Author's Notes:

Hello and welcome to my first ever public fan fiction! As a long-time Invader Zim fan, I hope I can provide you with a decent story. This tale will contain bits of silliness, a bit of nightmare fuel and a bit of friendship. No swearing or romance or character time skip. It will feature some minor original characters, if you don't mind. Don't worry, I won't pay too much attention to them. This is the story of what happens when Zim and nature don't quite get along. Please feel free to tell me what you think.

Disclaimer:

Invader Zim and associated characters are owned by Jhonen Vasquez. This is fan fiction.

–

The strange green house sat in middle of the cul-de-sac one dry, clear morning. Zim was in his underground area preparing his disguise for the day. He would be attending skool today, as he often did, in order to keep up his appearance as a normal human earth boy. Blue contacts were glued to his eyes and a black cow-lick wig was propped onto his head. He stored some light gear into his Pak before it attached itself to his back. He stepped on a circular platform which shot up into the ground floor of his base. He popped out of a trash can and headed out to the main room to meet with Gir, who was on the floor inches away from the television screen.

Gir's head turned to Zim and smiled, "So, what are you gonna do today, Master?

"The same thing I do every day, Gir..." he raised his fist above his gigantic head "TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD" to which Gir gave a blank look. "So, what are today's conditions?" Zim turned a nob to switch to a news channel.

"-and that's why you shouldn't smother cats in peanut butter" and reporter woman said cheerfully.

"Ahaha. Thanks, Tina. Later, we have an exclusive interview with Professor Membrane about the wonders of chemically-enhanced food products. But first, the weather!" A Video introduction came up with a voice-over. -And now, meteorologist Sonny Skye with your weather forecast.-

"These humans and their meat..." Zim said with a tone of disgust. A man in a suit and tie appeared with a wide smile and obnoxiously large hair in front of a colorful map.

"Hey, there folks. Looks like we're going to have clear skies all throughout the day today, so enjoy it while it lasts. Temperatures will be-"

"Excellent. I have a good feeling about today, Gir." Zim said, pleased as he headed to the front door. "I'm off to skool, Gir. Don't break anything while I'm gone"

"Piggy wants to come, too" Gir appeared behind Zim holding up a squeaky rubber pig toy. Zim glanced back and jumped at the sudden appearance. He looked at the little robot's pleading expression and decided to not raise his voice. He was in a good mood today.

"Maybe another time." he gently moved the pig down closer to Gir. "You go watch the Earth news program and learn of current events. I'll return this afternoon" and with that, he walked out the door.

Gir sat down on the couch with his pig friend and looked at the television to do what his master instructed.

"A new flaw in the government's security was discovered the other day. Officials believe this could lead to the downfall of the economy and society as we know it if it fell into the wrong hands-."

"Boring!" sang Gir as he changed the channel to cartoons.

–

It was after lunch in Ms. Bitters' class. The students had sat down in their assigned seats and prepared for their History. "Today we're going to learn about Henry the 8th." The vulture-like old woman began. "He was most known for having 6 wives throughout his time as king of England. Some of them he divorced, others he CHOPPED OFF THEIR HEADS!" She went on to depict gruesome images of the women's executions. Most of the students took it in with horror and were becoming frightened, wide-eyes and cringing in their seats. "And if the executioner was off by a bit, he would chop RIGHT INTO THEIR SKULLS. Their brains would seep out onto the floor in a horrible mess." A student in back hurled into a brown paper bag. "...And sometimes the blade wasn't sharp enough to cut through in one swing. So he would have to CHOP CHOP CHOP away at the victim as they lay tied and helpless, screaming in agony! Blood everywhere!" Ms. Bitters was then interrupted by a sudden clap of thunder. The students screamed by the sudden noise.

"What's this?" Zim felt a wave of horror move across him. Wide-eyed, he gazed at the droplets accumulating on the window across the room, past Dib, who was looking at Zim with curiosity. "No, it can't be! The weather-human did not say anything about rain." In typical dramatic fashion, Zim raised his fists to the air from his desk. "Curse you, meaty-forecast-slave! Why would you lie to Zim?" He noticed the class staring at his behavior.

"Pshh. The weatherman's wrong all the time" said the purple-haired Zita from behind Zim, "It's nothing new." At that point, Zim slunk into his chair, eyes narrowed, angry at this turn of events.

Ms. Bitters tapped a ruler on her desk to get the attention of her class back. "If you don't mind, we will continue with our horrible lesson. Some of us would like to get paid!" While the change in weather was an inconvenience to the students, it was no cause for a scene. It was no big deal at all to anyone. Except for Zim, who had left his home unprepared. He would usually cover himself in paste to become water-resistant for rainy days. He normally would not bother for clear skies.

Still keeping his attention to the wet window, Zim thought to himself, trying to come up with a strategy of avoiding a long and painful journey home. All while leaving Dib unsuspecting of his weakness. Zim knew well that he couldn't let him find out, lest Dib exploit it to its full-extent. Dib, meanwhile, had already realized Zim's plight and delighted in it. A wide grin came across his face. He turned to his own thoughts, planning how he could torture the alien today once skool was out. He could not wait. He was so giddy that he snickered to himself. A paperclip hit his head.

"Dib! What did I tell you about smiling? Now pay attention!" Ms. Bitters continued "... and so the moral of this story is to NEVER GET MARRIED!"