Descent Chapter 30

Olivia walked slowly next to Alex, her gait matching the attorney's own as she took a sip of her coffee. They had made continuous, never ending loops through the streets surrounding the courthouse, the rush of the city keeping their minds off the wait. Olivia had offered to sit only once, after noticing Alex's slight limp becoming more prominent, but the attorney had insisted that they keep walking, her skin tight across her features. As they passed by the courthouse for the fifth time, Alex sighed, and pulled Olivia over toward the concrete steps, finally resigning. "You mind if we sit?" she asked, as if Olivia hadn't been trying to convince her to do so for the last hour.

Olivia shook her head, helping Alex ease down onto a step, the two of them sitting and watching passerby as they sipped the rest of their coffee, the sun moving slowly across the sky, marking the passage of time. Olivia's eyes landed on two older women walking down the street below them, hand in hand. She tossed her head towards them, then glanced over at Alex. "How long do you think they've been together?"

Alex's blue eyes scanned the crowd, softening as she glimpsed the two women. She smirked. "Since they burned their bras together in the 60s."

Olivia laughed. "They're sweet."

Alex glanced down at her. "You're kind of a romantic."

Olivia smiled, tossing her head. "One of us has to be."

Alex's gaze followed the two women, her tone light. "I can be romantic."

Olivia raised an eyebrow at her, but her lips curled into a crooked grin. "And you're kind of competitive, Ms. Cabot." Alex's tight features broke into a smile, sending warmth down Olivia's spine. She remembered the many times she had worked so hard for a smile when Alex first arrived as ADA, the tingling in her chest the first time she managed to melt the attorney's icy expression.

Alex's cell phone buzzed from her purse, and she sloshed her coffee in her hurry to retrieve it from her bottomless bag. Olivia reached out to hold her cup as Alex rustled, her brow creasing in frustration. Finally, she pulled the device out, her brow already furrowed as she answered. "Liz?" She nodded, and Olivia saw her visibly swallow, her shoulders tensing. "We're right outside. We'll be there in a second." Her hands were already shaking as she dropped her phone back into the bag and she glanced over at Olivia. "Jury's back. What time is it?"

"They've been out about four hours."

Alex seemed surprised. "Four hours?"

Olivia nodded. "Time flies when you're undoing your recovery on a fractured ankle."

Alex rolled her eyes, reaching her hand up for help. "It's not fractured," she said, wincing as the detective helped her to her feet.

Olivia reached down, picking up Alex's purse and handing it to her, but the blue eyes gave her pause. "What's wrong?"

The eyes seemed fixed on her, but the attorney finally found her voice. "What if it doesn't go our way?"

Olivia felt a sudden and distinct loss of words, having never experienced uncertainty from the always so self-assured attorney. Alex had always been in control when it came to a case. If anything, it was always Olivia who had done the second-guessing. She paused, pursing her lips, and gave Alex the best smile she could muster, masking her own uncertainty. "We don't worry about that right now," she replied, looking up at the courthouse. "Right now, we just put one foot in front of the other."

As the jury mingled back inside the courtroom, their faces mere masks of stone, Alex felt the floor sliding out from under her. The room seemed to fill with white noise as the Judge turned to look at the foreman, and Alex could barely understand the words that she'd heard so many times before. She felt Olivia take her hand, giving it a comforting squeeze, and she tried to turn her lips into a smile, but they stayed frozen in place as the Judge's voice finally penetrated.

"For the charge of murder in the second degree, what say you?"

"Guilty."

Alex's breath caught in her lungs, the lump in her throat growing larger with each guilty verdict delivered: all five counts. The room seemed to spin, and the white noise returned as the Judge spoke again, her words bleeding unintellibly through the attorney's mind. The bang of the gavel startled her, and she continued to sit, her body frozen as she stared straight ahead, unseeing, and unwilling to look over at the defense table.

Olivia had felt Alex's fingers tightening around her own with each guilty verdict that slipped from the foreman's lips. As if attached to a magnet, her own eyes slipped over the room toward the defense table, and she eyed Chandler's profile, which was stonily angled towards the jury. He sat rigidly in his seat, his face composed, as if the jury had been delivering someone's else's verdict. When the forewoman sat down, she saw him exhale slightly and turn his attention back to the Judge.

"Mr. Chandler, you will report hear in one week for sentencing for the crimes. Court is adjourned." The bang of the gavel didn't redirect her gaze, which was still locked on the back of the perpetrator's head. She almost felt Chandler turn in his chair before he did, his green eyes staring traight into her, as if they were glowing. She didn't see his lips curl in a smile, but felt he was grinning at her anyway. Reminding her, as if they shared their own private joke, that she was the one who got away. A shudder ripped through her, and she swallowed, the bailiff's arm reaching for Chandler's wrists the only thing breaking their contact.

The trembling inside of her hand caused her to turn her attention towards Alex, who stared ahead at some unknown point, her body beginning to shake. "Alex, sweetie," she whispered, leaning into her, rubbing small circles over the skin near her thumb. The attorney looked over at her, the blue eyes still seeming to process what had just happened. Alex gave her a pained smile, but Olivia could see the blonde grasping for emotions, unsure of what she should feel. She gave the hand another comforting squeeze, and noticed that the attorney's eyes were now focusing just next to Olivia, where Jessica and her partner sat.

Olivia turned towards the two of them, glancing down at Jessica, who sat beside her, head down, two delicate fingers wiping away several tears that had escaped from her eyes. Megan's arm was around her, her hand squeezing the blonde's shoulder. She gave Olivia a silent smile, and tipped her head down toward Jessica, placing a chaste kiss on her head.

Alex's inward smile seemed to come out in an anxious pursing of her lips, and she let her head fall gently towards Olivia's shoulder. People were already up, milling around, but the four women still sat silently, unwilling to move, to signal a shift back toward reality. Alex felt her Aunt's hands on her shoulders, giving her a comforting, patient squeeze. Alex turned, glancing over her shoulder and stretched her lips into a small smile, an action that felt increasingly difficult as her mind caught up with her surroundings. She stood, testing her legs as she leaned over and gave each of them a hug, feeling strangely empty. She'd seen families do this many times as she watched them from the prosecution table, and had assumed they had some sort of inexplicable happiness at the verdict. She now new that they simply didn't know what else to do. She unwrapped herself from her Uncle's embrace, and leaned over towards Jessica, gripping her hand and giving it a squeeze. She didn't bother to smile, and knew she didn't have to; the blankness in the older woman's eyes signaled that she wasn't entirely sure what she should be feeling, either. Alex's eye darted towards the front of the courtroom, where Liz stood, robotically stuffing papers back into her attache. "I'll be right back," she said to Olivia, sliding out of the aisle and walking slowly towards the front of the room.

Something had shifted in Liz at the sound of the Judge's gavel, and she briefly made eye contact with the defense attorney, who gave her a small, respectful nod. Her eyes flitted only briefly towards Chandler, who sat stoically as the balliff approached him. She exhaled and turned towards Jamie Worth's parents, who sat in their usual spot behind her, but she had trouble making eye contact with them.

"Ms. Donnelly." Mr. Worth was already rising from his seat, his eyes sad, his lips morphing into a shadow of a smile as he took Liz's hand in his own. Mrs. Worth nodded her head towards her, and her voice came out stronger than Liz expected. "You've helped us," she said.

Liz nodded, her words mechanical as she attempted to swallow the lump in her throat. "I'll be in touch about the sentencing date, in case you'd like to be here." She felt Mr. Worth's hand slip from her fingers as the couple turned, heads down, hands entertwined. Jamie Worth's roommate walked towards them from a back row, her eyes wet as she slipped into the mother's arms, both of their backs heaving with silent sobs. Mr. Worth kept walking, placing a hand over his own eyes as he moved briskly towards the door.

Liz had never felt such a desire to leave the courtroom, especially after winning a case. She made eye contact with Alex for a brief moment before turning her attention back to her attaché, piling her documents inside of it as the courtroom emptied. She hadn't realized she had paused until she felt Alex beside her. She gave the younger attorney a sideways glance, almost afraid to meet her eyes, a small, apologetic smile on her lips. "We won," she said, with a shake of her head, her slightly trembling hands stuffing another folder into her bag. Her eyes finally met Alex's, and she felt a deep sense of hollowness as she stared into the young face, the skin still smooth, but marred slightly with worry lines, a furrowed brow that hadn't been there two months earlier. A face that Liz had known for years, always innocent, always believing in justice, despite the sorrow that she encountered day in and day out. "I can't fix it," she mumbled helplessly, her lips upturning into a sad, resigned smile. "I can't fix it for you." A well of water built up in her hazel eyes and she pulled Alex towards her, encasing the taller woman into a deep embrace.

"Liz," she heard the younger blonde utter into her shoulder, but the voice trailed off, and they stood in silence for a moment, each lost in an embrace that had been a long time coming. Alex felt a deeper sense of loss rise in her, one she had failed to recognize until that moment, and she desperately wanted her mother. She felt a deep tightening in her chest, but her eyes stayed dry, and she pulled away from the older woman, and realized that, in some regard, Liz felt the same sadness.

"You going to be okay tonight?" Liz asked, her eyes wet. "Want to stay with me?"

Alex shook her head, then nodded, confusing herself as to what she really wanted. She paused, finding her voice. "Liv's staying. For now."

Liz nodded, taking some comfort in the knowledge that Alex wouldn't be alone, and turned her attention back to her documents, quickly wiping her eyes, but Alex's hand gripped her arm. She turned back towards her, and saw a new fear plastered across the blue eyes. "Alex?"

"What about sentencing? Th-they - the judge can't go light on him. Even if he's convicted for second-degree murder, Liz, he could - " she cut herself off, all too aware that she was rambling. "I – I – he wanted Olivia," she said, her chest rising, the fear expanding inside her. "He can't ever get out," she said, shaking her head vehemently.

Liz immediately placed a hand on Alex's shoulder, guiding her into the chair beside her. She pulled out her own chair and sat down, leaning over to the blonde. "Alex, by the time he gets out of prison – if he ever gets out – he'll be over 80 years old. He won't ever hurt you, or Olivia, or anyone outside of his cell ever again, I can promise you that." She peered into Alex's eyes, attempting to penetrate the fear that she saw there. Alex sat silently for a moment, and Liz could feel the younger attorney steeling herself. When she raised her head again, her eyes were blank but clear, her features poised.

"You can expect me in your office tomorrow morning," she said. "I want to talk reassignment."

Liz gave her a small smile, and patted her knee. "Alex, take it easy. Let's do lunch on Friday. Whatever you decide, I'm fully behind you."

Alex nodded, and rose from her chair, glancing down at her boss as she took a deep breath. "You coming?"

Liz looked up at her, then gazed around the nearly empty courtroom. "You go ahead," she said. "I'm going to find Bill and Helen. See if I can take partake in their Scotch collection later tonight." She gave Alex a light, but reassuring smile and nodded her head toward the door. "Olivia's waiting for you."

Alex felt a sense of relief at finding Olivia waiting for her beside the courtroom door, her arms crossed over her chest, a look that the attorney had seen her adopt many a time after a verdict: her gaze a mixture of thoughtfulness and remorse. She raised her head as Alex walked towards her.

"Do you need a moment?" Olivia asked, her brown eyes grazing over the pale face as they exited the room, the hallway outside littered with a few stragglers.

Alex nodded, but her hand reached out and gripped Olivia's. "Come with me?"

The two walked a few yards down the hallway, and Alex led them into an empty room, closing the door gently behind her. She drifted towards a window, crossing her arms over her chest as she stared out at the street below her, the people milling in and out, each dealing with their own timely tragedies, some big, some small.

"I was so sure I would feel the same after the verdict."

"Do you?"

Alex kept her gaze in front of her. "I feel a little less... alone? I don't know, it just feels so incredibly small." She shook her head, continued to stare out of the window, heaved a small sigh. "I don't want to think about how I feel... I'm just here. We're just here." Her eye caught a young couple on the street, the man harried, talking on his phone, the woman with a hand entwined in his arm, looking wistfully at the buildings around her. She felt a story rising in her chest, some cynical explanation to share with Olivia, their familiar game bringing her a brief pang of joy that seemed to force the breath from her lungs. She felt Olivia's presence settle behind her, and she knew the detective would give her ample space and time, and would come when she was needed. Alex felt a sudden weight lift from her, felt the breath rushing back into her lungs, into every part of her body, and she held her arms tighter around her chest. She didn't hear her own sob, didn't register its sound until she felt Olivia's hands on her back, sliding around her shoulders. She let her head hang for a moment before turning into the arms, burying her head into the detective's shoulder, her cries a mixture of relief, exhaustion, and sadness. She felt a flash of heaviness, of that familiar, clawing weight on her shoulders as if wanted to relieve herself from Olivia's touch, but instead she forced herself to relax into it, inhaling the scent she had become so familiar with, one that signaled safety.

Olivia felt her own eyes watering over as she ran her hands across Alex's back, not attempting to calm the sobs that the blonde heaved into her shoulder, but instead offering her a place of repose, where she could release whatever it was that caused her anguish. She pressed a kiss into the blonde hair, tightening her embrace. Olivia felt her suddenly pull away, a look of urgency in her eyes. "I – I can't promise anything," she said. "I really want you around. I need you."

Olivia pressed a kiss over the attorney's brow. "None of us is in the business of making promises," she said. She moved her lips to Alex's, pressing against them gently, intimately. "Let's just take it one kiss at a time."

Alex smiled, leaning her forehead into Olivia's. "What do we do now?" she asked, her eyes hopeful.

"Well, we can go home. Eat dinner. You never did get a chance to order that Chinese food last night." She felt Alex dip her head, felt the workings of a smile. "We can open up the windows. Listen to the city. We don't have to do anything." She placed a kiss on the crown of the blonde head. "We'll take our time."

Alex turned, and placed her lips delicately on Olivia's, returning the kiss. "Thank you." The words were small, simple, but the emotion behind them seemed immensely overpowering, and the attorney felt a familiar lump in her throat.

Olivia placed her hands along Alex's jaw. "Alex, I meant what I said. I'm not going anywhere. I... I just love you," she said simply, smiling at her own loss of words. "I'm here for no reason other than that."

Alex dipped her head, and leaned it against the brunette's chest. "You're such a romantic."

Olivia laughed as she felt Alex smile against her chest. "One of us has to be."

Alex laughed, burying her head in the detective's shoulder. Her words were a whisper, but Olivia heard them loud and clear. "I love you, too."

The End.

We've come to the end of the line. Plus, I like to round number of 30 chapters. If people are interested, I would love to continue this story-verse, and follow this narrative further in another piece. Let me know what you think.

Thank you so much for all of the wonderful reviews and encouragement - it makes me want to keep writing, and that's a great feeling. :)