Hey guys! Lemonz2cookiez here! Who would've thought my next fic would one about the manuals? By the way, if the translation is off, blame google translate. I NO OWN! I wish I owned husky named Vodka. That would be badass. But anyway, ENJOY!

~oO0Oo~

It was a normal enough night. I was on the computer playing a very manly game… Okay… Hetalia dress-up… When a very loud voice filled my earbuds.

"HELLO VISTOR! ARE YOU A HETALIA FAN? CLICK HERE!"

I yelped and yanked out my earbuds. I sat there for a while, just staring at the brightly colored add.

My cursor hovered over the add for a few seconds. It won't to just look… Will it? Behind me my husky let out a pitiful howl.

Let the record show that the only other thing I clicked on that night was the logout button on my computer. Then I ate a salad and jogged on my treadmill for a half hour… Okay… I watched Grey's Anatomy re-runs and ate a pint of Cherry Garcia Ben & Jerry's. Then I joined my dog on my bed and fell into the clutches of drowsiness.

~oO0Oo~

I woke abruptly to the doorbell being rung. Repeatedly.

" Vodka! Get the door…" I mumbled sleepily. At that moment my 80 pound Siberian husky decided to lay across my chest, snoring. Very, very loudly.

"OKAY! I'M UP! GET OFF!" Was all I could manage to choke out before said husky leapt off of my chest, obviously very proud.

" Okay, I'm coming, youСын тигра зуб доллар." (Son of a bucktooth tiger)

I opened the door to the… scariest thing I think I've ever seen. A Tamaki Suoh look-alike.

"Can I help you?"

"Hello Princess. Are You Alexis Trynest?" OH. MY. GAWD. This guy must get just mobbed in the streets. He sounds like Vic Mognona!

"W-who wants to know?"

"Well, I do."

"Mmhmm…" I attempted to read the side of his van with bleary eyes. Flying Mint Bunny Corp.? …The fuck?

" Will you sign for this?"

" Huh? OH! Yeah, sure." I muttered as I jotted down my name on the contract-thingy.

'Tamaki' wheeled a rather human sized crate into my house, handed me a rather thick book, and took off toward his van. I sighed and glanced at the cover of the book. No. NO! They aren't real! How could they…?

On the cover of the book, in bold lettering sat the words ALFRED F. JONES: A USER GUIDE AND MANUAL.

I stood there in shock for a few moments until Vodka whimpered.

" You're right vodka. We should try to wake him up." And I knew how. Hamburgers.

~oO0Oo~

About a half hour later, I sauntered in confidently holding the immense pile of burgers I had managed to cook. That was when a voice floated out of the crate.

" Whoa man, FOOD? I'm so there!"

I grimaced as bits of crate flew in all directions of the living room as he burst- yes burst- out of the crate. He then started shoving burgers down his throat. Vodka growled, voicing my discomfort.

"Водка, быть добрым."( Vodka, be kind) The growling ceased.

Alfred froze, burger in mouth. It would have been comical if it wasn't for the look of sheer terror.

" D-dude… Are you okay? Alfred?" I instantly became worried. He said nothing, he just stared at me. " M-Mr. Hero?"

" Oh yeah! I'm Fine! I just thought you were Russia for a minute!" He shuddered involuntarily. The goofy grin then returned to his face as he continued eating his massive amount if burgers "You wouldn't believe the trip over here! I was all… Munch, Munch… Me… munch, munch… Hero… munch, munch … Iggy… munch, munch … and I saved us all!"

" I'm sure you did…" I rolled my eyes. " Anyways, My name is Alexis. Alex or Lexi is fine too."

" Hey… Alex?"

" What is it, Al?"

" When I lived with other people, they made me do… things… Are you going to make me do things too?"

I looked into his eyes lightly swimming with tears. " Of course not." Was my simple answer. " Do you want to watch cartoons?"

" DUH!"

I placed the superman disk in the DVD player. Every time Superman struck a pose, so did Alfred. This may not be so bad…

~oO0Oo~

That night I was snuggled in bed. My dog curled around my feet. I was having a beautiful dream about flying until I was awoken by a light shaking.

" Alex… Psst, Alex!"

I rolled to face the source of the noise. " What is it Al?"

" I had a scary dream about ghosts eating you, s-so I decided that I- the Hero- should come and protect you from any ghosts. Can I sleep in here?"

I sighed and gestured for him to climb under the covers. He uttered a thank you and snuggled up to me immediately. I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until I was awoken by the incessant ringing of a doorbell.

~oO0Oo~

OOH! CLFFHANGER! Yeah I'm kind of writing this as I go along… I don't own the manuals. Lollidictator does. So see ya next chapter! I'm making a resolution to update every weekend. Wish me luck!

l2c