A/n: I'm trying to go through this story and correct typos and inconsistencies, and I'm sure there are many since it took me so long to finish. The story is AU.

Hello! I had this weird idea for a story for a while and since I love a RIT (remus in turmoil) I decided to write it.

I don't own anything. Well, expect for a twisted imagination. Please READ&REVIEW so I can become a better writer and will get the gusto to publish more.

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It was their 7th year Christmas Holidays and only Sirius and Remus had stayed behind. The werewolf had just been through a taxing full moon and wanted to catch up on some reading so he had decided to stay, and Sirius had informed James' parents that despite being forever thankful he'd stay behind as well to study and keep company to their werewolf friend (although he wasn't really going to study and he would never tell Jim's parents Moony was a werewolf, or tell Moony that he was the reason to stay behind).

On the third morning of the Holidays the two Marauders sat side by side at the single remaining table in the Great Hall, enjoying the foods and planning a trip to Hogsmead later that day. However, their planning was interrupted by a large barn-owl flying to Remus and dropping a scroll of parchment to the honey-haired teen's lap before flying away.

"Who's that from?" Sirius asked his friend while shoving more bacon into his mouth. The few remaining students and teachers also glanced at the bird with interest but had by now returned to their food and conversations.

"That's my dad's owl", Remus muttered and opened the scroll carefully. He read the letter and stared at it for so long that Sirius, who had been focused on trying to hex a nearby Slytherin, got distracted and glanced at his friend. When he saw that Remus was even paler than usual and shaking a bit he immediately shoved his wand to his pocket and leaned in.

"What is it, Moony?" he asked in a lowered voice.

Remus took a couple of deep breaths before answering him in an unsteady voice.

"It's my mum. Her Dragon Pox took a turn for the worse."

The werewolf turned teary eyes to Sirius.

"They say she won't make it. That by the time this arrives it's likely she's gone."

At this point Remus finally collapsed and started sobbing quietly, quickly gathering the attentions of others at the table. The dark haired animagus helped him up and walked him swiftly out of the Hall and towards their Tower.

Within three hours both boys were on their way to the Lupin household. Remus had tried to convince Sirius that he didn't need to come, but even if he was afraid of intruding, the animagus couldn't stand the idea of them both being alone and sad onChristmas. Also, Dumbledore who had shortly followed them to the Gryffindor Tower suggested that Remus did indeed need someone to travel with.

None of the Marauders had ever been to Remus' place, and Sirius was starting to feel a bit nervous. The Lupin household was apparently disconnected from the Floo Network so they were travelling by a carriage lent by Dumbledore. The carriage had flown part of the way and they had been travelling for a long time, most of it spent in an uneasy silence, an uncommon occurrence among the Marauders.

"So... where exactly do you live?" Sirius finally asked.

Remus didn't turn his head from where it was leaning against the frosty window of the carriage, hazel eyes staring into the darkness.

"Wales, but you knew that", Remus muttered absentmindedly.

"Actually, I don't think you've ever mentioned it", Sirius pondered aloud, but got no answer and the silence fell again.

It didn't last too long though, for Remus leaned from his seat and peered at the dim lights that were flashing past them. He sat back and finally faced the other boy, looking quite nervous.

"We're nearly there. You could still go back you know."

"The only way I'm leaving is if your father throws me out", Sirius answered, suddenly afraid that was exactly what would happen - maybe his father was the reason none of them had been invited to the werewolf's home.

Remus gave a weak chuckle but didn't comment further, and then the carriage came to a stop.

They exited the carriage to a snow-covered yard of a small two story house. In the yellow electric light cast from the downstairs windows Sirius could see that the pale blue paint of the house was peeling, and a gutter was bent, but otherwise it seemed to be in an okay shape. Remus sighed softly and started to tread through the snow towards the front door of the house, and Sirius followed him silently with the sense of impending doom. The two boys reached the door and Remus pushed it open, revealing a small hall with a coat rack and a row of shoes, and doorways to the right and left. Once they got the door closed the werewolf and his friend rid themselves of their winter coats and boots.

"Dad?" Remus called hesitantly after pausing in the hall.

"In here", came an answer from the right, which turned out to be a decent sized eat-in kitchen with cheery yellow walls and old-fashioned decor.

At the dark wooden table sat a man with his head in his hands. Sirius could only see that Remus had inherited his father's honey-and-sand hair, although Mr. Lupin had almost as much grey in his locks as the original colour. When the older man lifted his head Sirius could see that he also shared his son's intelligent hazel eyes and his nose with a slight bump in the bridge. Otherwise there weren't many similarities - John Lupin was broad shouldered and a bit stocky, and his skin was quite tan, where Remus was more slim and his skin was much lighter.

"Who's he?" Mr. Lupin asked in a rough voice, regarding Sirius. He didn't seem hostile but somewhat wary.

Before Remus could answer Sirius stepped forward and thrust his hand to Mr Lupin, biting back his usual let's-charm-the-parents-smile which was like second nature to him, but would have probably been devastating considering the circumstances. Mr Lupin took his hand, gazing from under his rather thick eyebrows.

"Sirius Black, sir. I'm so sorry that we meet under these circumstances."

"Black? So what are you doing at our half-blood residence then?" the older man asked and snatched his hand back.

"With all do respect sir, I don't give a tiny rat's ass about the supposed purity of blood. I haven't spoken to my parents since I ran away from home, I'm not even in Slytherin. They hate me and I hate them. And to as why I'm here, I'm here to support Remus. I'm sorry if that's a problem."

The older man looked stunned for a while and Sirius wondered if he had crossed the line like he often managed to do. Then Mr Lupin sighed and managed a weary smile before standing up and turning to rummage through the cabinets.

"I'll put the kettle on", he said instead of commenting on Sirius' rant. "Your mother is in the master bedroom if you want to see her. She's basically in a coma, and like I wrote, she won't be with us much longer."

Sirius heard shuffling behind him and turned to follow Remus out of kitchen and through the other doorway in the hall. They passed through the sitting room that had pale blue walls, a threadbare sofa and two armchairs, some bookshelves and a strange wood-paneled box with a glass front in the corner. Remus headed towards the narrow stairway that started from the other corner of the room, and started climbing.

The stairs creaked under their weight as did the floor boards on the landing once they got there. Remus clicked on the light and paused in the small space before turning to Sirius. His face was pale and the shadows under his eyes made him look much older than his 17 years. He was twisting the hem of his red sweater nervously.

"You can wait in my room", the werewolf said in a small voice, gesturing at the first door to Sirius' left.

"I'll come with you", Sirius immediately offered but Remus shook his head.

"It's better if you don't, I... I really want to have some time with her by myself."

Sirius had rarely felt as helpless as now when he watched his friend turn to the door opposite to his own. The pale boy swallowed audibly before reaching a shaking hand to the handle. Sirius took this as his cue to leave him, and mirrored the werewolf's actions on the door he had gestured at earlier. He twisted the handle and stepped into the room and fumbled for the light switch and clicked it. Yellow light flickered to existence inside a round paper shade that hung in the middle of the small room. Sirius examined his surroundings in wonder, realizing that this was where Remus spent his vacations and his childhood.

In the corner there was a narrow bed covered neatly with a dark blue comforter. The small nightstand had a couple of books and a light on top of it, and next to it was an ancient-looking chest of drawers. The wall next to Sirius, the one with the door, was covered in bookshelves stuffed with books and boxes. There was only one window, right opposite to the door and it had a small white desk and chair in front of it. Where the room was otherwise neat, the desk had containers of ink, pens and pencils, parchments and books littering it.

Sirius stepped towards the desk and peered at the papers curiously. To his disappointment they were mostly empty, and the ones that did have something on them were doodles or outlines for the essays they'd had to do last summer. He sat on the chair and sighed softly. Remus' room seemed so small and insignificant. Did the werewolf just sit here all summer long, reading and doing schoolwork? He eyed the papers on the desk and something struck him as odd. Why would neat, tidy Moony scatter this many papers around if he wasn't using them? Out of instinct he grabbed his wand, pulled a parchment closer and whispered:

"I solemnly swear I'm up to no good."

To his amazement and satisfaction thin lines started to appear on the paper. He leaned in and watched as they started to form a picture. A grin spread on his face as the picture finally revealed three detailed forms carefully drawn in ink - a rat, a stag and a dog, standing in the midst of trees and bathed in the light of the full moon. Elated, Sirius grabbed another paper and repeated the incantation. A picture of a laughing James Potter appeared. The next paper had all three animagi in their human forms, hands thrown on each others shoulders. Then James and Sirius. One with Peter cheering in the Quidditch stands. Then Sirius on a broom. Sirius sitting under a tree. A couple of pictures of the three of them. Then Sirius again, this time apparently asleep.

The raven-haired boy stared at the last picture, perplexed. Finally he put it down and was about to reveal another picture when a noise made him start and he hastily muttered counter-spells to hide the pictures again, afraid of getting caught. When he was done and his heartbeat was starting to get back to normal he listened for the sound once more. His heart sank and he walked out of the room as soon as he recognized it. Someone was sobbing, and there weren't many options. Sirius walked across the small landing, opened the door that Remus had gone through and froze.

Remus' mother was laying perfectly still on the bed, and Sirius' first thought was that despite her age and illness, she had been a beautiful woman. Her dark-brown curls were laid on the pillow, her delicate hands rested on the covers and her face was serene. She and Remus had the same full lips, slender form and from what he could see under the pox, the same pale skin. Her hair and upturned nose were the most noticeable differences to her son.

Speaking of her son, Remus had tucked himself in a corner and was hugging his knees, sobbing. He only ceased when Sirius called his name and asked what was wrong.

"She s-stopped b-breathing" Remus sniffled in near-hysterics. "She stopped a while ago and I didn't, I couldn't -"

"Calm down", Sirius said softly and pulled Remus up and into his embrace. It felt a bit weird after the pictures, and even weirder as he was now quite aware that there was a corpse in the same room.

"We have to tell your dad, come on", the animagus continued and started pulling the werewolf from the room and down the stairs.

When they got back to the kitchen they saw Mr Lupin in the same chair and same position they had when they first arrived, only now there was a chipped mug in front of him. Sirius gave Remus' hand a soft squeeze to encourage him before letting go of it.

"...dad?" Remus said hesitantly, and the man lifted his head and gazed at them with weary eyes.

"Mum's dead", the werewolf croaked and Sirius saw tears staining his cheeks again.

Mr Lupin didn't react straight away, just stared at them without blinking or really seeing. Then he sighed and pushed himself away from the table, picked up his full mug of tea and placed it in the sink. He kept his back to them, gripping the metal edges of the sink and swaying slightly on his feet. The silence was becoming unbearable when Mr Lupin finally spoke.

"Someone has to deliver the message to her brother."

"Send an owl", Remus muttered and Sirius saw him tense and shudder.

"It would take days for an owl to reach him in this weather. Besides, I swore I'd never contact that man."

The older man had a stony expression on his face when he turned to his son and Sirius, who was feeling increasingly uncomfortable.

"You will go."

Remus flinched and stared at his dad in shock. His jaw opened and closed a few times before he got any sound out.

"I can't, dad..."

"Yes you can and you will."

Remus' voice trembled.

"No, dad, please don't make me go... Dad, please, dad don't -"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" the man suddenly yelled, rendering Remus speechless and leaving a ringing silence in the room.

Sirius could hear his own heart pounding. After a moment of labored breathing Mr Lupin continued in a soft voice, absurdly different from his yelling.

"Sorry about that. Now be a good boy and hurry up and go, hm? Your carriage awaits."

"Okay. I'm sorry too, da-..." Remus swallowed the last word and nodded meekly, turning to push past Sirius to the small hall where he started to put on his shoes.

For a moment Sirius stood there, in the middle of a cheery kitchen, and wondered what he was supposed to say. He settled for again saying he was sorry for their loss since "it was nice to meet you" would've been quite a stretch. He followed Remus who was wrapping his thick scarf around his neck. Sirius pulled his boots on and shrugged on his coat without bothering to do the fastenings properly.

"I'm coming with you", he announced and readied himself for an argument, but Remus just nodded silently and pushed the door open and stepped outside, Sirius following.

The werewolf paused for a moment, peering at the carriage that was waiting for them where they left it.

"Oh wow", he breathed finally and continued more carefully, never taking his eyes of the carriage. The black-haired teen jogged to his side and peered at his friend's mesmerized face with concern.

"You alright there, Moony?" he asked when Remus walked to the front of the carriage and stretched his shaking hand into thin air.

The werewolf didn't answer at first, just stroked his hand through the air. Then he turned to his friend and smiled slightly.

"Thestrals, Sirius", he whispered. When Sirius just stared blankly, he continued: "You know, winged horses. That's what's pulling the carriage."

"You sure you haven't just gone a bit wonky?" the animagus chuckled nervously, being still somewhat unsure about what his friend was talking about - he couldn't see a thing.

"Come here"; Remus said and took Sirius' hand his own, pulling him towards the spot where he had been stroking air.

The honey-haired teen raised both their hands and suddenly Sirius felt something scaly and leathery under his fingers, making him jolt back.

"That does not feel like a horse", he managed, trying to squint to see something, hesitantly reaching his hand to the invisible surface.

Even after spending his whole life in the Wizarding World it was a weird experience. The only thing he noticed was the somewhat round shapes in the snow, which he supposed could be from hooves. They stayed like that for a moment until Remus cleared his throat and addressed the thin air in front of him.

"We need to get to Yellow Manor in England, do you know where it is?"

Apparently the answer was positive since Remus thanked and bowed the tiniest bit before climbing into the carriage and helping Sirius up as well. They settled to their seats and Sirius tried to give his friend, who had gone quiet and serious-looking, some space. It wasn't long after the carriage started moving that he couldn't bite his tongue anymore.

"So, a manor, huh? Your uncle a lord or something?" Sirius inquired with a small smile, hoping to keep the mood even a tad light.

Remus didn't respond to his smile and glanced at him with a weird expression.

"No, he isn't. And don't call him that." After a pause he sighed and continued. "He isn't a lord, he just bought the big house that has a stupid name. I guess he's somewhat wealthy, not that my family has ever gained anything from that. And he has never been a part of my life so I don't call him uncle."

Sirius nodded and though he itched to ask more, he sensed it was better to leave it be. They settled to their seats and soon the dark-haired boy felt the day weigh on him, pushing his eyelids shut and making the swaying carriage feel like a cradle.

He wasn't sure how long he had dozed off for, but when Remus was shaking him slightly it was, if possible, even darker outside, and they had yet again landed and were slowing down.

"Were almost at the door, Sirius", Remus whispered nervously. "Try to wake up a bit, he must be waiting since the gates opened up for us when we approached."

The carriage came to a halt and Sirius yawned and stretched his arms. He then ran a hand through his messed up hair, hoping it wouldn't look too bad, and then glancedat Remus who had his mouth in a tight line and brow scrunched up. The werewolf peered outside and sighed.

"He's waiting. We have to go."

After that he pushed the carriage door open and jumped down to the frozen ground, shortly followed by Sirius, who gazed around, taking in the big, Victorian style house and large, fenced in yard before focusing on the figure outlined in the yellow light shining through the open double doors.

"Remus, mon garçon! I see you've brought a friend!" a melodic voice called from atop of the steps. "Come in or you'll freeze!"

The boys climbed the stairs and the man waiting for them made way. The hall was brightly light and spacious, it's decor a mix of Victorian and modern pieces. A wide staircase rose from one corner and there were three doors leading out of the room. Sirius didn't have much time to take this all in before his attention narrowed in on the man that was greeting them.

The man was in his forties and dressed in a dark blue robe. His shoulder length hair was pulled back with a ribbon and was the exact same colour and texture as his sister's. His features were strikingly similar too, and it was weird seeing some of Remus in the older man's face, although his blue eyes were nothing like Remus' hazel ones. All in all he was a good-looking man and gave off an air of prosperity and hospitality.

The werewolf hadn't removed any of his outer clothes, and was standing in the middle of the room looking awkwardly at anything but the man, who now spread his arms and smiled broadly.

"Remus, my sweet boy. You've grown", the man stated warmly and pulled the reluctant boy to himself, kissing him on each cheek. It took a moment for the man to let Remus go, then he stepped back and gazed at him from head to toe before focusing on his face again.

"So, I suppose you haven't traveled here solely to pay me a visit. Have you some news?"

Remus took a deep breath and squared his shoulders before raising his head to meet his uncle's eyes.

"Mother's dead", he stated simply. The smile on the older man faltered.

"That is unfortunate. Though my sister was often ill and restless, so maybe she will have some peace now."

Somehow this comment seemed to offend Remus, who clenched his gloved hands into fists and pursed his lips. His uncle didn't seem to notice or chose to ignore it, in stead turning to Sirius and offering his hand.

"And you are?" he asked with his smile returning to his face with no effort.

Sirius took the hand and introduced himself, somehow slipping back to his childhood years of being formal and respectful - the man and the surroundings seemed to demand it.

"I am Sirius Black, sir, Remus' friend from school. I accompanied him so he wouldn't have to travel alone under these circumstances."

Remus sneaked a side long look at Sirius with wide eyes and raised eyebrows but didn't comment on his friend's uncharacteristic behavior. Remus' uncle just widened his smile, revealing perfectly straight and white teeth.

"Ah, I should've recognized a Black, you do have the characteristics. Good to know Remus has some high-class friends. But don't bother calling me sir, you can call me André."

The handshake was warm and firm, but Sirius felt oddly insecure as André's striking blue eyes gazed into his own intensely. Remus shuffled his feet awkwardly and Sirius was somewhat relieved when his hand was released and the older man clapped his hands together, yet again smiling joyously.

"Well, even though the circumstances aren't optional, we might as well make the most of your visit. I haven't seen you in so long, Remy, take of your coat and let's go into the sitting room!"

Sirius was already pulling off his coat when Remus interrupted in a small voice.

"No. I came to tell you that mother is dead. I have done that and we should return to school."

"Don't be silly my dear boy!" André laughed. "It's very late and the journey is long. Besides, I sent the carriage away already, your things are in the guest bedroom. Surely Dumbledore doesn't expect you to get back right away in these conditions and at this hour. You're staying."

When Remus still hesitant, Sirius threw his coat on a nearby chair and walked over to his friend. The werewolf refused to meet his eyes and was chewing on his bottom lip. Sensing his friend's distress Sirius frowned and laid a comforting hand on the werewolf's shoulder.

"He has a point, Moony. Let's just stay the night, we'll contact the school first thing in the morning."

Remus sighed and nodded, starting to unbutton his winter coat.

"Excellent, I'll go tell the elves to make enough tea for all of us", his uncle announced and left the room.

Sirius turned back to Remus who had hung both their coats and was now sitting on a Victorian chair pulling his boots off. The werewolf looked somewhat nauseous.

"Hey, it's only for one night. Besides, he seems okay to me", Sirius offered lamely.

The sandy-haired boy shot him a sharp look.

"You don't know what you're talking about", he almost growled. Sirius was however unable to inquire more since Remus' uncle returned and lead them to the sitting room.

The rest of the evening went swimmingly as far as Sirius was concerned. He didn't pay much attention to Remus who was quietly sipping his tea when André told boisterous stories that made Sirius snort Firewhiskey that the man had generously offered saying: "You aren't in school now, you can have a bit!"

When they finally climbed the stairs hours after midnight Sirius was still preoccupied with images from André's tales and didn't really attention to Remus who continued his silence. He let Remus lead them to a decent sized room where they found their luggage piled next to a king-size bed. Sirius only snapped out of his reverie when the werewolf threw his pajamas at him.

"I can take the floor", the werewolf muttered with his back to the black-haired boy.

"Don't be silly, the bed is huge. We can share", Sirius barked a laugh, starting to pull his day-clothes off.

"Okay", Remus simply said and started to change into his own more tattered and somewhat too small night-wear.

When they were done Remus lead Sirius to a nearby bathroom since there wasn't one adjoining the guest room. Sirius sat himself on the edge of the huge claw-foot tub and started brushing his teeth while Remus did the same standing. Sirius, always too impatient to take time in his routines, spat the suds out before Remus had even properly started.

"You seem pretty confident walking around here though it's a big house", he said just to say something.

"Mum and I used to visit when I was a child", Remus answered around his toothbrush with some difficulty.

Sirius nodded and tried to occupy himself with following the intricate floral patterns on the floor tiles, but found himself too bored and tired. When Remus seemed to be his rigorous self and kept brushing after what seemed like an eternity, Sirius just excused himself and wondered back to their bedroom. He tucked himself in and tried not to fall asleep even though the bedding felt luxuriously soft and warm after a harsh day of travelling and emotional turmoil.