LaylaBinx this is all your fault! This is because you write Hurt!Mike so well.

I can't believe I'm doing this... and to one of my favorite songs!

Song is The End Where I Begin by the Script. Lyrics in italics

I don't know what this is, or what it will become in the future.

The End Where I Begin

Sometimes tears say all there is to say
Sometimes your first scars won't ever fade away
Tried to break my heart
Well it's broke
Tried to hang me high
Well I'm choked
Wanted rain on me
Well I'm soaked
Soaked to the skin

Mike stood on the sidewalk, staring aimlessly up at the clouds. Despite their color and the fact that the rain was already starting to fall, he found them oddly beautiful. There wasn't much that he found beautiful anymore. Sure he had told Rachel that she was pretty, but it was more of a factual statement than a legitimate compliment. He missed feeling like a whole person, like he did when he had actual friends, as terrible as they had ended up being. He missed Trevor and Jenny. He missed being able to call Trevor about everything and nothing, he missed Jenny stopping by and nagging him to eat right. It depressed him, knowing that the only person left that cared at all was his grandmother, and she wouldn't be around for ever. The thought made his heart ache.

As the sky opened and rain fell from the clouds in a torrent, Mike stayed still on the sidewalk, ignoring the people pushing past him to take cover. His suit was ruined, but Mike didn't care. He ran his hand through his short hair, water running down his face in rivulets. He took a deep breath but it did nothing to help his mood. He was tired, so tired of always being pulled together.

It's the end where I begin
It's the end where I begin

Sometimes, all Mike wanted to do was let go, stop pretending to be the person everyone could always go to to fix their problems. Mike had plenty of those on his own, not that anyone asked him about them. Mike scowled, displaying his mood to the clouds above. No, people just come to him and complained about what was wrong, then got angry if he couldn't fix it. Trevor and all his problems with dealing, Jenny and her issues with Trevor. It grew until Mike wasn't sure he could handle it anymore. He was running on nearly empty.

Sometimes we don't learn from our mistakes
Sometimes we've no choice but to walk away, away
Tried to break my heart
Well it's broke
Tried to hang me high
Well I'm choked
Wanted rain on me
Well I'm soaked
Soaked to the skin

He knew that the worst thing he had ever done was getting kicked out of college. It was his mistake, no one else's. He never blamed Trevor for it, his ex-friend never forced him to do it. He accepted the fact, that it meant he would never be someone his grandmother could truly be proud of. He knew that, deep down, she was disappointed that he didn't work as hard as he could, or that he let himself be led into a less honorable life style. She would never say anything, but then, neither would Mike. It was enough that he did everything he could for her, after all that she did for him.

It's the end where I begin
It's the end where I begin

The days that really hurt were days like today, when the overwhelming loneliness threatened to consume him. When the guilt at disappointing his grandmother, at not living up to anyone's expectations ate away at him. When all he really wanted was for someone to talk to. Someone that wouldn't need his help, or stare at him with hints of sadness or disappointment in their eyes.

Now I'm alive
and my ghosts are gone
I've shed all the pain
I've been holding on
The cure for a heart
Is to move along, is to move along
So move along

He tried to start over. He started working the job that had been his dream at one point, but no longer seemed to be what he wanted. That was Mike's problem, really, he couldn't decide what it was that he wanted. All Mike knew he wanted now, was to stop feeling so alone.

What don't kill a heart
Only makes it strong

Mike had read once, what doesn't kill you only makes you strong, but that was his least favorite saying ever. He hated it with everything he was. It didn't make you stronger, it make you break that much harder and made the pieces left over smaller and harder to put back together. Mike wasn't sure how many more times he could hold it in.

It's the End where I
End where I
End where I begin

His face slowly turned from embracing the rain to staring down at the concrete sidewalk, the rain blurring his vision. There really wasn't anything to see, not anymore.

Sometimes we don't learn from our mistakes
Sometimes we've no choice but to walk away, away

Mike took another shaky breath, before forcing his feet to move, one in front of the other. There wasn't anything else he could do now, but go back to his ratty little apartment, and once again try to will himself into pretending again. He had to smile, work hard, and pretend that everyday wasn't a complete trial. Because, that was all he really knew how to do anymore.