All I want for Christmas…

„You coming, Laura?" Albert asked with Carrie next to him from the doorstep. Both were dressed warm so they could build a snowman in the front yard before it would get dark - which happened early at this time of the year.

"No thanks", Laura replied quietly before looking down at her school papers again, realizing that she didn't have the slightest clue of what she just has read.

"Close the door, Albert!" Charles cried from the barn where he chopped wood so he wouldn't have to do that over Christmas.

Albert just shrugged, "Come Carrie" and they slipped out of the house to enjoy the snow – even if they would have liked Laura to come with them.

Laura wasn't exactly in the Christmas spirit – at least not as much she had been all the years before. But how could she be? How could she be in the Christmas spirit when the one thing she wished more for than she had ever wished for anything, was the one thing she would never get? As she felt that her eyes were getting wet, Laura cleared her throat and tried to pull herself together while packing her stuff away.

Caroline, who had watched her daughter becoming sadder and more silent as nearer as Christmas came, couldn't take this view anymore. As she laid the wool down the table with whom she was making a shawl for little Grace, she stood up to get herself some hot coffee.

"Are you alright, Laura?"

"Yeah Ma"

"Hm" Caroline came back from the kitchen, nipping at the hot liquid - not wanting to push her daughter. She knew her Laura too well; if she wished to talk, she would come. And besides; she already guessed what was troubling Laura; Almanzo. Ever since the young man had moved to Walnut Grove it had always something to do with him - whether Laura was the luckiest girl in the world or crying on her bed. And as much as she hated to see her daughter this way, she somehow just couldn't bring herself to tell Laura that she just better forgot someone that older than her. Caroline didn't know why, but something inside her told her, that this story wasn't over yet.

"Ma?"

Caroline smiled sympathetically at her daughter, "Yes, dear?"

"Would you mind... if I go outside for a while?"

"Go outside?"

"Yeah, just a little walk – I think I could use the fresh air." Laura forced a smile to show her mother that there wasn't anything behind it.

"I don't know Laura... Why don't you just go with Albert and Carrie, they are –"

"No, it's alright... I just... I just wanted to be for myself for a little while before Christmas Eve..." With her head hanging, Laura stood up, bringing her school stuff back to her loft.

Caroline sighed. "Alright, if it's alright with your pa then you can go, but only for one hour and you'll turn as soon as the snow falls heavier!"

Laura's faced beamed for the first time this day with joy "Thanks Ma!" as she rushed to her mother to give her a enthusiastic kiss on the cheek.

As soon as Laura has dressed herself warm enough for this cold weather and was wrapped in her thick shawl, she ran outside to ask her father for permission and then left the little house towards town.

She inhaled the cold fresh air and felt how it filled her inside. Somehow it was a good feeling - a little bit as if she was an old house, and someone finally opened the windows to let the air float in after a hundred years.

Why had life suddenly became so complicated? Why couldn't she have just stayed Half-Pint for the rest of her life? Why did Manly even move to Walnut Grove? – No, Laura crossed that thought. She couldn't even imagine how life would be without him.

It was almost ridiculous how important he had become to her life in such a short time-span.

A good day was a day, where she would be able to talk to him for a few moments before the school bell rang and he would flash her one of his crooked smiles. Laura felt warm inside at that thought and smiled lightly.

Bad days were days like today; she hadn't seen him for nearly a whole week because Mr. Miller had given Almanzo free for the holidays. She hadn't even been able to wish him a Merry Christmas! But worse was that Laura wasn't able to celebrate Christmas with him and she knew that she never would be... Soon someone else would take this place in his heart where she wanted to be. And who knew; maybe Almanzo celebrated already next Christmas with some beautiful girl in his arms...

A tear escaped Laura's eye at that thought, but she didn't bother to wipe it away – soon the snowflakes would do that for her.

"So that is what love is..." muttered Laura to herself. Why does everybody talks about it like it would be the most wonderful thing in the world when all it did was hurting? Every night, when she closed her eyes - before drifting off to sleep - she would almost hear his laughter she had heard that day a few months ago as Almanzo had ran to her knowing that Barnum was finally recovered. She could feel his arms around her once again, feel his lips on her forehead and smell his scent. Why couldn't she just have stayed in his arms for the rest of her life?

Laura stopped and gasped as she saw the first roof of the town. She must have completely lost the track of time! Her parents would be angry with her for being out in this weather longer than she was allowed to!

She turned quickly and began to run towards the direction she came. Laura cursed herself. Have the clouds already been that dark or was she imagining things? The snow that covered the road was just a few inches high, but Laura lived long enough in the Prairie to know how fast that could change when the snow fell as heavy as it did now.

Laura hadn't run two hundred metres as she suddenly tripped over a root and fell into the snow. She cried at the pain in her right leg and pulled it to her chest to touch the ankle with her hand. A second cry left her mouth as she tried to get up. What was this - Some kind of cruel joke? Tears now streamed down her face and Laura didn't really know why. It wasn't so much the pain in her leg as the pain in her heart and her desperation and anger.

Once again she cursed herself. She couldn't stand up alone and it would take some time until Pa would find her here. "Great" she muttered to herself, "now I'll be sick at Christmas too!"

She tried to get up one last time, but it was no use. She must have twisted her ankle bad. She crouched herself to keep her warm and buried her head between her knees while sobbing. That just wasn't fair! Not only couldn't the man she loved see anything in her but a little girl, but now her parents would be mad with her at Christmas and she would have a bad cold that would ruin the rest of her Christmas Spirit!

The tears just wouldn't stop but Laura didn't mind. Crying had been a big deal of her life since the day she had fallen in love with Almanzo Wilder and accidently called him Manly instead of Manny.

Almanzo rubbed his hands together to keep them warm and scolded himself for not putting the gloves on. If he would have known that finding that darn map would be such an impossible mission he wouldn't have gone without them! Typically his sister, Eliza Jane couldn't just leave holiday being holiday and had travelled this morning to the Henderson farm to give something to one of her students who had been sick. When she had arrived at home she'd discovered that one of her important maps must have fallen out of the buckboard and since he didn't want his sister to go out in this cold he had figured he had to go himself. And now there he was – one day before Christmas – searching for a map that could be everywhere under the snow and Lord knows he had better things to do!

Just as the blond man decided that he would return home if he wouldn't find that thing in the next few minutes, he saw something dark a few hundred metres down the road. He narrowed his eyes to have a better view through the snow but he couldn't figure out what it was. As Almanzo went further along the road, he finally understood that this was a person lying in the snow. Something must have happened to her! He rushed over the huddled figure, the view still too unclear to understand that this was Laura who was hurt.

"Are you alright?" Laura heard from somewhere far. Was she already imagining things? That wasn't the voice of her pa. This was a voice she knew very well – the voice she loved more than anything – Almanzo's voice! But that just couldn't be!

As Almanzo had reached the figure he bent down and lightly touched the shoulder. "Hey, are you alright?"

Slowly Laura lifted her head. A small smile came to her face as she saw him, "Manly!"

"Beth?" Almanzo now knelt completely down to the snow next to her, not taking the hand away from her shoulders. With her hair down and with the bad view he hadn't recognized her until he had seen her face.

"Beth, what happened? Are you hurt? What happened?" he rushed to ask, now full of anxiety that something terrible had happened to his Beth. His eyes travelled all over her body and face to make out if there was a visibly injury somewhere.

"Oh Manly!" She had never been happier to see him! So happy that she didn't care anymore if he would read something into it as she threw herself against his chest and immediately felt how he protectively wrapped his arms around her and brought her closer.

"It's alright, Beth. I'm here now. What happened?" he asked now in a slower and gentle voice, but still full of concern.

"I know", Laura said while trying to stop the sobbing, "I just... I just thought I would have to wait hours until my pa would find me and...and..."

"Shhh. It's alright" he tried to console her while rubbing her back to keep her warm.

"... I just didn't want Christmas to be that way...my parents being mad at me and me having the ankle hurt and...and everything has gone wrong!"

Almanzo lightened his grasp to see her in the eyes, "What has gone wrong?"

A small blush crept to Laura's cheeks as she bent her head down. "Uh...nothing..."

Almanzo smiled and lifted her head so he could wipe the tears away with his thumb. "You sprained your ankle bad, huh?"

Laura felt like she would drown into the blue of his eyes and her heart made a skip at his gentle touch before beating as twice as fast. She was afraid he could hear her heart pounding that loud.

"I think so." She looked down at her black boot which covered her hurt leg.

"Does it hurt much? Do you think you could stand up, if you lean against me?"

Just the thought of being so close to him for the whole walk to the little house on Plum Creek made her stomach flip and all she could do was nodding lightly, while Almanzo smiled at her encouraging.

Just at that moment she became aware of how close she was to him and that he still had his strong arms around her and suddenly felt so embarrassed about their position that Laura tried to stand up as fast as she could.

But just as her right foot touched the ground she screamed in pain and would once again have fallen into the snow if there wouldn't have been Almanzo this time, who caught her up in his arms.

"Oh no Beth, I don't think so" was all he said before lifting her up in his arms to carry her.

Surprised, Laura threw her arms without thinking around his neck so she wouldn't fall down, before starting to rebel against his hold.

"Almanzo, really - I can go myself!"

"Yeah, that I saw", he flashed her a crooked smile and the colour of her cheeks darkened even more. "Let's get you home before it's getting too dark and you're catching a cold." And with that, he simply started going towards her home, as if he would have done that a hundreds time before.

Laura barely could breath. She didn't dare looking at his face; Her arms around his neck, her fingers feeling his blond hairs, which peeked out under his hat and which she had longed to touch for so long, his arms around her tiny frame, was more than her heart could bear. It's so strange that love makes you feel all kind of different things at the same time – she thought to herself. As much as she wished she could stay like this forever – safe wrapped in his arms, so close to him - she felt embarrassed and wished the way to her house wouldn't be that long.

"What have you been doing out in that snow anyway, Beth?" Almanzo interrupted her thoughts.

"Uh...I just... I just wanted to have a little time for myself to think... But I lost the track of time and as the snow fell heavier I started to run off home but then I fell over a root or something."

"I see" Almanzo looked down at her, but she refused to look in his eyes. All he could see was her auburn hair, which was covered with white snowflakes and a little bit of her face. It felt strange to hold her so close to him. He couldn't figure out why, but it just felt different than he had ever felt towards anyone. As he had seen her in the snow; so small and covered with tears, he had felt as if that was why he was there for – to protect her from all the pain in this world. And it had been a good feeling, but now it scared him too. Like almost everything about their relationship scared him. He had been awfully careful to not make Mr. Ingalls angry again, but he just couldn't stay away from Laura. He loved to see her in the morning - always smiling - making his day go smoother. He loved the little conversations they shared; he never had to think about what he was saying when he was with her - he just could be himself. But no matter how long Almanzo tried to figure it out, he just couldn't understand what it was that made him so fond of this girl.

"And why were you out there?"

Almanzo laughed as she teased him with the same question "Well, my sister lost something on her way home and I didn't want her to go outside in that cold, so I tried to find it, but instead I found something else in the snow", he winked at her, as Laura had lifted her head wondering – making her wish she wouldn't have.

"I'm sorry. Now you won't find it anymore because of me..."

"Aw Beth, don't be sorry, I wouldn't have found it anyway and just was about to return home, as I found you! And besides, I'm kinda glad that now I have at least the chance to wish my favourite girl a Merry Christmas." Why did he say that? Almanzo scolded himself inside. Every single word of this was the truth but as soon as it had left his mouth it sounded so forward to his ears - so wrong - and he didn't want her to get the wrong impression.

Their conversation floated lightly during the walk towards the little house; they spoke mostly about how they were celebrating Christmas and Laura got the impression that as nearer they came to her home as more slowed Almanzo down, but maybe it was just because of the snow which covered the road higher and higher.

As they finally reached the hill and were able to see the house, Almanzo stopped and smiled down at Laura who lifted her head confused about the fact that Manly hasn't continued to walk.

"Do you think that your Pa will hit me again, seeing me carrying you?"

Laura slapped him playfully on the shoulder as they both laughed. "That's not funny, Manly!"

After all the months which laid between that incident she still felt embarrassed about all what had happened – but mostly about herself and how she had lost her temper.

"Well I think you're safe as long as Nellie hasn't seen us" Laura replied still laughing to cover her light discomfort about this subject.

"Yeah, she would probably spread that we have married in secret", Almanzo joked back, as a picture so clear hit him, that he stopped laughing; Laura as bride, saying "I do". He shook his head to clear his mind confused about this suddenly thought.

"Uhm, well, I best be going", Almanzo cleared his throat and started walking again.

Laura was too lost in her thoughts about the day when she had failed her final examination to notice Almanzo's confusion. She sometimes wondered what would have happened if her Pa and Jonathan wouldn't have come...

"Here we are", Almanzo stated as he knocked on the door and immediately the door swung open with a concerned Charles and Caroline behind it.

"Half-Pint!"

"Laura, thanks God!" Caroline exhaled relieved.

"Ma, Pa, I'm really sorry! I twisted my ankle on a root and wasn't able to get up ... but Almanzo found me" Laura's face reddened as she once again became aware of how he carried her and the fact that she still had her arms around his neck.

Her parents now looked surprised at Almanzo, who stepped inside.

"Uh, Mister Ingalls, Misses Ingalls, Laura hurt her ankle bad a few hundred metres away from the town" Almanzo said unsure of how her parents thought of him, "I was looking for something my sister lost," he rushed to add, so they wouldn't have the possibility to imagine what he had done outside in this weather.

"Oh", Charles looked at Caroline, who smiled at Almanzo and then at her husband, "thank you, Almanzo. We were starting to get really worried and I was just about to leave. I would have left sooner but my wife meant our daughter probably just lost the track of time."

Laura looked ashamed at the ground, "Well... Pa... I sort of did... and I'm really sorry!"

Charles just smiled, glad that nothing happened to her one day before Christmas. "Forget it, Half-Pint, we're just glad nothing too bad happened", he now looked gratefully at the blond man carrying his daughter, "and that you found her, Almanzo"

Almanzo smiled at Mr. Ingalls, knowing that Laura's father had a hard time accepting their friendship and then looked down at Laura, "Well, seems like I always just run into Beth when she's in trouble" he joked, as Laura rolled her eyes playfully.

Caroline watched them both in silence, smiling about the chemistry they evidently shared from the first day on. As she turned her face to Charles she had to stifle a laugh seeing him unhappy about their closeness.

"Almanzo, you can put her down on the chair" he now said in a much more serious tone.

Almanzo lifted his head and nodded caught off guard "Uh, yeah, sure" was his reply as he walked to the wooden table.

"Charles?"

"Yeah?" He was barely able to look away from Laura and Almanzo, afraid the blond man would do or say something to his Half-Pint that wasn't appropriate for their relationship.

"It's getting dark and the snow is already 15 inches high; you probably should get the snowshoes for Almanzo"

"Huh," he now turned his attention to his wife, "Uh, yeah, you're right."

"Oh no, Sir," Almanzo cut in, "That really isn't necessary, I –"

"Nonsense," Caroline interrupted him, "You saved our daughter, so at least we can make your home journey easier" she smiled reassuring at the blond man. "I'll help you, Charles" and with that they both left for the barn – Charles obviously having problems with leaving them alone. Caroline turned one last time before closing the door, giving her daughter a short and knowingly smile, who understood and gratefully smiled back.

Almanzo had set her down on the chair and sat down beside her as he let himself look around to admire the beautiful Christmas tree.

"That's one nice Christmas tree you got there, Beth. Did you do the decoration?"

Laura smiled about his compliment "Thank you, Manly. Yeah, I did it. Do you already have decorated yours?"

"No, I think my sister did it while I was gone. You sure must have an important wish that should find his way under that tree if you made such an effort to decorate it." He winked at her.

"Nothing that would fit under a Christmas tree anyway..." and with that she looked down at her fiddling hands.

Almanzo, confused about her sudden change of mood, wanted to make her smile. Gently he lifted her chin and smiled warming at her, "Maybe it will yet come true", he nearly whispered.

A light smile came back to Laura's face, looking into his sparkling eyes "Maybe..." she replied quietly.

Confused about his new found attraction to her honey-brown eyes, Almanzo let his hand fall as soon as he heard the barn-door close and stood up.

Charles handed him the snow-shoes and when they had thanked him for the fourth time and he had reassured them for the fourth time that it hadn't been any trouble at all, he turned a last time to Laura, "Merry Christmas, Beth."

"Merry Christmas, Manly ... and thanks again" she smiled at him.

"You'll tell me if that wish of yours has come true, promise?" he smiled back.

"You're the first one to know, Manly" Never in her life had something been truer than that.

Almanzo set his hat back, wished her parents a Merry Christmas and stepped outside, after flashing Laura one last crooked smile.

Later that night, Charles just couldn't find the peace to sleep. Finally he whispered, "Caroline?"

"Hmh?" she asked without opening her eyes, half fallen asleep.

"You know... I kind of like him."

She smiled before opening her eyes and stroking his arm, "I know", she whispered back.

Charles turned confused to his wife, "But I've never shown any sympathy for that man."

"I know", her smile widened.

"But then why –"

"Because you do both things because of the same reason, Charles"

"And what's that?"

"He really cares about our daughter" and with that she kissed him on the cheek before drifting off to sleep.