grand theft auto."

"I was going to put it back."

"Okay," she said finally. "This I have to see, even if it's just to watch you die in a fireball."

He made his way down the parking lot, looked around, and crossed to where Misato had left the car parked. He hopped in, deftly started it, threw it into reverse, and backed to where Asuka stood.

"Need a ride?" he said cheerfully.

She hesitated for a moment, uncharacteristically for her.

"You're not scared, are you?"

"Oh hell no," Asuka snapped, sliding in beside him. She clipped her safety belt and crossed her arms over her chest. "Well?"

He flipped on the radio. "Let's ride."

Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

Caught in a landslide

No escape from reality

"Queen?" Asuka said as Shinji slowly pulled out into traffic.

"I love tinted windows," he said, waving at a passing police officer.

"Shinji? Have you done this before?"

"Not before today," he said truthfully.

Mama, ooohooooh, didn't mean to make you cry,

Asuka's hand flicked out and turned off the radio.

"I don't like that song," she said softly.

"That's okay," Shinji shrugged, accelerating onto the highway.

"Where are we going, anyway?"

"Where would you like to go?"

She considered it for a moment, looking out the windows. "Remember where we watched the stars after the blackout?"

"Sure," he said, putting on the turn signal before changing lanes.

"You're a better driver than Misato," Asuka said absently.

"Yes, Yes I am. I had a good teacher."

"What? Someone taught you to drive? Who?"

"It's a secret," Shinji said sheepishly.

"Uh-huh," Asuka said absently. She crossed her legs and sunk into the seat, letting her head rest against the seat. She closed her eyes for a minute.

"Shinji?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think Kaji is having a good time with Misato?"

"We're here," Shinji said, putting the car in park. He got out and walked to the overlook, breathing in the night air. It was a bit cooler, but not by much. At least the cicadas had finally shut up.

"You didn't answer me," Asuka said, following him.

"Oh, yeah, I hope they're having fun."

"Why? So you can have me all to yourself? You're jealous of Kaji, aren't you? You should be, he's…"

"I'm not jealous of Kaji," Shinji said earnestly, looking right into her eyes. "But I do want you all to myself. I don't want to be friends. I want your love, and I want your revenge. You and me could have a bad romance."

Her mouth fell open. "Do you mean that?"

"Yes. Absolutely."

"How long have you been working on that stupid line?"

"Oh, about a year."

"You've only known me about two months," she said sharply, narrowing her eyes.

"Oh," he said, "maybe it just felt that long."

"I don't know what to say," she said, hugging herself.

"Say what you want," he said. "I want you to be happy. That's more important than what I want. If you want me to take you home right now, I will. I want you to go to bed smiling tonight.

Fuck, he thought to himself, here comes the slap, I can't believe I…

"Let's kiss," she said, taking a step towards him.

Okay!

"Wait," he said, "why?"

"What do you mean why? Why does it-"

"I don't want to kiss you if it's because you're bored, or because there's nothing better to do. The only way I want to kiss you is if you want to kiss me and I want to kiss you."

"Do you want to, you know, kiss me?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

"Then do it," she said. "Here I come."

He closed his eyes and leaned in, and felt her fingers on his nose.

"Your breathing tickles," she said, almost touching her lips to his, but not quite.

"Good," he said, and twined his fingers through hers. He put his arm around her and pulled her into an embrace while holding her other hand next to his head, gripping it tightly. She squeezed it back as her lips met his. Since this had all started, this had played out a dozen times, maybe more, he'd lost count. It was different this time. An electric shock went through his spine, and she must have felt it, too; her stomach muscles were fluttering against his. They started to sway, as if they were dancing, and only stopped to breathe. Shinji didn't even realize he'd heard the thunder until it started to rain.

"Huh," he said, breaking from her lips for a moment, "that's new."

"What, rain?" she said, confused. Her hair was already slicked against her head. A cool breeze blew in from the mountains, and Shinji relaxed, pulling her tighter against him.

"When I kiss you, everything is new."

She laughed. "How long were you saving that one?"

"I just made it up," he said, "honest."

ZERO

Ti-i-i-ime is on my side, yes it is…

Shinji's eyes flew open, tears straining at the corners. No. Not again. It's not fair. His mouth opened, and then a pale arm reached over his head and turned the alarm clock off. Asuka settled against him, smacking her lips. She didn't wake. He stared at her for a moment. He eyes blinked open slowly and she yawned.

"Is this real?"

"Oh, this is very real," Misato said, sliding the door to his bedroom open. "I am very disappointed in both of you."

"M-Misato," Shinji said. He glanced at Asuka, watching him from where her head lay on his shoulder. His expression tightened. "That's right, I did it, I did it all. I stole your car."

Misato blinked. "Wait, what? I meant sleeping together. What did you do to my car?"

"I'll have you know that sleeping is all we did," Asuka crossed her arms under the blanket. "I'm not some hussy like you, to give it up on the first date."

"Third date," Kaji corrected, appearing in the doorway.

"Hi, Mister Kaji," said Shinji.

"Hi, Shinji," Kaji grinned. "I need to borrow Misato for at least twenty minutes."

He slid the door closed.

"Well," Shinji said, "that was different."

Asuksa snuggled against his side. "Yep."

Shinji jumped when his phone rang. He sat up. An Angel attack. Great, that was all he… wait, that number…

"Hello?"

"Shinji?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Good work. I've had school cancelled for the day."

"Thank you, sir."

"Yes."

The line went dead.

"Who was that?" Asuka said.

"Nobody important," Shinji mused, tossing the phone into the pile with his school books and wet uniform.

"Hey," he grinned. "Want some eggs?"

Author's Note:

This story basically sprung, fully formed, into my head last night, built around a few scenes and fleshed out from there. Normally I try to focus a lot on descriptions in my work, but I figured describing the same things, places and events over and over would get a tad repetitive. I also thought about including an epilogue/distant finale, but at four am my addled, sleep-deprived brain said "eh, I kept them up all night, I should let them fool around in private."

It made sense at the time. Doesn't everything?