Ch1- My god he's beautiful

Have you ever loved someone so much it hurt to breathe? So much that it hurt to look at them because they're just so beautiful? It's the most painful feeling in the world. There are no butterflies or tender loving moments, no, there are cold chills and the bitterness of knowing nothing you can ever do will ever be enough. Nothing will ever be enough to show what you feel for this person.

When I look the beautiful green eyed blond lying next to me I know I'll never be able to describe my love for him.I ran my finger tips along his porcelain cheek. His skin was pale and perfect. I trailed my fingers up word toward his hair and wrapped a few blond strands around my index finger and then watched it all fall back into place. His eye lashes were long, dark, and thick. They cast shadows over his cheeks. His lips were parted ever so slightly as warm breath past through them. I watched the even rise and fall of his chest.

Just the look of him made my heart race. My god he was so beautiful. I guess I felt a little awkward in a way, me, Alfred F. Jones, being so love sick was unusual. I'm known for not caring for anything but a chocolate shake and a hamburger. Now it all meant nothing. I'd let go of almost everything. Arthur mattered though.

Even though we fought…a lot, I loved him so much. I made him cry all the time. Hs tears used to have less of an effect on me but now….feeling so strongly for him….his tears make me want to cry. It's like a knife. I hated when we fought, so did he. Arthur didn't like to argue. It always resulted in him kicking me out and me wondering around the city for hours and then going back home to make up. It was a repeated process. The only part I cared for was the "making up"

I leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. Even a kiss on the cheek was turned sensual. I could taste him. It was like the taste of his skin seeped through my lips and lingered on my tongue. Even if I never once opened my mouth, I could taste him.

I sighed and climbed out of bed. The cherry wood floor was cold against my bare feet. It sent shivers up my back and I drew my arms around myself. Arthur always says that if I'd wear socks to bed, I wouldn't have the problem with the floor being so cold. But I hated the feel of socks under the covers. It was bad enough that Arthur refused to sleep bare foot and I have to deal with the feel of his socks against my skin. Which was highly irritating.

The kitchen wasn't any warmer. My lover insisted on the house being nearly 67 degrees all year round. This sucked for me because I do hate the cold. A sigh past through my lips and I sat down at the table and rested my head in my hands. Sometimes I had to leave the room just to catch my breath. This time I had to sort out what was said during out fight before Arthur fell asleep, so I could apologize when he woke up.

I thought back on it for a second, it had happened just a little over a half an hour ago.

"You're always late you, git"

"I'd think you'd be used to it by now"

"Why can't you just show up on time? Don't I mean anything to you?"

"Of course you do"

'I just sat in that restaurant for a freaking hour and a half waiting for you and you never showed"

"Arthur I'm sorry, I love you"

"Shut up and leave me alone"

My blue eyed gaze shifted toward the ceiling. I hadn't meant to stand him up. I was up late and thought if I took a nap id be a little more pleasant during our date, but I over slept….and missed it entirely. I was supposed to meet Arthur at a restaurant during his lunch hour. I really hadn't meant to upset him…..again. It just seemed to be something I was good at.

I bit my lower lip and stared down at the mahogany table in front of me. A certain familiar pain filled my chest as I remembered the tone in his voice. I hated when he said stuff like "don't I mean anything to you?" and all I can think when he says it is "you mean the entire world to me" I just don't know how to show it.