This is the much awaited Nel-Grimmjow one shot. Apologies for the delay, a lot of things happened and I sort of grew disinterested and demotivated towards this particular story. But I intend to see it to the end so I will continue writing. There are 3 more one shots left in this series after that I will bid farewell to the "If I could Fly" verse.

This chapter is dedicated to i-come-from-pluto, who was the first person asking me for a detailed look on this storyline.

Special thanks to Cerice Belle, my Beta. I am driving her insane :) As usual R&R.

The two sides of a coin

GRIMMJOW

She always called me GJ. Well, not always, but most of the time. I was attracted to her from the time I saw her in the academy. Ours was a smallish one with only thirty of us training under two trainers. If you need a comparison, these training academies are similar to a residential dojo. The orphans, particularly the unruly ones, are often dumped here. Sometimes for a little bit of money, sometimes like a piece of old furniture that has run out of use with it's original owner. I have no fucking clue how these run down academies stay afloat, where they get the dough from and honestly, I can't be bothered to know. One of the trainers found me, less than an year old, dumped at their doorstep. A piece of paper that was wedged into the blanket declared that my name was Grimmjow Jagerjaquez and that's all. Either I was a fucking hell-raiser as an infant or I am a bastard or an orphan with no one to look after me. I like to think it was the first. Either way, I was dumped and my life was within the walls of that academy. However,one is only allowed to stay in the academy till they are fifteen. On the day one turns sixteen, they are unceremoniously dumped on their ass.

Unceremoniously dumped on my ass was how I first met her- embarrassing as hell. I was eleven and was caught as I was pulling a prank on someone. Nothing out of the ordinary, really. I have always been a practical joker. But this time, being caught red-handed the recipients of the joke decided to 'teach me a lesson'. Fuck- no sense of humor at all. I mean all I had done was to paint red mustaches on four guys while they were sleeping. It's not my fault that one of them woke up sneezing. Anyhow, I was hoisted by my arms and legs and thrown across the yard, landing hard on my ass. Wincing in pain I was rubbing my sore bottom when I heard a laugh. Turning to the sound, I saw a pair of slender legs walking towards me. I followed the legs all the way up to find this girl, short green-hair, (Chick tells me it's not green, but Turquoise, but frankly I don't care. To me it's green.) wide grey eyes, bony structure, flat chested and short. I have no idea why, but looking at the girl, I turned red to the very tips of my black hair. I came to know a few things later. One, the girl's name was Neliel Tu Odelschwanck. Two, she dyed her hair green because she liked the color. Three, I had a massive thing for her. Four, I couldn't open my mouth in front of her without turning several shades of various colors faster than traffic lights. In fact it took me a whole year to open my mouth in front of her. And when I finally did, I fucking screwed it up! I distinctly remember saying "cawebfrnds" when I wanted to say "Can we be friends?". Talk about a history of being embarrassed. If all that wasn't enough, she had taken to calling me GJ. She was the only one in fact who could call me that and get away with it. It was a good thing she approached me because I was being an ass over her.

Once she broke the ice, we became friends real quick. I liked everything about her. I liked that she would tease me to no end. I loved it when she dyed my hair blue, to match my eyes. Not only did she love my hair that way, it also made me look fucking badass. I liked it that she fought like a man and her punches could knock much bigger opponents out cold. I also found it fucking cute when she tried her first cigarette. She drew long and hard, inhaled some of the smoke expressionlessly then dissolved into spasms of coughs, tears streaming down her tomato red face. I had fallen for her, hard but I never told her anything, never felt the need to. She knew it, it was evident. I knew she liked me too. We were meant to be together, it was a foregone conclusion. I kissed her the first time when we were both fifteen, she responded completely. It was clumsy, lacking in finesse and way too hormone driven but it was enough for both of us to know for sure. We both knew we would have to leave the academy next year and we would have to find a place to stay. Unspoken we had started to look for accommodation. It was Nel who found the small one bedroom flat that would be our home. We left the academy and rented the flat and did some part time jobs to sustain us. It was as she started mingling with normal people that she started having doubts. She liked the quieter life better. It was as if she had somehow started seeing things differently. I did not know what she meant. I was born to fight and the quieter life wasn't my cup of tea. Then I got my first real job, completed it too and when I came back home, all hell broke loose. We fought like we never had. We said things we shouldn't have, then she asked me to get out and I did. That was the biggest fucking mistake of my life. A mistake that haunted me for the next eight years.

NELLIEL

When Rangiku dragged me to the sleepover, overriding every argument I made, I had expected it to be a mildly boring experience. I am not shy, but I am not one of those people who can instantly make friends either, so I was expecting a night in which I would be mostly quiet and if possible, blend in the background, which I knew was wishful thinking. My hair color stands out, but I wasn't willing to let my natural blond show just so that I could blend in the background. So, unwillingly, I accompanied her. The thing I was least expecting to run into was Grimmjow Jagerjaquez after six long years. When I saw him, it was like someone had started a film in my head. I saw those two years flash before my eyes, over and over again. The two years during which I was sure I would go mad. The worst part wasn't the waiting, it wasn't the madness, it also wasn't the searching, the worst part was the thought that maybe I could have done something differently. That thought alone kept me going. A part of me knew that he was gone and what I was doing was fruitless. But a greater part of me refused to believe that he had simply disappeared. That he could so easily leave five and half years of his life behind. It took me two long years to finally accept what I knew all along- he wasn't coming back.

Only I know how much of an effort it took to calm my self and not run away from the place screaming like a banshee. But in the truth and dare, when the black-haired thin guy (I now know he's called Uryuu Ishida, didn't know it then) dared me to do something unthinkable, there really was only one thing I could do, slap the man who was the cause of so much distress to me. I really didn't care what anyone else thought of me, I just had to get the frustration out of my system. I had managed to convince myself in the past four years that I was over him, but seeing him again rekindled all the feelings in full intensity. Both my love and my hate. When he kissed me, every cell of my body screamed. I hated myself for liking the kiss and liked myself for being able to mask it behind my hate. When he approached the black-haired girl, I almost laughed at his desperate attempt to get my attention. Fool! As if I could look at anyone else. But when his attempts at making me jealous failed so terribly, I did laugh. He hadn't changed one bit. Subtlety was never his strong suit; it was no different this time either. When I noticed him talking to Rangiku, I knew it wasn't the last time I was seeing him. Strangely, a small part of me was hopeful. How much more pathetic could I get?

He did show up a few days later, with pink carnations. I adore those flowers, but this time I was better prepared. Prepared to let my anger take precedence over my love for him. He needed to know what he had done to me. I loved him, a lot, but I didn't trust him any more. Self preservation took precedence for me and I lashed out at him. Telling him exactly what I thought and walked away. I didn't know what to expect and I told myself that I was ready for whatever his reaction would be. I didn't expect a bunch of pink carnations and a card the next day. It was delivered at my work place. The card didn't have any name, just a big sorry, written in green and blue- our colors. I smiled a bit but then did what I thought was right, threw the flowers away. I couldn't bring myself to tear the card so I threw it away. Since then I got flowers every day for the next few days and then all of a sudden, just when I had started to marginally look forward to them, they stopped. Just like the last time, he disappeared without a trace and I was left wondering what just happened.

Later on the news that I learned that Aizen Souske had been arrested, along with a bunch of his minions. I remembered that he had come to the sleepover with Aizen's daughter and niece, claiming to be the cousin of some other black haired guy. I knew they were lying but I never cared about that particular detail till I heard that name in the news. I had a feeling that probably he's in some kind of a trouble, but then I brushed it aside, telling myself that I was doing the same thing again- justifying his actions to myself. A few days after the trial was over, I had a surprise visitor. It was a Saturday afternoon and I was alone in my flat. Rangiku was out shopping. She had tried to drag me, but I feigned a headache and stayed home. I was reading a book when the knock sounded. Since I wasn't expecting Rangiku for another couple of hours, I walked up to the door, surprised. I opened it to find myself staring at a face that had until recently, dominated the local news channels.

"Orihime Inoue?" I was very surprised. I remembered then that she was also Rangiku's friend, "I am sorry but Rangiku isn't home."

"I know. I called her. Can I come in?" The girl said with a smile.

"Oh of course. I'm so sorry." I stepped aside to let her in and closed the door behind her. "Rangiku would be here in a couple of hours."

"I know Neliel," She replied, sitting down on the couch, "Actually I didn't come to meet her. I came to meet you."

"Me?" I was totally perplexed.

"You see, I owe Grimmjow a huge favor, I am just repaying it in a small way."

"Oh!" I said, everything finally clicking into place. "I do not want to be rude to you Orihime since your are Rangiku's friend, but whatever it is that you have to say, I am not willing to listen. If there was something he wanted to say to me he could come here and say it himself. I believe he knows where I live?"

"Nel, I understand your anger. It's justified too." The girl replied calmly, "But before you draw any conclusion, could you please at least listen to me? From one girl to another."

I sighed. There was something about that pretty faced girl that I just couldn't say no to. I sat down and said,

"Fine, tell me what do you have to say?"

"Grimmjow would have come here personally, if he could. But he cannot, it's physically impossible for him."

I frowned and looked at her. She continued,

"He is one of the people who got arrested along with Aizen Souske."

My worst fears were confirmed. I sat there unsure of how to feel. At that moment I felt nothing. There was a vast emptiness within me. I heard my next question but I have no memory of ever asking it,

"How long?"

"Two years."

We sat in complete silence for a while, each staring at the other. Finally she said,

"I think you need time to sort out your feelings." She scribbled something on a piece of paper and put it in my hand, "This is my number. Call me when you feel like talking."

I looked at the piece of paper but my mind still didn't work. I saw her leave, but I couldn't even get up to lock the door behind her. I do not know how long it was before I cried.

Over the two years I found a wonderful friend in Orihime Inoue. She told me that he had asked her to let me know that he wasn't able to send me the flowers. I also learned that the black haired man, who claimed to be GJ's cousin was actually her boyfriend. And she told me that it was almost impossible to meet them in the jail. She herself had met Ulquiorra only four times since he was arrested. I didn't know if I wanted to meet him or not. Sure I was no longer as angry with him as I was when I met him again at the sleep over, but some part of me had still not forgiven him. I asked Orihime several times why she was indebted to GJ, but she would always skirt away from the topic. At the end of two years, she came to me all bright and shining.

"Nel!" She said as she jumped on to my bed, waking me up.

"What?" I said groggily.

"Nel they are coming Nel. They are coming!" She was jumping up and down.

"Aliens?" I said stupidly.

"What?" She stopped, her eyes wide. "Did you just say Aliens?"

"Sorry, I had a weird dream about Aliens invading us and zombies defending the Earth."

"Nel!" Orihime said, her eyes growing wider, "That's is brilliant. We can even have robots join us in the war. You know because zombies are scared of fire, it's their weakness. If the Aliens do their research they would know that the zombies can be annihilated so we should have fire proof robots as the second line of defense. They would..."

"ORIHIME," I cut her short, I knew left to herself she could ramble about that random dream for hours, completely forgetting what she was here for, "Who is coming?"

"Aliens." She replied, her eyes still having that crazy gleam.

I sighed and got off the bed, letting her be lost in her insane dream for sometime. I freshened up and stepped out to see her sitting and talking with Rangiku. She did not have that crazy gleam anymore and I knew she was back to Planet Earth.

"So, what were you telling me earlier? Who's coming?"

"Ulquiorra, Grimmjow and Nnoitra." She said, smiling brightly.

"Oh!" Was all I could say.

"Nel, I am throwing a party in their honor. Will you come?" She asked anxiously.

"Orihime, I..I don't know if I should." I wanted to go. But I was suddenly scared. What do I tell him? I didn't know if I had gotten over those two years or not.

"Come on Nel," Rangiku said, "Give the guy a chance. Meet him at the party. If it doesn't feel alright, if you still think it's wrong, no one's forcing you."

"Nel," Orihime added, "This misunderstanding has been between the two of you for far too long. I think what the two of you need is some time with each other, alone. I assure you that if you come to the party, I will give the two of you the time you need. I know what it is like to be away from the one you love. One shouldn't stay away for more than what is necessary. It's been eight years Nel, I think it's time you both gave your relationship another chance. You are both adults now."

"Yes," Rangiku added wisely, "don't harp much longer on past mistakes. There are always newer mistakes to make."

"Rangiku!" Both of us laughed.

"But.." I started.

"No ifs and buts." Rangiku said firmly, "You are going and that's final."

"But Rangiku, I don't know what to wear."

Both my friends squealed in delight.

GRIMMJOW

FUCK!

I stood there gaping like a fucking idiot. I couldn't believe my eyes! She stood there, looking more beautiful than any angel that I could pull out of my fucking brain.

""You don't seem very happy to see me, GJ?"

GJ? She was calling me GJ again? My mind came up with a thousand witty replies to that. I chose the wittiest one,

"Nel? How?"

Yeah, I am smart like that.

"You remember the letter you sent to me?" the chick said, "The one in which you gave me Nel's address and asked me to inform her as to why you had to go away yet again?"

"Yes.." I was being so eloquent, I should have been fucking proud of myself.

"Well, I just went a step further." She said grinning. "I am sure the two of you have a lot to talk about, so go in Grimmjow. I'll see you both during dinner in about an hour."

She pushed me into the room and closed the door behind me. I was still standing there, staring at her like I was competing for the title of 'The World's Biggest Moron'. She smiled and sat down on one of the three chairs in the room. I had been to this room once before, when I had joined as an Espada. My interview was conducted here. A table and three chairs, that was all that this room had and since she was sitting on one of them I chose another one. Funnily it was the same fucking chair on which I sat during my interview. Technically this would be another interview. A much more important one.

"So.." We both started at the same time, looked at each other and grinned.

"Ladies first." I said automatically.

"Chivalry doesn't suit you GJ. You are the one who needs to talk anyway."

I sighed, once again feeling like an eleven year old boy dumped on his ass, staring up at the girl of his dreams.

"I have been thinking." I said finally, "It's not like I had much else to do in the jail." I smiled weakly at my pathetic joke. Real suave, Jagerjaquez.

She nodded, waiting for me to continue.

"So, I realized, I was an ass. I don't have any excuse for behaving like a total jerk. All I can say is this Nel, if I were given one wish in life, I would want to go back and wipe all those tears that you spilled for me. I don't know how you could do it because I sure as fuck do not deserve it. If that wasn't enough, I disappeared on you yet again for two years. I know the second time wasn't quite my fault but I still blame myself for it. Once I found you again, I didn't want to spend a moment without you."

"GJ," Nel whispered, her eyes downcast, "I think now, slowly I am beginning to get over it. I guess I had to let all my bitterness out. Once I had gotten it out of my system, I was much better. I am no longer as mad at you as I once was. I may not have been able to completely forgive you for it, but Orihime made me realize that it's time I put the past behind and move on."

I smirked, "That chick's something else, isn't she?"

"Yes, she is." she was smiling fondly.

We both sat there in complete silence, looking at each other. She was willing to give me a second chance, there was nothing better than that. The chick was right, I wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight. Finally I stood up and walked over to her. I slowly gathered her up in my arms and kissed the top of her head. I cupped her face with one hand and bent down to kiss her slowly. This was my life line and I had to be completely sure that I didn't be a complete jackass and screw it up. I had a lot of making up to do, but my angel was here, willing to let me try again. I would give it all I had and more. After all I had eight fucking years to make up for.

A/N: Contents of Grimmjow's letter to Orihime:

Chick,

Do me a favor. Tell Nel I am sorry that I cannot send flowers to her. Also apologize to her that I am disappearing again, but this time I promise that I will come back to her. Please ask her to have faith on me this one time. Her address is written below. I'll look after Emoking, you stay happy and stay safe. Take care, both of yourself and that little shrimp.

Grimmjow.