A/N: Happy New Year!

Disclaimer: I do not own OHSHC or any of the characters mentioned in this story

*Haruhi POV*

There were a lot of words that I expected to come out of Kaoru's mouth, and those were not amongst them.

Had I not already been sitting, I am sure my knees would have given out. I wasn't startled by the fact that Kaoru had said those words, but more so because I could almost feel the truth in his sentence. My body felt like it had been liquified, my mind like it had been wiped blank, and my heart like it had been set on fire. I don't know how long I spent staring dumbfounded at Kaoru until the thoughts finally returned to my empty cavern, my composure slowly recollecting itself.

"W-what nonsense are you spewing Kaoru? Are you sure you don't have a fever too?" I was proud I managed to only stutter at one point in the sentence, my voice sounding a lot more emotionless than my inner turmoil.

I almost recoiled at the harsh glare I received, the gold in his eyes flickering dangerously in response to my obvious denial. I didn't even have to ask what he meant, his face said everything. 'Haruhi, don't lie to me'.

I released an audible sigh as I let my head collapse into my hands, my hair falling to cover the bright red that had yet to leave my complexion.

"I don't know if I can do this Kaoru." I muttered, my voice muffled.

"And why not, Haruhi?" He prompted, his voice still gentle, patient as if he were leading a small child through a math problem they just couldn't seem to understand.

"How can you fall for someone without even noticing it?" I asked, flustered by the onslaught of emotions that had been fluctuating in my body. How had I not noticed these before? How deep had I buried them that it took so long, and so much to bring them to the surface?

I thought back to the first day I met the Hitachiin twins, their bright hair and golden eyes distinguishing them from everyone else. The constant laughter created at others expense, the never diminishing maniacal grins, even the tears that were shed on my behalf. Just how long had I been thinking more of one than the other? When had I started to see Hikaru as something more than my friend, than my dorm mate?

Part of me wondered if it went right back to the first day I met the brothers, the two of them in erie synchronization that has become part of my everyday life now. I wondered if maybe it had started somewhere between the teacher pranks, having a cookie literally stolen from my lips, or being kidnapped from the hospital to go on a midday exploration.

"It only takes a few seconds to fall in love Haruhi." Kaoru's soft words resounding through the thoughts that had encompassed my mind.

I realized I couldn't really pinpoint when it occurred, when I started treating him differently, all I knew was that I did. I didn't react the same to Hikaru as I would to Mori, or to Tamaki, not even the same as Kaoru. He was different, he was an exception. Had Tamaki tried to kiss me, even in a fevered state, I'd quickly use the a-word that would send him tumbling into a corner, ill or not.

But it was different with Hikaru. I could've rejected him, I could have avoided him, removed him from my personal space. But I didn't.

I let him kiss me, I wanted him to.

"Aaargh! Why him? Why is he different?" I asked aloud, more to myself than anyone.

"You really want to know if he's different?" Kaoru asked, his voice seeming closer than before.

I brought my head up from my hands, my flushed face mere inches from Kaorus, who had moved closer, and was leaning precariously close to myself.

"W-w-what are you doing Kaoru?" I stuttered, embarrassed that he was this close to me.

Kaoru didn't respond as he watched my expression, unreadable thoughts racing through his eyes at speeds I couldn't even begin to comprehend. I cringed back a little bit, trying to gain a little bit of my personal space back. I froze as Kaoru gradually moved closer, his breath mixing with mine as his lips approached my own. My brain was overheating, what was Kaoru doing? Why was he so close to me? What did he mean by his question?

I suddenly snapped into realization of what was about to happen, and I turned my face to the side, avoiding all facial contact with the younger of the Hitachiin brothers.

It didn't feel right with Kaoru, it didn't feel the same. I wasn't necessarily repulsed by having Kaoru that close to myself, if anything I didn't mind the contact, but it didn't feel right to do something so... so intimate with him. It just felt unnatural.

But it felt different with Hikaru.

Because it was different with Hikaru.

And that was what Kaoru was trying to show me.

Kaoru gradually pulled his face back, his gaze set on the floor as a small plastered smile makes its way onto his face. He stood up to his full height, rising much above my seated position, and smiled a grin that doesn't really touch his eyes. "That's why he's different."

I scoffed at myself, a hand coming up to rub my temples as I realized how idiotically simple this was.

I loved Hikaru.

I rose my red face, which was gradually losing it's vibrant colour, and smiled one of the happiest smiles I've shown in a while. "Thank you Kaoru."

"Don't mention it." Kaoru grins, his face tinted pink from what I'm assuming is joy, as he ruffles the cropped hair on my head.

We look at each other grinning like idiots before Kaoru decides to drop another one of his bombs for the day.

"So," He struts over to my bed, the smile still embedded on his face, and relaxes on his back with his hands behind his head, "how are you going to tell him?"

Shit.

It only occurred to me now that I had only solved half the problem. Finding out what I felt was part one, figuring out what to do with this newfound discovery was part two. For some reason, hurdle two seemed a lot larger than hurdle one.

*Hikaru POV*

Seventeen days.

That's exactly how long it's been since I awoke from my fever, how long it's been since I've been able to even attempt to start a normal conversation between Haruhi and myself. Seventeen days of pure torture.

Surprisingly, even to myself, I remembered every detail of my fevered night. If anything, I remembered it a little too vividly.

I remembered the overbearing heat that flushed through my system, the fever induced delusions, even the horrific immobility that followed. But most of all, I remembered Haruhi. I could image the heat of her body against my own, the tears that would stream down her face, the feel of her hand against my lips.

And, frustratingly enough, the most striking memory was that of my lips pressed to the ones of the girl I loved. I remembered the soft feel of flesh on flesh, the aerobatics of my stomach that would return even now as I contemplated it. I would recall the feral desire to continue after the mere contact, the need for more, the need to claim her as my own.

And this, this overwhelming need, is what has kept me so distant from the beautiful brunette. This state of mind where I don't know if I will truly be able to control myself in her presence.

However, my rational mind wanted to go near her, to apologize, to try to gather the fragments of our friendship and put them together before I lost her forever. My rational mind was the reason I was standing before the door to Haruhi's room, my hand trembling slightly as I reached for the handle.

With a surge of confidence I put my hand on the brass knob, and pressed into the room, disturbing the females conversation with my other half.

"-supposed to do, just yell 'I love you'?!" I heard the female voice angrily direct the comment at the boy sitting across from her, and I froze in place, standing in the doorway to the young females room, all sets of eyes directed at myself.

Haruhi loved someone.

I felt my chest crumple in on itself, the unbearable pain almost making me want to collapse to my knees. I took a small step back, but I couldn't manage another movement after that, the small hope trying to keep itself alight in my mind was waiting, begging Haruhi to explain. I wanted her to tell me it wasn't true, that she wasn't in love with someone else.

"... Who?" I asked quietly, my gaze fixed on the petit female whom I doubt could have turned a deeper shade of red. "Who is it?"

*Haruhi POV*

Kaoru wasn't impressed with my idea of stifling these burdensome thoughts and emotions, his anger seemed to be boiling by the moment. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to feel, this was simply too much for someone whit so little experience in the field.

"Well, what am I supposed to do, just yell 'I love you'?!" I asked, aggravated by this point.

It was then I heard the audible gasp from the side of the room, my head whipping to locate the source of such a noise. I felt my stomach plummet to the floor, the fear overtaking my body, as I stared at the intruder to my room, and the current object of my affection. Hikaru.

Our gazes met, and I could feel my insides churning at the sight of his face, my body flushing. I wanted to hide my face, wishing to retract the words I just said. I wasn't ready yet, I couldn't face him just yet!

But his stare kept my eyes locked to his, I couldn't look away regardless of how hard I tried. His golden eyes reflected the look of shock on my own face, and another look, the same one that I couldn't describe the day we were at the hospital.

"...Who? Who is it?" He asked, his voice as stoic as his expression. I felt the coldness in his question, the words almost laced with anger.

I stared at him a few moments more, trying to comprehend the irony of the situation, before it finally clicked that there had been a question directed at myself.

"... I... I-I..." My mind was wheeling. What if I said I loved him and he was disgusted, and I lost him as a friend? What if I said it and he laughed in my face? What if I never told him and tried to learn to live with these feelings sheltered? What if-

My thoughts were cut off as Kaoru stood from where he was relaxing on my bed, his face hosting that ever present facade, and walked towards his older brother. I watched as a hand was placed on Hikaru's shoulder, a few brief words were muttered into his ear, and the younger brother wandered out of the room.

Kaoru had left Hikaru standing in the doorway glaring a hole through the floor, and myself staring anxiously at the place Kaoru had been moments before leaving me alone with the one person I couldn't be alone with right now.

The awkward silence that engulfed the air was stifling, it only made my mind wheel faster with the ever pessimistic 'what if' statements.

When I finally couldn't stand it anymore, I ground out a brief "Hey."

I was met with the surprised stare of Hikaru, as if I had suddenly reappeared in the room where I hadn't been before. His mouth opened, though words seemed to refuse to leave his lips, and he settled for a slight nod instead.

"You coming inside?" I tried to ask as casually as I could, praying my voice wasn't wavering too much.

I watched from the side of my vision as Hikaru stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, I couldn't stare at him without breaking into a blush again. I saw his figure walk slowly, almost cautiously towards the bed Kaoru had been seated at moments ago.

The awkward silence once again filled the air, the tension in the room almost tangible from the lack of conversation. My mind had gone from whirling to blank. I couldn't seem to think of a single thing to say to Hikaru that would release even a little of the stress in the room.

"Who?" Hikaru asked, his voice sounding almost raspy, like he was trying to hold something back. His eyes flicked upwards to rest on my own, the golden colour boring into my thoughts as I tried to find an appropriate answer to the question.

I sat for what felt like an eternity before Hikaru let out a shuddered sigh as his head fell into his hands. I stared down at the floor, hoping, praying he hadn't noticed anything, knowing it would all be over if I did.

"Why can't it be me?" Hikaru muttered, his voice barely audible over my own thoughts.

"W-what?" I stuttered, startled at the question, wondering what he was on about.

"Why can't it be me?" He asked louder this time, a red tint beginning to show at his ears.

"Why can't what be you, Hikaru? You're not making any sense."

"Why can't you love me?"

*Hikaru POV*

"Why can't you love me?" The question slipped before I could even think about what I was saying. I stared in horror at the floor, immediately wanting to take back the words that I had spoken.

What was I thinking? What if she doesn't love me back? Would she be disgusted by me? What have I done?

These questions ran circles in my head, succeeding in dragging my thoughts into the black whirlwind of pessimism that would overtake my being every time I thought of Haruhi and myself. I was struggling desperately to escape until I heard a soft giggle from the girl sitting across from me. I glanced up, all colour draining from my face as I saw she had a small smile on her lips.

She was laughing at me.

I felt my blood boil in embarrassment as I tried to hide my face from her amused eyes. She was laughing at my desperation, at my love, at me. I stood up as quick as I could, trying to make an escape for the door before it could get any worse. I would not cry in front of her.

"Wait!" Her voice was soft, yet urgent, and regardless of what my mind was telling me to do, my body froze with her command.

"What..." I growled, harsher than intended, and I'm sure she recoiled, but I was too afraid to look back at her.

"You're wrong."

She said it so simply, so blatantly, that it only succeeded in aggravating me more.

"Oh, I'm the one that's wrong?" I turned to face her, my anger more than evident in my voice, "I'm not the one laughing at someone else's feelings! Just because I love you doesn't give you the right to shunt my- mmph!"

Haruhi was kissing me.

Somewhere during my rant she had reached up to grab the back of my neck, entangled her hand in my hair, and pulled our lips together to effectively stop me from speaking.

The moment out breaths mingled, my thoughts had been wiped clean, and my gaze had drifted to the red lips set upon her face. As soon as I felt the warmth upon my mouth I knew what I wanted.

I felt the familiar flop of my stomach, the rushing heat, even the small spark that ignited everything it touched. I felt my scalp burn where she touched me, the need for more contact steadily increasing as I grabbed her hips and pulled her body closer to my own.

The small gasp she released gave me full access to her mouth, my tongue easily invading the warmth of her lips as I savored the taste of the girl I loved. I felt her tongue move against mine, and the small spark ignited into a full flame, and a battle for dominance ensued.

I don't know how long we kissed, but we both needed air, and reluctantly pulled apart to catch our breaths.

"I... Love you too..." Haruhi panted, her breath against my collarbone, sending shivers down my spine. It took more than a few seconds to process what she said.

"Wait- but- and- how- I don't-"

Haruhi laughed at my obvious confusion, a sound that I will admit made my heart leap a little, before she pulled back from my embrace and set her gaze upon my own.

"I love you too." She smiled, and I could feel that it was contagious.

I leaned down and pulled her into another brief kiss, and while it was a tad less intimate, it was far more passionate.

I pulled back and let my forehead rest against hers, my heart soaring as the smile that graced her lips only seemed to grow wider by the minute.

"So," I ask, a teasing tone slipping into my voice, "did I steal your first kiss?"

"Nope." Haruhi responds, pulling herself away altogether and heads to the door of the room. I stared flabbergasted at her as she opened the door and turned back, a sly smile still on her face, "Tamaki stole that one."

And she was gone, running around the corner, all the while laughing to herself.

Tamaki was so gonna get it.

A/N: First and foremost, THANK YOU to anyone who stuck around with this story. It's been a long time, over a year now I believe, since I started this catastrophe, and a lot has changed since then. Truthfully, I've been trying to redevelop my writing style for my future stories, and I hope that this one seems relatively consistent in the style from chapter to chapter. Second, to anyone, and I mean anyone who reviewed, I love you all. From the criticism to the encouragement, it means a lot to me that you would even take the time to write a few small words for the sake of my story. Again, thank you. Third, I hate endings. I really, really don't like the way this story turned out, but it is what it is, and I have no intention of changing the plot. However, I may go back and check over for grammar or spelling errors, even though I detest reading my own work over again. Finally, I have been contemplating for a while now doing a brief epilogue all from Kaoru's POV, because I adore his character. I wanted to know from you guys if that's something you are interested in seeing or not. All in all, this has been a wonderful experience, and I only have you readers to thank for that! Thanks for reading till the end,

~Katz7777777