Headache

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, unfortunately.

Read and review! or just read, but don't just review.

Lying down in the clearing of somewhere in the forest looking up at the cloudy blue sky Kiba sighed, he was finally back, after what seemed like years. He had missed The Hidden Leaf Village while he was on a month long mission with Akamaru, he was sent to deliver some scrolls to a creepy old man in a cave. It was originally only a week long thing, get some information and so on, it was marked as an ANBU mission for some reason, but, after two days the entrance to his cave collapsed, leading to a really long mission, and occasionally a creepy man cuddling up to him during the night... Akamaru, was less than willing to cuddle with the old man.

Just the thought of it made him shiver, if they ever needed someone to do that again they could send Shikamaru, he loved naps.

"I told you, stop thinking about it, he'll get you in your dreams if you do."

"Very funny, but I think he might want to cuddle with you this time." Kiba looked over at the dog lying beside him with a smirk on his face.

"I made a choice, and I still think it was the right one." Akamaru said while starting to stand up. Kiba waved off the comment closing his eyes and trying to think of anything not involving cuddling. That mans hands moved far to much to be 'just trying to get comfy'.

"Maybe we should see if Rock Lee would wanna go see the old man, he seems friendly." Kiba said in a drowsy voice. 'A nap would be nice' he thought to himself.

"Just because you saw him cuddle with Gai does not mean he wants to cuddle with every creepy person around" Kiba scoffed at the dogs words.

"I didn't think he would cuddle with every creepy guy around, only the old ones." Kiba chuckled

"Maybe we should tell everyone we're back." Akamaru barked at him. Though it was a fatal attempt as Kiba simply rolled onto his side, ignoring him completly. "Master, please, you know how Tsunade gets." Akamaru started to nudge him.

"After my nap." He mumbled.

"What about Tsume?" Akamaru nudged him again.

"Nap first, punching later." Kiba said while swatting at him.

"You can't keep avoiding this" Akamaru said in a pitiful tone.

"Yes I can." Kiba snapped back.

"Think about your duty, think about Mai." The dog started to whine.

"You know, I'd rather not." Akamaru snorted, there was only so much of Kibas laziness he would take, and Kiba knew that.

"...What about Naruto?" The dog asked nudging him still. Kiba shook his head and stayed silent, 'nice way to change the subject'. "You know if you don't tell him your back he'll never stop mentioning it." Kiba let out a heavy sigh, he was willing to live with it, either way there would be screaming, then there'd be punching and then there'd be...a wedding, yuck!

That was the exact reason he didn't want to tell anybody he was here, the stupid wedding. He had to provide a suitable heir to take over the clan after he died, apparently the kid he had already wasn't good enough. Stupid clan laws, they made it hard as hell to marry into the clan, so having a child with someone outside of the clan made it impossible for that child to get any sort of benefits.

"Akamaru... Why don't you tell everyone I'm here?" The dog grinned and ran off. Maybe now he could get some shut eye, though it was unlikely, knowing Akamaru he would tell that creepy stalker Mai first, and knowing creepy stalkers (old man included) she would come screeching with that annoying voice. The first time he ever heard it, he thought a walrus was dying. "Ugh..." After he got married he would probably never get to sleep again, or see his son, Kaemon again...Or see Sakura again.

Stupid Mai hated Sakura, and she hated Kaemon, anything to do with a small drunken experience, with a very small, (but powerful) pink haired medic eight years ago. Kiba stared back up at the sky, once again trying to forget about all of the crap that would happen once Mai found him. She had enough time to talk about the wedding, planning the wedding, talking to Kiba? No. But he wasn't complaining, maybe if she acted like this when they were married things wouldn't be so bad.

"Papa!" Kiba turned his head to see little feet running over to him, he looked a little bit higher to see his sons face. He had black slits as eyes, birthmarks on his cheeks and brown spiky hair with pink tips, oddly enough they were natural, but other than that there was really no resemblance to Sakura on the boy, so he didn't understand why the kid couldn't get any benefits, people from other villages wouldn't know anything so it wouldn't embarrass the clan much, and Kaemon was just like him, so he'd do a great job.

"Hey Kaemon. Here to train?" Kiba said right before pulling him to the ground.

"Papa, Mai is gonna be mad if you don't go see her." Kaemon said with a worried expression, the kid still had hopes he and Sakura would make up and they could be a happy family, he just didn't understand they couldn't be together, there was no other heir, and his mother scared away all of her chances for a new mate years ago. He also didn't know Mai hated him, so every time she was around he'd try to make a conversation, but Mai would just shrug him off. It annoyed Kiba to the point he tried to punch her once, but she dropped something and bent down to pick it up, making him miss, that old gag.

"So this is where you are Kaemon! You had me worried sick!"

"Hi mama!" Kaemon started to wave. As he did Kiba looked up to see her, she looked like she was glowing, even though she had a small annoyed look on her face. She was wearing a black short skirt that matched her curves perfectly, and a green long-sleeved shirt, that looked like it belonged to a librarian, she seemed to get a different wardrobe after Kaemon was born.

'Damn' He thought to himself, she was a beautiful woman, maybe the fact she was the mother of his child only made him notice her more, but it didn't do anything to her looks. Except when she was as fat as a whale, of course when she was screaming at him during childbirth saying she'd kill him, that just put the romance back into the relationship.

She walked over and picked up Kaemon from the ground beside him giving him a small kiss on the cheek, and a really long hug, so long in fact, all he had to do was tilt his head a few inches and he was staring right up her skirt. 'White panties, with a black skirt, nice.' He grinned to himself, this was pure instinct, she couldn't get mad at him for that.

"Kiba!" 'Poor walrus' suddenly popped into his mind. "Yoohoo!" Sakura and Kaemon both turned their heads, even though it was obvious who it was, Kiba on the other hand just kept staring, this was a better view than he'd ever get with Mai, even if she was naked.

"Ahem" He looked up at the faces staring down at him. Mai, disapproving, like always when he was near Sakura or Kaemon. Sakura, didn't look like she noticed him getting a few peeks at her, but was annoyed to have Mai around no doubt. Last but not least, was Kaemon, well, he just looked like a goof. "Kiba-kun" 'gross' "We need to talk" 'but I don't want to'

"Sure, why not." She smiled a totally fake smile. He only stared at her, she had red hair and black slit eyes, like any other Inuzuka, though she had no markings she had fangs, but she looked more like one of those blood sucking bats than an Inuzuka. Of course on the inside she was like a bat, sucking a person of their free will 'till they seemed to have no soul, he had met her father. He looked at her up and down, she wore a dress with flowers as the design, like most of the things she wore it was to small, looking like it would rip if she bent over. How was he supposed to mark someone like this, being near her was torture enough.

"Well.. I guess we should go now, say goodbye Kaemon." Sakura said while staring daggers at Mai, he could understand why, you could mess with Sakura, but mess with her son and you'd get an ass kicking, or deep hatred.

"Bye Mai! Bye papa!" He waved back at them as Sakura carried him away. Once they were gone Mai turned and looked at Kiba.

"What the hell was that?" She snapped

"What was what, love?" He cringed as he said it.

"You were looking up that sluts skirt!" She yelled

"Your imagining things, my eyes only look at you." He said with a smile, but on the inside he was dying, and he was sure his ears were going to start bleeding at any second.

"Hmph! Didn't you tell that thing to come and get me first?" 'Actually I wanted him to get you last'.

"No, I'm sorry dear, and he's not a thing." She called Akamaru a 'thing' it was annoying as hell, she was an Inuzuka but she didn't have a companion, him and Akamaru had a conversation on this once, he said she ate it.

"Whatever!" She screeched 'moody much?'

"Well, what did you want to talk about?" He asked trying not to rip his hair out.

"Who says I want to talk about anything?" Kiba clenched his fists.

"Well, if you didn't I would have enjoyed at least talking with my son." His rage was starting to take over.

"What'll happen when we have a child then?" 'I was hoping you'd die before then' "Will you just talk to that kid all the time? Leaving ours feeling lonely and mistreated." She scrunched up her nose.

"What does that have to do with anything!" He yelled, she wasn't making any sense.

"Nothing, we have to go to your mothers, things about the wedding, drop by later." She smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek before turning around and walking away. As she left Kiba just stood there dumbfounded.

"What the hell just happened?" He honestly didn't know, but he did know Mai was definitely off her rocker. Shaking his head he looked around for anybody coming before taking off, if he was lucky Sakura and Kaemon would still be outside somewhere, Sakura didn't like him in here house, because she was always afraid they'd get drunk and have another 'meeting'. Not like another kid would be bad, just more punching from his mother.

He ran into town looking all around for any sign of pink hair, but that was a-lot harder than it sounded, their were so many pink things: food, flowers, signs, obviously none of them were Sakura, or the Sakura he was looking for anyways.

He stopped running once he reached Ino's flower shop, and right outside was Kaemon sitting on the ground looking at his feet.

"Hey Kaemon." Kiba said, trying to hide the fact he was out of breath and desperate to find them.

"Papa!" Kaemons face lit up as soon as he saw him, he got up and ran giving him a hug, or his leg a hug.

"Where's your mom?" Kiba said looking around.

"She's in the flower shop, I can't go in because the smell of them tickle my nose." Kiba smiled at the boy, his senses were developing fast, he would be a great Inuzuka, if the elders weren't so strict about everything.

"Well, I'll keep you company until she gets back." The boy smiled and shook his head vigorously. They walked over to the wall of the shop and sat down, Kaemon mostly talked about how lonely Sakura had been lately, a not so subtle attempt to try and get him to comfort her, but cute either way. He also asked about Akamaru, the little boy wanted a companion so bad, but the apartment they stayed at wasn't dog friendly, or Inuzuka friendly, as it seemed the owner was a cat person.

"Maybe if we asked mama you could come over." The boy said out of nowhere.

"Ask who to come over?" Kiba turned his head to see Sakura, she was smiling and looking down at them with her green eyes.

"Papa." The boy replied with excitement in his voice.

"I'm sure he has better things to do." She said while blushing, she had to turn her head to hide her embarrassment, only making it more obvious. But she was right about other things to do, of course they weren't entirely better.

"She's right Kaemon, I do have other things to do, but i'll see you later." He said while ruffling his sons hair.

"Okay papa!" Kaemon smiled and got up to hold hands with his mother, she flashed a smile and left without even saying goodbye. 'She must really hate me' He thought to himself, of course she had screamed it over and over in childbirth, but isn't that what most woman do?

Kiba sat at his mothers table surrounded by his family, and soon to be family. He was so close to them, but at the moment he was as far away from them as possible, or his mind was. He was just imagining his wedding night, it was easy to picture if you tried, it went something like this.

"Oh Kiba, that was the best I ever had!" Mai said, her hair messed and her silk white gown sliding off of her shoulder.

"Cool" He mumbled, lighting a smoke still naked in bed. She started to draw circles on his bare chest with her finger, looking at him with her grey eyes. Ignoring her Kiba closed his eyes and wiggled around to get comfy.

"Oh Kiba." Mai said in a sinister voice.

"Yeah?" He said opening his eyes in time to see her taking off her flesh and turning into a giant bug creature.

"Ahhh!" Kiba said, quickly trying to stand up, but instead tipping his chair back and falling with it.

"Kiba! What is wrong with you!" His mother, Tsume yelled. Looking around at his surroundings he let a sigh of relief escape his lips. He looked up to see everyone staring at him. Tsume, Mai, Hana, and Gino, Mai's father were all looking at him like he was a crazy person. And of course he could hear Akamaru and Kuromaru laughing in the backround.

"I think... I should go lie down." Kiba mumbled, while getting up and feeling his head for any bumps in the process.

"Okay! Have a good sleep honey." Mai basically squealed at him. He waved it off and headed to his room. Of course he still lived with his mother, but he'd get a place of his own soon enough, mainly to just be able to come home drunk. Then he'd come and eat at his mothers, it would be the perfect plan.

Once he was upstairs he flopped down onto his bed, twisting and turning to get comfortable.

"Araaah." He said once finally satisfied, lying on his back looking up at the ceiling with his his hands resembling something like the t-rex's.

"You shouldn't be so lazy, what'll happen when you can't even see your toes?" Akamaru said while walking in and hopping onto the bed with him.

"I'll use a mirror to see them." He chuckled, but the dog snorted, he had become so uptight ever since he heard about the wedding, but maybe that was just him not wanting Kiba to screw things up.

"Kiba?" An annoying voice called from the stairs. 'Oh please no' his eyes shot open. "Kiba we need to talk." The annoying voice belonging to Mai said. Not thinking Kiba ran to his window and opened it.

"What are you doing?" The dog asked looking at him.

"Tell her I'm invisible." He said, his head looking down from the window, this was going to hurt.

"Yeah, because she'll believe that." The dog said sarcastically.

"I'm coming in!" Mai said.

"Ahh crap!" Kiba said, he ran to his bed and then ran to the window jumping out in the knick of time. He fell to the ground below landing on his arm, ignoring the pain he ran off into the bushes, when he was sure he was out of sight he sat on the ground, nursing his arm, it wasn't like he was a cat, he didn't always land on his feet. He took a breath and closed his eyes, maybe running from her seemed childish, but she was so annoying!

"Kiba!" A voice boomed from his house. 'Crap! Forgot about ma...' He didn't bother moving, they would find him, and if he ran she'd be even angrier. Her multiple lovers had taught him that much, of course they were already out of the village by the time she found out they ran.

I should just make this a really weird oneshot, but I won't, because I'm set on releasing confusing stories in KibaSaku. And yes, this story had a really stupid name, but I have no imagination so this is all it gets.