A/N: Hi everyone, and welcome back to my story. I have something important to say. It'll blow you away...

I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING!

...Actually, that's not that mind blowing. xD Anyway, forgive me! SCHOOL KILLS TIME (though I do enjoy it, sometimes), and I've just been so contemplative and busy. But atleast I've taken time to FINALLY upload! Though this chapter's MUCH shorter than the others. I'm so sorry. It's just another one of those to get the CLIMAX and good part going. :D I hope you'll like it. I actually surpassed my review expectation, though I started getting none after a while (you guys are probably just waiting for another chapter). Here you are, then!

Disclaimer: I don't own Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice, but I do own this story and the OC(s).

Enjoy!~

Note: Uh...forgive me if you get lost a bit. I added Johnny Cash's song, "You Are My Sunshine", (I DON'T OWN IT!), and...bleh. Anyway, enjoy!

The Person I Was

Chapter Eleven: Apathetic, Gray Sunshine

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray…"

Music. There was this shifting sound; lyrical words that filled the atmosphere with beautiful, light-heartedness. Someone was singing. What a magical voice…

"You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away…"

Where? Where was it coming from?

Eyes open, with no hesitance to find the source of noise.

Where? Where was the music? It suddenly stopped. The whole world stopped.

And then, something is realized. Something unbelievable.

I'm alive?

She is alive.

Regina Uehara is alive.

I am alive.

"Alive…" Words slipped out of my mouth, a connection of wispy wind that blows out. Why? Why am I alive? Dead. I'm supposed to be dead. I flung myself out the window, and the crack that followed was superficially heard, no question about how blunt. But I was breathing, I heard music…

That's right. There was music…

Where was it? Such a soothing, beautiful collection of sound...

And then, as if on cue, it started again; an English song well understood.

"The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping…I dreamed I held you in my arms."

"But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken…so I hung my head, and I cried."

Something inside me flared, and quietly died down the instant ignited. I recalled the reason why I threw myself out the window. "Wonderland," I whispered, and blinked slowly. I wanted to return. But now, that feeling was shallow; it was like a flame distanced upon a melting candle. My surroundings were becoming clearer, and I made no move to budge. I was in a white room, with a beeping machine, and the sounds of breaths being sucked in rhythm. A bed was near the absurdly noisy machine, and a window allowed cool air into the pure room; my room.

"Why…" My voice died, and I found myself unable to finish my train of thought. The feel of the ground underneath me was smooth, and I noticed I was sitting up on the marble. I glanced up at the bed, and froze with recognition.

The person in bed…was me.

She—I was the one breathing rhythmically, the beeps of the machine filling in the rests. It was strange, really, to see one's self lying so still, unlike a reflection in a mirror; but strangely, I welcomed the sight, as if somewhere, I knew it would lead to this. That was the true odd factor. The music from earlier began to die down, and I heard the verses ringing.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray."

"You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away…"

I felt tears well up in my eyes dully. I looked so peaceful, yet not, at the same time. It was like I was fighting a battle inside that would never end. And I was, in my sleeping form, and presumably ghostly form. I abruptly stood up, reaching the bedside and extending a hand to my counterpart. I was able to walk; was that supposed to be surprising as well? All my feelings were so distant...

The door of my room suddenly flung open, revealing a tall man in a white coat and surgeon mask. I retracted my hand, watching him stand straight. His black hair was greased over, and eye bags were evident as he made his way over to my bed, movement somewhat languid. Was he the doctor looking after me? But what happened…?

A flurry of footfalls reached my hearing range, and another person came into the room. A nurse with similar features to the doctor came to his side with a silver cart filled with medical supplies.

"Doctor Smith, I've brought supplies," the nurse stated to the medical professional, and he simply nodded after a stiff pause.

"Good work, Dahlia."

"Doctor, is she making any progress in awakening?" 'Dahlia' inquired steadily, eyes focusing on my sleeping form. I furrowed my eyebrows in scrutiny, and my expression fell. What was going on? I was dead, yet alive. My mind was scrambled; was I unable to cross the line? They couldn't see me at all.

"No, she hasn't. And I can't seem to activate anything either," 'Doctor Smith' answered, his eyes flashing with something like remorse. "That fall from the fourth story really did a major impact on her, but she miraculously survived such a devastating fall." He pulled the surgeon mask off, and rubbed his temples. "Dahlia, I can truthfully say…I don't know what to do. She—" He cut himself off, and closed his eyes with a sigh.

"Doctor…" Dahlia looked genuinely worried and pained, and came closer to me. I watched invisibly as she reached out a hand to take mine. I couldn't feel it, however, and this left me, in my state of mind, cold. But the next topic she brought up stunned me into a deeper silence. "Doctor, her condition resembles that of Alice Liddell, does it not?"

"It questionably does, yes."

I froze, the words all sinking in.

Alice?

What…

Moments further, my feet were pounding across the floor, my blue eyes darting in frenzy. I had dashed out the door, my concentration focused on one thought. Alice…

Where is she? What room?

I was going to find her. I had to find her. The goal was so imbued into my mind, I ignored the throbbing pain in my chest and legs.

Promptly, I skidded to a halt, realizing my predicament and taking in the area. I had reached a room full of dull chairs, patients and others filling them. Receptionist desks, doctors, and nurses... This was waiting room. But where was she? Where was Alice?

This wasn't where I needed to be. I left the room hurriedly, not bothering to glance back. If Alice was in the same condition as me…she must've been in her room; somewhere, she was here. She was here.

I had to find her.

And I had to find her fast.

It must've been hours before I roughly collapsed, not from fatigue, but from the sheer pressure of the situation. Surprisingly, I wasn't tired at all, but in place of that was deep chagrin that clawed at my body. Inside and out, I was distraught. I couldn't find her. I hadn't even found her, not a slight clue, even after rushing into room after room in this humongous hospital.

What was I going to do?

Already, tears were coursing down my freezing cheeks, and my vision bleared as I pulled myself to rest against a wall. I didn't know where I was. I was lost.

I don't know where she is.

What do I do?

What do I do?

"What do I do…?" I repeated out loud, cradling my head in my hands. "I can't find her…" I was bound to crack even more.

And I can't find myself.

What has happened to me?

I no longer felt human. Was I? I was on the borderline of death, and yet, here I was, feeling life seep through my frame. I shouldn't have gone to Wonderland. "Look what's happened to me!" I shout, my voice strangled from my quiet sobs. There was no one in the darkening hall; and if there was, they wouldn't be able to see me…see my utter despair. "Look at me…what's happened to me?" The silence that answers me is a bitter, heavy blanket, pinning me down within its confinements.

The images of Wonderland…my friends fill my mind's eye. Were they real? Were they fake? The pain scrunched up inside my heart, and I swallowed hard. They were a dream. But dreams weren't so real. And now I was stuck in a state where I was either dead or alive. Which was it? I missed them so much, and all the searing pain of losing them came back.

And then there was Alice. The friend I'd lost years ago. The person I spent numerous days with in childhood. The one who achieved more with her age than I did. She was older, she was more mature, she…

She was…

Unfound.

And I was too.

I uncurled from my closed up position, unruly strands of hair clinging to my face, as if it was their last resort. I used to be caged, like a bird unable to fly. With Wonderland, I found a new resolve, and became that free soul in childhood. But where was she? Where was Alice, and where was the person I became?

I closed my eyes, ready to give in to this pain; it was riddling my demise. I was near it, but suddenly, a sound fueled my ears. Soft, melodic notes that grew louder with each second. When decipherable, my eyes snapped open immediately. It was the musical song that broke my silence.

"In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me; when I awake, my poor heart pains."

Before I knew it, I was up off the dusty floor, and my feet were mesmerized into motion. That song…where was it coming from? I was so entranced, and my footsteps died within the sound.

"So when you come back and make me happy, I'll forgive you, dear, I'll take all the blame."

Where was the voice coming from? It sounded so familiar, yet so different, it was vividly turbulent.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray."

The emotion…the voice singing was female. It was exquisite…but where was she? Where was this person?

"You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away."

Here!

I halted in the doorway of an open room, and gazed inside, my heart pounding furiously inside. The first thing I laid my eyes on was a person sitting by a colorful bed, trembling sadly. Another person was asleep in bed, and I could distinctively hear the beeping of a monitor, like in my room. My eyes widened greatly, to the point where I was sure they'd pop out when I found out whom was the person occupying the bed.

Alice.

I'd found her.

But she looked so different. So peaceful, but so…deathly. Why? When I stepped into the room to reach her, the trembling figure stopped, and turned to face me, giving me a clear view of their face. A woman with stunning turquoise eyes, like Alice's, a pale complexion, and short, silky brown hair stared at me, tears falling down her cheeks.

I found myself drowning in the situation, and realized who this person was. I hadn't seen her in so long, I almost forgot; but I was sure it was her.

That person...

Edith Liddell.

End A/N: Wow...cliffhanger, ha... Sorry about that, this chapter wasn't actually what I expected, but it's still an update! I'm sleepy, forgive me for mistakes. Thanks to all the reviewers, and I'll be sure to update soon (MAYBE!). Bye everyone, hope you liked it. :)

Thanks for reviewing, and happy reading!~